So I have been unemployed for far too long. I didn't get laid off or fired. It's just what happens when you work on a TV show. There is downtime between seasons called a hiatus. Mine was supposed to be for 2 months. It has lasted 5 - and then some. It's really dangerous to not be working for this long. Not because it may look bad on a resume, but because you get so used to NOT working the idea of going back to work is lame. Suddenly my workaholic mentality can understand the gold diggers. "You know, I'd like to go back to work and I know I will BUT if I found a rich dude... Maybe I don't HAVE to chase after that dream of running my own show."

I even had that moment of, "I think I'll join the Peace Corps."


Yeah, that happened. I even went so far as to go to an info session. Only me and five others in the entire LA area thought it was a good idea. Turns out I'm not even qualified for that. This is what happens with you get a BS in TV production. Tell me people in Africa wouldn't love to have their own talk show... No? They'd rather read? Fine.

"But surely if you are passionate enough you can write a good essay about why you should be considered," you say in order to make me feel like I have some discernible skills. Yeah sure, but then I also need a recommendation letter from my volunteer supervisor who doesn't exist. Dammit! Why are doing good deeds across the world so hard!

Basically my humanitarian pull to help people has been reduced to signing up for Habitat for Humanity newsletters. Occasionally they happen in my area but most of the time I'm all, "Long Beach? Ugh, that's too far..." So I donated some clothes to Goodwill. Totally the same. I'd like to volunteer at a soup kitchen but my google search has been unsuccessful as of yet. There simply aren't enough poor people in LA who are conveniently located by me. Surely it can't be THIS hard to give back?! Though for the record, I did give a guy hanging out by the highway exit ramp a bag of leftover bread rolls from a family dinner.

You see, as Oprah would say, the universe has provided for me in my time of need. And I just want to give back. Or at least that's what I think she would say, I have never actually watched a full episode of Oprah even despite my many many days not working. But people keep asking me, "how are you alive?" Like it's some big mystery. The answer is, it's pretty simple. I don't spend money I don't have.

Tomorrow I shall begin to lay out my tips on HOW TO SURVIVE ON UNEMPLOYMENT. I encourage you all to enjoy some down time and sneak attack mooch as much as you possibly can - with class.