Last night I hear this noise and its a type of heavy breathing. I figure it was my dad snoring at first cuz he snores loud at times. But the sound was too close. I look toward the end of my bed and there is my cat. She was freaking snoring. What is that? I think I'll open up a ride or display.

Come see LUCKY the AMAZING SNORING CAT!

I'm unsure of the cover charge but the hot dogs will be ridiculously over priced.

I'm watching tv and this commercial comes on Ultimate Kenny G.
I guess his sales arent doing so good so he needs to go out and promote it. You can check out the website to see is this truely is the ULTIMATE in Kenny G. www.ultimatekennyg.com

Best part was him walking on the beach, the sun and wind blowing his curls, and his clarinet over his shoulder.
I GOT to see him in concert. I bet he rocks so hard.

Today I bought two shirts from American Eagle. 18 bucks total. One says China and the other says California. The Cali one is so comfy. I love it. And the China one...hello! China! and it has a panda bear. You cant beat that.

Late at night I turn on Channel 41 and lo and behold American Gladiators was on. Oh my gasp! So I'm all watching it and talking to Liz when I asked what her gladiator name would be, because as soon as I saw Laser getting ready for the Joust and his name sparkling on his elastic suit I wanted to know what I would call myself.
My conclusion...
THE JUICE

when I get angry I'd be like...You Spilled THE JUICE!
and then when i beat them I'm like....OOOH DRINK YOUR JUICE!

and i could endorse several refreshing beverages.
then THE JUICE could get a sweet ass house and it would be on Cribs.

I saw Conan O'Brien today
JEALOUS?!

You should be. Check it out tonight Friday June 6th, or Comedy Central Monday when they re-run it at 7. I am the person who yells "I Love You!" near the end of the monologue. Also I got Seth Green to wave at me while we breaked for a commercial AND when he mentions Dr.Phil in the interview I said "YES!" a lot louder than I thought, everyone else was silent. I expected people to give it up for the Dr.Phil mention but no. I did actively contribute to the WOO!'s YEAH's and OWW's. So listen up!

This is for Yvone.

I was telling a friend of mine, Jess Rouge, about you. That you were Korean and from Brazil. She thought I called you Bonnie. And from that a sitcom was born in which the whole premise is that you are BONNIE (cartoon letters) and you are Korean and from Brazil but you find yourself in crazy situation in the US. Oh that Bonnie.

In other news yesterday was really nice, I worked, came home, watched tv, played soccer with my dog, played tennis with my dad, ate, talked with Jess. I feel so productive! It was nice and I ACTUALLY went outside. But I didnt get a tan cuz I am irish, english, and german so I have a zero percent chance of that happening. But I am ok with that. For I shall never die from skin cancer. Take THAT tan people! I will live longer than you!
Well...unless I get hit by a bus, or you have like anti-cancer skin.

Word of the day looked up randomly: Nonperson
meaning: unperson, a person having no social or legal status.
My clone is an unperson and shall never vote.

I got home today and very random conversational my dad says the following:

At dinner mom said she could hear the cat peeing in the liter box.

Later:

(While walking the dog) Parker took a dumb on a newspaper.

Right after I heard this I went straight here and wrote it down. Nothing but the best.

As for the last post, I was later informed that it wasnt an apricott, but a tangerine. But I bet apricotts have bums too.

today I ate an apricott and I have to let everyone know that parts of that fruit look like a butt. There is an area where the two sides of the fruit collide and form an ass. And I know you could say, Hey its round, how are there two sides?
Don't question me. Just see for yourself. Head over to your local grocery store and find the apricotts and look at their bums.

Also: it was kind of weird to eat the butt. Tastey...but weird.

106.1 WBLI is the most annoying radio station on long island. This is why:

They claim to be the most listened to radio station, but thats because it comes in EVERYWHERE so you are forced to listen to it.
They play the same songs over and over again
I have heard 50 Cent 6 times in 5 hours (while at work)
Yesterday after they played Busta Rhymes I said the next song will be 50 Cent of Avril Lavine. What came on next? Avril. I felt like a King.
They suck

I think that about sums it up. The people of LI need to come together, pool about 5 bucks each, we'll start our own station that has VARIETY and then rock out to the beats.

Send your cash/checks/money order/traveler's checks to me.

For all those who have seen the T3 trailer (Terminator 3), what is Clair Danes character? I think she plays the girl who screams, runs away, gets herself in a pickle, and looks hot.

Such depth....

proof that it is summer

While reading another blog spot I looked at the top to see the day it was entered, Thurs. May 22. I looked at my watch, which has the date and said, "wow, it's thursday?!"

Evidence that I am already losing track of time.

Behold, one of our games has been christened today:

BlackHwk10: I broke my tv
Lactaid Lady: oh thats horrible
Lactaid Lady: you could play Howd it Break
BlackHwk10: hehe.......how do you play?
Lactaid Lady: well you have something thats broken
Lactaid Lady: so i have to guess how it was broken
BlackHwk10: ah
BlackHwk10: ok
Lactaid Lady: did it fall?
BlackHwk10: nope
Lactaid Lady: is it really old
BlackHwk10: nope
Lactaid Lady: did you punch it
BlackHwk10: ill give you a hint........I broke it
BlackHwk10: nope didnt punch it
Lactaid Lady: threw something at it
BlackHwk10: nope
Lactaid Lady: hmmm
BlackHwk10: out of guesses?
Lactaid Lady: no just pondering
BlackHwk10: pondering the dubiousness of our existence
Lactaid Lady: indeed
Lactaid Lady: spill something on it?
BlackHwk10: nope
BlackHwk10: need another hint?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
BlackHwk10: i was moving it when it happend
BlackHwk10: so i was carrying it
BlackHwk10: i didnt drop it though
Lactaid Lady: hit it too hard
BlackHwk10: nope
BlackHwk10: its gonna be really hard to guess it
Lactaid Lady: you stepped on the cord and tripped
BlackHwk10: nope
BlackHwk10: new hint
Lactaid Lady: yeah
BlackHwk10: it was still plugged in
Lactaid Lady: you pulled the cord out, the part that goes into the tv
BlackHwk10: ding ding ding!!!!
Lactaid Lady: YES!
Lactaid Lady: I won!

And thats how we play How'd It Break?

Yesterday at work (Ralph's Famous Italian Ices) many people wanted Banana Fudge. This ice is a cream ice, which means there is some milk in it. (The milk reference has nothing to do with me being lactose intolerant in case you thought it attacked me or something). And there is fudge in it,hence the name, as such when i go to scoop it I get some on my arm because some of the fudge is alone the wall of the container. Hence, I had fudge on my arm. Pat, my boss, suggested we have Arm Fudge as a flavor. I then tired to think of what arm would taste like. I settled with Pork.

Pork and Fudge. I smell a hit!

Sorry for delay. Travel and being home take up time and unfortunately, blog, we just can't hang out like we used too. Don't worry I'll take you out for ice cream later.

In other words, I think the weather has amnesia. It doesnt remember that it's supposed to be nice outside and not cold or rainy. Poor ol' weather hasn't been herself. Fell down and hit her head on a rock, she did. Now she done fordot all 'bout herself. Shame, aint it?
(spits tabacci into the dirt)

And now, A Haiku

Oh, Miso Tired
The feet did too much today
I will eat dinner.

It's almost time to go home and I refuse to really think about it, because when I do it makes me sad to leave all the great people here. I want to keep my summer busy and start off running. Speaking of running, guess who hasn't been to the gym? Yeah it's me. But I'll play tennis tomorrow so that should make up for it.

Now for the fun. Yesterday I exposed Jess to late night television. And I realized how random Letterman is, and how great it is to see it on tv. I want to work for him.
So he plays these games like 'Is This Anything,' 'What's Your Problem,' 'Will it Float.' And so Jess thought about others that could be in the genre. The Gems include:

Guess My Injury
What's in my pocket
What's that machine
How'd it Break - my fave
Can you believe it
Hi or Bye (a person waves and you figure out if it's Hi or Bye)
Is that fun
Would you touch that

And I have a show next year that you get sponsor for stuff like food. Well Jess wants to make a Random Club where people get together and do random things like watch squirrels, talk to ducks, throw pudding, sharpen pencils etc. We pick the activity at random from a hat. But not everything is fun, sometimes you gotta do stuff like clean toilets, or take a math test. So I think to help promote the club I'll have them sponsor the show so we can play these games listed above. It's going to be awesome.

Kim say: You smell like old cheese and dirty apple.

Funny little fact AJ is running for Secretary...NOT VP. Hence, speech shall be interesting.

Walking into Abbys room I realize that I have the same fan she does. I tell her. She says, "Wow..we're like the same person." Only she said it rather dry. I think she was being sarcastic. Oh that Abby!

You know what's a great feeling. Selling back your books to the bookstore for money and getting 50 cents for a book you paid 13 bucks on.
Priceless.

So yeah I haven't gone 24 hours without seeing X2 since it came out. I spent a total of 20 bucks. I'm helping fill in the quota. I will prob see it again, but I need a little break. I spend about 3 hours online yesterday looking up the history of the comics and the character stuff. Yes, I am a dork. It's my new obsession.

Hmmm whatever shall I write? Well last night I wrote a speech for AJ - he is running for Vice President next year. Not for the United States, but for Sachem High School. Last year I wrote his and he won. The secret is to write about stuff totally unrelated to the election. Don't talk about what you have done, what you plan on doing. Talk about random things. People like to be entertained. Razzle dazzle 'em, and they'll make you a star.

So here it is:
Vice President.
Some are unaware what that phrase even means. Let’s begin the educational process.

Vice
Vice rhymes with Dice (slicin’ and dicin’), Rice (a delicious food and good source of protein), Nice (a characteristic), Lice (a parasite), and Ice (a form of water).

Water
Has the ability to quench thirst.
Scene:
Harry: Boy, am I thirsty.
Sara: Let’s drink water.
Harry: What a swell idea.
End Scene

In addition water takes on different forms such as Lakes, Rivers (Rio in espanol), Ocean, Puddle from rain.
Rain – form of precipitation from the atmosphere.
There is a 70% chance of rain tomorrow, shattered showers throughout the day, low of 60. Winds NNW.

Moving on to President. Let’s break this three syllable word up. Pres-i-dent.
Pres
Presents. Gifts. Birthdays. Holidays. Happiness. Cake.
Yum…cake.

I – me, myself.
Used in a sentence – I am AJ.
Spoken in the first person allows the reader/listener to connect on a personal level.

You – Second person. Often times used to project a feeling onto the person.
You should wear pants.

Third person: He/She gives a distant feeling
Ex. Sally ate an apple.
That’s all we know about Sally. She ate an apple. Does she like apples? Who knows.

Now to the last part of the word: Dent
Dent (noun) a slight hollow made in a surface by a blow.
If you make a strong guy angry he will dent your face in.
I say No to Fighting.
But I say Yes to Vice. Yes to Presidents. Yes to Vice’s of Presidents. Yes to you. Yes to Me. Yes (dramatic pause) To AJ.
Thank You.

I saw X-Men 2 this afternoon. Oh boy, I'll be seeing that again. Afterwards we had to take a bus back to town and we wasted time by figuring out what our mutant powers would be. Except you had five seconds to think of it so it would be something pretty stupid; no flying or invisibility. I immediately thought of Gas because I am always burpin' n such. So I throw my burps and they can capture bad guys for a certain amount of time depending on the burp power. Also inside the bubble it smells like whatever I just ate and if its powerful enough they pass out. Plus, I can go inside my own burp bubbles and it will protect me. However, no gassy food or someone slips me some Bean-o and I aint got no pow-ah.
I am really excited about this actually and I hope somehow I get this power. However, since I am not a mutant yet, I think it can happen in my dreams.