Good ol' mom. It was her Bday on Wed the 21st, and what did she want you might ask...boring things. No offense to my mom but as people in general age their creativity seems to fade. Earings, stuff for the car, a deer whistle- i have NO idea what that is but it was on the list, shirts, turtleneck. Actually I dont think earings was even on the list this year. My dad is the same way though with this stuff-he just loves his turtlenecks. But as they get older (cough) 45 (cough) there desire for fun/non-boring things dies. I should get her some poopsie or maybe renew some AMAZING artwork I did in kindergarden of a rainbow and a sun. It's a challenge to make shoppin interesting year after year, it's wearing me out. I question if i have the stamina to continue...I'm alone on this, my brother is of NO help what so ever. But I will previal...i hope. (bites lip)

I'm out like an obese man after eating a thanksgiving meal

1st things 1st...Phrase O Da Week!!

This week it is brought to you by Heather Hadgeoff. While discussing a student in our school, who for dignity purposes will remain unknown, she said:
"She used to fart uncontrollably"
--the opposite of controlled farting.

Now back to the usual business...

Time is crazy thing. Techniquely it's always constant. Each second measured, but you can't base everything on an exact science like that. Time can take forever when it wants to; like when you're running late, you have this drawn out time where nothing gets accomplished. Yet, other times you are early and you waste time just waiting. So I have come to the conclusion that time is a human entity in the way it goes along in a daily routine. Most of the ..time..(laughs at self because I'm writing about time so its funny to use it in that sentence..) Anyway, it usually runs fine but there are points where it is behind or ahead of schedual. Maybe when a week seems to be crawling along..its because time hurt itself playin ultimate frizbee, or it has the cold, or is depressed b/c time is alone. There is no other TIME, just one. One lone soul. So don't get mad at the clock, it's only human. Hate the game, not the playa.

tra

Let's discuss a compound word. Cornbread. Corn. Bread. Corn- a food source which is consistantly yellow, with options on comsumption: Choose between its natural creation of a cob or the individual pixels removed. Then we have Bread: Composed of yeast, with a sponge like appearance. Comes in assorted variations. I.E.-Wheat, Rye, White, Potato, Raisin, etc. Options of toasting come with it as well. It's commonly used when constructing a "sandwich." When you combine both these substances you get a magnificent carbon based meal. A delight for the tummy. Oh so yummy. In the words of Chris Rock- "Aint nothing wrong wit dat!"

Recent polls show the following:
IN: When Mother Nature makes sense
OUT: When Mother Nature is drunk and the weather goes all over da place

IN: Da poopsie
OUT: pee pee

IN: Writing notes to yourself
OUT: Getting a note from someone

Word Big Bird. Big bird. He was yella, like this fella I once knew, who, lived in a shoe. It was brown and he would always flush it down. Down a river. There's a fiber, he lies, he flies...he dies. And thus is life. Don't be a knife they are too sharp so play a harp in the orchestra. Music is key, don't get stung by that bee, for he, is the King and here's the thing...the royalty will not save thee from the fires of hell. So very well, ring my bell, and I will come a-runnin'. Ain't that som'em?

Funny ting I heard: Guys are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicaped.
--its funny...cuz it's true.

They want a 70 dollar deposit for the yearbook, then i get to pay at least another 20 afterwards. This book better be made of gold and have diamonds in it. Diamonds not Qubitz Zorconia or however its spelled. It better freakin glow in the dark and be able to fly. What do they need all this money for? Drugs I bet, the teachers want to get high at the end of the year, and get high with the good stuff. But i mean cmon its a book with pictures..of students, not naked celebrities. I dont even think our class ring was that much. This book better extend my life expectancy at least 10 years. I wonder if I could just pay 30 bucks for the pages I actually want. I dont need a picture of ALL the people in this school. There are freakin 1028 kids in our class alone. Its almost impossible to know everyone of them...unless your jesus or something.

Monkeys are funny animals, ask around.

This was just too good not to make it the Phrase O the Holy Day (holy day being sunday cuz o the church thing). There usually is only a Phrase O the Week, but as I said this was just too good. It's a line from SNL, the martha stewart sketch.

::That gives me a HUGE Martha-Boner::
-It's so wrong, but so funny

Word to your Mom.

He was the sweetest of children. Always helpin' his mama he was. Oooh child, if you'd a seen his face you'd think youz was lookin at an angel. But we all know, all the angels stay in heaven. So dat made him one of those fallen angels. He ran away from home when he was only all of 7 years. Carried a big ol' suitcase down yonder (points down yonder, aka down the road). No one did stop him, cept that UPS truck. Smacked his brains clear 'cross the road it did. I didnt shed a tear though. I never did like that boy.
-This contradicting rant is brought to you by old people...
Old People, when they get senial, put them in a home.

It's Friday everyone and we all know what that means...Phrase O the week time!! (various shouts from the studio audience)
This week's phrase is from Liz, Liz Rival*i...can you figure out who that is?
The phrase was said in regards to the Food Drive, while looking at my "Fancy Sliced Carrots" can she said, in a southern accent:
--Be careful wit dem cans! (implying the importance of it being "fancy")

I would like to take the honor of renaming homeless people to a more appropriate name: Lazy Folk. They have really gotten on my nerves recently. Usually I am fond of them but when it comes to the holiday season, they just piss me off. Is it really that hard to get a job? NO, they are just too lazy so they depend on people who work hard for the money and leach off them through the power of guilt. (mocking voice) Oh i'm soo hungry. Give me money for food. Oh you want money? Then dance and sing for me, dont just be annoying, be creative, use your brain. You know they look forward to thanksgiving time cuz they get lots of food and arent greatful, they just expect it. They use us year after year, those smooth criminals. Damn them all..(until the summer time)

POOP!

I wish I could just think of food and it would appear, like Peter Pan and the lost boys did in Never Never Land. But instead of that crazy food that was colored weird and such, it would be like chicken, cake, ice-cream, peanut butter M&Ms, soup, and what have you. To top it off, that stuff could be healthy for you! That would be the greatest and it would solve world hunger. I'm a genius! I cant wait to go to Never Never Land this year! (thinks of happy things to fly but realizes that there is no fairy dust on me) RATS!

School is a lot of fun when you dont go to the 1st 4 periods...thank you drama!

Check out Incubus - Warning, the only versions so far are live but it's a great new song.

extreme change of pace for me today but i want to post this anyway, cuz my emotions have been all over this week.

Blurry Vision

Why do I do the things I do?
Is it me?
You?
The World?
I'm under the microscope
of my own eye
What's my motive?
These atoms of insecurities fly around
Faster and faster
Until they collide
in and explosion of tears.
And like so many things in life
I dont know why

Look around,
Everyone wages their own battles
but you never see the white flags
We're all actors
Glass characters
pretending to be made of metal.

Note to self : Dont ever play football again.

I cant believe the level of soreness i am experiencing right about now. Oochy ouchy! It even hurts when I lay down to rest, I feel like i have arthritis. So not fun.

Today is Sunday, Nov. 11th. That means Priemere night for Fox. I look forward to Simpsons, Malcom in da mid., and X files. Its sad to me that XF is getting bad press for this year, it was such a great show. I will be very sad if I will have to say, "it USED to be good." But i'll watch nevertheless, cuz I love Gillian. I know her by a 1st name basis.

Bless us all...every one! -Tiny Tim

Now the moment you have all been waiting for...The conclusion of Mary, the scratchy throat goblin.


Ding Dong "Mary" is dead! Vitamin C finally decided to show up and kicked it oldschool of her. About time, there was a moment when I felt doomed to forever have this illness invading my throat. But alas, NEVERMORE! It was only for like a fragment of a second that I thought otherwise, cuz i mean i dont question the awesome power of Vit. C, only fools do that.

Speakin of Fools, good song: Loverfools by The Cardigans

Phrase O the Week: Its brought to you by me, call me what you will this is MY website afterall, so GET OFF MY BACK! Anyhoo...
(as I hug my notebook I comment)_It's DELIGHTful.

Big Event for me- I got picked to do a one min. monologue on a broadway stage for when my Oral Communications class goes to see Rent. I am so excited. Seeing that being on stage is something I want to make my career out of, its a big deal and really cool experience for me. Can't wait for Dec 6 to hit.

And so last weeks Saga continues...

This Vitamin C super hero pill is taking a long time to form. I fear becoming too dependent on this Vit. C and actually being defeated, its crazy i know. I refuse to lose, that would be just plain wrong. I will not let this "Mary" ruin me!! She's going down, she's going down BIG TIME. I'll find her when she's sitting at the kitchen table reading the comics on a Sunday morning. Then I'll grab her by the throat and tell her she's got 2 choices. Either Shimmy, or DIE (dun Dun DUN). And because Mary cant shimmy, being a scratchy throat goblin and all, she WILL die. Mu-ha-ha (fades to black)

Mary still raves havoc in my throat region. She will be defeated as Harry was. Vitamin C will soon collect enough energy to form a Mary Ass Kicking Entity. (envisions giant circular Vit. C tablet with golden glow). The name of this hero...(dramatic pause) Vitamin C-its not very creative, but what exactly did you expect from a pill. They arent what you'd call "honors material."

Lately I feel like dancing, not your usual shimmy, but an all out dance. Shake my groove thang, and get some fries to go with it.

The doors of opportunities are wide open, hopefully i wont hesitate to walk through them.

This is what I would call and older article from the Colleen Times, old but still good.

I think "Harry," the devil who made his home in my stomache but was kicked out, has sent a friend to "chill" in my throat. I've been popping vitamin C like its my job so there is NO way I can be getting sick. So once again Harry strikes, only this time it's one of his friends- "Mary." Poor Harry has resorted to giving me a scratchy throat throught the power of Mary, the scratchy throat goblin for those who dont know her. Harry is just crossing the line now. I mean, I actually know he's responsible for the wave of hang ups plaguing the phone, I have caller ID. So now I must devise a plan to defeat this goblin. I'm alittle rusty in the goblinology so i might have to seek advice, but either way..Mary is going down...WAY down.

As for the mus-ak: It's official, I'm obsessed with Coldplay. I searched for new songs today and found 4 great songs. Man they are SO great its amazing. If you want to check out the newst songs they are; Animals, No more keeping my feet on the ground (a long title but its really good so dont discrimminate), For you, and Only Superstition.

In the latest news: The "less fortunate" are becoming a big pain in the arse. At the rate I'm going with all these food drives in every Fing class, i'll be at a soup kitchen for thanksgiving. (shakes fist)

Why is "Cup Noodles" called that? Why not Cup O Noodles. Were they that lazy that they couldnt even slip an "o" between the name. Or maybe the company is too far in debt so they cant afford more ink to print out an "o". Maybe they could hire some elves to write an "o" between the words, under pay them, give em no insurance, beat them, make em cry. Elves are good for that kind work, and they dont complain..well, to your face anyway, cuz they gots no wherez else to go. Santa is laying off a lot of workers..and elves got to feed themselves.
But anyway, without the "o," Cup Noodles is like a fragment of a sentence...if cup noodles WAS a sentence that is. But a sentence needs a verb and all...WOW I'm a HUGE nerd.

Coldplay is my love

How come magna doodles always have dents in them? It doesnt matter how many times you try and erase it, it's there FOR-EV-ER!! You'd think they would perfect that, with all the money that flows into the magna doodle funds (looks away). But i mean is it really that hard to make a stronger cover, it is made for kids, they destroy things like its there job. But it's not their job, well it shouldnt be, that's child labor and we all know how wrong that is. Back to the whole toy thing, I never want to take my kid to Toys R Us until they are about 20 yrs old. It might sound liek i'd be a nazi as a parent, but think about it. Every parent goes there with good intentions of getting ONE toy (like that EVER happens) and they leave with their child kicking and screaming. Then comes the glances from the other people in the store mummbling under there breath that you are a child abuser. You just cant win.

I am aware that it is friday and this weeks Phrase O the week goes to Kristin Macrosin(i totally did not spell her last name right, or probably the 1st for that matter) Only a select drama ppl will get this:
You're smoking a JOINT in MY CLASS?!!---you had to be there

As for Drama...plays is this weekend so go see MAKIN IT today or Sat. its at 8 and its 8 bucks. Just watch for the detention kids cuz we are so funny i must say.

Wow lookin back on last weeks posts...i had nothing to talk about cept the new format, i apologize for such boring CRAP. I gots a whole bunch o new stuff now.

Very busy weekend, one thing I had to do on Sat was take the ACT. Nice and early. I think it's moments like those when having a clone would be beneficial, a person who by every physical appearance IS you. But, for this other you to help take tests in your place, you'll need to tell, for argument sake we'll call this "other you," Sam. Tell Sam everyone studies all the time so they can survive. The people who dont get will inevitably get eaten by dinosaurs....You are guaranteed that studing is ALL Sam will do. However, in case you get stuck with a bad clone, if its defective use it as a bookself.

Guess what kids?! Its Friday..and we all know what that means. (crowd gets all into it and shouts the following: PHRASE O THE WEEK!)

This week's phrase is brought to you by the narrating ability of Danielle O'leary. Backround info: While watching a cheesy movie in eco about supply and demand they talked about a drought in america during the 70s or something, people were trying to consurve water and they showed a sign which read:
If it's yellow, leave it mellow.
If it's brown, flush it down.

Its a good motto.

Shout outs to..: Danielle- Look, he's REALLY there! (obviously the man is standing in front of a blue screen)
LIZ- Mmmmmm...

There might be a shortage of funny this weekend, as the Big Cheese aka Me, has mucho junk to do. (whatever could junk mean in that sentence?)

i tink i will actually stay with dis format. (applause at the fact that i made up my mind..Hurray)

After the dwarfs had realized their numbers had decreased from 54 to 7...they started to suspect Hungry...or as some like to call him, Hungy.