There was still some grumblings yesterday but not as bad, however, the day was so crazy I didn't really eat much so that probably helped. I did have some time for research and guess what?

Apples AND pears can both make you gassy. And so does basically EVERYTHING else I've been eating. I'm like a gas factory. Here's what I learned from the information superhighway.

First of all when you google search "foods that" the first auto fill is "cause gas." So I'm not alone in my plight. Also, "most people do not realize that passing gas 14 to 23 times a day is normal." Perhaps I need to keep a count.

• Foods that may cause gas include
• beans (good for your heart, more you eat, more you...)
  
• vegetables, such as broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, artichokes, and asparagus (aka Colleen's lunch)
  
• fruits, such as pears, apples, and peaches (aka Colleen's snacks)
  
• whole grains, such as whole wheat and bran (aka Colleen's breakfast)
  
• soft drinks and fruit drinks
  
• milk and milk products, such as cheese and ice cream, and packaged foods prepared with lactose, such as bread, cereal, and salad dressing (this is no surprise)
  
• foods containing sorbitol, such as dietetic foods and sugar-free candies and gums (def chewing 2-3 sticks a gum a day)

So basically ALL of my theories were right. But what exactly am I supposed to eat? This covers most foods. Except candy. How curious I discover this on the weekend of Halloween. Coincidence? I think not. I think someone is trying to Incept this idea into my head to make me buy more candy. Well I refuse! You're going to have to go at least 3 levels into my subconscious and avoid any reference to Umpah Lumpah's from the original Charlie and the Chocolate factory because those suckers still creep me out. You will never convince me they just rolled Violet away to the juicer. No, sir. You just can't trust someone with orange skin and green hair. There, I said it.