As I sat in my desk reading a book for class I came upon a sentence I would like to share:
Our German friend insists that we include some spaetzle and a load of pumpernickel bread, which gets its name from the verb pumpern, "to break wind," and Nickel, "the devil," because it was thought to be so hard to digest that even the devil would fart if he ate it.
This brings me to an interesting point, if the devil farted would it instantly be set ablaze? Perhaps only in hell it would turn to flames because of the intense heat, or maybe it would flame where ever he went because he's the devil n all. He would have to be proud of farting then, because there is no way he could deny it. Must be hard to be the devil.
Sunday, September 15, 2002
Saturday, September 14, 2002
So colleen what did you do all day?
Well, I read. Sometimes I would just pretend to be reading to get through the pages. Who writes books anyway?
Oh and I SO watched the Trading Spaces episode that they taped in my neighborhood and I got to meet Frank and Paige. Yeah Trading Spaces! If you dont know the show, but on TLC its on all the time and you will soon become a slave to interior design...with a twist.
Nothing more to say, so I just may, get some clay, and spray...it
It being the pit, or spit, that came with a kit, for sit-ting down
Down with the brown, of the clown, who lives in town, by the pound, and ate some ground...beef
Beef is chief in this reef...of coral
Coral is like the Moral of the story
Yeah that was some freestyle right there.
Well, I read. Sometimes I would just pretend to be reading to get through the pages. Who writes books anyway?
Oh and I SO watched the Trading Spaces episode that they taped in my neighborhood and I got to meet Frank and Paige. Yeah Trading Spaces! If you dont know the show, but on TLC its on all the time and you will soon become a slave to interior design...with a twist.
Nothing more to say, so I just may, get some clay, and spray...it
It being the pit, or spit, that came with a kit, for sit-ting down
Down with the brown, of the clown, who lives in town, by the pound, and ate some ground...beef
Beef is chief in this reef...of coral
Coral is like the Moral of the story
Yeah that was some freestyle right there.
Thursday, September 12, 2002
I really dont wanna talk about how I sold my soul to the devil, but it's really the most interesting thing I can think to tell you. Yeah, thats right, I am a slave to the dining hall. I was given the job of taking plates -which were as hot as hell...and we all know who lives there-and putting then at the different areas that needed them. Right away ppl were like oh that sucks, thats the worst job and I thought well it's not so bad, I get to walk around. Plus I get some exercise in my arms from holding the heavy hot ass plates.
Later on...
The person who is running the plates with me takes forever and keeps taking the light stuff-smaller plastic bowls. I was easily doing double the work she was and hid my hatred for her in a tight smile anytime we made eye contact. I just really hate when people slack off. This job also reminded me how much I hate people. The dining hall gets so freakin busy, I'm carrying these crazy hot plates, my arms hurt, I'm getting sweaty, and people don't know how to get out of the way...I envisioned myself tossing them out of the way or tossing a plate at their heads. See what work does?!!
Then I left. I thought it was 9:40 and was like...I'm outta here. Got to my room. Mr.Clock reads: 8:41. I'm all: CRAP! Get back down for another 15 mins. Those minutes were actually quite pleasant.
Later in the night:
I had late night dinner and enjoyed a shake. Because I EARNED it. Damn striaght.
Special thanks to:
My parents for the package
and Miss Maris for the sugar cookies AND zoo plates.
Mom, you got some stiff competition. Everywhere you go, Miss Marie is two steps ahead.
Later on...
The person who is running the plates with me takes forever and keeps taking the light stuff-smaller plastic bowls. I was easily doing double the work she was and hid my hatred for her in a tight smile anytime we made eye contact. I just really hate when people slack off. This job also reminded me how much I hate people. The dining hall gets so freakin busy, I'm carrying these crazy hot plates, my arms hurt, I'm getting sweaty, and people don't know how to get out of the way...I envisioned myself tossing them out of the way or tossing a plate at their heads. See what work does?!!
Then I left. I thought it was 9:40 and was like...I'm outta here. Got to my room. Mr.Clock reads: 8:41. I'm all: CRAP! Get back down for another 15 mins. Those minutes were actually quite pleasant.
Later in the night:
I had late night dinner and enjoyed a shake. Because I EARNED it. Damn striaght.
Special thanks to:
My parents for the package
and Miss Maris for the sugar cookies AND zoo plates.
Mom, you got some stiff competition. Everywhere you go, Miss Marie is two steps ahead.
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
As Americans I know people want to forget the act that happened a year ago, but as human beings we must remember.
Recent News: My computer is void of Kazaa right now. It kinda messed up my computer at home so I'm alittle hesitant to download it. I wish there was some sort of super music man who could fly into my dorm room and take out his wand. A simple Tap would do the trick and my computer would be filled was a vast array of mad phat beats. Unfortunately Super Music Man is on vacation or something. Freakin' bum.
Recent News: My computer is void of Kazaa right now. It kinda messed up my computer at home so I'm alittle hesitant to download it. I wish there was some sort of super music man who could fly into my dorm room and take out his wand. A simple Tap would do the trick and my computer would be filled was a vast array of mad phat beats. Unfortunately Super Music Man is on vacation or something. Freakin' bum.
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Last night my buddy Ben and I had some fun thinking of brand spankin' new ways to say poopin. None of you should be surprise by this. Let's cut to the chase, here they are:
Planting a tree
Feeding the fish
DING! My muffins are ready
Putting icing on the cake - that one I found hilarious and brought myself to tears especially when Ben said That makes No sense.
Squeezing out some brown - not as inventive, i admit
Time to take out the garbage
Crankin out some chocolate
this one I didnt invent, Kiehl shared it with me, so I'm passing it on.
Gotta drop the kids off at the pool
Thats all for now.
Planting a tree
Feeding the fish
DING! My muffins are ready
Putting icing on the cake - that one I found hilarious and brought myself to tears especially when Ben said That makes No sense.
Squeezing out some brown - not as inventive, i admit
Time to take out the garbage
Crankin out some chocolate
this one I didnt invent, Kiehl shared it with me, so I'm passing it on.
Gotta drop the kids off at the pool
Thats all for now.
Sunday, September 08, 2002
Under my Farja's request I must update the site. So SORRY that I havent updated, how crazy of me to like be out and about (said very sarcastically with extra jazzy hand motions to emphasize)
Hmm whats new?
Oh I got something!
As many of you probably read, I am a Field Producer for a show. Now I know you must be asking yourself:
What does a feild producer do?
Good Question. I pondered that same eternal question and thankfully sudhanshu was there to answer. Obviously we take shots of open feilds like wheat or corn. And then occassionally we have some people run through in slow motion to romantic music. However, in this case, the woman isnt running after the man as he thinks. Instead, she is running after her hat that blew off in the wind. That pesky wind. Always picking on those poor helpless hats. When is someone gonna kick the winds ass?
Someday...
Hmm whats new?
Oh I got something!
As many of you probably read, I am a Field Producer for a show. Now I know you must be asking yourself:
What does a feild producer do?
Good Question. I pondered that same eternal question and thankfully sudhanshu was there to answer. Obviously we take shots of open feilds like wheat or corn. And then occassionally we have some people run through in slow motion to romantic music. However, in this case, the woman isnt running after the man as he thinks. Instead, she is running after her hat that blew off in the wind. That pesky wind. Always picking on those poor helpless hats. When is someone gonna kick the winds ass?
Someday...
Friday, September 06, 2002
Recent email made me want to post some of its contents. You have probably seen something like it before, but still...
Rejected Kid's Book Titles:
Robert: Dad's New Wife.
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share.
That's It, I'm Putting You up for Adoption.
Grandpa Gets a Casket.
Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear.
You Were an Accident.
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry.
Your Nightmares Are Real.
Kathy was So Bad that her Mom Stopped Loving Her.
If only they REALLY existed. I think I'd read the last one to my kid.
Rejected Kid's Book Titles:
Robert: Dad's New Wife.
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share.
That's It, I'm Putting You up for Adoption.
Grandpa Gets a Casket.
Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear.
You Were an Accident.
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry.
Your Nightmares Are Real.
Kathy was So Bad that her Mom Stopped Loving Her.
If only they REALLY existed. I think I'd read the last one to my kid.
Sometin bout College: They (my building friends) always ask where I get my catch phrases from. I recently taught them "like its my job" although they didnt want to say "like" because they thought it was being used in a way that shows low intelligence, so i revised it for them. I (insert verb) as if it is my job. That soon evolved to include shat. Soon after, and they rejoiced was added. Allow me to present the lastest catch phrase of the week:
He shat himself as if it was his job, and they rejoiced.
Oh AND I have the Phrase O the Week! Its back. It deals with poop. A wonderful and totally colleen way of introducing a new season of POW.
setting: Inside dorm room as we discuss different ways and saying of poop. Droppin a duece was mentioned, to name one. Then Sara spoke
What'd she say?
She said: My uncle likes to say Pinching One Off
Laughter came shortly there after.
I realise if people actually think too much about poop they become biased against it. Just put your immature kid helmet on and re-read the post. Its so much more enjoyable. Yaye Poop!
He shat himself as if it was his job, and they rejoiced.
Oh AND I have the Phrase O the Week! Its back. It deals with poop. A wonderful and totally colleen way of introducing a new season of POW.
setting: Inside dorm room as we discuss different ways and saying of poop. Droppin a duece was mentioned, to name one. Then Sara spoke
What'd she say?
She said: My uncle likes to say Pinching One Off
Laughter came shortly there after.
I realise if people actually think too much about poop they become biased against it. Just put your immature kid helmet on and re-read the post. Its so much more enjoyable. Yaye Poop!
Thursday, September 05, 2002
Miss Marie is famous now. I got three, count em, THREE card from her. Ms.Marie is a hardcore card sender. Watch out.
So last night I'm about to fall asleep and before I do I had the idea of me being part of 4 ICTV shows in my head because it's crazy to me. And all of a sudden my brain has a little convo with itself.
Right side: What did I write on those applications?
Left side: I vaguely remember something about cookies...
I loves ma cookies. Although I am more a fan of sugar cookies than the traditional chocolate chip ones. Oreos are good, I've always liked them. I remember this picture of myself when I was maybe a year old and I'm in my walker thing and I have oreo ALL over my face.
Nothing has changed.
So last night I'm about to fall asleep and before I do I had the idea of me being part of 4 ICTV shows in my head because it's crazy to me. And all of a sudden my brain has a little convo with itself.
Right side: What did I write on those applications?
Left side: I vaguely remember something about cookies...
I loves ma cookies. Although I am more a fan of sugar cookies than the traditional chocolate chip ones. Oreos are good, I've always liked them. I remember this picture of myself when I was maybe a year old and I'm in my walker thing and I have oreo ALL over my face.
Nothing has changed.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
The booted avenger:
Last night a new creature was made. After an innocent little girl stepped in some radioactive mud on the side of the road, her foot swelled and transformed her. She was no longer a college student. She now had a job. To kick the CRAP out of crime. One step at a time.
Oh snap it rhymes.
Dr.Suess in da house!
Last night a new creature was made. After an innocent little girl stepped in some radioactive mud on the side of the road, her foot swelled and transformed her. She was no longer a college student. She now had a job. To kick the CRAP out of crime. One step at a time.
Oh snap it rhymes.
Dr.Suess in da house!
Score! Last time the most annoying thing happened. I tried to post and it didnt let me, so I tried again and thought I was so smart when I copied it. I figured, hey, if it doesnt post again then I can surely copy and paste it from word. Only thing is...I get to word and I can't paste it. ((SHAKES FIST LIKE ITS MY JOB))
So my last post delt with me being a moron. It was mistaken identity. I thought this kid was someone that he wasnt, so I made a face at him when we made eye contact. Turns out it wasnt him. Cuz I stopped the kid I thought he was (Jesse) at a table behind me. Best thing was when I made the face, I was alone at the table cuz Sudhanshu went to get some ketchup. I wanted to go over to the kid and be all....YEAH! I'm crazy.
Even more awkward: I saw the kid again in my building lobby. He was playing monopoly. And guess what? They were all cursing at each other. What a wonderful way to destroy friendships. Got someone you dont EVER want to talk to agian, would you like a divorce? Play Monopoly. Works every time.
Flashback!!!
recent inside jokes with Liz:
1) Anyone who is your friend, punch them in the face
2) Hartwick college...pffff more like FARTwick
Current Events:
Last night I did some good ol' square dancing in the Ithaca Commons. It fun for the most part. Things that took away from the fun include bearded, shoeless, tie-dye wearing yippies spinning me like it was nobodys business. Then later on I broke it down. Doing the lawn mower, shopping cart, pencil shapener, the sprinkler, the ghetto arm fling that Dave could NEVER do right. So yeah I danced to the mad phat country tunes. And it was def country cuz I did it was a red truckers hat that just barely laid on my head. Kinda like the way my dad will wear it....but worse.
No offense to Dad. But I'm sure Mom would agree.
So my last post delt with me being a moron. It was mistaken identity. I thought this kid was someone that he wasnt, so I made a face at him when we made eye contact. Turns out it wasnt him. Cuz I stopped the kid I thought he was (Jesse) at a table behind me. Best thing was when I made the face, I was alone at the table cuz Sudhanshu went to get some ketchup. I wanted to go over to the kid and be all....YEAH! I'm crazy.
Even more awkward: I saw the kid again in my building lobby. He was playing monopoly. And guess what? They were all cursing at each other. What a wonderful way to destroy friendships. Got someone you dont EVER want to talk to agian, would you like a divorce? Play Monopoly. Works every time.
Flashback!!!
recent inside jokes with Liz:
1) Anyone who is your friend, punch them in the face
2) Hartwick college...pffff more like FARTwick
Current Events:
Last night I did some good ol' square dancing in the Ithaca Commons. It fun for the most part. Things that took away from the fun include bearded, shoeless, tie-dye wearing yippies spinning me like it was nobodys business. Then later on I broke it down. Doing the lawn mower, shopping cart, pencil shapener, the sprinkler, the ghetto arm fling that Dave could NEVER do right. So yeah I danced to the mad phat country tunes. And it was def country cuz I did it was a red truckers hat that just barely laid on my head. Kinda like the way my dad will wear it....but worse.
No offense to Dad. But I'm sure Mom would agree.
Sunday, September 01, 2002
Ca-razy
Road Tripped it up to see the one, the only, notorious L-I-Z. It was fun when the bus fair is 65 cents, can't be a dollar or even better FREE. No we have to be difficult and make you pay 65 cents and we dont give you change. Hey Oneonta, you SUCK!!! Thats right, I'm NEVER going there again. I can't believe liz can tolerate their ignorance of bus fees. God Bless her.
Oh they also have these house things. So weird.
It was def good to be around ppl with my sense of humor. Felt like home.
I hope I am ready for this jelly: It's time for me to vent. I have a lot of classes on mondays, I also got casted in this improv show that I want to do more than my classes and I'm afraid I wont be able to do it because I might have my film class. Then I'm also a field producer, a f-ing producer that means I'm in charge of stuff. Then I might do some writing for a latenight talk show, and I might get to be a co-host for an MTV-like show. I am like taking over the Ithaca College TV station, slowly and skillfully. Like a cat.
"You're a cat" - Nick Ray
Hopefully I'm not in over my head. The ICTV is something I really want to do well but I also need to do well in regular ol' college. The overachiever I am, I just hope I dont pass out. That would suck.
(deep breath)
(exhale)
The little people: Thanks to Ms.Marie for the card. It was nice to hear from my homies in Rouge. Word to the doobies.
ok thats all class, you may leave now.
Road Tripped it up to see the one, the only, notorious L-I-Z. It was fun when the bus fair is 65 cents, can't be a dollar or even better FREE. No we have to be difficult and make you pay 65 cents and we dont give you change. Hey Oneonta, you SUCK!!! Thats right, I'm NEVER going there again. I can't believe liz can tolerate their ignorance of bus fees. God Bless her.
Oh they also have these house things. So weird.
It was def good to be around ppl with my sense of humor. Felt like home.
I hope I am ready for this jelly: It's time for me to vent. I have a lot of classes on mondays, I also got casted in this improv show that I want to do more than my classes and I'm afraid I wont be able to do it because I might have my film class. Then I'm also a field producer, a f-ing producer that means I'm in charge of stuff. Then I might do some writing for a latenight talk show, and I might get to be a co-host for an MTV-like show. I am like taking over the Ithaca College TV station, slowly and skillfully. Like a cat.
"You're a cat" - Nick Ray
Hopefully I'm not in over my head. The ICTV is something I really want to do well but I also need to do well in regular ol' college. The overachiever I am, I just hope I dont pass out. That would suck.
(deep breath)
(exhale)
The little people: Thanks to Ms.Marie for the card. It was nice to hear from my homies in Rouge. Word to the doobies.
ok thats all class, you may leave now.
Thursday, August 29, 2002
To do list: teach people "fo' sheezy" and "like it's my job"-see below
Last night I went to this recruitment night for Ithaca College Tv (ICTV) and signed up to be crew/talent like its my J-O-B 10 shows total. Then today I is checking my email and lo and behold BAM 3 emails. 2 were for auditions and the other offered me the job of Field Producer for this movie review show called Trailer Park. I get to think of ideas of what to shoot I'm excited.
The fun dont stop there...I'm all la-di-da on the computer and WHAM! The phone rings. Naturally, I pick it up. It's this MTV-like show called Frequency calling me. They wanted to interview me for the job of Host, FREAKIN HOST for one of their shows!!!! See as a freshman I had some strikes against me for getting any offers so I wrote some crazy and amusing Colleenisms on the applications. ANd appearently it got some peoples attention. SCORE! So I have a meeting for this Frequecy show so they get to meet me and see if they want me. Watch out Carson Daly, Colleen in da hizzy.
Tomorrow I try out for this improv show after class, right before the Road Trip to the LIZDOME aka Oneonta. Its just tony, me and the road.
Wish me luck.
do it!
Ew, thats so rude
(gives "The Look")
Last night I went to this recruitment night for Ithaca College Tv (ICTV) and signed up to be crew/talent like its my J-O-B 10 shows total. Then today I is checking my email and lo and behold BAM 3 emails. 2 were for auditions and the other offered me the job of Field Producer for this movie review show called Trailer Park. I get to think of ideas of what to shoot I'm excited.
The fun dont stop there...I'm all la-di-da on the computer and WHAM! The phone rings. Naturally, I pick it up. It's this MTV-like show called Frequency calling me. They wanted to interview me for the job of Host, FREAKIN HOST for one of their shows!!!! See as a freshman I had some strikes against me for getting any offers so I wrote some crazy and amusing Colleenisms on the applications. ANd appearently it got some peoples attention. SCORE! So I have a meeting for this Frequecy show so they get to meet me and see if they want me. Watch out Carson Daly, Colleen in da hizzy.
Tomorrow I try out for this improv show after class, right before the Road Trip to the LIZDOME aka Oneonta. Its just tony, me and the road.
Wish me luck.
do it!
Ew, thats so rude
(gives "The Look")
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Sometin bout College: Its fun to go to the bano (spanish for bathroom) on my floor.
Why Colleen?
I'll tell you why Question Person, because there are fun brochures in the stall. For example, 'Your Pelvic Exam' and Tips about Mary-jane and Coke..if you know what i'm saying. I have to say the Pelvic exam is totally uncalled for in the stall. It doesnt make me want to go to the OBGYN aka HELL!!!
My pyschology teacher should be on that SNL sketch when they talk about how great Da Bears and Da Bulls are. He says hes from Buffalo but I know its a lie. Crazy accent man. Oh and he kept saying that his eight year old is a genius. He's home taught and he wants to teach him spanish. Now if I had a genius poking around at home all defenseless against the CIA I don't think I'd be bragging about how smart he is. I dont think Dan Dagen is aware of the BRAIN SUCK 2000. Yeah it sucks your brain and they use you for govt info to take over the world. That poor eight year old. Keep him in your prayers.
Why Colleen?
I'll tell you why Question Person, because there are fun brochures in the stall. For example, 'Your Pelvic Exam' and Tips about Mary-jane and Coke..if you know what i'm saying. I have to say the Pelvic exam is totally uncalled for in the stall. It doesnt make me want to go to the OBGYN aka HELL!!!
My pyschology teacher should be on that SNL sketch when they talk about how great Da Bears and Da Bulls are. He says hes from Buffalo but I know its a lie. Crazy accent man. Oh and he kept saying that his eight year old is a genius. He's home taught and he wants to teach him spanish. Now if I had a genius poking around at home all defenseless against the CIA I don't think I'd be bragging about how smart he is. I dont think Dan Dagen is aware of the BRAIN SUCK 2000. Yeah it sucks your brain and they use you for govt info to take over the world. That poor eight year old. Keep him in your prayers.
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
I didnt want to post this all together, cuz then you might not read it. ha ha I'm tricky.
I've developed a brand spankin' new segmet called...
Sometin bout College: My 1st college shower experience. Now I'm in the shower and I am like hey i'm gonna get clean by using my shower gel. So I put some o dat bad boy on that lather ball. Alas, no lather.
Colleen thinks: What the heck?!
I put some more on. Nothing happens
Colleen thinks: Is this like bum soap or something?
I finish the shower, go back to my room. As I put back the shampoo I look at the shower gel and notice it's HAIR gel, not shower gel.
Colleen thinks: wow, thats sad.
Then I checked my skin to make sure it wasnt gel-like. It wasnt.
I'm smart!
I've developed a brand spankin' new segmet called...
Sometin bout College: My 1st college shower experience. Now I'm in the shower and I am like hey i'm gonna get clean by using my shower gel. So I put some o dat bad boy on that lather ball. Alas, no lather.
Colleen thinks: What the heck?!
I put some more on. Nothing happens
Colleen thinks: Is this like bum soap or something?
I finish the shower, go back to my room. As I put back the shampoo I look at the shower gel and notice it's HAIR gel, not shower gel.
Colleen thinks: wow, thats sad.
Then I checked my skin to make sure it wasnt gel-like. It wasnt.
I'm smart!
It took awhile but alas...the internet is now hooked up to my compooder. I'm in college. Hurray for Ithaca! Each day gets cooler. Listen to dis!
Sharing is Caring: Last night my building in which I live called Terrace 2, aka Good Ol' Terrace 2, was having a nice friendly game o Uno. Now i'm in this program called HOME that deals with multi-cultural stuff. So i met some kids from India, Afganistan, and Hungry
The kid from India is hilarious. His name is Sudhanshu. I wish I had a cool foreign name. Anyhoo..I taught him some LI slang straight from my world.
LI Slang: mo-fo, bihotch, oh snap, uh-oh skettios, rats, Oh F
Now I didnt entitle this Sharing is Caring for no reason, I learned some curses in Hungarian. For instance, Orespu is the B word. Suktir is F Off. So anytime someone slapped a Wild Draw Four card down they were called an Orespu...for obvious reasons.
Sharing is Caring: Last night my building in which I live called Terrace 2, aka Good Ol' Terrace 2, was having a nice friendly game o Uno. Now i'm in this program called HOME that deals with multi-cultural stuff. So i met some kids from India, Afganistan, and Hungry
The kid from India is hilarious. His name is Sudhanshu. I wish I had a cool foreign name. Anyhoo..I taught him some LI slang straight from my world.
LI Slang: mo-fo, bihotch, oh snap, uh-oh skettios, rats, Oh F
Now I didnt entitle this Sharing is Caring for no reason, I learned some curses in Hungarian. For instance, Orespu is the B word. Suktir is F Off. So anytime someone slapped a Wild Draw Four card down they were called an Orespu...for obvious reasons.
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