Today I got some feedback to the post made on 4/9. Appearently the following line troubled the mind of one Elizabeth Mary Rivalsi: You know, if I did become a boy I wonder which side I would tend to keep my "package" on. Left or right?

We here at Kickin' it Oldschool would like to apologize to her and all those offended by boy junk. But hey its not my fault cuz I have a gine.

Seeing that I am a senior I will be attending the Senior Trip to D.C. I expect fun and good times to be had by all. Knowing that I will not be around this weekend I will give you the Phrase O the Week. This weeks goes to Tony. He said it about 10 minutes ago while breaking into his house. He managed to lock himself outside his house and had to go in threw a window. Unfortunately the only window open had a dresser blocking half of it so he had to squeeze inside. Once inside he had this to say about the experience:

It's like being born.

Congratulations its a boy! I also have an extra special treat for you guys. There was a Song and Dance O the Week performed by Mr. Jesse Goldman and myself. This MASTER PIECE was born in our video class. Jesse kept crossing his feet to each side and on the spot I came up with a beautiful song to go with it. It goes a lil something like a-dis:

It's so pretty
It's so pretty
It's so pretty
I love it

Even if you see it, I bet you still will have no idea what's going on. Don't worry. It's ok to be confused. And speaking of confused you bet I will be totally out of it tomorrow when I have to be at the school at 4am for the trip. I'm telling you right now, if anyone is awake on my bus and being a total jackass, I WILL kill them. Don't even go out searching for the murderer, it will be me. No one talks...or else! (narrows eyes and slowly beats hand with fist)

Now I'm off to pack. Happy weekend to all, and to all a good night...

Mad-Phat Beat: Sugar Ray-Live and Direct

(Leans in and whispers) Hey uh..check this out: http://members.aol.com/johnk0/godkills.jpg

It will make you think...sorta

Did you know?:

Oysters can change from one gender to another and back again.

It's too bad I can't do that. I wonder what kind of boy I would be. Would I be hot? or cold? Would I be able to regulate my body temperature or would it fluckuate...did i spell that right? I bet not. Maybe if I were a boy I could spell words right. You know, if I did become a boy I wonder which side I would tend to keep my "package" on. Left or right? I think i'd be a right kinda person.
Oh boy junk...

A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day....in bed (giggles)

I apologize to all those who are fans of the Oldschool and like to kick it. I tried to write my Phrase o the Week yesterday but Mr.Server was just "too busy" for me. Whatever! He always makes time for everybody else. I think he doesnt know how to love me...

Anyway Last weeks Phrase O the Week is brought to you by the comedic genius that is Conan O'Brien. While doing his skit of In The Year 2000..(no it wasnt a rerun, he still does it now) he often takes a glimpse of what the future holds. This is one of the things he had to say:

Instead of saying 'Thank you' when someone tells you that you have something in your teeth, the new response will be: 'I can't believe I ate all those old people.'

Thank you Conan. We all need alittle old people in our diet. They are high in fiber.

A song for you: Hanging 'round by Counting Crows..oh they be hanging 'round

Todays Longest Website Address goes to...
(Drum roll)

Mapquest!!
(hardcore Mapquest fans cheer and huge each other in victory)

Here it is:
http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&ct=NA&1ah=&1a=9+elm+st.&1p=&1c=Lake+Grove&1s=NY&1z=11775&1y=US&2ah=hrpu3pOULp306kwc3WYPJgtEjbEyetVNTNmR%252fxTO%252fCnpc4z6UdZk9Pyf7lNdbiTxV311LTnIEi5W%252b%252b3BC2NvRg%253d%253d&2a=74+Glen+Summer+Rd&2p=&2c=Holbrook&2s=NY&2z=11741&2y=US&lr=2&x=33&y=16

Its simply beautiful...

A conversation for all the Mr.T lovers out there:

ISmellNY: Mr. T is so threatening.
ISmellNY: I wish he wasn't so T'ish
Lactaid Lady: wha?
Lactaid Lady: you crazy
ISmellNY: Your icon thingy.
ISmellNY: It's givin me the crreeeeep
ISmellNY: (s
ISmellNY: _
ISmellNY: )
Lactaid Lady: i know you are talkin bout my icon
Lactaid Lady: but its all jibba jabba
Lactaid Lady: i pity da foo that dont like T
ISmellNY: I pity da fool dat like Col.
Lactaid Lady: oh no you didnt...
Lactaid Lady: T dont like that
ISmellNY: T don't like this either.
Lactaid Lady: nope
ISmellNY: *punches Col in the mouth*
Lactaid Lady: You=dead
ISmellNY: Me=God's Son
Lactaid Lady: (checks with god) Nope
Lactaid Lady: he says you aint nut-ting
ISmellNY: Awwwwwwwww shit.
ISmellNY: It's on now!
Lactaid Lady: bring it!
ISmellNY: *Punches col in the shouler and kicks her in the thigh*
Lactaid Lady: you cant hurt me
Lactaid Lady: (col grows into the incredible hulk)
Lactaid Lady: (growls)
Lactaid Lady: ROAAAR!
ISmellNY: AHhhhhhhhh
ISmellNY: *runs*
ISmellNY signed off at 7:46:18 PM.
Lactaid Lady: ya damn right

For awhile I've been building this sandcastle. My own little kingdom. But this week an obnoxious bully keeps showing up. Continually knocking it down. Til all that's left is a pile of sand. You know how he reacts? He smiles and laughs at my misfortune. A gleam in his eye as he does it.

Just STOP god damn it! KNOCK IT OFF!

I just want to build a sandcastle. Tears of frustration. My efforts go to waste. Constant destruction of my dream. My life.
A pile of sand.

At least I have sand.

Come with me to a journey around...Question Corner!

Would you rather be a prostitute or a nun?
My answer: nun
Reason: I wouldnt be able to deal with having multiple partners in return for money. I'd feel skeevy

Who would you rather "do," Jay Leno or Dave Letterman?
My answer: Letterman
Reason: Well its mainly because I find him funnier and that he's from NY...otherwise the thought of it is pretty gross

Which would you chose: a bitter genie OR a cheese sandwich?
My answer: Cheese sandwich
Reason: Uhh...cheese RULES!

What's more awkward: walking in on someone in the bathroom OR giving an old person a sponge bath?
My answer: sponge bath
Reason: well, there are many. First of all I dont want to even go near the old genitalia. Second, there is a better chance to have eye contact more than once. Third, what if the old person has no shame...((Shiver))

Now that you are all disturbed at the thought of an old person naked in a tub of water...I will leave you.

Honesty time!!
Senior year is like an oxymoron. The beginning is so much fun. Then college rears its ugly head. We freak out. For me it's like I've been in this long hallway with a nice red door at the end that says College. You start to walk down this hallway once school begins. You pass kindergarden. Elementary school. Junior High...oh awkwardness. Then your a freshman. Oh the seniors are so cool! No, they just don't care. They act obnoxious cuz they can. They are leaving. So why care? All of a sudden this HUGE red door is right in my face. But there is black hole posted on the wall beside it. Like the ones cartoons use to escape. Escape. Escape reality. Cmon. Jump inside. So many fall apart at the end of this hallway. I look. I see it. I sigh and shake my head. What are you doing? I just look ahead. The knob is shiny and gold. I grab it. Turn...

Ben Folds Five = Good time Music

hmmm...dis what I'm tinkin' bout:

1. I need a hair cut soon. Will you do it?
2. I need to get a job. Would you hire me?
3. Holy Crap I'm actually going to california. Bonus: with my 2 best friends!
4. Aretha Franklin can really bring the house down
5. It's nice outside; I'll probably stay indoors with Mr.Television
6. (points finger up) To the Shower!!

Question O the Day:
Would you rather own a UFO or a Nimbus 2001 (for those who dont read Harry Potter, it's the brooms they fly on)?

Note: The last post deals with something that upset me, hence some of the irrational thoughts mentioned in my poem. It was pure emotion and it was how I felt/feel. Hopefully people don't take offense to it and realize it was a way of venting my reaction.

Plus: Did you know that I slept with Britney Spears and we're in love, lesbian love. We're going to adopt a baby!

Reality Check: April Fools!! Oh Man, you SO believe that was true!

"Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world, I feel I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in."
---Ricky Fitts from American Beauty

Last night I had a lot of fun. Thank you to all the people who are my friends. I love you guys. But last night was also filled with a disheartening discovery. I didn't even see the scene, I wasnt ment to. I hear a voice that sounded like Liz tell me "Col...Dan" and I didnt want to follow them all onto the beach. I already knew. So I stood there alone in the cold. Disappointed. Annoyed. Confused.

Sad

Liz later told me that she didnt say anything to me. Someone didn't want me to see it, so I thank that guardian angel. But afterwards I kept thinging: So this is what it's come to. Yes, I know people change. Yes, I realize now there will only be a handful of people I will keep in touch with. But No, I dont understand you Dan. I'm starting to wonder if it was all a lie. That you played the part you needed to and now you moved on. I don't know the truth. The whole thing makes me want to cry. If you read this. This is for you:

The Great Actor

The great actor fooled us all
Vanishing line
Fact or Fiction
I thought you cared
Tricked me
Was it deception,
of the ugliest kind?

Lover of lies
Fake
Trained smile and charm
Did you really mean it,
or was it all for show?
When did your endurance faulter?
Was I attracted to a character?
Was it all make believe?
Is it possible,
that this monster is really you
Maybe I just never saw it
A gradual decay

Your complicated mind consumed you
But you barely put up a fight
Pick a personality
Even you belived the lies

Disappointment and Violation
Naive little me was dooped
The cover was perfect
The pages were blank

What a performance!
Congradulations,
You've won your Oscar
On to the next role
Don't worry
I'll be fine
No matter who you become
I'll always remember
The Great Actor...you were

Oh kids gather 'round, it's time for the PHRASE O THE WEEK!!

This week's phrase is brought to you by Jesse Goldman, aka J-Go! (not many know this but he's actually related to J-Lo! He helped her with her remix cd. Is there anything he can't do?!) So this phrase escaped Jesse's lips just after having participated in a mosh pit compliments of the artistic talents of The Realistics. He did have a nice oldschool pair of cop sunglasses in his pocket before he entered, but once he exited they were found on the floor; battered and missing a lense. He decided to still wear them and once he bent them back to fit his face he shouted:

Out of da way! I AM DA COOLEST!

And indeed, he was the "coolest" one there.

Funny thing about mosh pits is the unexpected politeness you find. People flail their arms and legs around with the goal of knocking into you, thus causing many bumps and bruises. But once someone falls down, they rush to pick you up and ask if you're ok. Then the choas continues. Amazing ting I tell ya, amazing...

Phantom Planet RULES!

"You're old enough now to learn the most important lesson in life. You can not count on anyone except yourself. You know, it's sad but true. And the sooner you learn it the better."
---Carolyn Burnham from American Beauty

It's been awhile but Random Dictionary Word is back! (aka Dictionary Tiempo)

Todays word is brought to you by Shopping Cart.
For the Homeless Man on the go

nevus: (plural-nevi) a unusally pigmented birthmark (i.e.- When his nevus actually starting talking to me, I had a feeling this wasn't your ordinary birthmark.)

Things that are Cool:
1. Vacations
2. No homework
3. Root Beer Floats
4. Passover Meals (Yeah Jesse!!)
5. Skippin' Rocks

American Beauty + Convo with Holly at 2 am = Amazing Ideas

I had no idea that we have all of next week off. I thought it was only til Monday...but oh no I was terribly wrong. Imagine I actually went to get up at 615 on monday because the whole world thought I knew but I didnt. And I drive to school and no one is in the parking lot and I think that I made them all disappear like in Home Alone. And then I get chased by a Trex like in Jurassic Park. And then I get attacked by a shark like in Jaws. And then I get abducted by aliens like in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. And then I go into their mother ship and upload a virus so their shields are down and the humans destroy them so they cant take over the world like in Independence Day. And then I get a life like in uh...(mumbles under breath and walks away)

Thesaurus Time!
Another word for poverty is: inpecuniousness. Now to use it in sentence form...
When he took me for a ride in his "car" aka a shopping cart, I knew he was in a state of inpecuniousness.

I like how the weather is so consistant now. Yeah it makes sense that it was crazy warm in the winter, and now its freakin freezing when its spring. I'm telling you man, Mother Nature is losing her mind. Ever since Jack Frost left her she has been doing some heavy drinking. At first she would just have a couple with the "girls" but now she is going home early from work to drink all alone and cry as she watches Soups in her jammies. I never knew you could stoop so low. I feel really bad for her, I do. But she needs to get her act together before she takes us all down with her. Next thing you know it will start to snow in June. The will come the sulfer rain, then naturally the end of the world as we know it will follow.

See kids, thats what happens when you bask your sorrows in alkie-hall. 'Tis a shame...She was So good at what she did.

Time for some FUN! And it comes in the form of General Food Bashing:
1. Beans fart ALL the time
2. Coffee doesn't shower
3. Apples are nasty
4. Egg is a total drunk
5. Dirtbag=Crackers

The comment that started the following rant/idea comes from the mouth of Piampiano. During lunch we were discussing people of low intelligence and how that gets them anywhere in life. So Pimp asks to herself (as to create a situation): What do you want to do when you get older?
To which she replies in a higher tone of voice: I want to be stuu-pid.

Now from this spawned the idea of Stupid University. Here you can acheive any rank of stupidity. Start off will Moronology, move on to Idiotism, then study the Putz Therom, and finally a masters degree will get you to the highest rank: Schmuckery. You can study abroad in Europe. And if you are stupid enough you can try for our Tootsie Roll, much like the honor roll or honors programs except this time the stupider you are, the more candy you get. It's quite the college.

So if people are constantly saying what a moron, idiot, putz, or schmuck you are...Why not make it your life? You're obviously good at it. Come to Stupid University to be eternally stupid. As Forest Gump says, "stupid is what stupid does."

I listen to this song a lot: Losing Lisa by Bens Fold Five (thanks liz!)
*Speaking O Liz....You go with that busted up knee. It might hurt but the limp is totally worth it.