I don't get much mail besides pre-approved credit cards and bills - even though my hippie self signed up to go paperless. There is the occasional Bed Bath and Beyond booklet I keep around thinking I'll take advantage of the coupon for the love seat slip cover, which I NEVER do. But the other day while glancing at my pile on the way to the recycling bin - again, hippie - I found an envelope with AARP on it and my name. I'm not as young as I once was, but I'm def not able to use a senior citizen discount.

Is anyone checking this crap before they send it out? Aren't there enough old people thanks to the baby boom era, do they need to recruit the youngins? Perhaps they are trying to get in my good graces since they know I'm sporty and despite not playing much softball, they need me for their team. OR they are like youth vampires and want to steal my good looks so they can appear young. After all, I do live in Hollywood. I wouldn't be surprised. Either way, as you can see from the picture, they need me to fill out a form so it's just not going to happen. My dad can vouch for that.

If I ever get so rich I would hire people to do stupid things for me. I'd hire a guy who went through all that crap and told me which credit card I should apply for - not that I'd need it. I mean, I'd have a pool full of money that I swam in. BUT if you want to keep that money, gotta spend it wisely and learn to "invest." So you know what, guy, you're fired!

Ugh, potentially being rich is SUCH a burden.