I just danced around my kitchen because I am going to California this summer for a week. I love my Aunt Donna, she RULES!! I of course have to pay for this but now i am so motivated to complete my application for FYE.

oh snap

Today myself and a friend who can only be called Pimp, decided to take into consideration this week of multicultures. Now we are both fairly decent human beings, we know from right and wrong, but today we danced near that line. I thought it would be rather funny if you went up to people who were not just in general ugly in appearance but ugly as a person (I.E.- sluts, annoying people, dirtbags, morons, mean people...etc) and went "EWW!" out loud to them but they wouldnt realize it was directed at them, they would simply think it was part of a conversation you were having with a friend, in this case that's Pimp. So we preceeded to shout various types of EW!'s at people we found to be ugly people (again this was not based on looks...thats just mean).

I encourage you all to try it. Especially during Multicultural week when we are taught to not judge people and give them all a chance. Chance Shance, I say. You see someone you don't like shout EWWW! If they ask if you did it at them, say "no, I was thinking about the time my friend ate poo."

EWW!!

Let's define exactly what it is to "Kick it Oldschool" as seen by the Webster's Dictionary.

Kick: a blow or thrust with the foot; esp. a propelling of a ball with the foot.
it: that one---used of a lifeless thing, a plant, a person or animal, or an abstract entity. used as an anticipatory subject or object (ex. It's good to see you)
Old: 1.having existed for a specified period of time. 2.of or relating to an era. 3. advanced in years 4. showing the effects of age or use
school: 1. an institution for teaching and learning. 2.a body of persons of like opinions or beliefs.

So clearly to "Kick it Oldschool" means to thrust with the foot at a lifeless thing, a plant, a person or animal, or an abstract entity that existed for a specified period of time and that pretains to another era within an institution for teaching and learning. See, you learn something new every day.

If thats not enough for you, oldster is a word. It sounds like something from the copy guy from SNL. The Oldster, Olderinie, Older-rama, making copies.

note: neither words "olderinie" or "older-rama" appear in the dictionary or in everyday conversations.

Note: Tony wasnt even 18 for a day and he already runs into trouble with the law..

Danielle: It's the Po-po!!

For more details, ask me. Oh, and po-po=police.

Phrase O the Week goes to Karen from Will and Grace, of the Thursday night line-up on NBC. I dunno how many watched it but Karen's mom was a con artist and needed Karen's help to get this dying guy to give her all his money. So the mother had told the man that her daughter was poor and slow. And for comedic antics, Karen had to dress for the part. She had a side pony tail, and got to wear a pink T-shirt reading the following:

I LOVES ME KITTY (equiped with a drawing of a kitty)

I only wish I had a shirt like that.

Today I attempted to walk in the hallways for a minute without touching anyone else. It's impossible. Even if you are totally aware of your own space, the bump from behind will get ya. (shakes fist) See if you can walk in the hallways of your school without getting touched. Report back if there is a successful mission.

I'm sure some of you are aware of the recent increase of monsters. They have been in hybernation for quite awhile. Now they have awakened and are hunting again. Thankfully I have a list of the top 3 recently spotted monsters..or monstas as they are often referred as:

1. Back Slappa
2. Bum Smacka
3. Car Eata

Car Eata does emit a warning sound before it attacks the unsuspecting car. It sounds like this, "NYUM!" You hear that, and you need to get outta there. Jump, run, shimmy. Whatever you need to do. I don't wanna read about any Car Eata attacks in the paper.

I am listening to dis: Wu-Tang - M.E.T.H.O.D. Man
oh rap...

Ghetto Songs for when you need to biz-ounce:

1. Q-Tip - Breathe and Stop
2. Eminem - Kill You
3. Method Man and Redman - Da Rockwilder
4. Raphael Saadiq and Q-Tip - Get Involved
5. Garth Brooks - I sing Da Country Mu-sak

It's the S. A double D.I.Q, yo he want to get involved wit chu.
There is nothing else to say, besides that sometimes things work out better than you expected. Crazy lil ting called Life.

I feel like throwing up on something...(ponders what this lucky "something" will be, light bulb goes off)

BLAH ON THE DIRTY PENNIES!

Colleen was here

But then she moved out to the country to eat a lot of peaches.
Millions of peaches
Peaches for her
Millions of peaches
Peaches for free
(look out!)

Sometimes cool people can really suck.


And remember the wise words of Kelly: Old people smell like spaghetti

Oh and Shakespeare is the devil, I'm not reading him right now this is just a general statement. Speaking of general statements..

General Food Bashing:
Peaches are dumb
Butter is a fatso
Peas have no friends

I'd like to introduce a new addition to the site. (Bill Cosby walks out) No, not him. (He hangs his head in disappointment and mumbles about pudding under his breath). This new lil dingy came about when Liz and I went to see John Q - good movie. Before the previews come up they always show some triva and pictures of Coca-Cola, but this time they decided to BASH general food by claiming: Cookie Dough Bites. To which I said, Cmon its not that bad, a lot of people like it. So we realized this cinema enjoyed labeling types of food. So Liz and I figured...why not?
Without Further Aduo...

General Food Bashing:
Coca-Cola Sucks
Bread is Gay

Thats it for today. Now I would like to share quite possibly the funniest rap verse ever heard. It is from the context of Purple Pills by Eminem and D12:

Shut your mouth you dirty slut,
you know you want it in your butt

Its just like the rhythm of Smooth Jazz.

Phrase O the Week. This weeks comes from the ever so masterful SNL. As their best commerical deals with the subject matter of insurance against robot attacks, an old woman first thinks that she's surely too old to get insurance-but she does want it since the robots come at night and steal her meds for fuel. Another old woman leans in and says:

I don't know why the scientist make them.

As Liz would say, Crazy scientists..always good for a laugh.

Liz and I had an interesting conversation this afternoon about the devil having online:

FJive45: speak o da devil
Lactaid Lady: i didnt know they got internet in hell
FJive45: of course! i think thats where was invented
Lactaid Lady: did you read that somwhere?
FJive45: oh yeah the, Devil Times, i believe
Lactaid Lady: I only get Newsday
FJive45: sheltered child
Lactaid Lady: Have you ever met him...
Lactaid Lady: Lucifer
FJive45: i've never had the pleasure actually, you?
Lactaid Lady: once I passed him in the hall
Lactaid Lady: we made eye contact
FJive45: you didnt!
Lactaid Lady: I did!
FJive45: !!
FJive45: omg you're such a whore!
Lactaid Lady: (blushes)
Lactaid Lady: You know me

My mind=blank. My creative juices have been sucked out by those obese vampires. Damn them! Stupid vampires with the sharp teeth (shakes fist). If you ask me, they should have to get a license for using those. It's absolute chaos I tell ya. Flying around at night, drinking blood of humans (and sometimes cows). It is SO illegal, but not written down in the Vampire Restriction Parers created by the French. Vampires got it made easy. Smooth criminals, all of them...except Bob, he's alright. Lent me money for soda one time.

Hey! Hey! Look at this! (points to old man eating a sam-mitch)
Yum

Ask yourself this:
If I were to become an animal, which would I be?

I'd probably become a chinchilla. Those crazy rabbit/squirrel looking things. They are in pet stores but mostly in the wild so I wouldnt have to worry to much about sitting in a cage my whole life. I could live in the jungles of South America. Be named Jose. Run around in the trees with the monkeys and scavange for grape nuts. What a great life...

I'd renamed the Random Word Looked Up in the Dictionary to Dictionario Tiempo (translation: Dictionary Time)

yoyo: a thick grooved double disk with a string attached to its center which is made to fall and rise to the hand by unwinding and rewinding on the string; leading cause of insanity

Ozma: Rock...
I will never skip a rock
I will never skip a rock
I will never skip a rock, again

Each vacation expands my capacity to become a dirtbag.

I get so used to lounging around, watchin' tv, sleeping. It's a bitter sweet break from the norm. I am envious of people who don't care [bout nut-tin]. No matter how easy it seems to just NOT do an assignment I would feel so bad to disappoint a teacher but at the same time I have a current attitude of 'ska-rew dis.' I just don't have the ability to become a dirtbag. Potential is there, but I can't pull it off.

Random thoughts:
-Life cereal is tastey goodness in a box
-I could go for some lemonade (minute-maid)
-Desks are restricking, we need recliners
-What's up with the Sachem Boys Wrestling poster?
-The GAP sucks
-The Candy Heart told me "it's love." But I don't like grape

De End

Now that I am forced to accept the reunion with school is coming tomorrow, I realize I really SHOULD finish up any hw i totally ditched to PAR-TAY. But alas, I am a slacker and dont wanna. The english research report calls out and I'm like "Yes, you shouldn't" so I watch tv instead. School is SO dumb, I aint never gonna...(too lazy to complete thought). Wow, senoritis is a crazy disease that effects millions of High School seniors worldwide.

Funny Ghetto Song Lyrics:
I F for free
Got HIV
So pee on me

Today I put corn on my teeth so they looked yellow and such. And merry talked about getting lots of corn in her poo in front of the waitress. Danielle Fs for free.

Down with School! Damn Communists. Where is McCarthy when you need him?

If, for one reason or another, you are STILL uninformed....Alan Rickman is DA Coolest! AND as if that's not enough, he's British too. How insane?!
Is that even legal?
It is in every state except North Dakota, but who wants to go there anyway..?

Alan Rickman Quote O the Day: He goes out once a month and indulges. Doesnt tell anyone where he is. And gives all his points away to neighborhood children..isnt that sweet?

Long time no see. That's what happens when you can sleep for long amounts of time...thats all you do. My vacation has been very relaxing: sleep, eat, watch tv, hang out in over passes...you know the usual. Now lets discuss some of these things that are all over NBC. I believe they are called "The Olympics." Now today I watched the Woman's Curling game of USA vs. Canada (for the bronze) along with Dan. Now, after a careful analysis of this game I still had NO CLUE what the hell was going on. Dan shared my confusion when he said: they just keep knocking them right out of the freakin way.

If anyone can solve this mystery please call me. Miso curious.

Ok Random Word in the Dictionary Time:

excrement (I swear I didnt choose it): waste discharged from the body and especially from the alimentary canal. (The alimentary canal was of course man made by Theodore Roosevelt in Panama)

Thanks to Webster's Dictionary.

Yo kid, I'll be gone til November. (throws peace sign at YA)

Ok I know there was no Phrase O the Week there was something even better. What's that you ask? Oh, it was a Rant O the Day. And this rant it brought to you by Jesse and Me, sounds like a tv show. Now i will explain it.

This began with thinking of other things Bob Dole could sell besides Viagra cuz thats nasty n such. So I was like hey, what about Dole fruit. Then I crossed the line saying he could sell bananas. Now after this line is crossed there is no turning back we just keep going til it gets old...to us. So then jesse said that Bob Dole would only sell fallic-like objects. Here is a list: Bananas, Broom Handles, Lead Pipes, Really Long Branches, Occastional Bong (for the holidays like Xmas), Tube of Cookie Dough. He would then retire cuz they would run out of stuff to sell, but then they'd bring him back to sell Logs O Wood, and I just thought of this one: Flashlights. And the rant ends here.

Now I must say that Jesse and Me (primeres Tuesday, 8pm on ABC) always have entertaining rants that go on for at least 5 mins at a time. It's the simple things in life you treasure...

"It's good to be Kings"
Said By: Dan after we totally outdid Jesse, Merry and Tony.