If I ever get too rich for my own good then I would really like to install a cookie shower. That's right, a nice warm cookie shower is the perfect pick me up in the morning.

In my head it's awesome, especially when I'd have cookies like white chocolate macadamian nut, snickerdoodle, double stuff oreos, oatmeal, peanut butter. However, I'm sure if the cookies aren't fresh enough that it'd hurt your head. Also you'd have to take a real shower afterwards to get the crumbs off. It's not very efficient so I'm sure only Hummer owners would want one.

OHH, BURN!

Favorite Phrase of the Day:

"Take that life gem and bedazzle a sweater."

Then my co-worker Samantha and I got into a discussion as to the best material to bedazzle. She thinks sweaters are too baggy, but a leotard is too much. So we agreed that a denim purse would be perf for it. Show that ish off 'round town and make all the peeps jealous.

And yes I just shortened perfect to be perf. Deal with it.

Second Grade Journal

The Mealworm Saga - Part II

Do they turn into beetles?
How meny eyes do they have?
My meal worms have two antnnas.
They have alittle bit of hair on them.
They try to crul out.
They are not noisey.


Unrelated Bonus Story:
This morning I saw a man with a mustache so large it ate his mouth and was still hungry for more.

Second Grade Journal Entry:

The Mealworm Saga - Part 1

They look like worms.
I feel good about them.
They curl up when they walk.
They do not moving a lot.
One of them likes the apple.

Stay tuned for the next installment with questions and more vague observations.

I really hope that if there is a Heaven you get to eat all the food you want and not gain any weight.

Daylight Savings Time is a crazy little thing that confuses us when we wake up in the morning and the digital clock doesn't match our phone. I awoke on Sunday thinking, why didn't my phone alarm go off, it's past 8:30AM according to the clock near the bed. But then oh, ho it was only 7:30AM. SCORE! Bonus hour of sleep. It was even better than finding a $20 in an old pair of jeans.

But I wonder in a society that becomes more and more reliant on technology every day that we will lose the wonder of realizing we gain an hour of sleep in the fall. Everything will be sync'd and you can no longer use that as an excuse when you're late. You'll just wake up feeling extra refreshed before your robot slave arrives with your breakfast and slippers.

TIP: Make the robot slave eat the breakfast first so you know it's not poison because it's bound to turn on you eventually.

Last night I reluctantly saw "Couple's Retreat." Let's just say I should have followed my gut and not gone in the first place. It did have some great one liners and the first couple of acts were decent but the last part just sucked. When you have a sub par Guitar Hero montage/stand off, you know you're in trouble.

On the plus side I got to see the trailer for "It's Complicated" starring my talent crush Meryl Streep and (bonus!) Alec Baldwin. My brain almost exploded from the sheer joy. Now, if that one sucks too, I'll be a-real sad.

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