So in a few hours I will turn 23. I'm not one for making a big deal out of the ol' birthday. I mostly go around feeling relatively awkward all day. When people say happy birthday, it's not that I'm not thankful they are thinking of me but I just don't really know what the proper response is supposed to be. Wanting to be polite I have to stiffle the impulse to say, "thanks, you too!" And they all look at you, unlike a holiday like Christmas where you all get gifts. I could have been PC just then and said "holiday" but you know what, I'm not jewish, so there's pretty much no other holidays.

Gifts are even worse. Do I open it now? Wait til later? Oh you want me to read the card first. OK. To be honest, half the time I skim over it so fast because after all - I want to get to the actual thing. Because of that I mostly play off of what they think my reaction should be to the card.

Example: If it has a witty phrase in it, they look at you with a laugh and chuckle. Logically I follow along.

It's not too hard.

Then the gifts. If it's not money or a gift card or a DVD it's always a toss up. Will I have to pretend I like it? I hate being dishonest but it's one of those things. We tell our kids to be honest but white lies don't hurt. After all the 300lb man knows he's fat, we don't need to tell him that. So stop pointing little Johnny, that's rude.