Baja Road Trip, Episode 3: Now Available on DVD!

DAY 3

- After splitting a full fruit plate for only 2 dollars and drinking some delicious fresh squeezed OJ, guess what I had to do in little less than an hour? Let me say attempting to pee in a moving camper is dangerous territory. (Also in the TMI world, from not drinking a ton of water my pee was basically bright orange.)

- So after avoiding giving myself a golden shower, we arrived at what turned out to be one of my favorite places of the trip: San Ignacio. We stayed at an awesome bed and breakfast. The rooms were these big tents, there were date palms everywhere, the dirt roads around us were covered in broken sea shells (not to be confused with broken dreams) and according to their sign they take Visa - but I'll have you know FALSELY advertised for iguanas...Also they had working WiFi. GASP! Be still my heart!

- The Canadian couple who runs the place (ey?) allows you to use kayaks on this lagoon that's part of the property. Once we arrived Jean (65) and I went kayaking. Here's the thing, she's an avid kayaker and I am not so I had to haul ass to keep up with her, though technically my kayak was bigger and thus heavier so really I probably WOULD have beaten her.

- Upon surveying the camp grounds I discovered several wondrous things such as: a dirty "Finding Nemo" stuffed animal hanging between the palm trees...and, are you ready for this one, I FOUND it amusing. It was far from my grasp but it didn't seem to be filled with candy.


- I then discovered a working (?) toilet aka a shack with a bench that had a hole in it. Although they did manage to get a toilet seat, which was still up. My guess is it was left up by the guy who was literally "living in a van down by the river" a la Chris Farley motivational speaker character from when SNL was actually funny. I got a peak inside this van but unless he was rocking the homeless look after faking his death, it wasn't him.

- Dinner here was a force to be reckoned with despite the fact that it was Chinese food, cooked by Canadians in Mexico. The homemade egg rolls were annihilated, including by Suzi who claimed to be allergic to all things shell fish. So when we discovered some pieces of shrimp in them, her husband Phil was on guard to run for the epipen a la "Pulp Fiction" (well probably not that intense but still). She casually kept eating claiming it was worth it. Then like Y2K, nothing happened. Food miracle! We celebrated by eating date cake. YUM.

- This night I actually stayed up late chatting with Jean and Jim about hippie things like Farmers Markets, hiking, and how crazy Sarah Palin is. Here's us being un-American.

- After we were done it was 10pm. Yeah, that's right, we were party animals. I insisted I could find my way back to where the camper was parked by the lagoon on my own with the use of my iPhone. I mean how dark could it be? Despite the stars being AMAZING (I felt like I was a bug in a shoe box that had holes poked in it) they weren't bright enough. My phone couldn't light more an a foot ahead of me. I silently thanked myself for the walk earlier. Now all I had to do was remember how to get back without being eaten by coyotes or murdered by the man "living in a van down by the river!" Simple. It looked like this, only pitch black. (Sorry, Mom!)

- I made it back safe and sound only to find the camper door locked! Damn! For a second I contimplated having to walk back but then Phil opened the camper door. He was trying to keep the houligans away. Shortly after I fell asleep to/giggled at the weirdest bull frog's song.