Baja Day 6

Up and running – go on mini warm up jog. Play little soccer, do body weighted work outs on the roof. Sweat like crazy just doing yoga. Try to keep up with Liz, she’s like a machine that keeps going. Try to remember other P90X routines. Do a ton of pushups on my knees in order to do more of them. Stretch forever. At one point I wonder if the two of us are having a silent competition to see who stops first.

Don’t eat too much for breakfast or as Lindsey says "brekkie" because we have a BBQ party around the block at 1pm where I plan to stuff my face. We shower – after three days my hair is like a rat nest. I shampoo and condition the shit out of it so it feels normal again. Then it's BBQ time!

Get there, go straight to tequila set up. 

Sample a few. Goldilocks it up: this one's too strong, this one's kinda gross, but this tequila liquor is just right. Especially with a chaser of SKYY. Get buzzed on one small sipping shot.

Meet a bunch of people. Some I met before who remember me but I forget them. They call me out on it. Oops. Meet Dave (who we decide to call Uncle Mike) he used to grow weed. I ask him all kinds of questions, he wonders if I’m with the 5-0. Only busted once in 20 years, not bad. Distributor middle man, now into solar power. His house is solar, his stove is solar, his golf cart is solar WITH built in speakers playing - you guessed it, Jimmy Buffet. I plan to take it for a joy ride later.

Meet Karen - an overweight SUPER hammered lady who tells us to marry a guy like her husband Tom (who I rocked vball with). She also has a chair with her name written on it like it belongs to a kindergardener. Imagine the slurring of someone claiming their seat as "Karen's chair!"

I help cut up shrimp with Linda and Gary who have watched Liz and I jog past their house each morning. Learn that you gotta cut the back of the shrimp to clean out the vein full of sand - take that Alton Brown! 

Try clams with hot sauce, lime, touch of tequila = delish. Eat a bunch of fish. Homemade goodies – mixed salads, veggies, brown rice pudding, the best salsa no one was aware of so Liz and I hoard it. “Picnic cake” aka lemon and chocolate with carmel icing with butterscotch chips. More drinks. Home brewed beer that gives Liz heartburn but "it’s so worth it." Here's a pic of our good eats. 

Chuck gives us a tequila lesson. We almost pass out. We are a disgrace to our age group as the 60+ retired party animals keep going. (Please notice the novelty blanket with our host's face on it)

We BS on the roof. Take a group picture, and avoid being in the sun. Instruments are broken out. Liz and I join a band. I play the washtub bass so well I get a blood blister from “slappin’ da bass.” 

Liz goes next, the song is far too long. She wants to stop but no one let's her so she powers through. 

I rock a camouflaged egg shaker, then tambourine. Uncle Mike rocks the harmonica. It might have been the booze but it was engrossing. The following photo is accurately blurry.

Lindsey sits playing the mini drum, like a good little hippie. We call ourselves Solar Power (fist with a sun, or a fist holding a guitar and the sun in the background - just a few ideas for a logo). Dave is all about it, then doesn’t like it. We play with alliteration. Baja boob babes band. He’s amused. And drunk. Baja Joe gets his happy laugh on. Liz and I talk about how much we love Lindsey’s accent. 

Then true to my plan, I steal Unkle Mike’s solar powered ride. No one cares I’m stealing it. They're more concerned I am taking the music with me. He tells us to just not crash it. We joy ride to “I Shot the Sheriff.” 

We return to Karen chair dancing. It's glorious. She talks out loud with no one. Tries to talk to Joe but he has no idea what she’s talking about. She tries to get our attention. We make her work for it. "Girls! GIRLS! HEY!" Then finally look over... 

"... you're stupid." But our favorite piece of advice came as she left, telling us: "You gotta get..." 

We lean in... 

"Menus. In the sky." Oh Karen.

We have no idea what time it is ALL day. Night falls. We look for the big and little dipper. Find Jupitur, Venus, and Mars. Look for scorpions with a black light. Unkle Mike tells us he’s gonna kick our ass and heckle us at pool vball. I challenge him but also tell him with all this smack talk I bet we’d end up on the same team. Someone talks about how they need to bomb their house - you know for bugs. But Liz and I imagine people actually firebombing their house. It would be so American of us to have one time use houses. I could see the info commercial: "Tired of the hassle of your home? Live in it one year, bomb it, get a new one. It's that's simple!"

We start using a new phrase: SQUAWKS! It's like the new version of RATS! Only you're like a bird. You know. Text can not do this justice. It's the brainchild of Liz who says it with an AWW SHUCKS type feel as she hunches over, crosses her arms, and mouth goes sideways. Kinda like this...

It is my kryptonite. 

Back to Joe & Lindsey's house, still no power at the house but we don't care. We eat random things by candle light. Nuts, veggies, water. We BS out front with stories about Chewy, and the ranch controversy of coyotes getting poisoned - not cool. She goes in. Tells us to help ourselves to whatever. We imagine if we took that phrase to the extreme: Make pancakes - don’t eat them. Make a nut smoothie at 2am that's the loudest thing ever, wake them up, "you gotta try this!" And/or eat literally ALL of the food. "You said help yourself..." 

We watch videos on my laptop til it dies. The moon is so bright it’s like a night light. Liz wishes we were able to watch Chopped. We pine for a dinner date with Susan. We like going back and forth from crazy nights with younger folk to partying with retired kids. And I love the fact Liz and I had been spending full days together and sharing a bed for about a month and I just never get sick of her. Best sleep over party EVER.