Today I attempted to walk in the hallways for a minute without touching anyone else. It's impossible. Even if you are totally aware of your own space, the bump from behind will get ya. (shakes fist) See if you can walk in the hallways of your school without getting touched. Report back if there is a successful mission.

I'm sure some of you are aware of the recent increase of monsters. They have been in hybernation for quite awhile. Now they have awakened and are hunting again. Thankfully I have a list of the top 3 recently spotted monsters..or monstas as they are often referred as:

1. Back Slappa
2. Bum Smacka
3. Car Eata

Car Eata does emit a warning sound before it attacks the unsuspecting car. It sounds like this, "NYUM!" You hear that, and you need to get outta there. Jump, run, shimmy. Whatever you need to do. I don't wanna read about any Car Eata attacks in the paper.

I am listening to dis: Wu-Tang - M.E.T.H.O.D. Man
oh rap...