It's almost time to officially celebrate the beginning of the destruction of native american culture! Thanks pilgrams!

Forever 1/64th Cherokee Indian,
Colleen

Second Grade Journal entry:

If I could do anything I wanted I would...

I would never go to school agen. Becuse we have lunch to late!

Can we talk about my use of choices here for a second? First of all the question was ANYTHING I wanted. Out off all the amazing possibilities like flying, going to six flags with no one there, become a jedi, eat candy all day, etc. I chose something school related. Now of all the complaints about school I could have went with something like the workload, the bullies, the peer pressure, getting up early, mean teachers, having to run a mile in gym class...
No I can deal with all of that but having lunch past 12 o'clock is just inhumane.

Perhaps I wrote this knowing the teacher would check it and hoped that maybe this petition would call some attention to the hard hitting issues of elementary school. ACT NOW!

Second Grade Journal entry: June 5, 1992

This summer would be terrible if...

The beach got blowen away. Then I could not go swimming at the beach. I could not find any shells or big rocks to climb. I could not go to the creek. I could not go fishing or have a bonfrie. I could not have any fun at the beach because it got blowen away. And I could not make a sandcastle. I would not have any fun at the beach. And that would be terrible!

I really like the fact that I went for something that was so dramatic. Not anything like, "oh what if I lose my bike" or "I missed reruns of saturday morning cartoons." I didn't even go for anything feasible like we didn't get to go to the beach. No, in my mind I annihilated the beach all together. No more beach. I'm not really sure what took it's place but I can tell you it's terrible! No sandcastles?! Might as well just cancle christmas while we're at it.

Just a general PS:

I have been going over some of my old posts and I have to say that I am pretty damn funny. To some people this may seem like I'm tooting my own horn and you would be right. I am awesome. I am aware of this. Let's not deny it. That will get us no where.
I mean after all, here you are reading what I have to say. Suck on that for awhile before you judge because you should know when you point the finger of blame at someone there are three fingers pointed right at you.

oh man, so deep...

Second Grade Journal entry: 11/11/92

List 3 favorite combination foods. Write their food groups.

1. Pizza
2. Tockes
3. chile

I like how I didn't do the second part of this assignment, perhaps I was banking on my teacher being so impressed by my consumption of a latin american nation that she would just forget about the food group. Also, I have no idea what Tockes is supposed to be. My best guess is tacos.

Second Grade Journal entry: January 28, 1992

One day I might...

Go to afrika And find a tresher in the a deep hole. And keep it to my self. But I would ride a tiger home but my mom would skreem.

I would like to let everyone know that is still on my "To Do" list.

Second Grade Journal entry:

If I were a giant...

I would crash the schools and I would eat dragins lifer. And my name would be school crasher.

Isn't it great that the first thing I would do as a giant would be to destroy the educational system. I dunno why dragons seem to be involved, perhaps because it too is a mystical creature. But I have to say that my name would be pretty appropriate.

Second Grade Journal entry: 12/11/91

Write about something special you and your family do together at Christmas time.

1. We put up the Christmas tree.
2. We help each other.
3. We do stuff.
4. We rape presents.

(there is a colored picture of Santa's head nearby exclaiming "Ho! Ho!")

I don't know how my teacher dealt with this one. But I'm pretty sure I would have called social services at that point, unless I was from a pirate family or something where raping and pilaging is common.

Second Grade Journal entry:

I'll never forget the time...

When I went into space. And when I went to the moon and found tresher on it. I went to pluto it was cold there. I saw aleens there to. And when I went back to earth I told my story.

(this page is full of black stars, planets, and a sun - then on the next page)

I can go back to space. And I can go back to space and tell some more stores.

The End

You know what sucks about that trip, the pictures I took were never properly developed. Appearantly the film was all overexposed, probably from using direct sunlight. What a shame, because now with no evidence it's almost like it never happened.

Taking a break from the second grade I'd like to share a thought I had over Fall Break:

There had to be a time when Hitler thought, "Yeah, I'm def going to hell."

Second Grade Journal entry:

The title of the page is Verbs. It seems it was our job to write a long list of them. Here are my first six.

exercise
dance
run
jog
move
kill

I'm sure other people used kill too. It's a healthy choice.

Second Grade Journal entry:

(there is no title)

Dear Uncle Robert

I am going to miss you very much. My family is fine. How are you? My brother Anthony is growing up. My mama and papa are fine to. My whole family is fine. I can not wait to go to the farm.

Love Wendell
P.S. Write Back

My first reaction is, "what?!" Not because it appears randomly on a page but because I don't have an Uncle Robert. I do have a brother, but his name isn't Anthony. Also, I never called my parents mama/papa, nor have I ever really wanted to go to this farm. Probably most important, Wendell is not my name.

I'm hoping this was for a book assignment when you write as a character. If not, then I probably went insane.

Second Grade Journal entry:

Why was corn so important to the Pilgrams? Explain.

1. So the Pilgrams cod eat something.
2. So they cod not diy.
3. That was the only thing they cod eat.

Good thing I cod spell.

Second Grade Journal entry:

There is no title but the whole page is taken up with a glorious story

Some fishermen were keching fish in there bouts. One fishermen cuat a big fish. The fish was about three feet long. When he got home. Insted of his family eating the fish. The fishermen's dog grabed the fish out of the fishermen's hand and eta the fish for dinner. The next day the fishermen couldn't find his fishing pole. His little boy Anthony had the fishing pole. His twin girls toled there dad that Anthony had the fishing pole. And him and his dog and twin girls lived happily ever after.

First of all half the sentences should be commas. Second, the story lacks an actual story. Clearly there is a "fishermen" because I write that about 40 times, but who is he, what is his motivation to fish, especially if his dog steals their food. Does he like the dog? Why does he keep him about. Who is Anthony deep down? Why did he steal the pole?
Perhaps my biggest question, where did these twin girls come from?

Second Grade Journal entry:

Discribe the perfect school and why.

Cuyga school. beusons we leun alot, and have fun! And be smart.

Little background info: Cayuga elementary school is where I "be smart" when I was little. I'm sure the teacher was proud to see I spelled learn wrong. It implies oh so much...

Second Grade Journal entry:

What was the happiest day in your life? Explain.

My new bed room set. bcese it saw brity.

I feel this is an amazing couple of sentences for a few reasons. 1) I am so superficial about probably one of the lamest things you can get. 2) I butchered because. 3) I wrote "was" backwards to say "saw" - Hello dyslexic how are you? 4)Brity....you know as in "I feel brity, oh so brity."

Second Grade Journal entry:

The thing I dislike most about school is...

Work because it take's to long to get done. Sometime's I get stack on seat work. PhoNics I get stack on a lot.

Hmmm...I can't imagine why.

Second Grade Journal entry:

I'd like to visit the planet __________.

I'd like to visit the planet mrkles. Because I want to get a tan. I would bring a fan. I would bring food with me too.

Yeah, that's right I made up my own planet name. And I have to say I'm pretty practical about my visit.

Second Grade Journal Entry:

9/19/91

List 5 of your favorate foods.

1. makarone and chess
2. fish stiks
3. chikien
4. corna
5. mash dtados

I managed to spell everything wrong. That's amazing. Also the directions/topic sentence was written on the board and I still spelled favorite wrong. The best part is, I have a check mark on my page, the teacher didn't bother to fix this. God bless our education system. Also, how hilarious is number 5?

Second Grade Journal entry:

not dated

Today I feel...

Today I feel Happy because me and Nicole dresses the same. Nicole had two of the same shites. She is wearing black pants and so am I.

Hey everyone look at those little girls, they are wearing shit for clothes AND matching black pants! I'm not sure but it seems one of them is pretty happy about it.