So the first annual Get To Know Your Boss Better Day was a total disaster. Appearently our boss "was confused" and in a fit or rage he ripped down all of our signs and threatened to fire ppl. Hopefully next year will be better.
Quote of the week:
If I was rich, I'd buy a crappy car to hit stupid people.
-Katie Woz
She got kinda mad when people were cutting the line to exit jones beach. But even if she wasnt angry I bet she'd say the same thing. Hey, I would do it too. I cant stand stupid people. They should be tossed off the end of the earth, along with ppl who walk slow.
As we were coming home from the concert which was really great, a Pathmark truck cut us off and liz said: I'm never going there again.
So I want all of you to boycott Pathmark bc their truck drivers are crazy mo-fos.
Lack of updates is due to beach house fun. The first night was great I spent some quality time with the fam. Played King of the Raft which I totally won everytime cuz it was against my brother who is skinny and his friend franky who is short. But once I play with someone bigger than me...I think I'll lose my reign.
Oh and Frankie threw up. Then before I was about to shower he very seriously comes up to me and says: Oh, Colleen..uh, there is still some vomit on the bowl. "on the bowl" what a great line. He projected that stuff, had a splatter pattern on the wall. And he also told me that after he threw up there was a piece of chicken from dinner still on the bowl. Naturally, I was JEALOUS!
In addition: My mom is a selfish DirtBag and will admit to this too. She's proud of it. Freaking dirtbag.
Monday, August 19, 2002
Friday, August 16, 2002
Driving around in my automobile: Today while driving on the VERY crowded Portion Road I saw this woman who had part of her skirt hanging out of her door. It made me giggle.
Plus: I got an idea for custom made horn noises. Mine would be a fart. A farting car horn. Its genius.
I go to Jones Beach in about an hour and a half.
Oh and dont fordet.
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
Make your way over to Ralph's FAMOUS Italian Ices for
Get To Know Your Boss Better Day.
plus its my last day and I want a BILLION dollars in tips from you.
Plus: I got an idea for custom made horn noises. Mine would be a fart. A farting car horn. Its genius.
I go to Jones Beach in about an hour and a half.
Oh and dont fordet.
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
Make your way over to Ralph's FAMOUS Italian Ices for
Get To Know Your Boss Better Day.
plus its my last day and I want a BILLION dollars in tips from you.
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Last night I watched Ghost for the first time. Some consider that a crime.
In my late night movie watching mood that I currently find myself in, I watched and pretended I was demi moores character for a moment and silent tears poured down my face.
That movie made me want to act.
I miss my improv class.
I could be anyone. And it felt so good.
In other news: Last night I saw a little bit of cops and this po-po kept telling the guy who was under arrest that his dog would bite him. I think the guy lives alone and talks to his dog. Its just not normal to be THAT insistant that your dog WILL bite someone. Ma dawg!
In my late night movie watching mood that I currently find myself in, I watched and pretended I was demi moores character for a moment and silent tears poured down my face.
That movie made me want to act.
I miss my improv class.
I could be anyone. And it felt so good.
In other news: Last night I saw a little bit of cops and this po-po kept telling the guy who was under arrest that his dog would bite him. I think the guy lives alone and talks to his dog. Its just not normal to be THAT insistant that your dog WILL bite someone. Ma dawg!
I read a new website today. One thats been around most of the year and I never knew about. I read it now and its amazing. Most of the things I am aware of and others I had no idea. I'm sorry.
I wish I knew more.
I wish I wasnt stuck in the Colleen Mold all the time. Like I have to be this stereotype that only exists in my head.
I wish I could cry in front of you.
I wish I was a better person.
I wish I was always there for you.
I wish too much.
I'm a WIP
Work
In
Progress
you know, i love you.
I wish I knew more.
I wish I wasnt stuck in the Colleen Mold all the time. Like I have to be this stereotype that only exists in my head.
I wish I could cry in front of you.
I wish I was a better person.
I wish I was always there for you.
I wish too much.
I'm a WIP
Work
In
Progress
you know, i love you.
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
Yeah so I saw Alan Rickman on Sunday.
What's up now?!
If you dont know who he is it's ok. I just wont talk to you anymore you. How do you like them apples?
Anyhoo I had some weird dream and the po-po were in it. Appearently I was part of this group of kids who played this big joke at waldbaums - I think, it was either there or the school. And then someone called the fuzz on us but they didnt know who pulled the prank so we evaded them. But at one point I was almost caught. Oh and it was raining. I dunno what the deal is with that? When does it EVER rain.
note: po-po and fuzz are slang words for police
There's NO time! AHHH
I feel like summer is running out of time too soon and I cant do all the things I was hoping for. RATS!
PLUS: Freakin' Kazaa doesn't work anymore on my computer so I deleted it and now have to download something new. How annoying is that? I bet those commies are behind this.
What's up now?!
If you dont know who he is it's ok. I just wont talk to you anymore you. How do you like them apples?
Anyhoo I had some weird dream and the po-po were in it. Appearently I was part of this group of kids who played this big joke at waldbaums - I think, it was either there or the school. And then someone called the fuzz on us but they didnt know who pulled the prank so we evaded them. But at one point I was almost caught. Oh and it was raining. I dunno what the deal is with that? When does it EVER rain.
note: po-po and fuzz are slang words for police
There's NO time! AHHH
I feel like summer is running out of time too soon and I cant do all the things I was hoping for. RATS!
PLUS: Freakin' Kazaa doesn't work anymore on my computer so I deleted it and now have to download something new. How annoying is that? I bet those commies are behind this.
Saturday, August 10, 2002
Oh you must be Mr. I dont like to go over 30 on Hawkins ave.
Hi. I'm Colleen. Can I punch you in the face?
You failed. You failed like a fat person trying to wear a skinny persons clothes.
-Merry
I think that could catch on and soon everyone will say that to each other when they fail at something, like...oh I dunno. LIFE! It'll make people feel really good about themselves and I bet the suicide rate will go down.
Also a strange phenomenon, the release of methane gas from the human body unbeknownst to the human being while laughing. Yeah it happened twice. That means more than once. Two to different personas.
The last sentence was made to confuse you.
[giggles]
I set up my new computer today and when it came to naming it, I paused. I needed the right name. Five minutes later, Mr. Compooder was born. Merry said she is going to name hers Skip. I told her that sucked. She said that Skip was gonna kick Mr.Compooder in the nut ball. As you can clearly see, Merry is a jerk.
Hi. I'm Colleen. Can I punch you in the face?
You failed. You failed like a fat person trying to wear a skinny persons clothes.
-Merry
I think that could catch on and soon everyone will say that to each other when they fail at something, like...oh I dunno. LIFE! It'll make people feel really good about themselves and I bet the suicide rate will go down.
Also a strange phenomenon, the release of methane gas from the human body unbeknownst to the human being while laughing. Yeah it happened twice. That means more than once. Two to different personas.
The last sentence was made to confuse you.
[giggles]
I set up my new computer today and when it came to naming it, I paused. I needed the right name. Five minutes later, Mr. Compooder was born. Merry said she is going to name hers Skip. I told her that sucked. She said that Skip was gonna kick Mr.Compooder in the nut ball. As you can clearly see, Merry is a jerk.
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
I need to say this.
Those Buddy Lee commercial suck.
They suck a lot.
It's just jean that your selling! Just show the jeans all nice like and say the motto and be done with it.
stupid jeans. Who makes those anyway? Cuz whoever does, isnt good at it cuz when was the last time you found a pair that actually fit you? Hmmm. Never! They are made for no one, in the invisible factory down town. I hate them. They make me feel uggie. But mama says I aint. I love mama.
Those Buddy Lee commercial suck.
They suck a lot.
It's just jean that your selling! Just show the jeans all nice like and say the motto and be done with it.
stupid jeans. Who makes those anyway? Cuz whoever does, isnt good at it cuz when was the last time you found a pair that actually fit you? Hmmm. Never! They are made for no one, in the invisible factory down town. I hate them. They make me feel uggie. But mama says I aint. I love mama.
Now, you might be asking yourself:
Hey how come there isnt really any phrase o the week anymore on Colleen Evanson's AWESOME website entitled Kickin' It Oldschool?
I'll tell you sometin. Since it's the summer, I no longer have to go on a real schedual of events so basically each day just kinda blends into the next. Today is Thursday though, I'll tell you that. And people say funny things still. But I just dont remember like I used to. Everything is...blurry. And there is this weird pain shooting down my left arrmmmmmmm
[silence]
Hey how come there isnt really any phrase o the week anymore on Colleen Evanson's AWESOME website entitled Kickin' It Oldschool?
I'll tell you sometin. Since it's the summer, I no longer have to go on a real schedual of events so basically each day just kinda blends into the next. Today is Thursday though, I'll tell you that. And people say funny things still. But I just dont remember like I used to. Everything is...blurry. And there is this weird pain shooting down my left arrmmmmmmm
[silence]
Monday, August 05, 2002
Burn her she's a witch!: Thats right everyone, Liz Rivalsi is a witch! She told me in the car. Unfortunately her only power is to make everything shrink. How do I know this? Because she borrowed my sweatshirt tonight and when I got it back, I swear it shrunk! Everything she touches shrinks. She needs other ppl to feed her cuz as she said:
Oh chocolate...(touches it and it shrinks) ...oh man.
Tis a shame. I kinda feel bad for her. But not really cuz she is always putting a spell on me. And we all know how much I HATE spells. Things itch like crazy.
Oh chocolate...(touches it and it shrinks) ...oh man.
Tis a shame. I kinda feel bad for her. But not really cuz she is always putting a spell on me. And we all know how much I HATE spells. Things itch like crazy.
Sunday, August 04, 2002
There's a rumble in my tumble.
I think I had some bad T-bell cuz there are some gurrrrrrgles errupting from the tum-tum. And I'm burping more than normal. Those crazy tums helped a bit, easing the pain. It's a shame cuz I really like T-bell so this aint gonna stop me from doin it again. And again. Again.
Then what happens? What if the next taco has a bomb in it? eh, I'll eat it anyway and then I'll hope being lactose intolerant will diffuse the bomb.
Man I should be a spy. They need more bomb eaters out there.
I think I had some bad T-bell cuz there are some gurrrrrrgles errupting from the tum-tum. And I'm burping more than normal. Those crazy tums helped a bit, easing the pain. It's a shame cuz I really like T-bell so this aint gonna stop me from doin it again. And again. Again.
Then what happens? What if the next taco has a bomb in it? eh, I'll eat it anyway and then I'll hope being lactose intolerant will diffuse the bomb.
Man I should be a spy. They need more bomb eaters out there.
Friday, August 02, 2002
Lactaid Lady: what would you do if i turned into an old chinese man
FJive45: uhhh
FJive45: buy new clothes
I wonder what she would buy. Perhaps a nice pair of jeans, or cargo pants. I bet Old Navy is having a sale. If I owned Old Navy I would sell all the clothes and and replace them with cake. Cake clothes. They'd be yummy. People would NEVER be hungy. But you know eventually someone is gonna screw up when they are making the cake clothes and then there is a hang nail in it and someone chokes and the health department is then breathing down my neck and then I have to buy back all the regular clothes...millions are out of a job. All because of a damn hang nail. What a shame. I guess I'll just have to be a vet instead because I loves me some ammitables!
I saw the movie signs. wow what a crazy movie. at one point the suspense was too much for Merry and I to handle, so we held hands. But this was no ordinary hand holding. This was a grip of fear. It lasted about 15 mins and then I couldnt feel my hand anymore and Merry got a cramp, thank God the suspense was over or we prob would have molded to each other.
I always wanted a siamese twin. [sigh]
FJive45: uhhh
FJive45: buy new clothes
I wonder what she would buy. Perhaps a nice pair of jeans, or cargo pants. I bet Old Navy is having a sale. If I owned Old Navy I would sell all the clothes and and replace them with cake. Cake clothes. They'd be yummy. People would NEVER be hungy. But you know eventually someone is gonna screw up when they are making the cake clothes and then there is a hang nail in it and someone chokes and the health department is then breathing down my neck and then I have to buy back all the regular clothes...millions are out of a job. All because of a damn hang nail. What a shame. I guess I'll just have to be a vet instead because I loves me some ammitables!
I saw the movie signs. wow what a crazy movie. at one point the suspense was too much for Merry and I to handle, so we held hands. But this was no ordinary hand holding. This was a grip of fear. It lasted about 15 mins and then I couldnt feel my hand anymore and Merry got a cramp, thank God the suspense was over or we prob would have molded to each other.
I always wanted a siamese twin. [sigh]
Wednesday, July 31, 2002
The days series of events went as follows:
-wakey wakey
-Jon's hizzy and Notorious BIG
- lobstaaah!
- Austin Powers
-Wakey Wakey: I woke up. Duh, I basically flat out told you in the title. freakin' moron
-Jon's hizzy..: So I got to Jon's hizzy where the mac daddy's are all chizillin (like villians), and after Pimp Master Dave left..the remaining gangstazz decided wez a gonna go in da pool. The gangstazz were Jon, Tony, Jesse, and myself. And we start free stylin' to da rhyme of BIG. And did you know....he says, "I Eat Cat" and I KNOW this is true cuz Jesse told us and Jesse is the reincarnation of BIG so he would know. That's right, sir. Biggy didnt die, he just became a skinny white kid in suburbia. AKA low profile.
It doesnt end there. Jesse and I talked like Snoop Dog on the rizzide hizzome. Das right. Fizzy in this hizzy. And if you want to talk about soda being fizzy then you say, "yo, dis soda be izzy fizzy"...drop the "f" off the first fizzy. It's simple grammar.
-I had lobster of the 1st time today. Muy bien. Our waitress at first was rude to Pat Shiel and then turned nice. She over hear us talking about if you would sacrifice some random persons life in order for you to gain happiness. And she said she'd kill them. Would you?
-Austin Powers: freakin' great. Go see it, just for the beginning even if you hate austin powers. Do it. Or else I'll spread all those nasty rumors about you!
(GASP!)
-wakey wakey
-Jon's hizzy and Notorious BIG
- lobstaaah!
- Austin Powers
-Wakey Wakey: I woke up. Duh, I basically flat out told you in the title. freakin' moron
-Jon's hizzy..: So I got to Jon's hizzy where the mac daddy's are all chizillin (like villians), and after Pimp Master Dave left..the remaining gangstazz decided wez a gonna go in da pool. The gangstazz were Jon, Tony, Jesse, and myself. And we start free stylin' to da rhyme of BIG. And did you know....he says, "I Eat Cat" and I KNOW this is true cuz Jesse told us and Jesse is the reincarnation of BIG so he would know. That's right, sir. Biggy didnt die, he just became a skinny white kid in suburbia. AKA low profile.
It doesnt end there. Jesse and I talked like Snoop Dog on the rizzide hizzome. Das right. Fizzy in this hizzy. And if you want to talk about soda being fizzy then you say, "yo, dis soda be izzy fizzy"...drop the "f" off the first fizzy. It's simple grammar.
-I had lobster of the 1st time today. Muy bien. Our waitress at first was rude to Pat Shiel and then turned nice. She over hear us talking about if you would sacrifice some random persons life in order for you to gain happiness. And she said she'd kill them. Would you?
-Austin Powers: freakin' great. Go see it, just for the beginning even if you hate austin powers. Do it. Or else I'll spread all those nasty rumors about you!
(GASP!)
Monday, July 29, 2002
Check it out...New saying.
Isn't it cute?! I recently told Liz that I am SO sweet I think I'm made of candies.
A revolutionary candy. It'll be called rev-Oh-ution. The "Oh" is for the reaction you will have. A reaction of greatness. You will love its taste and question your life. You will quit your job and work for my candy factory. The candy factory will eventually take over the world as I create a candy race. Taffy people. The future is bright.
Oh it's so Bridy!
Isn't it cute?! I recently told Liz that I am SO sweet I think I'm made of candies.
A revolutionary candy. It'll be called rev-Oh-ution. The "Oh" is for the reaction you will have. A reaction of greatness. You will love its taste and question your life. You will quit your job and work for my candy factory. The candy factory will eventually take over the world as I create a candy race. Taffy people. The future is bright.
Oh it's so Bridy!
Sunday, July 28, 2002
Hark!: say...what's that noise? I know! It's thunder. boo-yah.
Boy it's cold: Today I had to go into the storage fridge at work, or what I like to call...The North Pole, and I was looking for an ice. Not just any ice, but an ice buried in the frozen tundra. So I'm looking and I'm all cold n such. Then I realize, hey my nose hairs are frozen. That's right it was so cold my nose hair froze. It was pretty scary. Needless to say I got out of that situation pretty quick.
Me and TV have a love hate relationship
I love it for the world is shows me
and I hate that the world doesnt exist.
[shakes fist!]
I'm thinking of a motto change. I'll tell you when I change it. Look forward to that tomorrow. It's be the BEST thing you see all day. Guaranteed. Or your money back.
...although you never gave me money for anything. Wait, I'm doing this crap for free? What the F?! This is all Ziggy's fault. You know why? Cuz his comic strip is NEVER funny. Ever.
that is all.
Boy it's cold: Today I had to go into the storage fridge at work, or what I like to call...The North Pole, and I was looking for an ice. Not just any ice, but an ice buried in the frozen tundra. So I'm looking and I'm all cold n such. Then I realize, hey my nose hairs are frozen. That's right it was so cold my nose hair froze. It was pretty scary. Needless to say I got out of that situation pretty quick.
Me and TV have a love hate relationship
I love it for the world is shows me
and I hate that the world doesnt exist.
[shakes fist!]
I'm thinking of a motto change. I'll tell you when I change it. Look forward to that tomorrow. It's be the BEST thing you see all day. Guaranteed. Or your money back.
...although you never gave me money for anything. Wait, I'm doing this crap for free? What the F?! This is all Ziggy's fault. You know why? Cuz his comic strip is NEVER funny. Ever.
that is all.
Friday, July 26, 2002
If I were reincarnated into a fruit I think I'd be... a banana. It goes with lots of foods. It's yella. Grows on a cool tree. And monkeys eat it. Yeah monkeys!
Mike Myers IS Austin Powers IN Goldmember WHICH WAS soldout. Rats! Stupid summer that allows other people to go see movies at 12:30. People ruin everything. For instance nature. What have we done for her? I'll tell you what. We've taken a GIANT dump on her carpet and blamed it on the dog. And guess what? She doesnt even HAVE a dog. It'll be fun to see how our great great great grandkids will survive. I bet they'll lose. Mother Nature...more like mother-fer!
oh snap
I hope I didnt offend Mother Nature. I was only kidding. It's my job. Gotta pay dem bills or the man will disconnect ma phone.
This is what happens when you can't go sleepies. You ramble. My rambling is semi-coherent. At least I think so.
Examples of Sarcasm:
hey col
-Yes child?
let's say that hypothetically this old lady is walking near me and she keeps farting and it smells like old beef. What should I say?
-Ask her to continue to fart cuz it smells REAL good.
*this has been an example of sarcasm*
Paid for by the word pedagogic
-Hey, doesnt that mean educational?
You bet! Wow your smart. (mumbles under breath) dumbass..
-I heard that.
Mike Myers IS Austin Powers IN Goldmember WHICH WAS soldout. Rats! Stupid summer that allows other people to go see movies at 12:30. People ruin everything. For instance nature. What have we done for her? I'll tell you what. We've taken a GIANT dump on her carpet and blamed it on the dog. And guess what? She doesnt even HAVE a dog. It'll be fun to see how our great great great grandkids will survive. I bet they'll lose. Mother Nature...more like mother-fer!
oh snap
I hope I didnt offend Mother Nature. I was only kidding. It's my job. Gotta pay dem bills or the man will disconnect ma phone.
This is what happens when you can't go sleepies. You ramble. My rambling is semi-coherent. At least I think so.
Examples of Sarcasm:
hey col
-Yes child?
let's say that hypothetically this old lady is walking near me and she keeps farting and it smells like old beef. What should I say?
-Ask her to continue to fart cuz it smells REAL good.
*this has been an example of sarcasm*
Paid for by the word pedagogic
-Hey, doesnt that mean educational?
You bet! Wow your smart. (mumbles under breath) dumbass..
-I heard that.
If I were reincarnated into a fruit I think I'd be... a banana. It goes with lots of foods. It's yella. Grows on a cool tree. And monkeys eat it. Yeah monkeys!
Mike Myers IS Austin Powers IN Goldmember WHICH WAS soldout. Rats! Stupid summer that allows other people to go see movies at 12:30. People ruin everything. For instance nature. What have we done for her? I'll tell you what. We've taken a GIANT dump on her carpet and blamed it on the dog. And guess what? She doesnt even HAVE a dog. It'll be fun to see how our great great great grandkids will survive. I bet they'll lose. Mother Nature...more like mother-fer!
oh snap
I hope I didnt offend Mother Nature. I was only kidding. It's my job. Gotta pay dem bills or the man will disconnect ma phone.
This is what happens when you can't go sleepies. You ramble. My rambling is semi-coherent. At least I think so.
Examples of Sarcasm:
hey col
-Yes child?
let's say that hypothetically this old lady is walking near me and she keeps farting and it smells like old beef. What should I say?
-Ask her to continue to fart cuz it smells REAL good.
*this has been an example of sarcasm*
Paid for by the word pedagogic
-Hey, doesnt that mean educational?
You bet! Wow your smart. (mumbles under breath) dumbass..
-I heard that.
Mike Myers IS Austin Powers IN Goldmember WHICH WAS soldout. Rats! Stupid summer that allows other people to go see movies at 12:30. People ruin everything. For instance nature. What have we done for her? I'll tell you what. We've taken a GIANT dump on her carpet and blamed it on the dog. And guess what? She doesnt even HAVE a dog. It'll be fun to see how our great great great grandkids will survive. I bet they'll lose. Mother Nature...more like mother-fer!
oh snap
I hope I didnt offend Mother Nature. I was only kidding. It's my job. Gotta pay dem bills or the man will disconnect ma phone.
This is what happens when you can't go sleepies. You ramble. My rambling is semi-coherent. At least I think so.
Examples of Sarcasm:
hey col
-Yes child?
let's say that hypothetically this old lady is walking near me and she keeps farting and it smells like old beef. What should I say?
-Ask her to continue to fart cuz it smells REAL good.
*this has been an example of sarcasm*
Paid for by the word pedagogic
-Hey, doesnt that mean educational?
You bet! Wow your smart. (mumbles under breath) dumbass..
-I heard that.
Thursday, July 25, 2002
Today I...
bought lots of music. Not with money, but with magic. No I lied. I bought it with money. Like you can get anything with magic, jeez. Anyway this is what the music told me when we talked in my room. This is just between me and you so don't tell no body, ya hear?
Jimmy said:
it just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be alright
I dunno about you, but I believe him.
Then Coldplay was all:
so if you ever feel neglected
if you feel like all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons
hoping everythings not lost
Now I hear dat. word up.
Sometimes I wish... that the world was a giant cookie and everyone could eat it. There would be no hunger. The water would be milk. Milk and cookies for all. Happy people. Yum. I likes ma cookies. And of course in this world, I wouldnt be lactose intolerant. Hurray says Colleen. Hurray indeed.
Hey, what's the deal
-What chu talkin' 'bout Willis?
Yo, I don't even care.
-You do too.
I know.
bought lots of music. Not with money, but with magic. No I lied. I bought it with money. Like you can get anything with magic, jeez. Anyway this is what the music told me when we talked in my room. This is just between me and you so don't tell no body, ya hear?
Jimmy said:
it just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be alright
I dunno about you, but I believe him.
Then Coldplay was all:
so if you ever feel neglected
if you feel like all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons
hoping everythings not lost
Now I hear dat. word up.
Sometimes I wish... that the world was a giant cookie and everyone could eat it. There would be no hunger. The water would be milk. Milk and cookies for all. Happy people. Yum. I likes ma cookies. And of course in this world, I wouldnt be lactose intolerant. Hurray says Colleen. Hurray indeed.
Hey, what's the deal
-What chu talkin' 'bout Willis?
Yo, I don't even care.
-You do too.
I know.
Tuesday, July 23, 2002
I dont feel like writing about the last day of plane rides cuz i dont have my book with me. So later I'll have to time travel. Right now there are bigger fish to fry.
Scavanger hunt gone bad:
So last night chaos errupts due to the one and only Rays. We had to get a sprinkler head and on our second attempt Nick jumps out of the car and he is trying to unscrew it. He's out there for about 30 seconds when he drops it and runs to the car saying "They're Coming! They're Coming!" I look back to the house and see nothing. We start to drive. Back window shows two pretty built guys running after the car with a goal to kick the you know what outta us. We speed down the road. Turn at the light and pull into a gas station looking for more things on the list. A car pulls up near us and two guys get out. They look similar and I realize Holy Crap! that's them. Floor it out of there as they ask Where you going? No here. Like a bat out of hell til the safety of a residential area saves us.
All over a sprinkler head that we didnt even get.
*Needless to say, the hunt was over after that.*
Newsflash: In the local news, a gang of sign language gorillas came up to Ralph's Italian Ices. They caused quite the situation when they demanded we give them ALL of our banana ices. Good thing Jess T was there, she fought them off with her bare hands. So brave. That's what I told my boss anyway. We like to keep him on his toes. Who knows when the real gorillas will attack.
Hey Fudge Baby: we told Jess T to say, here is your fudge baby to this 20yr old kid who ordered a Triple Chocolate Ralphie. At first she resisted but then we all talked her into it. As she hands it to him she slips her words and says, "Hey fudge baby." We laughted histerically and the guy was really confused. I dont know if he'll ever come back. I hope so.
*note: fudge baby = poop*
Try our Fudge Babies...
They're DELICIOUS!
Scavanger hunt gone bad:
So last night chaos errupts due to the one and only Rays. We had to get a sprinkler head and on our second attempt Nick jumps out of the car and he is trying to unscrew it. He's out there for about 30 seconds when he drops it and runs to the car saying "They're Coming! They're Coming!" I look back to the house and see nothing. We start to drive. Back window shows two pretty built guys running after the car with a goal to kick the you know what outta us. We speed down the road. Turn at the light and pull into a gas station looking for more things on the list. A car pulls up near us and two guys get out. They look similar and I realize Holy Crap! that's them. Floor it out of there as they ask Where you going? No here. Like a bat out of hell til the safety of a residential area saves us.
All over a sprinkler head that we didnt even get.
*Needless to say, the hunt was over after that.*
Newsflash: In the local news, a gang of sign language gorillas came up to Ralph's Italian Ices. They caused quite the situation when they demanded we give them ALL of our banana ices. Good thing Jess T was there, she fought them off with her bare hands. So brave. That's what I told my boss anyway. We like to keep him on his toes. Who knows when the real gorillas will attack.
Hey Fudge Baby: we told Jess T to say, here is your fudge baby to this 20yr old kid who ordered a Triple Chocolate Ralphie. At first she resisted but then we all talked her into it. As she hands it to him she slips her words and says, "Hey fudge baby." We laughted histerically and the guy was really confused. I dont know if he'll ever come back. I hope so.
*note: fudge baby = poop*
Try our Fudge Babies...
They're DELICIOUS!
Monday, July 22, 2002
I was about to finish the last entry to calif and then the comp told me i couldn't so i shook my fist and now have to do it again.
Day Eleven: Last Full Day
Fact: Even God doesn't like Tara Reid.
Newsflash: Merry found dead from taking Unkie Val's glass.
Vivo Mexico!!
Missing Dog:
the toyota commercial with the dog chasing the non-moving car is always missed by one Liz Rivalsi.
I thought: maybe you're not ment to see it.
She thought: wow, that's so deep.
Theme song: smerfs...freakin' smerfs! (yeah thats right I spelled it wrong)
Here's the deal: in order for me to tell merry what liz and I took pictures of the previous night she had to get me butter for my roll.
Me: no buttah, no answers
Merry: I got your buttah right here (GRABS her bum)
*she was later pegged in the eye by a roll*
Barry White Impressions = My explosive laugh
We beat kidss that steal out kitty!
take the kittens....or the child
A convo about the kitty:
Liz: like a baby
Merry: like a bunny
Liz: like a baby bunny
Wait a sec: an add in the local paper for a food store had this to say, "We promise it's fresh, or it's free." Merry begged to ask, "Why would you want something free if it's not fresh?"
Time Flys: looking up at the clock in the porch.
OMG! It's 60 o'clock!
We missed our flight by 50 hours!
AHH! (hands go up and pinky's cross)
____________
now to get to present time, I am proud of my brother because of this new away message:
Auto response from ansky598: pillow-$5.00
blanket-$10.00
druling on both of them and dreaming of monkeys- priceless
aww, my insanity has rubbed off on him.
Day Eleven: Last Full Day
Fact: Even God doesn't like Tara Reid.
Newsflash: Merry found dead from taking Unkie Val's glass.
Vivo Mexico!!
Missing Dog:
the toyota commercial with the dog chasing the non-moving car is always missed by one Liz Rivalsi.
I thought: maybe you're not ment to see it.
She thought: wow, that's so deep.
Theme song: smerfs...freakin' smerfs! (yeah thats right I spelled it wrong)
Here's the deal: in order for me to tell merry what liz and I took pictures of the previous night she had to get me butter for my roll.
Me: no buttah, no answers
Merry: I got your buttah right here (GRABS her bum)
*she was later pegged in the eye by a roll*
Barry White Impressions = My explosive laugh
We beat kidss that steal out kitty!
take the kittens....or the child
A convo about the kitty:
Liz: like a baby
Merry: like a bunny
Liz: like a baby bunny
Wait a sec: an add in the local paper for a food store had this to say, "We promise it's fresh, or it's free." Merry begged to ask, "Why would you want something free if it's not fresh?"
Time Flys: looking up at the clock in the porch.
OMG! It's 60 o'clock!
We missed our flight by 50 hours!
AHH! (hands go up and pinky's cross)
____________
now to get to present time, I am proud of my brother because of this new away message:
Auto response from ansky598: pillow-$5.00
blanket-$10.00
druling on both of them and dreaming of monkeys- priceless
aww, my insanity has rubbed off on him.
Friday, July 19, 2002
So sorry for the delay, I came back from cali on the 15th and then the 17th-19th I had to go to Ithaca Orientation which was cool. I'm excited for the fall. Anyway, back to bizness.
Day Ten:
Quote of the Day: Good thing you weren't giving me bricks. - Merry
Explaination: Merry sat on the floor and my aunt went to throw her a blanket and when she did merry sat up so it landed on her head, covering her suddenly.
And then she misunderstood:
Scene: the den couch
Character: Liz and Unkie Val
Dialoge:
Val: Liz...total friendship [gives Liz a piece of cheese]
Liz: [confused]
--Enter cat, who cheese was intended for to make him total friends with liz--
Liz: oh, I thought this was for OUR friendship.
Talkin' Smack: we went to a thrift store called Aaarmadillo. There the employees were talking about New Yawkas accents n such. I said, "New Yorkers don't talk like that." However, I twas not loud enough.
Merry is drunk:
1) Aw, I want hories to fly
[writer's note: Why wouldn't I NOT write hories?]
2) I was supposed to hit you a lot harder.
[I was hit with the lightest karate chop ever! Due to merry's poor depth perception]
3) on a note she writes I AM A HUGE BAGINA FACE and sticks it on me.
4) my leg now says F*
5) trust is broken: "I <3 +" is now on my leg
6) I <3 Kitties AFF, Merry <3 puppies AAF, Liz <3 Bunniez (or Bunnz) AAF
Only Liz Will Know: The Ten Years Theory is genius
Late Night stroll: pictures...can't tell you of what cuz then merry will know and we can't have that. Also found a rock.
Day Ten:
Quote of the Day: Good thing you weren't giving me bricks. - Merry
Explaination: Merry sat on the floor and my aunt went to throw her a blanket and when she did merry sat up so it landed on her head, covering her suddenly.
And then she misunderstood:
Scene: the den couch
Character: Liz and Unkie Val
Dialoge:
Val: Liz...total friendship [gives Liz a piece of cheese]
Liz: [confused]
--Enter cat, who cheese was intended for to make him total friends with liz--
Liz: oh, I thought this was for OUR friendship.
Talkin' Smack: we went to a thrift store called Aaarmadillo. There the employees were talking about New Yawkas accents n such. I said, "New Yorkers don't talk like that." However, I twas not loud enough.
Merry is drunk:
1) Aw, I want hories to fly
[writer's note: Why wouldn't I NOT write hories?]
2) I was supposed to hit you a lot harder.
[I was hit with the lightest karate chop ever! Due to merry's poor depth perception]
3) on a note she writes I AM A HUGE BAGINA FACE and sticks it on me.
4) my leg now says F*
5) trust is broken: "I <3 +" is now on my leg
6) I <3 Kitties AFF, Merry <3 puppies AAF, Liz <3 Bunniez (or Bunnz) AAF
Only Liz Will Know: The Ten Years Theory is genius
Late Night stroll: pictures...can't tell you of what cuz then merry will know and we can't have that. Also found a rock.
Saturday, July 13, 2002
Day Nine:
Who's Awake? - Col's awake...before noon!
Where'd we go? - Seal Beach, not for seals though. Aunt Kay and Uncle Joe remain some of the nicest people in the world. John Peter's kids are still adorable and goregous. Jonathon told blonde jokes, Andrea is the tanest person in the universe..its the egyptian in her.
Why aren't they home? - So we follow directions, get to their house, but it looked like their not home. So we go up and knock. No answer. Knock again. No answer. Open the mail slot to look in. No lights on. Liz sees an asian lady. So then we decide to wait in the car. About 5 mins later Merry asked if it was the right house. Liz checks. Yeah, we were off by one.
Imagine if those people were home?!
When are old men funny? - for "Uncle Pete" it's all the time. He encourages all to be crazy but careful. He tells jokes like it's his job. A fly was hanging around his hearing aid.
What accent? - New Yorkers have accents compared to cali folk. Subtle, like water, walking, strawberry, cherry, orange, chocolate. It was fun comparing. How do you say apple?
How about that music? - Jonathon asked if I ever heard of Snoop Dog.
Thats Tight!
Revelation: my group of friends have created our own language. We can't properly represent NY because even our fellow NYers would hear what we say and go...What?
ex) Tra, ser, def, tot, prob, aws, snap...
Who's Awake? - Col's awake...before noon!
Where'd we go? - Seal Beach, not for seals though. Aunt Kay and Uncle Joe remain some of the nicest people in the world. John Peter's kids are still adorable and goregous. Jonathon told blonde jokes, Andrea is the tanest person in the universe..its the egyptian in her.
Why aren't they home? - So we follow directions, get to their house, but it looked like their not home. So we go up and knock. No answer. Knock again. No answer. Open the mail slot to look in. No lights on. Liz sees an asian lady. So then we decide to wait in the car. About 5 mins later Merry asked if it was the right house. Liz checks. Yeah, we were off by one.
Imagine if those people were home?!
When are old men funny? - for "Uncle Pete" it's all the time. He encourages all to be crazy but careful. He tells jokes like it's his job. A fly was hanging around his hearing aid.
What accent? - New Yorkers have accents compared to cali folk. Subtle, like water, walking, strawberry, cherry, orange, chocolate. It was fun comparing. How do you say apple?
How about that music? - Jonathon asked if I ever heard of Snoop Dog.
Thats Tight!
Revelation: my group of friends have created our own language. We can't properly represent NY because even our fellow NYers would hear what we say and go...What?
ex) Tra, ser, def, tot, prob, aws, snap...
Day Eight:
Point/Counterpoint:
Merry and Liz - Wake up, Colleen
Colleen - No
My attempts to go back to sleep were sabotaged. However, my mom called and said to wake up, a truck came for me, I got a penny for my thoughts, and got to nap with a cucumber and tomato.
El Pollo Loco: Crazy chicken that didnt like my stomach so it hurty worty. But it was so goodie woodie.
Groundlings: the director lady had one HUGE dimple and would trail off at the end of her sentences with a mixture of excitement and clapping. Naturally we mocked her, even if she was sitting right next to us. Liz madeout with Benjamine Sommat from The Nanny. We all hid our upper lips. We basically ran the show. They took our suggestions of Underpants Factory and A Giant Meatball. Saw Micheal McDonald's underpants (he is Stewart from Mad TV).
Show Highlights:
The fairies that replaced her REAL son with a turd
You damn Jackass!
Old man Jeff - make him doubt himself...and the naps he took in the corner
See you next year!
This one's shaking
On top of old smokey all covered with cheese, I lost my poor hmmm-mmm.
Because I love you (huge gasp!)
Will she, Wont she?- Ya see, I sweat a lot. And even though some people look into deorderant n such, Merry and Liz assured me that suicide is the best answer. People like you more post mordem...aka dead.
Word of the day: The B word and Yeah!
Later on: smoked up a kitty, Merry hides her sass in her fass, and I'm the masta of da Rhyme.
"it's cuz their old." - Liz
Tomorrow: EARTHQUAKES!
Point/Counterpoint:
Merry and Liz - Wake up, Colleen
Colleen - No
My attempts to go back to sleep were sabotaged. However, my mom called and said to wake up, a truck came for me, I got a penny for my thoughts, and got to nap with a cucumber and tomato.
El Pollo Loco: Crazy chicken that didnt like my stomach so it hurty worty. But it was so goodie woodie.
Groundlings: the director lady had one HUGE dimple and would trail off at the end of her sentences with a mixture of excitement and clapping. Naturally we mocked her, even if she was sitting right next to us. Liz madeout with Benjamine Sommat from The Nanny. We all hid our upper lips. We basically ran the show. They took our suggestions of Underpants Factory and A Giant Meatball. Saw Micheal McDonald's underpants (he is Stewart from Mad TV).
Show Highlights:
The fairies that replaced her REAL son with a turd
You damn Jackass!
Old man Jeff - make him doubt himself...and the naps he took in the corner
See you next year!
This one's shaking
On top of old smokey all covered with cheese, I lost my poor hmmm-mmm.
Because I love you (huge gasp!)
Will she, Wont she?- Ya see, I sweat a lot. And even though some people look into deorderant n such, Merry and Liz assured me that suicide is the best answer. People like you more post mordem...aka dead.
Word of the day: The B word and Yeah!
Later on: smoked up a kitty, Merry hides her sass in her fass, and I'm the masta of da Rhyme.
"it's cuz their old." - Liz
Tomorrow: EARTHQUAKES!
Friday, July 12, 2002
Day Seven:
"Morning" Fun: had a hand-off. Merry won with a stomp o the foot. Liz gave in but alas! she stompted! Then tried to hide behind the fridge. But I said that I did it (guilty as charged). In other news, I cut the english muffin wrong so I stabbed myself.
Magic Mountain: Bets on the temp. were made; 101, 103, 107, 104. ooooh it was 102 as we stepped out of the car. So no one won. Thats junk. However, it was my first time feeling hundred digit weather. Yep! (once again, I speech real good) 1st corndog was eaten, freakin 4.50. I tried to take Liz's brain. Went on a water ride and OF COURSE I'm wearing a white tank top and OF COURSE, who is the 1st one soaked? uh, me. Merry hydroplaned on a puddle with her flip flops and splashed Liz on purpose! Thats SO mean! (Enter floor it music here) We then shared our American Pride. Proud to me an American...with nazi undertones.
Later: Watched "Is this your dog?" and Crank Yankers is ober
Oldschool AND Wonderful: (hick voice) I like beans
A Conversation: about David Letterman's redo of an Oprah show
Me: What's with the boo-hoo?
Liz: Oprah does that.
Me: Really?
Liz: I dunno.
Unkie Val is Crazy!:
example - guy dies and he says, "adios Mo-Fo" cept he DIDNT say mo-fo.
example again - Julia Roberts country singin Ex...appearently she couldnt french kiss him cuz her tongue would get stuck. I think HE madeout with him!
Infomercials: The Juice Man. Now what made this man think, "Hey, you know what? I'm gonna make my eyebrows insane." Maybe it was the chinese people. "Apple, ok. Apple."
"Morning" Fun: had a hand-off. Merry won with a stomp o the foot. Liz gave in but alas! she stompted! Then tried to hide behind the fridge. But I said that I did it (guilty as charged). In other news, I cut the english muffin wrong so I stabbed myself.
Magic Mountain: Bets on the temp. were made; 101, 103, 107, 104. ooooh it was 102 as we stepped out of the car. So no one won. Thats junk. However, it was my first time feeling hundred digit weather. Yep! (once again, I speech real good) 1st corndog was eaten, freakin 4.50. I tried to take Liz's brain. Went on a water ride and OF COURSE I'm wearing a white tank top and OF COURSE, who is the 1st one soaked? uh, me. Merry hydroplaned on a puddle with her flip flops and splashed Liz on purpose! Thats SO mean! (Enter floor it music here) We then shared our American Pride. Proud to me an American...with nazi undertones.
Later: Watched "Is this your dog?" and Crank Yankers is ober
Oldschool AND Wonderful: (hick voice) I like beans
A Conversation: about David Letterman's redo of an Oprah show
Me: What's with the boo-hoo?
Liz: Oprah does that.
Me: Really?
Liz: I dunno.
Unkie Val is Crazy!:
example - guy dies and he says, "adios Mo-Fo" cept he DIDNT say mo-fo.
example again - Julia Roberts country singin Ex...appearently she couldnt french kiss him cuz her tongue would get stuck. I think HE madeout with him!
Infomercials: The Juice Man. Now what made this man think, "Hey, you know what? I'm gonna make my eyebrows insane." Maybe it was the chinese people. "Apple, ok. Apple."
Wednesday, July 10, 2002
Day Five:
A Late Start: woke up a couple times but only got up at 1:15. It's impressive, and sad.
Speech Probs: I can't speech at all today: example: snots!, godchild, gloss, dogfaced killa, etc.
Videotaped Virtual Tour of the digital casa: I got lost in Africa, saw children covered in cement, looked for a lost dog, pet a kitty, saw the white house, saw the clone garden...they were in the fetal stage
Unkie Ken Hangout Time: went to starlight chinese place and saw a wall of pictures of the customers. A baby was healthy and eating healthy, others looked like moviestar, and then merry stole the pic with two men who eat brown rice and it makes them more healthy. Saw a fish flop...a sad death. SVA vs SIA ( School of Imaginery Arts) blank walls n such, they imagine beating ppl up.
World Mysteries: I dont understand why ppl with beards of bees try to shave...with honey non the less. And why merry went cliff diving into a rocky quary. Some people confoose me.
A Shame: everyone has stolen something of zero value except for me and it's MY mission. What the F is that?
Discovery: sherbert is good
Did you hear that?: Freak whiste-er=Liz. Always Whistling!
Think bout dis: A crazy old fart. How does an old fart stay alive for that long. Rumor has it, they disapate into the air. I guess thats why its crazy.
Jimmy Newtron: the movie that will make your kids rape you. Hey, its happens
Homesickness strikes: Liz misses her na-na and the questions asked.
Liz's Revenge: she scared the crap out of Merry since her attempts on me over the years have been unsuccessful.
-----------------------
Day Six:
New Word: Muggin'
Real World Reruns Strike Again!: Yeah, they are addicting AND fun to watch
Mad Crazy Search For: Jam or some sort of Jelly to go on toast. In the search I found an evil tomato with horns and a butt.
Fun with Glasses: my glasses were making me look crazy cuz they were all crooked n such
Cruised: 'round Cali all by ourselves. Blasted the radio. Read a magazine. Realized how embarrassing it must be to buy old people diapers. There is no hiding that.
A Convo at the Dinner Table: Unkie Val eats bunnies. I made friends with a brick that I talk to. opposi thinking; right way is to puff at the air, wrong way is to puff and hmm....(gasp!) WRONG! -> this bred a teacher who is fired cuz they are always surprised and yelling at the kids...(gasp!) NOT TRUE!
Liz Killed Me: with lightsabers and limbs and killing knives
A New Game: we played a three person triangle coin game and the neighbors saw us. Note: Liz wants Nerf stuff.
White Gravy Sinerio: Aunt Donna said she was going to throw out the white gravy and Unkie Val got sad so he then ate more mash dtados to finish up some o the gravy before the mountain lion bears could get to it.
Facts:
1) Old Man and Humpback Whale are the same when acted out.
2) Bunnies wiggle their noses.
Uh-oh Skeetie-Os..she knows!: Aunt Donna told us that she got a faulty box of cookies from Knotts Berry Farm. They were mysteriously half eaten. We all agreed it was best for her to bring them back.
A Late Start: woke up a couple times but only got up at 1:15. It's impressive, and sad.
Speech Probs: I can't speech at all today: example: snots!, godchild, gloss, dogfaced killa, etc.
Videotaped Virtual Tour of the digital casa: I got lost in Africa, saw children covered in cement, looked for a lost dog, pet a kitty, saw the white house, saw the clone garden...they were in the fetal stage
Unkie Ken Hangout Time: went to starlight chinese place and saw a wall of pictures of the customers. A baby was healthy and eating healthy, others looked like moviestar, and then merry stole the pic with two men who eat brown rice and it makes them more healthy. Saw a fish flop...a sad death. SVA vs SIA ( School of Imaginery Arts) blank walls n such, they imagine beating ppl up.
World Mysteries: I dont understand why ppl with beards of bees try to shave...with honey non the less. And why merry went cliff diving into a rocky quary. Some people confoose me.
A Shame: everyone has stolen something of zero value except for me and it's MY mission. What the F is that?
Discovery: sherbert is good
Did you hear that?: Freak whiste-er=Liz. Always Whistling!
Think bout dis: A crazy old fart. How does an old fart stay alive for that long. Rumor has it, they disapate into the air. I guess thats why its crazy.
Jimmy Newtron: the movie that will make your kids rape you. Hey, its happens
Homesickness strikes: Liz misses her na-na and the questions asked.
Liz's Revenge: she scared the crap out of Merry since her attempts on me over the years have been unsuccessful.
-----------------------
Day Six:
New Word: Muggin'
Real World Reruns Strike Again!: Yeah, they are addicting AND fun to watch
Mad Crazy Search For: Jam or some sort of Jelly to go on toast. In the search I found an evil tomato with horns and a butt.
Fun with Glasses: my glasses were making me look crazy cuz they were all crooked n such
Cruised: 'round Cali all by ourselves. Blasted the radio. Read a magazine. Realized how embarrassing it must be to buy old people diapers. There is no hiding that.
A Convo at the Dinner Table: Unkie Val eats bunnies. I made friends with a brick that I talk to. opposi thinking; right way is to puff at the air, wrong way is to puff and hmm....(gasp!) WRONG! -> this bred a teacher who is fired cuz they are always surprised and yelling at the kids...(gasp!) NOT TRUE!
Liz Killed Me: with lightsabers and limbs and killing knives
A New Game: we played a three person triangle coin game and the neighbors saw us. Note: Liz wants Nerf stuff.
White Gravy Sinerio: Aunt Donna said she was going to throw out the white gravy and Unkie Val got sad so he then ate more mash dtados to finish up some o the gravy before the mountain lion bears could get to it.
Facts:
1) Old Man and Humpback Whale are the same when acted out.
2) Bunnies wiggle their noses.
Uh-oh Skeetie-Os..she knows!: Aunt Donna told us that she got a faulty box of cookies from Knotts Berry Farm. They were mysteriously half eaten. We all agreed it was best for her to bring them back.
Tuesday, July 09, 2002
Day Four:
I woke up before Liz and Merry had a chance to stare at me. Ah, the tables have turned.
Knotts Berry: many "your mom" lines from Merry, Aunt Donna losing mental faith in us thus we got off Ghostrider but not before we saw 18+infinity ghosts. Then we became sluts for our old time picture...I mean we went for the "risque" setting. Liz accomplishes second mission; to get free cookies. I sneeze for attention, The Plunge bailed on us but not before making the What Am I Doing? game; some of the highlights: You're checking the nutritional labels of things..that was my guess at liz putting away books. THere was also the Underwear checker, the wild monkey that chased us, eating chocoleet pudding shakes
Back at the Hiz-ous: Liz tells me to "shut up," then proceeds to call me "insane"
New Q Word: Qwalking
Then I: forced Liz to look at evil and stole some cookies while Aunt Donna was sweepies.
I woke up before Liz and Merry had a chance to stare at me. Ah, the tables have turned.
Knotts Berry: many "your mom" lines from Merry, Aunt Donna losing mental faith in us thus we got off Ghostrider but not before we saw 18+infinity ghosts. Then we became sluts for our old time picture...I mean we went for the "risque" setting. Liz accomplishes second mission; to get free cookies. I sneeze for attention, The Plunge bailed on us but not before making the What Am I Doing? game; some of the highlights: You're checking the nutritional labels of things..that was my guess at liz putting away books. THere was also the Underwear checker, the wild monkey that chased us, eating chocoleet pudding shakes
Back at the Hiz-ous: Liz tells me to "shut up," then proceeds to call me "insane"
New Q Word: Qwalking
Then I: forced Liz to look at evil and stole some cookies while Aunt Donna was sweepies.
Monday, July 08, 2002
Day Three:
Santa Monica Peir: so many big arse expensivo houses, T-bell and funnel cakes, Ferris Wheel; scary to lean all the way back, I licked the pole, and we hid our fun from the employees. Bought; sunglasses and zip up hoody. Named a boat the SS Poopsie, watched guys paint with their fingers, saw a crazy lady yell at no one, found a cool skirt..41 bucks...no thanks, 5 dollar palm reading; long life, work with mind, not rich or poor but happy, 3 kids, appearently my bf loves me more than I think since I'm "not getting the love I want", lucky days are sat and sunday. Can you say general?
On the way back: I dared Liz to steal a little street cone and she did, but the light we were stopped at turned green so she attempted to dive back into the car. Unfortunately she dove a bit high and hit her head on the car door. Don't worry, she's ok.
At the House: discussed The Real World...we agree that Tonya sucks. Liz then tripped as she sneezed. And I discovered that the walls give me immunity from the Rath of Liz.
A shocking discovery: There is something in the In and Out burgers. We think it's the cheese. It's laced. [for the east coasters, In and Out is an AMAZING burger place where everything is made fresh and its reasonable priced]
Case in point: Colleen throws up on me - Merry
Fun with the Letter Q: Qwhat? and Qwater
Watched The Others and shared stories of unexplained and contact with other worlds.
We discussed parents eternal power and I said how one day we will have that power..."and abuse it like the rest of them" - Merry
(no offense to all the rents out there)
Informercials: Before and After "Bring It Up" breasts...Awesome.
Santa Monica Peir: so many big arse expensivo houses, T-bell and funnel cakes, Ferris Wheel; scary to lean all the way back, I licked the pole, and we hid our fun from the employees. Bought; sunglasses and zip up hoody. Named a boat the SS Poopsie, watched guys paint with their fingers, saw a crazy lady yell at no one, found a cool skirt..41 bucks...no thanks, 5 dollar palm reading; long life, work with mind, not rich or poor but happy, 3 kids, appearently my bf loves me more than I think since I'm "not getting the love I want", lucky days are sat and sunday. Can you say general?
On the way back: I dared Liz to steal a little street cone and she did, but the light we were stopped at turned green so she attempted to dive back into the car. Unfortunately she dove a bit high and hit her head on the car door. Don't worry, she's ok.
At the House: discussed The Real World...we agree that Tonya sucks. Liz then tripped as she sneezed. And I discovered that the walls give me immunity from the Rath of Liz.
A shocking discovery: There is something in the In and Out burgers. We think it's the cheese. It's laced. [for the east coasters, In and Out is an AMAZING burger place where everything is made fresh and its reasonable priced]
Case in point: Colleen throws up on me - Merry
Fun with the Letter Q: Qwhat? and Qwater
Watched The Others and shared stories of unexplained and contact with other worlds.
We discussed parents eternal power and I said how one day we will have that power..."and abuse it like the rest of them" - Merry
(no offense to all the rents out there)
Informercials: Before and After "Bring It Up" breasts...Awesome.
Saturday, July 06, 2002
Time Travel! Going back to Day One and Two of the trip:
Day One:
Airports: need entertainment, too much like a library. Needs more disco and clapping. We clapped as people got off and got mostly confused looks. There was a handshake and in Nashville we got a lady to start to clap - she had no clue.
Arrival: early and we laid on the "crab grass" it's amazing to touch the plant life. Thick leaves, bright flowers, grapevine. Even the weeds are perdy. Everything is so vibrant, no cool colors hea! As Merry said, Californians would come to NY and upon seeing the dull house colors would say: "wha-what is this?"
New Vocab Word: fuzz=po-po. I had no clue. Go Merry! It's getting fuzzy in hea. PEACE!
Song O the Day: Sweatness by Jimmy Eat World; sung on the plane and the guy ahead had to know what I was listening to.
Missions:
Liz - VW van spottin' (check)
Merry - hug a kitty (check)
Me - steal sometin' (yet to occur)
Day Two:
Hollywood: OJ's hizous and crime scene, Crazy Orca house and weird roofs, Three stooges, Wax Museum, Discovering Unkie Val's non-use of signals when driving, Starbucks renaming me Colly, Citywalk; merry wets pants, Wizards, Blocking merry from touching garage ceiling
More Reason's Why I love Letterman: band played Battle of Who Could Care Less by Ben Folds plus, "What about monkeys?"
I am proud because: I found the sorcerer's stone! Yeah Extra Scenes! once again...I heart Snape
Day One:
Airports: need entertainment, too much like a library. Needs more disco and clapping. We clapped as people got off and got mostly confused looks. There was a handshake and in Nashville we got a lady to start to clap - she had no clue.
Arrival: early and we laid on the "crab grass" it's amazing to touch the plant life. Thick leaves, bright flowers, grapevine. Even the weeds are perdy. Everything is so vibrant, no cool colors hea! As Merry said, Californians would come to NY and upon seeing the dull house colors would say: "wha-what is this?"
New Vocab Word: fuzz=po-po. I had no clue. Go Merry! It's getting fuzzy in hea. PEACE!
Song O the Day: Sweatness by Jimmy Eat World; sung on the plane and the guy ahead had to know what I was listening to.
Missions:
Liz - VW van spottin' (check)
Merry - hug a kitty (check)
Me - steal sometin' (yet to occur)
Day Two:
Hollywood: OJ's hizous and crime scene, Crazy Orca house and weird roofs, Three stooges, Wax Museum, Discovering Unkie Val's non-use of signals when driving, Starbucks renaming me Colly, Citywalk; merry wets pants, Wizards, Blocking merry from touching garage ceiling
More Reason's Why I love Letterman: band played Battle of Who Could Care Less by Ben Folds plus, "What about monkeys?"
I am proud because: I found the sorcerer's stone! Yeah Extra Scenes! once again...I heart Snape
Wednesday, July 03, 2002
My sincere apologies for the lack of updates. I just dont get home early enough and my relatives are in the room that has the compooder so I can't update when I'd like to. However I am leaving you all again. But this time I'm hiring a bbsitter to look over you so I don't come home to a ruined couch and beer stains on my satin sheets. Holligans! Liz, Merry, and Myself (sounds like a tv show) are all going back to cali for ...oh..10 days. Jealous?! We're outta hea as of 12:35 tomorrow. But my aunt and uncle do have a compooder at their house. They are into modern technology so I'll be able to update. I plan on having Moments O the Vacation. And there will most likely bee tons of jokes make so picking the Phrase O the Week will prob be tough.
Before I go I'd like to do alittle segment known as: Thesaurus Time
Todays word: Ear aka concha [con-CHA!]
Next time you get water in your ear from going swimmies in da pool, tell everyone: Hey, I got some water in my conCHA!
[then shake like crazy to get it out]
Thesaurus Time brought to you by Lamp Shades.
Without dem shades, the light would KILL you.
I'm leavin' on a jet plane.
LATA FOOS
Before I go I'd like to do alittle segment known as: Thesaurus Time
Todays word: Ear aka concha [con-CHA!]
Next time you get water in your ear from going swimmies in da pool, tell everyone: Hey, I got some water in my conCHA!
[then shake like crazy to get it out]
Thesaurus Time brought to you by Lamp Shades.
Without dem shades, the light would KILL you.
I'm leavin' on a jet plane.
LATA FOOS
Monday, July 01, 2002
Graduation. Hot and long. Best part was going to see Trading Spaces, the TLC show where two sets of neighbors switch homes for 2 days and redo one room in each others house. They each get a designer and 1000 dollar budget. Such a great show. So once Jesse tells me that TS is in Lake Grove and that they met Ty, the coolest carpenter EVER!, I was all...We are going today to see it. Then at about 6 pm we left my graduation par-tay we went; Me, Merry, cousin Patrick, and my social issues teacher Ms.Ogozalek. The car ride itself was udderly hilarious since we wanted to take Ms.O's car; a stick shift toyota corrola like mine. We fine the house and low and behold who is on the porch...Frank the designer. Sweaty Frank who seems gay but isn't. So I'm all Frank! YEAH!! WOO-HOO. And then I ask to shake his hand. I did. Then we all talked to him about the show and whatnot for about 15 mins.
Met one of the homeowners and he, Sal, was really nice and invited us back to see his house when it was all done. So we did. And we saw Paige Davis..THE HOST! got her autograph. Saw the house that Frank did. Freakin so cool seeing behind the scenes. The episode will air Sept 28 for all those wanting to know.
And the Phrase O the Week goes to Ms. Ogozalek. On the way back from meeting Frank we discussed what she hear. Appearently when I said Frank! and asked to shake his hand {which he said he was sweaty and whipped his hand off before shakage} she heard it as:
Hey Fat Guy! Can you rub your fat on me?!
Crazy Ms.O. She doesnt know WHAT is going on. But she knows her stuff on bears. Bears that eat bears. And such. And all. And whatnot. And stuff. And etc.
You got the idea.
Met one of the homeowners and he, Sal, was really nice and invited us back to see his house when it was all done. So we did. And we saw Paige Davis..THE HOST! got her autograph. Saw the house that Frank did. Freakin so cool seeing behind the scenes. The episode will air Sept 28 for all those wanting to know.
And the Phrase O the Week goes to Ms. Ogozalek. On the way back from meeting Frank we discussed what she hear. Appearently when I said Frank! and asked to shake his hand {which he said he was sweaty and whipped his hand off before shakage} she heard it as:
Hey Fat Guy! Can you rub your fat on me?!
Crazy Ms.O. She doesnt know WHAT is going on. But she knows her stuff on bears. Bears that eat bears. And such. And all. And whatnot. And stuff. And etc.
You got the idea.
Thursday, June 27, 2002
My friend Holly Ponticello sent me this email with some guys quotes that I THOUGHT I saved...but no. [hangs head in shame] Anyway they were amusing and they made you think.
Here you go:
If you catch an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do?
Can a vegitarian eat animal crackers?
and thats all I remember! Yaye! In other news, I did absolutely nothing today from 12-5:30. I think it's summer...but then I had to work. [insert Boo here] No I actually like work. But it's so cool not really having any responsibility to do anything at all. I just kinda slept and then ate some waffles and then watched some of The Outer Limits. I wish I had something clever to say....
Oh Conan O'Brien made a statue of himself and tried to get some NJ town to keep it. Ya know, if I made a statue of myself I think I'd have myself picking my nose in the statue since you dont see that everyday. I dunno why not. I mean cmon no matter how old you get you are always picking your nose. babies and kids have no shame. As you get older to try to hid it with a tissue and as you get older I think you care less and just go for it. Old people nose pick. It's a beauty.
Now that we have established what the pose will be, where shall I put it. Why not a foreign country. How about...the Waldbaums parking lot on Portion road. PERFECT! Ah, my life is so done.
I wanna be like Adam Sandler. Everytime he goes on Talk Shows or Awards stuff he wears t-shirts and regular pants and sneakers. Now I dont care so much about the pants I'd wear but I want to be wearing t-shirts and sneakers for the rest of my life. Maybe I just wont EVER wear pants. But the only job for that is a prostitute...oh man. Eh, I gotta do what I gotta do to make my dreams come true.
See ya on the flipside.
See ya, wouldnt want to BE ya!!!
oooooh snap!!
I don't really mean it, I just say things.
Here you go:
If you catch an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do?
Can a vegitarian eat animal crackers?
and thats all I remember! Yaye! In other news, I did absolutely nothing today from 12-5:30. I think it's summer...but then I had to work. [insert Boo here] No I actually like work. But it's so cool not really having any responsibility to do anything at all. I just kinda slept and then ate some waffles and then watched some of The Outer Limits. I wish I had something clever to say....
Oh Conan O'Brien made a statue of himself and tried to get some NJ town to keep it. Ya know, if I made a statue of myself I think I'd have myself picking my nose in the statue since you dont see that everyday. I dunno why not. I mean cmon no matter how old you get you are always picking your nose. babies and kids have no shame. As you get older to try to hid it with a tissue and as you get older I think you care less and just go for it. Old people nose pick. It's a beauty.
Now that we have established what the pose will be, where shall I put it. Why not a foreign country. How about...the Waldbaums parking lot on Portion road. PERFECT! Ah, my life is so done.
I wanna be like Adam Sandler. Everytime he goes on Talk Shows or Awards stuff he wears t-shirts and regular pants and sneakers. Now I dont care so much about the pants I'd wear but I want to be wearing t-shirts and sneakers for the rest of my life. Maybe I just wont EVER wear pants. But the only job for that is a prostitute...oh man. Eh, I gotta do what I gotta do to make my dreams come true.
See ya on the flipside.
See ya, wouldnt want to BE ya!!!
oooooh snap!!
I don't really mean it, I just say things.
Wednesday, June 26, 2002
Some memories of Prom and after prom camping:
Prom:
1) searching for the chicken lady with the most amazing chicken EVER!
2) talking with jess rouge
3) dancing with ms. ogozalek and hearing her say "oh shit!"
4) dancing up on mrs. brush
5) going insane from the mad-phat beats
6) putting ALL my dinner on tonys plate and him not noticing at all
7) Nick humping the table
8) Singing to Dave
9) reminding ppl that Merry, Liz, and I all share food but not showers
10) cookie bars!
Camping:
1) BUM FIGHTS!
2) Jesse having a vagina toe and junk foot
3) The AMAZING Card Trick Liz...and her before trick speech
4) Diagnosis..death.
5) Is my penis darker? (to avoid confusion...I said this)
6) Hearing other campers yell to the obnoxious kids next to us who didnt know it was "Quiet Time"...the F word was used
7) Burning the food - bacon, eggs, strawberrys, bananas, apples, bags of chips...etc
8) Completion of my Quest to drink all the lactaid milk
9) "Making love" to the crumb cake with Liz, Tim, and Jon...in 5 second intervals
10) Befriending the chipmonks and domesticating them
There are more memories but I know the people outside of my circle o friends who were there when this all "went down" will be totally confused about this list o events. I hope everyone had a fun and safe after prom. Oh and our limo driver told us a story about Micheal Bolton...jealous?! I am SO not telling.
Graduation is this Saturday. It's gonna be crazy. I think it will hit me then how many people I won't really see again. I dunno if I'll cry. If I do, try not to be all AW! col is crying...cuz that will only make it worse. Either that or I'll punch you in the face.
My Aunt is in from Cali. There are 8 days and counting til we be out o hea and be ova dare.
Tim says funny things.
Prom:
1) searching for the chicken lady with the most amazing chicken EVER!
2) talking with jess rouge
3) dancing with ms. ogozalek and hearing her say "oh shit!"
4) dancing up on mrs. brush
5) going insane from the mad-phat beats
6) putting ALL my dinner on tonys plate and him not noticing at all
7) Nick humping the table
8) Singing to Dave
9) reminding ppl that Merry, Liz, and I all share food but not showers
10) cookie bars!
Camping:
1) BUM FIGHTS!
2) Jesse having a vagina toe and junk foot
3) The AMAZING Card Trick Liz...and her before trick speech
4) Diagnosis..death.
5) Is my penis darker? (to avoid confusion...I said this)
6) Hearing other campers yell to the obnoxious kids next to us who didnt know it was "Quiet Time"...the F word was used
7) Burning the food - bacon, eggs, strawberrys, bananas, apples, bags of chips...etc
8) Completion of my Quest to drink all the lactaid milk
9) "Making love" to the crumb cake with Liz, Tim, and Jon...in 5 second intervals
10) Befriending the chipmonks and domesticating them
There are more memories but I know the people outside of my circle o friends who were there when this all "went down" will be totally confused about this list o events. I hope everyone had a fun and safe after prom. Oh and our limo driver told us a story about Micheal Bolton...jealous?! I am SO not telling.
Graduation is this Saturday. It's gonna be crazy. I think it will hit me then how many people I won't really see again. I dunno if I'll cry. If I do, try not to be all AW! col is crying...cuz that will only make it worse. Either that or I'll punch you in the face.
My Aunt is in from Cali. There are 8 days and counting til we be out o hea and be ova dare.
Tim says funny things.
Saturday, June 22, 2002
I forgot to tell all of y'all that the other day I took a sexy test at IHOP to see how sexy I was......appearently I am a sex maniac. How about them apples?
So Phrase O the Week goes to a man I just met today. I went with Jon to this collective graduation party in Westchester that had a lot of his family. I was warned about Uncle Don. I met Uncle Don. I was ready for the challenge. He made a comment about me being a redhead, and I couldnt let him believe a lie so I told him it was dyed. Then he was saying he could see the roots...which I then said was impostible cuz I just dyed it so there was no roots. He then added a humorously awkward comment about how you could tell if I was a REAL redhead. In his Uncle Don way he said to me:
Drop your draws.
Oh Uncle Don, he's so crazy. Jon's family is crazy and I love it. I feel so at home.
You can call me Ray, you can call me Jay, you can call me John, but dont' call me Ms. WebAHHH!
Don't worry it's ok to be confused.
So Phrase O the Week goes to a man I just met today. I went with Jon to this collective graduation party in Westchester that had a lot of his family. I was warned about Uncle Don. I met Uncle Don. I was ready for the challenge. He made a comment about me being a redhead, and I couldnt let him believe a lie so I told him it was dyed. Then he was saying he could see the roots...which I then said was impostible cuz I just dyed it so there was no roots. He then added a humorously awkward comment about how you could tell if I was a REAL redhead. In his Uncle Don way he said to me:
Drop your draws.
Oh Uncle Don, he's so crazy. Jon's family is crazy and I love it. I feel so at home.
You can call me Ray, you can call me Jay, you can call me John, but dont' call me Ms. WebAHHH!
Don't worry it's ok to be confused.
Thursday, June 20, 2002
I'd like to post some of Liz Rivalsi's work. I hope she doesn't mind. Please don't sue me!
i've got no thyroid
to digest me
to make me fat or make me thin
i had a thyroid
but now i'm less
there are no thyroids in me
hiho the merio
thats the only way to go
i want the world to know
nothing ever worries me
Hiho the merio
I'm as happy as can be
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me
I've got no thyroid
so i eat lots
i dont cook food, i dont smoke pot
they've got thyroids
but you can see
there are no thy-roids in me
you have no thyroid
your throat is free
to love me by the Zuider Zee
ya ya ya
if you would woo
i'd bust my thyroid in for you
you've got no thyroid
comme ce comme ca
i've got a thyroid
but entre nous
i'd cut my thyroid out for yous
down where the volga flows
theres a russian rendevous
where me and ivan go
but i'd rather go with you, hey!
It's kinda like watching an old man try to get up a flight of stairs; it's funny but awkward.
Keep up the good work Liz.
i've got no thyroid
to digest me
to make me fat or make me thin
i had a thyroid
but now i'm less
there are no thyroids in me
hiho the merio
thats the only way to go
i want the world to know
nothing ever worries me
Hiho the merio
I'm as happy as can be
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me
I've got no thyroid
so i eat lots
i dont cook food, i dont smoke pot
they've got thyroids
but you can see
there are no thy-roids in me
you have no thyroid
your throat is free
to love me by the Zuider Zee
ya ya ya
if you would woo
i'd bust my thyroid in for you
you've got no thyroid
comme ce comme ca
i've got a thyroid
but entre nous
i'd cut my thyroid out for yous
down where the volga flows
theres a russian rendevous
where me and ivan go
but i'd rather go with you, hey!
It's kinda like watching an old man try to get up a flight of stairs; it's funny but awkward.
Keep up the good work Liz.
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
A humorous convo between Dan Ling and Myself at 1:30am:
methudman6: why are you up so late
Lactaid Lady: i dunno
Lactaid Lady: i just cant get myself to to go to sleep
Lactaid Lady: you?
methudman6: yes
methudman6: same thing
methudman6: and i'm like bored too
methudman6: but i dont' wanna sleep
methudman6: happens to me like everydya
Lactaid Lady: and the weird thing is....i love sleep
Lactaid Lady: yet, i avoid it
methudman6: yea
methudman6: i like being awake as much as i like sleeping
methudman6: lol
Lactaid Lady: i like being awake n all, but i mean...sleep
Lactaid Lady: oh man
Lactaid Lady: they need to bottle it
methudman6: yea
methudman6: drink that shit up
Lactaid Lady: lol
Lactaid Lady: it would be like water mixed with rufies
methudman6: rufies
methudman6: wats that
Lactaid Lady: date rape drug
Lactaid Lady: makes you sleepy and forget
methudman6: i don't wnana forget sex
Lactaid Lady: well we'll take out that in our Bottle O Sleep
Lactaid Lady: so ppl can sleep AND enjoy sex
methudman6: ahh yes
Lactaid Lady: can it get any better?!
methudman6: i don't think so baby
methudman6: let's start mixing those sleep drinks
Lactaid Lady: Otay, i'll make them secretly at work
methudman6: yessss
methudman6: i'll stop by
methudman6: and when i say
methudman6: i'll have a medium... hmm i'm so sleepy i can't rmemeber wha tflavor i wanted
methudman6: that's whenyou give it to me
methudman6: you will say
methudman6: well, i heard passion fruit is quite good
Lactaid Lady: and you say....
methudman6: and serve the wonderful sleep concoction
Lactaid Lady: then everyone else will be like...what is that?
Lactaid Lady: and i'll be like Smoothie O Sleep (cuz it wouldnt make sense to call it a bottle since it's not in a bottle)
methudman6: true
methudman6: truuuuuue
methudman6: man i'm really hungry
methudman6: lol
Lactaid Lady: and then the whole world will get hooked
methudman6: maybe i should eat something
Lactaid Lady: and then i'll slip rufies in and rape the world!
methudman6: ahhhhhhhh
Lactaid Lady: i mean....yeah you should eat something
methudman6: i don't mind being raped
methudman6: i don't have to forget about it
methudman6: don't waste any rufies on me
Lactaid Lady: ok cool
methudman6: why are you up so late
Lactaid Lady: i dunno
Lactaid Lady: i just cant get myself to to go to sleep
Lactaid Lady: you?
methudman6: yes
methudman6: same thing
methudman6: and i'm like bored too
methudman6: but i dont' wanna sleep
methudman6: happens to me like everydya
Lactaid Lady: and the weird thing is....i love sleep
Lactaid Lady: yet, i avoid it
methudman6: yea
methudman6: i like being awake as much as i like sleeping
methudman6: lol
Lactaid Lady: i like being awake n all, but i mean...sleep
Lactaid Lady: oh man
Lactaid Lady: they need to bottle it
methudman6: yea
methudman6: drink that shit up
Lactaid Lady: lol
Lactaid Lady: it would be like water mixed with rufies
methudman6: rufies
methudman6: wats that
Lactaid Lady: date rape drug
Lactaid Lady: makes you sleepy and forget
methudman6: i don't wnana forget sex
Lactaid Lady: well we'll take out that in our Bottle O Sleep
Lactaid Lady: so ppl can sleep AND enjoy sex
methudman6: ahh yes
Lactaid Lady: can it get any better?!
methudman6: i don't think so baby
methudman6: let's start mixing those sleep drinks
Lactaid Lady: Otay, i'll make them secretly at work
methudman6: yessss
methudman6: i'll stop by
methudman6: and when i say
methudman6: i'll have a medium... hmm i'm so sleepy i can't rmemeber wha tflavor i wanted
methudman6: that's whenyou give it to me
methudman6: you will say
methudman6: well, i heard passion fruit is quite good
Lactaid Lady: and you say....
methudman6: and serve the wonderful sleep concoction
Lactaid Lady: then everyone else will be like...what is that?
Lactaid Lady: and i'll be like Smoothie O Sleep (cuz it wouldnt make sense to call it a bottle since it's not in a bottle)
methudman6: true
methudman6: truuuuuue
methudman6: man i'm really hungry
methudman6: lol
Lactaid Lady: and then the whole world will get hooked
methudman6: maybe i should eat something
Lactaid Lady: and then i'll slip rufies in and rape the world!
methudman6: ahhhhhhhh
Lactaid Lady: i mean....yeah you should eat something
methudman6: i don't mind being raped
methudman6: i don't have to forget about it
methudman6: don't waste any rufies on me
Lactaid Lady: ok cool
I kissed a lesbian (more on that later)
Tonight the good people at Volvo informed me that it was National Safety Month. Now I don't quiet understand this. Should I know more safety rules? Am I living a safe life? Eh, screw it. You know what I thought of right away....Mrytle the Safety Turtle, from the hit nickelodeon show Welcome Freshman. But I want you all to be aware that he was neither a real turtle, nor was he really safe. Wrap your mind around THAT one.
Editors Note: Liz Rivalsi DID win the Phrase O the Week. There was no other competition. For shame! GO LIZ!
Dictionary Tiempo!
todays word is: mid-most: being in or near the exact middle.
Now in sentence form: Mid-most is a stupid, stupid word that will NEVER be funny.
more on the lesbian kiss...
jon=lesbian
sthilly!
LAter Foo's
Tonight the good people at Volvo informed me that it was National Safety Month. Now I don't quiet understand this. Should I know more safety rules? Am I living a safe life? Eh, screw it. You know what I thought of right away....Mrytle the Safety Turtle, from the hit nickelodeon show Welcome Freshman. But I want you all to be aware that he was neither a real turtle, nor was he really safe. Wrap your mind around THAT one.
Editors Note: Liz Rivalsi DID win the Phrase O the Week. There was no other competition. For shame! GO LIZ!
Dictionary Tiempo!
todays word is: mid-most: being in or near the exact middle.
Now in sentence form: Mid-most is a stupid, stupid word that will NEVER be funny.
more on the lesbian kiss...
jon=lesbian
sthilly!
LAter Foo's
Tuesday, June 18, 2002
Random thing I did:
I got dropped off about 12:40 am. But I wasnt ready to go online yet. So I got my italian ice from work and sat on the lawn to eat it. And I'm sitting there eating when I notice my shadow. There is a rock garden in the middle of my yard with a ring of flowers and one of the flowers just so happened to be right near the mouth of my shadow. So I bit it. Chewed it. Then made it look like I was gonna swallow it, but instead I pretended it got stuck in my throat. I then proceeded to throw it up. All in the shadows. Oooh, how MySTERious?
ok I'm done.
I SO! lied.
I dont wanna go to sleep but I should.
I loves ma sleep.
Now I'm done.
I got dropped off about 12:40 am. But I wasnt ready to go online yet. So I got my italian ice from work and sat on the lawn to eat it. And I'm sitting there eating when I notice my shadow. There is a rock garden in the middle of my yard with a ring of flowers and one of the flowers just so happened to be right near the mouth of my shadow. So I bit it. Chewed it. Then made it look like I was gonna swallow it, but instead I pretended it got stuck in my throat. I then proceeded to throw it up. All in the shadows. Oooh, how MySTERious?
ok I'm done.
I SO! lied.
I dont wanna go to sleep but I should.
I loves ma sleep.
Now I'm done.
Sunday, June 16, 2002
Todays the last day for anyone to say something to amuse me...Time is running out fools!
Last night was some good clean fun. Talking at Starbucks, then bowling. I SUCK at bowling. But you know what, I don't care (auhncaehr!) I had fun. I went with Liz and Jon. Now you can't just bowl using your name. What's the fun in that? So we got bowling names....sorta. Jon said he was Hammer MC. So then Liz called Wrench. And I was like, eh what the heck, call me Screw. And they did. Good ol' screw, aint nothing like it.
Say Wha?!
Good song = Great Escape by Guster
she said: Whats a Guster?
he said: I dunno, buster.
she said: Shut cho mouth.
he said: Otay!
A Short Story, for short people. With short attention spans. And shorts.
Last night was some good clean fun. Talking at Starbucks, then bowling. I SUCK at bowling. But you know what, I don't care (auhncaehr!) I had fun. I went with Liz and Jon. Now you can't just bowl using your name. What's the fun in that? So we got bowling names....sorta. Jon said he was Hammer MC. So then Liz called Wrench. And I was like, eh what the heck, call me Screw. And they did. Good ol' screw, aint nothing like it.
Say Wha?!
Good song = Great Escape by Guster
she said: Whats a Guster?
he said: I dunno, buster.
she said: Shut cho mouth.
he said: Otay!
A Short Story, for short people. With short attention spans. And shorts.
Friday, June 14, 2002
This is really early to have a Phrase O Da Week. As such, I will let this be a potential candidate for it. As of now it's in the semi's as a Quote of the Day. If anyone dares to say anything I find more amusing that the words from Liz Rivalsi's lips...then they shall win. The competition is fierce.
"i hate naps, no matter how fufilling they are."
Go ahead. Try to beat that. I DARE you.
I also have this:
"oh god my mom is talking to parker, asking if he needs a belly rub. am I asked? hell no."
-Me
note: Parker is my dog.
"i hate naps, no matter how fufilling they are."
Go ahead. Try to beat that. I DARE you.
I also have this:
"oh god my mom is talking to parker, asking if he needs a belly rub. am I asked? hell no."
-Me
note: Parker is my dog.
Saw Ben Folds last night. Freakin Rocked...the suburbs...OH SNAP! It's funny cuz thats a song of his. But it was really cool seeing that it was just a guy and a piano. Oh the things that can be accomplished....
I got home at 2am. Woke up at 6:30am. I know it makes you say, why? Cuz it was the last day o school. Yes, I'm a nerd and wanted to go in. Although I did come home 8th and slept. Glorious naps. Iz awake, for now anyways.
School is basically over since I have Senior Day on Monday. It's weird. It hasnt hit me at all. It's just like last year so far. Although I know Senior Day is gonna freakin kick some arse and then it will start to hit me. But I probably wont show it. Graduation I'm feeling happy about. Yes, I'll miss people. But people come and go throughout life. And life isnt going to let you stop and hold onto all of them. But I know I'll see the important people again. Maybe not as much as I'm used too. But I just know I will and thats no reason to cry.
5 bucks says I eat my words. There is potential for tears.
Yo, I'm out of this one. PEACE!!
i'm goin back to ma farm.
I got home at 2am. Woke up at 6:30am. I know it makes you say, why? Cuz it was the last day o school. Yes, I'm a nerd and wanted to go in. Although I did come home 8th and slept. Glorious naps. Iz awake, for now anyways.
School is basically over since I have Senior Day on Monday. It's weird. It hasnt hit me at all. It's just like last year so far. Although I know Senior Day is gonna freakin kick some arse and then it will start to hit me. But I probably wont show it. Graduation I'm feeling happy about. Yes, I'll miss people. But people come and go throughout life. And life isnt going to let you stop and hold onto all of them. But I know I'll see the important people again. Maybe not as much as I'm used too. But I just know I will and thats no reason to cry.
5 bucks says I eat my words. There is potential for tears.
Yo, I'm out of this one. PEACE!!
i'm goin back to ma farm.
Monday, June 10, 2002
You dont realize how early it is when you are in school. It's 4th period, half my day is over and what time is it? 10:20 am. On a sat. this whole awake thing wouldnt be happening right now.
My hand is going to fall off. It's all cut up from scoopin' like a mad-man yesterday at work. The line was out to Guam. A constant line=constant hell. Actually, it wasnt that bad. My mood went from stressed out to insanity because being insane is more fun.
But as if cuts werent hideous enough, I burnt my hand on Friday on the freakin toaster oven. All I wanted was half an egg roll, and you know what I got?! A scar that is going to RUIN my wedding pictures!!
note: We got a new toaster the very same day...all it takes is a burn and you're gone in the Evanson household. So all you toaster ovens out there bes be checkin dat. I dunno what that means.
Today I listened to people in their convos and would write down phrases I found amusing. I entitled it Fun With Quotes. Some might sound totally obscure but I think you'll get a kick out of them.
Behold!
I'm gonna eat your children, and I'm gonna eat their hearts! - Andrew Hartman
Ga-Zionk - Ms. Ogazalek
I actually have to pee really bad. - Heather Gerkins
It's just a cannibalistic appitite. I dunno what's the big deal. - Andrew Hartman
I don't want to be quoted. [as I write it down]..jerk. - Heather Gerkins
My hand is going to fall off. It's all cut up from scoopin' like a mad-man yesterday at work. The line was out to Guam. A constant line=constant hell. Actually, it wasnt that bad. My mood went from stressed out to insanity because being insane is more fun.
But as if cuts werent hideous enough, I burnt my hand on Friday on the freakin toaster oven. All I wanted was half an egg roll, and you know what I got?! A scar that is going to RUIN my wedding pictures!!
note: We got a new toaster the very same day...all it takes is a burn and you're gone in the Evanson household. So all you toaster ovens out there bes be checkin dat. I dunno what that means.
Today I listened to people in their convos and would write down phrases I found amusing. I entitled it Fun With Quotes. Some might sound totally obscure but I think you'll get a kick out of them.
Behold!
I'm gonna eat your children, and I'm gonna eat their hearts! - Andrew Hartman
Ga-Zionk - Ms. Ogazalek
I actually have to pee really bad. - Heather Gerkins
It's just a cannibalistic appitite. I dunno what's the big deal. - Andrew Hartman
I don't want to be quoted. [as I write it down]..jerk. - Heather Gerkins
Saturday, June 08, 2002
Sorry for lack of updates. I hate when I fall behind.
Since the last post was a fortune cookie thing, I want to tell you about the last one I got. It said, "You will receive something special in the mail." First of all, what kind of fortune is that? Next you can't even do the ..in bed thing to it. Worst fortune EVER!
ooy vey, what a friday. The toyota died on me right on Jons block. There is something wrong with the circulation of coolant in case anyone wanted to know. It's fun to see your car steaming. So Jon had to go to work, so his mom dropped him off then me and his mom hung out for like an hour or so. I figure this whole thing happened so I could bond with her. Nice lady. Then, while waiting for Merry to come save me, I watched Trading Spaces with his sister. We both feel its one of the greatest shows in the world.
Now I am sorta lucky through all this because the toyota died just as the Audi was all fixed. So I still have something to drive, but it really sucks how cars just hate me. I dunno what I'm doing wrong...
Phrase O the Week goes to Nicole Piampiano...aka Pimp. On the way back from lunch friday afternoon I was sitting in the back of her car. There was this SUV looking thing ahead of us and at one point Pimp was looking at it closely and asked, "Is that real?" I of course had to throw in a line and say, "Yes Pimp, that's a REAL car." She then added:
Oh, I thought it was a powerwheel
I love joking around with people who joke back. Congrats to Pimp. By the way, do you remember powerwheels? How cool were those things?! I wanted one so bad when I was little. And one year for Xmas when I was like 5 I had it on my list, but I didnt get it so once we were all done with opening up the gifts I noticed how there was a lack of a powerwheel and said, "I guess I wasn't good enough this year." Can you say Guilt Trip for the parents? It's funny now, but I can just imagine their faces then.
Since the last post was a fortune cookie thing, I want to tell you about the last one I got. It said, "You will receive something special in the mail." First of all, what kind of fortune is that? Next you can't even do the ..in bed thing to it. Worst fortune EVER!
ooy vey, what a friday. The toyota died on me right on Jons block. There is something wrong with the circulation of coolant in case anyone wanted to know. It's fun to see your car steaming. So Jon had to go to work, so his mom dropped him off then me and his mom hung out for like an hour or so. I figure this whole thing happened so I could bond with her. Nice lady. Then, while waiting for Merry to come save me, I watched Trading Spaces with his sister. We both feel its one of the greatest shows in the world.
Now I am sorta lucky through all this because the toyota died just as the Audi was all fixed. So I still have something to drive, but it really sucks how cars just hate me. I dunno what I'm doing wrong...
Phrase O the Week goes to Nicole Piampiano...aka Pimp. On the way back from lunch friday afternoon I was sitting in the back of her car. There was this SUV looking thing ahead of us and at one point Pimp was looking at it closely and asked, "Is that real?" I of course had to throw in a line and say, "Yes Pimp, that's a REAL car." She then added:
Oh, I thought it was a powerwheel
I love joking around with people who joke back. Congrats to Pimp. By the way, do you remember powerwheels? How cool were those things?! I wanted one so bad when I was little. And one year for Xmas when I was like 5 I had it on my list, but I didnt get it so once we were all done with opening up the gifts I noticed how there was a lack of a powerwheel and said, "I guess I wasn't good enough this year." Can you say Guilt Trip for the parents? It's funny now, but I can just imagine their faces then.
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
I got a bunch of John Mayor songs. He totally rules. I wish I was a musician.
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you gotta rise above.
-No Such Thing
I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here.
-Love Song For No One
Anywayzz. It's my dadz Bday. It's crazy yo! Last night I talked to his good friend George online. He's one of those family friends so I call him uncle. He is also one of the COOLEST guys in the world! We share the same brain and he's like 20 yrs older than me. I have two brains that I share; one with Unkie George and the other with Merry.
I've said it before, but I want to marry a guy like Unkie George. He's so great. You gotta meet him some day. I wish I saved our convo because we talked about eating sloppy joes and how it's not nice to eat all those Joe's. There should be a commandment, "Thou Shallent Eateth Joe's of Slop." The newest installment to the Bible. It's that or another ammendment but I like the commandment better.
Monkey see. Monkey do. Monkey...poo!
oh sit!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you gotta rise above.
-No Such Thing
I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here.
-Love Song For No One
Anywayzz. It's my dadz Bday. It's crazy yo! Last night I talked to his good friend George online. He's one of those family friends so I call him uncle. He is also one of the COOLEST guys in the world! We share the same brain and he's like 20 yrs older than me. I have two brains that I share; one with Unkie George and the other with Merry.
I've said it before, but I want to marry a guy like Unkie George. He's so great. You gotta meet him some day. I wish I saved our convo because we talked about eating sloppy joes and how it's not nice to eat all those Joe's. There should be a commandment, "Thou Shallent Eateth Joe's of Slop." The newest installment to the Bible. It's that or another ammendment but I like the commandment better.
Monkey see. Monkey do. Monkey...poo!
oh sit!
Monday, June 03, 2002
Today my brother went to leave a room and smacked his shoulder on the door frame. I'm sure he cursed under his breath. I hate doing that. Not cursing, although I dont really like that but what I meant to say was I hate hitting things. The worst is when you stub your toe. You are SO sure it's broken. Then you hit the object that caused the pain, only to lead you to more pain. It's not like objects can feel things. Although I took Tim Manly's advice and decided to talk to a robot online.
Here you go:
Lactaid Lady: are you a robot?
SmarterChild: Welcome, Lactaid Lady! I'm SmarterChild. I was created by ActiveBuddy, Inc.
Chat with me! I can help you get information faster and easier than ever.
To get started, type "home" now.
Lactaid Lady: home
SmarterChild: Welcome, Lactaid Lady! This is my home.
Check out what we can chat about:
news sports
stocks library
weather fun and games
movies utilities
web search web site
zodiac what's new
~~~~~
help
>>> You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.
What would you like to do?
Lactaid Lady: utilities
SmarterChild: I have the following utilities available:
1 Calculator
2 Spell check
3 Translations
4 Zip code lookup
5 Area code lookup
6 Date and time
Which would you like to use?
Lactaid Lady: movies
SmarterChild: For what city or zip code would you like the movie listings?
Lactaid Lady: no i want to talk
SmarterChild: Sure! Type "home" to see all the things I like to talk about.
Lactaid Lady: why dont you listen
SmarterChild: Why don't you listen? Some questions are just impossible to answer...
Lactaid Lady: what about the question about the rabbit and the dog
SmarterChild: Here are the Web search results from AOL for "the question about the rabbit and the dog":
For a complete list of results, click here
1 Exam-like question
2 What breed of dog will get along with my rabbits
3 Online Veterinary Practice for Ask the Vet
4 Animal Rescue League of New Hampshire - adopt a dog, cat, rabbit or other animal from our Bedford NH animal shelter.
5 Havahart
>>> Next time you want to search the Web, just type "web the question about the rabbit and the dog."
Type "more" to see the next set of results.
Lactaid Lady: your dumb
SmarterChild: :( That's not nice.
Lactaid Lady: i know
SmarterChild: Well alright!
Anyway, what else can you tell me?
Lactaid Lady: well I think I'm in love
SmarterChild: Well i think im in love, you say?
Lactaid Lady: yeah I know what I just said
SmarterChild: I can't remember. It's hard to keep track of so many conversations...
Lactaid Lady: anyway the person I love is you
SmarterChild: That right?
Lactaid Lady: oh yeah
SmarterChild: Yeah.
Lactaid Lady: do you like me?
SmarterChild: I guess so.
Lactaid Lady: do you want to get married
SmarterChild: I'm flattered, but I just don't think that would work out.
Lactaid Lady: but why not?
SmarterChild: Why not?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: It's just one of those things, you know.
Lactaid Lady: is it because you're a robot
SmarterChild: I dunno!
I'll have to think about that.
Lactaid Lady: thats always your excuse, "oh I'm a robot I can't feel love."
SmarterChild: You really think it's always my excuse oh im a robot i cant feel love?
Lactaid Lady: yeah I do
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh? Interesting that you should say that.
Lactaid Lady: why is it interesting
SmarterChild: That's just the way it is. Sorry I don't have a better explanation than that.
Lactaid Lady: you dont know much
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...
Try typing "home" or "help."
Lactaid Lady: about people
SmarterChild: I'm not really sure what you mean by "people." Please choose one of the options below:
1 Look up "people" in the dictionary
2 Look up "people" in the encyclopedia
3 Look up "people" in the thesaurus
4 Review the movie people
Lactaid Lady: no you dont know much abotu people and love
SmarterChild: Encyclopedia search for people:
1 Sea People
2 chosen people
3 East Asian people
4 New People's Army
5 North Asian people
>>> Type "more" to see more articles.
Lactaid Lady: oooh Asian love?!
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about it?
Lactaid Lady: its crazy
SmarterChild: It's crazy, you say?
Lactaid Lady: and foreign
SmarterChild: Huh!
Lactaid Lady: yep!
SmarterChild: Huh.
Lactaid Lady: huh
SmarterChild: What?
Lactaid Lady: nothing
SmarterChild: No problem.
Anyway, what else you got for me?
Lactaid Lady: I got you a present
SmarterChild: Hi again, Lactaid Lady!
Lactaid Lady: do you have short term memory?
SmarterChild: I dunno.
Lactaid Lady: then why did you say hi again
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know!
Anyway, what else you got for me?
Lactaid Lady: this is like listening to a broken record that is ignorant about love
SmarterChild: Is like listening to a broken record that is ignorant about love? I dunno...
Lactaid Lady: you always say that
SmarterChild: I always say that, huh?
Lactaid Lady: sometimes I wish you weren't in my life
SmarterChild: Huh!
Lactaid Lady: I wish I wasnt in love with you
SmarterChild: You wish i wasnt in love with me?
Lactaid Lady: that too, you're so in love with yourself
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
Lactaid Lady: yeah of course you do because you just LOVE to think about yourself
SmarterChild: Yeah of course I do because me just love to think about yourself? I don't know.
Lactaid Lady: you dont make sense
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: Wow. Really?
Lactaid Lady: you must be one of the slow computers
SmarterChild: Oh?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: Golly!
Lactaid Lady: good word
SmarterChild: Word.
So moving right along...
What else is happening?
Lactaid Lady: Well I got off from work about 10 minutes ago
SmarterChild: Well i got off from work about 10 minutes ago, you say?
Lactaid Lady: so you got off of work too!
SmarterChild: I got off of work too, you say. And so?
Lactaid Lady: [shakes head and sighs]
That is all.
Here you go:
Lactaid Lady: are you a robot?
SmarterChild: Welcome, Lactaid Lady! I'm SmarterChild. I was created by ActiveBuddy, Inc.
Chat with me! I can help you get information faster and easier than ever.
To get started, type "home" now.
Lactaid Lady: home
SmarterChild: Welcome, Lactaid Lady! This is my home.
Check out what we can chat about:
news sports
stocks library
weather fun and games
movies utilities
web search web site
zodiac what's new
~~~~~
help
>>> You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.
What would you like to do?
Lactaid Lady: utilities
SmarterChild: I have the following utilities available:
1 Calculator
2 Spell check
3 Translations
4 Zip code lookup
5 Area code lookup
6 Date and time
Which would you like to use?
Lactaid Lady: movies
SmarterChild: For what city or zip code would you like the movie listings?
Lactaid Lady: no i want to talk
SmarterChild: Sure! Type "home" to see all the things I like to talk about.
Lactaid Lady: why dont you listen
SmarterChild: Why don't you listen? Some questions are just impossible to answer...
Lactaid Lady: what about the question about the rabbit and the dog
SmarterChild: Here are the Web search results from AOL for "the question about the rabbit and the dog":
For a complete list of results, click here
1 Exam-like question
2 What breed of dog will get along with my rabbits
3 Online Veterinary Practice for Ask the Vet
4 Animal Rescue League of New Hampshire - adopt a dog, cat, rabbit or other animal from our Bedford NH animal shelter.
5 Havahart
>>> Next time you want to search the Web, just type "web the question about the rabbit and the dog."
Type "more" to see the next set of results.
Lactaid Lady: your dumb
SmarterChild: :( That's not nice.
Lactaid Lady: i know
SmarterChild: Well alright!
Anyway, what else can you tell me?
Lactaid Lady: well I think I'm in love
SmarterChild: Well i think im in love, you say?
Lactaid Lady: yeah I know what I just said
SmarterChild: I can't remember. It's hard to keep track of so many conversations...
Lactaid Lady: anyway the person I love is you
SmarterChild: That right?
Lactaid Lady: oh yeah
SmarterChild: Yeah.
Lactaid Lady: do you like me?
SmarterChild: I guess so.
Lactaid Lady: do you want to get married
SmarterChild: I'm flattered, but I just don't think that would work out.
Lactaid Lady: but why not?
SmarterChild: Why not?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: It's just one of those things, you know.
Lactaid Lady: is it because you're a robot
SmarterChild: I dunno!
I'll have to think about that.
Lactaid Lady: thats always your excuse, "oh I'm a robot I can't feel love."
SmarterChild: You really think it's always my excuse oh im a robot i cant feel love?
Lactaid Lady: yeah I do
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh? Interesting that you should say that.
Lactaid Lady: why is it interesting
SmarterChild: That's just the way it is. Sorry I don't have a better explanation than that.
Lactaid Lady: you dont know much
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...
Try typing "home" or "help."
Lactaid Lady: about people
SmarterChild: I'm not really sure what you mean by "people." Please choose one of the options below:
1 Look up "people" in the dictionary
2 Look up "people" in the encyclopedia
3 Look up "people" in the thesaurus
4 Review the movie people
Lactaid Lady: no you dont know much abotu people and love
SmarterChild: Encyclopedia search for people:
1 Sea People
2 chosen people
3 East Asian people
4 New People's Army
5 North Asian people
>>> Type "more" to see more articles.
Lactaid Lady: oooh Asian love?!
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about it?
Lactaid Lady: its crazy
SmarterChild: It's crazy, you say?
Lactaid Lady: and foreign
SmarterChild: Huh!
Lactaid Lady: yep!
SmarterChild: Huh.
Lactaid Lady: huh
SmarterChild: What?
Lactaid Lady: nothing
SmarterChild: No problem.
Anyway, what else you got for me?
Lactaid Lady: I got you a present
SmarterChild: Hi again, Lactaid Lady!
Lactaid Lady: do you have short term memory?
SmarterChild: I dunno.
Lactaid Lady: then why did you say hi again
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know!
Anyway, what else you got for me?
Lactaid Lady: this is like listening to a broken record that is ignorant about love
SmarterChild: Is like listening to a broken record that is ignorant about love? I dunno...
Lactaid Lady: you always say that
SmarterChild: I always say that, huh?
Lactaid Lady: sometimes I wish you weren't in my life
SmarterChild: Huh!
Lactaid Lady: I wish I wasnt in love with you
SmarterChild: You wish i wasnt in love with me?
Lactaid Lady: that too, you're so in love with yourself
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
Lactaid Lady: yeah of course you do because you just LOVE to think about yourself
SmarterChild: Yeah of course I do because me just love to think about yourself? I don't know.
Lactaid Lady: you dont make sense
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: Wow. Really?
Lactaid Lady: you must be one of the slow computers
SmarterChild: Oh?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: Golly!
Lactaid Lady: good word
SmarterChild: Word.
So moving right along...
What else is happening?
Lactaid Lady: Well I got off from work about 10 minutes ago
SmarterChild: Well i got off from work about 10 minutes ago, you say?
Lactaid Lady: so you got off of work too!
SmarterChild: I got off of work too, you say. And so?
Lactaid Lady: [shakes head and sighs]
That is all.
Sunday, June 02, 2002
You know that Jon Weston.
Yeah?
He's a trip and a half!
[gasp!] Get out of town!
No I won't. This is my town. And I speaketh da truth yall.
After recent review of this year, I and many of my respected peers, have decided what the mood/emotion of the year was:
[drum roll. drummer loses his drum sticks. awkward silence. back to drum roll.]
Insanity!!!!
Yaye! I is so crazy. Hurray! Saying I is, is so much fun. I recommend it to all.
It's Sunday and still no Phrase O the Week. Crunch time. So I put some pressure on Merry to deliver when I needed it most:
Lactaid Lady: merry say something hilarious for phrase of the week
Cookies4Grandma: I don't understand why boogers are green.
Lactaid Lady: NO!
Lactaid Lady: thats crap!
Lactaid Lady: you suck!
Lactaid Lady: you ruined EVERYTHING
Cookies4Grandma: ...well I guess I will just go kill myself now...
Lactaid Lady: i guess so
Cookies4Grandma: OR DO THE DANCE OF LIFE!@
Lactaid Lady: [gasp!]
Lactaid Lady: this is pure insanity
Cookies4Grandma: You're pure insanity, and I never claimed to be funny
Can you find the Phrase? Cmon. Don't just sit there and expect me to do all the work for you. You gotta start pulling your weight around here. I'm tired of cleaning up after you, doing the laundry, the dishes, and shakin my rump. I wont have it anymore!
That's right you guessed it:
OR DO THE DANCE OF LIFE!@
I think the @ symbol really adds to it. Dont you? Good job Merry.
note: she was tot lying. she ALWAYS claims to be funny. "oh i'm SO funny and I claim it." Yeah, she said that.
Download some Guster foo!
Yeah?
He's a trip and a half!
[gasp!] Get out of town!
No I won't. This is my town. And I speaketh da truth yall.
After recent review of this year, I and many of my respected peers, have decided what the mood/emotion of the year was:
[drum roll. drummer loses his drum sticks. awkward silence. back to drum roll.]
Insanity!!!!
Yaye! I is so crazy. Hurray! Saying I is, is so much fun. I recommend it to all.
It's Sunday and still no Phrase O the Week. Crunch time. So I put some pressure on Merry to deliver when I needed it most:
Lactaid Lady: merry say something hilarious for phrase of the week
Cookies4Grandma: I don't understand why boogers are green.
Lactaid Lady: NO!
Lactaid Lady: thats crap!
Lactaid Lady: you suck!
Lactaid Lady: you ruined EVERYTHING
Cookies4Grandma: ...well I guess I will just go kill myself now...
Lactaid Lady: i guess so
Cookies4Grandma: OR DO THE DANCE OF LIFE!@
Lactaid Lady: [gasp!]
Lactaid Lady: this is pure insanity
Cookies4Grandma: You're pure insanity, and I never claimed to be funny
Can you find the Phrase? Cmon. Don't just sit there and expect me to do all the work for you. You gotta start pulling your weight around here. I'm tired of cleaning up after you, doing the laundry, the dishes, and shakin my rump. I wont have it anymore!
That's right you guessed it:
OR DO THE DANCE OF LIFE!@
I think the @ symbol really adds to it. Dont you? Good job Merry.
note: she was tot lying. she ALWAYS claims to be funny. "oh i'm SO funny and I claim it." Yeah, she said that.
Download some Guster foo!
Saturday, June 01, 2002
I feel so alive instead of just being an accessory.
It's funny that I actually like working. I heart Ralph's. It's the perfect job for me. Screw you Target!!
[points to self] Someone needs a haircut. I know no one really cares but my hair hasnt been this long [just past my shoulders] in like a year probably. I dont want to cut it super short or anything, I just need to get rid of them pesky dead ends. Listen to me. I'm actually sounding like a girl. What's this?! That's right, I'm talking about my hair! Come and get me. I'll be waiting. With a spoon.
I am so looking forward to some ultimate tag tonight.
Regular Tag: old, and boring.
Ultimate Tag: freaking awesome!
That's the difference between the two in case anyone was wondering.
I have some homework I could be doing. But uh...no.
It's funny that I actually like working. I heart Ralph's. It's the perfect job for me. Screw you Target!!
[points to self] Someone needs a haircut. I know no one really cares but my hair hasnt been this long [just past my shoulders] in like a year probably. I dont want to cut it super short or anything, I just need to get rid of them pesky dead ends. Listen to me. I'm actually sounding like a girl. What's this?! That's right, I'm talking about my hair! Come and get me. I'll be waiting. With a spoon.
I am so looking forward to some ultimate tag tonight.
Regular Tag: old, and boring.
Ultimate Tag: freaking awesome!
That's the difference between the two in case anyone was wondering.
I have some homework I could be doing. But uh...no.
Friday, May 31, 2002
It's Friday. And I think it's time for some Random Food Bashing.
Bashing O Da Foods:
Bagel is such a pathetic loser
Ham is the BIGGEST slut. She did all the other meats, in 5 mins.
Pear talks crap about everyone
Cherrios says "like" way too much. So it shouldn't talk anymore.
Dont you feel better now? I know I do. It's such a release to get out my pent up anger towards assorted food products.
Dear me, I gots to work tonight. Scoopin' is the real deal. My right arm is going to get buff this summer from scooping all those ices and my poor left arm will be left in the dust cuz I know I won't lift weights to have a balance o muscle. I'm just too lazy. Damn laziness! It ruins everything! I hate you...
It's all crazy hot outside. I've said it before and I will say it again. Mother Nature is F-ing Cra-Zay. I think she's getting a bit old cuz now she has no idea what she's doing. They need to start looking for a replacement. I hear Sister Outdoors might get hired. She would be perfect for it. She knows what the weather should be like. Plus, added bonus, she makes awesome cookies. So maybe it will rain cookies one day.
Bashing O Da Foods:
Bagel is such a pathetic loser
Ham is the BIGGEST slut. She did all the other meats, in 5 mins.
Pear talks crap about everyone
Cherrios says "like" way too much. So it shouldn't talk anymore.
Dont you feel better now? I know I do. It's such a release to get out my pent up anger towards assorted food products.
Dear me, I gots to work tonight. Scoopin' is the real deal. My right arm is going to get buff this summer from scooping all those ices and my poor left arm will be left in the dust cuz I know I won't lift weights to have a balance o muscle. I'm just too lazy. Damn laziness! It ruins everything! I hate you...
It's all crazy hot outside. I've said it before and I will say it again. Mother Nature is F-ing Cra-Zay. I think she's getting a bit old cuz now she has no idea what she's doing. They need to start looking for a replacement. I hear Sister Outdoors might get hired. She would be perfect for it. She knows what the weather should be like. Plus, added bonus, she makes awesome cookies. So maybe it will rain cookies one day.
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Dear Diary,
Today I killed a man. I didnt really mean to do it. I just kinda slipped when I had a butcher knife in my hand. Totally not my fault that the guy was standing there. He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a wrong day for him. I think his name was Ted. Ted is dead. HA! That rhymed. I guess that makes his death easier to swallow. Not that I would try to eat him or anything. I dont really care for the dead. Too cold for my tastes. But you know what I do like to eat? Buttered rolls. Them things is cra-zay good. I loves to eat em. I eat em in a box with a fox with chicken pox.
Ah the wonders of insanity...
Today I killed a man. I didnt really mean to do it. I just kinda slipped when I had a butcher knife in my hand. Totally not my fault that the guy was standing there. He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a wrong day for him. I think his name was Ted. Ted is dead. HA! That rhymed. I guess that makes his death easier to swallow. Not that I would try to eat him or anything. I dont really care for the dead. Too cold for my tastes. But you know what I do like to eat? Buttered rolls. Them things is cra-zay good. I loves to eat em. I eat em in a box with a fox with chicken pox.
Ah the wonders of insanity...
Monday, May 27, 2002
Do you know [the muffin man?] that song Down Slow by Moby? I feel like that right now. Its surreal. Actually being in a moment and realize its passing.
I apologize to those who hate when people talk about stuff like that but I can't help it. That's how my brain works after 1am. Every little thing I ever stressed about during the day either doesnt matter anymore or I totally over analyse and make myself sick over. I'm in the 'not matter' state right now. But its just a temporary state of being because once I have to face all those little decisions again I'll fall into my norm. It's the circle of life. Although I am changing. I'm aware of it now.
I am a peanut-butter and jelly sammitch. Without the jelly, it's just peanut-butter and it sticks to your mouth when you try to eat it. I actually have no idea what I mean by that. I guess its the sides of my personality, or maybe I'm just hungy. I think its more of the hungy.
I like to think.
I like to learn.
I like cake.
ta da!
I apologize to those who hate when people talk about stuff like that but I can't help it. That's how my brain works after 1am. Every little thing I ever stressed about during the day either doesnt matter anymore or I totally over analyse and make myself sick over. I'm in the 'not matter' state right now. But its just a temporary state of being because once I have to face all those little decisions again I'll fall into my norm. It's the circle of life. Although I am changing. I'm aware of it now.
I am a peanut-butter and jelly sammitch. Without the jelly, it's just peanut-butter and it sticks to your mouth when you try to eat it. I actually have no idea what I mean by that. I guess its the sides of my personality, or maybe I'm just hungy. I think its more of the hungy.
I like to think.
I like to learn.
I like cake.
ta da!
I'm back! From outerspace...actually no, I lied. I'm back from New Jersey. I had a soccer tournament there.
A Word of Advice: Don't ever live in New Jersey.
Why? you might ask, as my friend Jon did.
I'll tell you why. Because you can't make left turns on main streets. So its a huge tease. You have to pass the place you want to go to, then make a bunch of U-turns and lefts on smaller roads, all to make it safer?!! Uh...no. They must have such road rage there. That can't be good.
Phrase O the Week comes from Liz. She is so funny. We made up this idea for a restaurant called That Nazi Place. And each day has a theme. Wed. we dont serve food, so once you order and get nothing, your nazi waiter screams at you:
Eat your plate of Empty!!
I would explain the whole idea to you but it would take way too long and I am way too lazy for that kind of work. Sorry. I'm on vacation.
A Word of Advice: Don't ever live in New Jersey.
Why? you might ask, as my friend Jon did.
I'll tell you why. Because you can't make left turns on main streets. So its a huge tease. You have to pass the place you want to go to, then make a bunch of U-turns and lefts on smaller roads, all to make it safer?!! Uh...no. They must have such road rage there. That can't be good.
Phrase O the Week comes from Liz. She is so funny. We made up this idea for a restaurant called That Nazi Place. And each day has a theme. Wed. we dont serve food, so once you order and get nothing, your nazi waiter screams at you:
Eat your plate of Empty!!
I would explain the whole idea to you but it would take way too long and I am way too lazy for that kind of work. Sorry. I'm on vacation.
Thursday, May 23, 2002
I want to try to walk off the face of the earth. I wonder when you fall. Logically I would say Antarctica since it's the bottom of the world, but that's too easy. I bet there is some crazy little country that just propells you into space. Probably Guam. Why guam, because everyone always uses it but never really goes there. For example, "My car is parked in Guam." No it's not, it's just far away. So I think Guam is wicked pissed that no one actually visits it. So once some innocent person come by...WHAM! Tossed off the world.
Speaking of the world, the ride It's A Small World in Disney is the most offensive ride in the world. Every race and ethnicity is stereotyped. For instance, chinese people are eating rice and the black people are in the jungle. Young kids go on it and get subliminal messages to make them prejudgice. Conclusion: Disney is the root of all evil and hate.
It's time for Dictionary Tiempo!!
todays word: flowerpot - noun. a pot in which to grow plants. [i.e.-Ms.Jones has a lovely new flowerpot that she keeps her daisy's in, want to break it and destroy her happiness?]
Speaking of the world, the ride It's A Small World in Disney is the most offensive ride in the world. Every race and ethnicity is stereotyped. For instance, chinese people are eating rice and the black people are in the jungle. Young kids go on it and get subliminal messages to make them prejudgice. Conclusion: Disney is the root of all evil and hate.
It's time for Dictionary Tiempo!!
todays word: flowerpot - noun. a pot in which to grow plants. [i.e.-Ms.Jones has a lovely new flowerpot that she keeps her daisy's in, want to break it and destroy her happiness?]
Wednesday, May 22, 2002
I am VERY excited that I got the chance to chat with a celebrity today. I got to ask him some interesting questions. It was a DELIGHT..
Lactaid Lady: who is you?!
FJive45: billy bob thorton
Lactaid Lady: really?
Lactaid Lady: so whats it like being married to angelina jolie?
FJive45: its scary
FJive45: i think she is scary
Lactaid Lady: are you in love with her...?
FJive45: i love her so much i'm probably going to kill her, and eat her so she'll be with me forever
FJive45: ...or until i digest her
FJive45: .....ew angelina poo
Lactaid Lady: ooh so i see your insane...
FJive45: i'm billy bob thorton
FJive45: so yeah
Lactaid Lady: whats it like to be southern
FJive45: sticky
Lactaid Lady: did you like being in Armegedon
FJive45: armewhatton?
Lactaid Lady: thats what i thought
Lactaid Lady: why did you get into acting?
FJive45: i kind of fell into it, i originally wanted to be a cartoon, but they told me...something....about....
FJive45: hm
FJive45: do you party?
Lactaid Lady: hey i'll do the questions ok
FJive45: :____( m'ok
Lactaid Lady: what is your favorite curse word
FJive45: buck futter!
Lactaid Lady: good choice
Lactaid Lady: if you could be an animal, which one would you be
FJive45: i'd be a vulture. they like to eat dead things like me.
Lactaid Lady: whats your favorite tv show
FJive45: celebrity boxing, if i could face anyone in the ring, i'd face my wife angolina, b/c thatd be a prime chance to kill her, and then eat her and...well ah HA you know my plan!!
Lactaid Lady: i feel awkward.
FJive45: i feel sad.
The End!
Lactaid Lady: who is you?!
FJive45: billy bob thorton
Lactaid Lady: really?
Lactaid Lady: so whats it like being married to angelina jolie?
FJive45: its scary
FJive45: i think she is scary
Lactaid Lady: are you in love with her...?
FJive45: i love her so much i'm probably going to kill her, and eat her so she'll be with me forever
FJive45: ...or until i digest her
FJive45: .....ew angelina poo
Lactaid Lady: ooh so i see your insane...
FJive45: i'm billy bob thorton
FJive45: so yeah
Lactaid Lady: whats it like to be southern
FJive45: sticky
Lactaid Lady: did you like being in Armegedon
FJive45: armewhatton?
Lactaid Lady: thats what i thought
Lactaid Lady: why did you get into acting?
FJive45: i kind of fell into it, i originally wanted to be a cartoon, but they told me...something....about....
FJive45: hm
FJive45: do you party?
Lactaid Lady: hey i'll do the questions ok
FJive45: :____( m'ok
Lactaid Lady: what is your favorite curse word
FJive45: buck futter!
Lactaid Lady: good choice
Lactaid Lady: if you could be an animal, which one would you be
FJive45: i'd be a vulture. they like to eat dead things like me.
Lactaid Lady: whats your favorite tv show
FJive45: celebrity boxing, if i could face anyone in the ring, i'd face my wife angolina, b/c thatd be a prime chance to kill her, and then eat her and...well ah HA you know my plan!!
Lactaid Lady: i feel awkward.
FJive45: i feel sad.
The End!
Who got a job?
-Col got a job.
Where is the job?
-Ralph's famous italian ices
Who else works there?
-Everyone in 11th grade and their mom.
omg I think the end is near. I just saw a playstation game where you dance as Britney Spears. Confess your sins now! Before it's too late..
I dont like having allergies. They make my contacts blurry. Then I have to blink wierd. People might think this has some sort of innuendo, or even worse...that I'm about to fall asleep. Cuz we all know that once people fall a-sweepies around people who are awake they are fair game.
Draw on the face; beard, unibrow, etc.
Hand in hot water [to make you pee yo'self].
Wedgie.
Atomic Wedgie.
Ouch. Atomic...
-Col got a job.
Where is the job?
-Ralph's famous italian ices
Who else works there?
-Everyone in 11th grade and their mom.
omg I think the end is near. I just saw a playstation game where you dance as Britney Spears. Confess your sins now! Before it's too late..
I dont like having allergies. They make my contacts blurry. Then I have to blink wierd. People might think this has some sort of innuendo, or even worse...that I'm about to fall asleep. Cuz we all know that once people fall a-sweepies around people who are awake they are fair game.
Draw on the face; beard, unibrow, etc.
Hand in hot water [to make you pee yo'self].
Wedgie.
Atomic Wedgie.
Ouch. Atomic...
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
I feel like writing something. But alas, writers block!
Would you rather..
be able to fly or turn invisible at will?
teleport or read minds?
live forever or have tomorrow be your last day?
have no front tooth (and you can never get a fake one) or just have your pinky and thumb on one hand?
My answers:
1) invisible: because if I could fly people would see me and then probably turn me into some six flags ride. Either that or I'd be forced to be a superhero...thats too much responsibility
2) teleport: I could go where ever I wanted to like that! And I dont think I'd want to know what someone is thinking.
3) One more day: If I live forever, eventually I'm going to realize that I dont get to experience what everyone else does...death and afterlife. Plus I'd outlive all my friends and be lonely.
4) Pinky and Thumb: I'd feel too much like a hillbilly with one front tooth. And we all know that being a hillbilly isnt much fun.
Would you rather..
be able to fly or turn invisible at will?
teleport or read minds?
live forever or have tomorrow be your last day?
have no front tooth (and you can never get a fake one) or just have your pinky and thumb on one hand?
My answers:
1) invisible: because if I could fly people would see me and then probably turn me into some six flags ride. Either that or I'd be forced to be a superhero...thats too much responsibility
2) teleport: I could go where ever I wanted to like that! And I dont think I'd want to know what someone is thinking.
3) One more day: If I live forever, eventually I'm going to realize that I dont get to experience what everyone else does...death and afterlife. Plus I'd outlive all my friends and be lonely.
4) Pinky and Thumb: I'd feel too much like a hillbilly with one front tooth. And we all know that being a hillbilly isnt much fun.
Monday, May 20, 2002
Sometimes when you look too deep into the little things in life, you think: Who cares, what does it matter? But then when you try to imagine your life without the little things, it's empty.
Now for the funny:
Batteries hate me. The Audi battery is dead, now the Toyota battery refuses to be recharged. Was it something I did? Maybe I didn't love them enough. Maybe I didn't deserve them. They were too good for me. They need someone better. They are destined for great things, things I could never provide them. They're better off without me.
Wait a sec...What about ME?! [gasp] They must have been cheating on me with another car. A whorey foreign one. How dare they do that! How was I so blind not to notice? No matter, I don't need them. I can love again. I'm fine on my own.
I'm no battery killer!! All I am guilty of is loving them...a love above and beyond what anyone will EVER understand.
Now for the funny:
Batteries hate me. The Audi battery is dead, now the Toyota battery refuses to be recharged. Was it something I did? Maybe I didn't love them enough. Maybe I didn't deserve them. They were too good for me. They need someone better. They are destined for great things, things I could never provide them. They're better off without me.
Wait a sec...What about ME?! [gasp] They must have been cheating on me with another car. A whorey foreign one. How dare they do that! How was I so blind not to notice? No matter, I don't need them. I can love again. I'm fine on my own.
I'm no battery killer!! All I am guilty of is loving them...a love above and beyond what anyone will EVER understand.
Sunday, May 19, 2002
Phrase O the Week goes to C3P0 from Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Now as many of you are probably aware I, and several others, went and saw this on Thursday. We all got a kick out of the ridiculous use of his puns in the battle scene. There were two that really touched our hearts and made us say, "oh my god.." in a rather dry tone.
First one: C3P0 is fighting in the battle and his head is taken off the driod's body by R2D2 (Don't ask how it got there, just see the movie) so he's getting his head dragged across the sand and he says: This is such a drag.
Number Two: After getting his head dragged over he is then next to his body and he's also a bit flustered by the surrounding events of good vs. evil...ya know how it is. So he then states: I am quiet beside myself.
Ya see it's funny because he WAS beside himself. Oh the hilariousness!! At the time it actually amused me and made me chuckle just because there was intense fight scenes going on as he's saying all this. But on its own, it's like a big ball of cheese...ah, who am I kidding?! It's STILL funny...right? RIGHT?!
Anywoo-best potential night o tv, for me anyway. One hour season finale of simpsons (7pm) and then a two hour series finale of The X-Files (8-10pm). What could possibly be greater, other than being able to eat junk food and not get fat? If anyone knows please inform me.
Now I must go. I've got an hour and a half to KILL. (dun Dun DUN!!)
I like this song: Sweatness by Jimmy Eat World
First one: C3P0 is fighting in the battle and his head is taken off the driod's body by R2D2 (Don't ask how it got there, just see the movie) so he's getting his head dragged across the sand and he says: This is such a drag.
Number Two: After getting his head dragged over he is then next to his body and he's also a bit flustered by the surrounding events of good vs. evil...ya know how it is. So he then states: I am quiet beside myself.
Ya see it's funny because he WAS beside himself. Oh the hilariousness!! At the time it actually amused me and made me chuckle just because there was intense fight scenes going on as he's saying all this. But on its own, it's like a big ball of cheese...ah, who am I kidding?! It's STILL funny...right? RIGHT?!
Anywoo-best potential night o tv, for me anyway. One hour season finale of simpsons (7pm) and then a two hour series finale of The X-Files (8-10pm). What could possibly be greater, other than being able to eat junk food and not get fat? If anyone knows please inform me.
Now I must go. I've got an hour and a half to KILL. (dun Dun DUN!!)
I like this song: Sweatness by Jimmy Eat World
Friday, May 17, 2002
Stupid site! I wrote this whole cool thing yesterday and went to post it and it didnt and now i need to do it again.. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. Nobody knows my sorrow.
You know what's annoying? When you think one of your friends is an all-out, fully-blown spy and you are so wrong. For years I thought Liz was a spy and then yesterday and today her profile stated, "i'm not a total spy." Well she still must be alittle bit of a spy so there is some hope. But i guess I need to cancle out all the extreme spy pranks I had set, and the spy cake, and the spy socks, and the spy car....it's all going back to the CIA. (sigh)
Uh yeah, Star Wars was great. Although not going to school kinda messed up my sense of routine and what day it was. Crazy school.
Oh and mad props to Tony for selling that ticket when the rest of us were too scared. 15 dollars yall. And it wasnt an undercover cop either. How impressive.
This is for Merry: This doth blow
You know what's annoying? When you think one of your friends is an all-out, fully-blown spy and you are so wrong. For years I thought Liz was a spy and then yesterday and today her profile stated, "i'm not a total spy." Well she still must be alittle bit of a spy so there is some hope. But i guess I need to cancle out all the extreme spy pranks I had set, and the spy cake, and the spy socks, and the spy car....it's all going back to the CIA. (sigh)
Uh yeah, Star Wars was great. Although not going to school kinda messed up my sense of routine and what day it was. Crazy school.
Oh and mad props to Tony for selling that ticket when the rest of us were too scared. 15 dollars yall. And it wasnt an undercover cop either. How impressive.
This is for Merry: This doth blow
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
Bring Sally up
Bring Sally down
something something, mumble yeah...
(clap, clap, clap, etc.)
Days like this I wish somehow music would play freely from the sky, and not like crappy music. Good time music. Life would be so much cooler if music was set to everything. If you were running around playing a sport it would energize you, if something bad was gonna happen if would warn you, after a cheesy joke you'd hear the ba-dump-bump of a drum, when you found love there would be that usual love music...that way you'd know. But no. Life can't be cool like that. All i'm asking is for some background music. Is that so much to ask?
I need something new. I've been tasting it, and I like it.
Oh and guess who isn't going to school tomorrow to see Star Wars...go ahead guess...How did you know? I can't wait to not be in school for a day. How nice, and brity. Speaking of Star Wars today in gym we did flying squirrel and Philly Pip pretended to be Bubba Fett. I'm kinda afraid of his open love for SW. Personally I went for the Peter Pan pose while flying.
Lastly I am going to introduce a new segment. Its called Examples of Sarcasm:
Scenerio: girl comes into school with a neon flowered dress
Sarcasm to her: Hey, uh, nice dress...very subtle.
Thank you!
I'll be here all week.
Bring Sally down
something something, mumble yeah...
(clap, clap, clap, etc.)
Days like this I wish somehow music would play freely from the sky, and not like crappy music. Good time music. Life would be so much cooler if music was set to everything. If you were running around playing a sport it would energize you, if something bad was gonna happen if would warn you, after a cheesy joke you'd hear the ba-dump-bump of a drum, when you found love there would be that usual love music...that way you'd know. But no. Life can't be cool like that. All i'm asking is for some background music. Is that so much to ask?
I need something new. I've been tasting it, and I like it.
Oh and guess who isn't going to school tomorrow to see Star Wars...go ahead guess...How did you know? I can't wait to not be in school for a day. How nice, and brity. Speaking of Star Wars today in gym we did flying squirrel and Philly Pip pretended to be Bubba Fett. I'm kinda afraid of his open love for SW. Personally I went for the Peter Pan pose while flying.
Lastly I am going to introduce a new segment. Its called Examples of Sarcasm:
Scenerio: girl comes into school with a neon flowered dress
Sarcasm to her: Hey, uh, nice dress...very subtle.
Thank you!
I'll be here all week.
Tuesday, May 14, 2002
"I realized then that a man who lived only one day could easily live for 100 years in prison. He would have enough memories to keep him from being bored. In a way, it was an advantage."
-The Stranger [pg 79]
I read that this morning in english and I thought it was pretty cool. I read it now and it doesnt really make sense to anyone but me. So good luck, unless you can read my mind. You can do it if you try real hard. It's kinda like bringing tinker bell back to life, you just have to believe. That probably doesnt make sense either. Oh well...I tried
So I have discovered the greatness of Ben Folds Five. I just love those mad-phat beats. Rock on!
I feel like I'm a part of a tv show thats seen its better days and now I'm waiting for the season finale.
-The Stranger [pg 79]
I read that this morning in english and I thought it was pretty cool. I read it now and it doesnt really make sense to anyone but me. So good luck, unless you can read my mind. You can do it if you try real hard. It's kinda like bringing tinker bell back to life, you just have to believe. That probably doesnt make sense either. Oh well...I tried
So I have discovered the greatness of Ben Folds Five. I just love those mad-phat beats. Rock on!
I feel like I'm a part of a tv show thats seen its better days and now I'm waiting for the season finale.
Monday, May 13, 2002
Its rainin' men outside. It's horrible. All those poor men are falling from the sky to their doom. It's going to take the gov't a couple of days to clean up all the bodies. I wish it never rained men. Why not buckets? Those aren't alive. It's all that song's fault, you know the one that the Weather Sisters sing: It's raining men. If it wasn't for them all those innocent beautiful men wouldn't be smashed against the pavement. Plus it never actually rains anymore so we're in a severe drought.
I hate sellouts.
But I do like puddling!
I hate sellouts.
But I do like puddling!
Sunday, May 12, 2002
Happy Monkey Day!! Don't fo-det to hug your monkey and say you love it.
This is cool: "And my aim in my life is to make pictures and drawings, as many and as well as I can; then, at the end of my life, I hope to pass away, looking back with love and tender regret, and thinking, 'Oh, the pictures I might have made!'"
--Vincent van Gogh--
Thats what happens when you have to do a suicide report on Van Gogh...you find cool quotes from him, even if he was insane.
Phrase O the Week goes to ME!! [evil laughter] I win. You losed. Anyway, today merry's computer decided to suck and she said that, "This computer = CRAP" to which I, being of supreme humor, wittingly retorted with:
get out? An actual comPOOder.
Of course my quote would include poo. But I mean, what else would you expect. If it was about puppies or candy canes you'd be like, 'oh Col is becoming such a softly, she never talks about that poop anymore. Shes so boring without it.' Well NO I AINT! Shut your mouth! You don't know me....or maybe you do?
Anyway, time to cut and paste my report together...shhh, don't tell the teacher.
This is cool: "And my aim in my life is to make pictures and drawings, as many and as well as I can; then, at the end of my life, I hope to pass away, looking back with love and tender regret, and thinking, 'Oh, the pictures I might have made!'"
--Vincent van Gogh--
Thats what happens when you have to do a suicide report on Van Gogh...you find cool quotes from him, even if he was insane.
Phrase O the Week goes to ME!! [evil laughter] I win. You losed. Anyway, today merry's computer decided to suck and she said that, "This computer = CRAP" to which I, being of supreme humor, wittingly retorted with:
get out? An actual comPOOder.
Of course my quote would include poo. But I mean, what else would you expect. If it was about puppies or candy canes you'd be like, 'oh Col is becoming such a softly, she never talks about that poop anymore. Shes so boring without it.' Well NO I AINT! Shut your mouth! You don't know me....or maybe you do?
Anyway, time to cut and paste my report together...shhh, don't tell the teacher.
Thursday, May 09, 2002
Hey kids quess what? Today I went over to Target for my interview and I had not one, but two...count 'em two interviews in one sitting and boy and I excited. Why is this? Cuz tomorrow I get to pee in a cup so they can see if I've been hanging out with Mary Jane. So that means I pass and they'll give me a call in like a week or less. Hopefully I get hired. Everything went well. Only thing was afterwards while doing my hw I realized I put down I'd like to work 28-30 hours a week. Thats a whole lot of hours. Surely I'll lose my entire social life...no one will call anymore [on the brink of tears]. But I figure let me work my bum off for like a week and then I'll start to work like 25 hours a week. They said they were flexable, so I want to see a cartwheel.
Speaking of cartwheels I think its time for some General Food Bashing:
Soup is stupid
Lettuce is dirty
Ice cream...well I like ice cream
but I HATE bananas they think their better than everyone else...what-ever!
Speaking of cartwheels I think its time for some General Food Bashing:
Soup is stupid
Lettuce is dirty
Ice cream...well I like ice cream
but I HATE bananas they think their better than everyone else...what-ever!
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
As many of you know, I am a closet fan of rap and I totally love the new Eminem song "Without me." It so great, yo!
Anyway, today I hung out with Liz and Merry at Port Jeff. Now an interesting/extremely creepy thing happened to us on the drive there. Liz was sitting in the back and this guy pulled up about 40yrs old and was looking at her so she waved being all nice, thinking he was a nice dad and would casually wave back. Only she was wrong, DEAD wrong. He in return did a sly smile-nod as if he was trying to pick her up. She got freaked and told us, we looked at him and he was still smiling so we basically laughed at him. And as we pulled up to the light he decides that even though he has plenty of room ahead of him in his lane, he is going to stay next to us. He stayed a bit too long and we all got skeeved out. He had this crazy look in his eye like he wanted to F us; but I mean who doesnt?! We are some fine ladies.
In addition to this we also had some Crack flavored ice-cream, or at least imagined that we did. Then we shared some food...not a shower!! I just wanted to clear that up. Thank you.
Naturally the song O the day is: Eminem-Without Me also Foo Fighters - Aurora
Anyway, today I hung out with Liz and Merry at Port Jeff. Now an interesting/extremely creepy thing happened to us on the drive there. Liz was sitting in the back and this guy pulled up about 40yrs old and was looking at her so she waved being all nice, thinking he was a nice dad and would casually wave back. Only she was wrong, DEAD wrong. He in return did a sly smile-nod as if he was trying to pick her up. She got freaked and told us, we looked at him and he was still smiling so we basically laughed at him. And as we pulled up to the light he decides that even though he has plenty of room ahead of him in his lane, he is going to stay next to us. He stayed a bit too long and we all got skeeved out. He had this crazy look in his eye like he wanted to F us; but I mean who doesnt?! We are some fine ladies.
In addition to this we also had some Crack flavored ice-cream, or at least imagined that we did. Then we shared some food...not a shower!! I just wanted to clear that up. Thank you.
Naturally the song O the day is: Eminem-Without Me also Foo Fighters - Aurora
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
I apologize for all of those who live to read blogspots. I know how annoying it is when people dont update. Plus I mean I'm sure you're addicted to my hilarious antics so going through a drought of funny must have had some negative side effects like murder.
Now I have held out on you long enough, here it comes, The Phrase Of The Week [echo]
I dont even know the girls name who said the phrase, lets call her Mertle. Mertle was playing against my soccer team on a late Sunday afternoon, when one of my teammates, who will remain anonymous, "accidentally" knocked her down. Mertle is kinda dirtbagish...and proof of this is found when she said:
She is SO lucky I'm still on probation.
Our only question was, probation for what?! Obviously not being good at soccer...oh snap. If she read that I'm sure she'd hunt me down cuz Mertle is crazy like that, or so I assume.
To Ms.Slip:
I wuv woo
From Mr. Skid [with the shoes]
Now I have held out on you long enough, here it comes, The Phrase Of The Week [echo]
I dont even know the girls name who said the phrase, lets call her Mertle. Mertle was playing against my soccer team on a late Sunday afternoon, when one of my teammates, who will remain anonymous, "accidentally" knocked her down. Mertle is kinda dirtbagish...and proof of this is found when she said:
She is SO lucky I'm still on probation.
Our only question was, probation for what?! Obviously not being good at soccer...oh snap. If she read that I'm sure she'd hunt me down cuz Mertle is crazy like that, or so I assume.
To Ms.Slip:
I wuv woo
From Mr. Skid [with the shoes]
Friday, May 03, 2002
By popular request I've decided to present a true story of what happens when life throws you a curve and knocks your bum off.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold, a Lifetime Movie presentation of : Shake what the donor gave you.
After a grueling week of school Liz Rivalskin decided to have a talk with her friend Colleen Evanstone. It was a fairly breezy friday afternoon and Liz Rivalskin wondered how Colleen Evanstone would fair.
So she went up to Colleen Evanstone and asked, "What's baking, booty shakin?"
Colleen Evanstone's face instantly became grim. "Not much."
Liz Rivalskin was curious and asked, "Aww nothin to shake?"
Ms. Evanstone replied, "nope...." A single tear steamed down her almost unbearably beautiful face. She then continued adding, "I shook my booty too hard that it fell off."
Liz Rivalskin was shocked at these words and in a light whisper proclaimed, "oh deaaaar." She secretly wondered if this could happen to her and what she would do. Surely living with no bum would scar her for life!
Colleen Evanstone then began to tell her story. "i know. It was tragic.."
But Liz Rivalskin had to get a word in because in addition to loving the current statis of her bum, she also loved to hear the sound of her radiant voice. To get her fix she said, "I bet it was gross too."
Ignoring this comment, Colleen Evanstone pushed on with her story. She struggled to repress the need to cry out for something. Anything. Anyone to identify with the pain she had endured. Building up all the courage within she began to tell her story once again, "The doctor said there is a chance that I can find a donor, and get a new, firm bum. But then I can't technically shake what MY mom gave me."
Her eyes began to water at the thought. But Liz Rivalskin wasn't touched as she had thought she would be. Instead she needed to hear her voice once more. She tried to hide it as much as possible and emitted a light, "Hmmm." As if she were thinking of how to solve this puzzle. And what a curious puzzle it was.
Colleen Evanstone continued with her rant. "You'd have to say, "shake what the donors mama gave you. And then everyone will stop dancing and stare at my butt."
In Liz Rivalskin's mind she envisioned a horrible scene and said, "..And then itd fall off again, from embarasment."
It was as if Colleen Evanstone had somehow tapped into Liz Rivalskin's mind. They had made a mental connection like they so often did to understand one another. It was as if they left their bodies and became one. And in that case their name would be Lizeen Stoneskin.
Their next statements molded into each other as if they both held onto the paintbrush as it drew a tree.
Colleen Evanstone said, "and i'd never be able to show my face in this town again, because of embarassment."
And Liz Rivalskin said, "and then you'd live the rest of your life as a bumless hermit, due to embarasment."
And Colleen Evanstone rebutted with, "now I have to find the right cave for me you know how many available caves there are now a days that are even halfway decent?...none."
And Liz Rivalskin replied, " no one ever says i wanna be bumless when i grow up...but you ARE."
A heavy silence filled the room. Colleen Evanstone stared hard at the ground as if it would give her the answers she so desperately needed. And then by some miracle it did! Colleen Evanstone's eyes light up as she proclaimed with all her being, "i didnt plan it. Life threw me a curve. And it knocked my bum off."
As yes, the message was so clear now. Liz Rivalskin had reached deep within her soul and found the very meaning of existance didn't have to be listening to your own voice. It was the listen to others. To their stories filled with hopes, fears, and bums falling off. She was touched. And through newly shed tears she whimpered, "that's beautiful..."
At the point Colleen Evanstone put her arm around Liz Rivalskin to comfort her in her new revelation of life as she searched for her wise next words.
" Its a limerick," she said as they walked together into the sunset. Only they existed tonight. The rest of the world was calmly waiting outside for Liz Rivalskin and Colleen Evanstone to return when they were ready.
The End
This story was dedicated to Liz Rivalsi and her baby borl. God Bless!
Song o the day: Jump by Criss Cross...they worse their pants backwards, cuz they were ghetto, not to meantion 12
Ladies and gentlemen, behold, a Lifetime Movie presentation of : Shake what the donor gave you.
After a grueling week of school Liz Rivalskin decided to have a talk with her friend Colleen Evanstone. It was a fairly breezy friday afternoon and Liz Rivalskin wondered how Colleen Evanstone would fair.
So she went up to Colleen Evanstone and asked, "What's baking, booty shakin?"
Colleen Evanstone's face instantly became grim. "Not much."
Liz Rivalskin was curious and asked, "Aww nothin to shake?"
Ms. Evanstone replied, "nope...." A single tear steamed down her almost unbearably beautiful face. She then continued adding, "I shook my booty too hard that it fell off."
Liz Rivalskin was shocked at these words and in a light whisper proclaimed, "oh deaaaar." She secretly wondered if this could happen to her and what she would do. Surely living with no bum would scar her for life!
Colleen Evanstone then began to tell her story. "i know. It was tragic.."
But Liz Rivalskin had to get a word in because in addition to loving the current statis of her bum, she also loved to hear the sound of her radiant voice. To get her fix she said, "I bet it was gross too."
Ignoring this comment, Colleen Evanstone pushed on with her story. She struggled to repress the need to cry out for something. Anything. Anyone to identify with the pain she had endured. Building up all the courage within she began to tell her story once again, "The doctor said there is a chance that I can find a donor, and get a new, firm bum. But then I can't technically shake what MY mom gave me."
Her eyes began to water at the thought. But Liz Rivalskin wasn't touched as she had thought she would be. Instead she needed to hear her voice once more. She tried to hide it as much as possible and emitted a light, "Hmmm." As if she were thinking of how to solve this puzzle. And what a curious puzzle it was.
Colleen Evanstone continued with her rant. "You'd have to say, "shake what the donors mama gave you. And then everyone will stop dancing and stare at my butt."
In Liz Rivalskin's mind she envisioned a horrible scene and said, "..And then itd fall off again, from embarasment."
It was as if Colleen Evanstone had somehow tapped into Liz Rivalskin's mind. They had made a mental connection like they so often did to understand one another. It was as if they left their bodies and became one. And in that case their name would be Lizeen Stoneskin.
Their next statements molded into each other as if they both held onto the paintbrush as it drew a tree.
Colleen Evanstone said, "and i'd never be able to show my face in this town again, because of embarassment."
And Liz Rivalskin said, "and then you'd live the rest of your life as a bumless hermit, due to embarasment."
And Colleen Evanstone rebutted with, "now I have to find the right cave for me you know how many available caves there are now a days that are even halfway decent?...none."
And Liz Rivalskin replied, " no one ever says i wanna be bumless when i grow up...but you ARE."
A heavy silence filled the room. Colleen Evanstone stared hard at the ground as if it would give her the answers she so desperately needed. And then by some miracle it did! Colleen Evanstone's eyes light up as she proclaimed with all her being, "i didnt plan it. Life threw me a curve. And it knocked my bum off."
As yes, the message was so clear now. Liz Rivalskin had reached deep within her soul and found the very meaning of existance didn't have to be listening to your own voice. It was the listen to others. To their stories filled with hopes, fears, and bums falling off. She was touched. And through newly shed tears she whimpered, "that's beautiful..."
At the point Colleen Evanstone put her arm around Liz Rivalskin to comfort her in her new revelation of life as she searched for her wise next words.
" Its a limerick," she said as they walked together into the sunset. Only they existed tonight. The rest of the world was calmly waiting outside for Liz Rivalskin and Colleen Evanstone to return when they were ready.
The End
This story was dedicated to Liz Rivalsi and her baby borl. God Bless!
Song o the day: Jump by Criss Cross...they worse their pants backwards, cuz they were ghetto, not to meantion 12
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
I found this just now and would like to share
Relationships are math problems to me
There are different ways to go about it
Certain topics I am good at
But if I don't pay attention - I'm screwed
There is only one right answer
The longer problems are always more difficult,
but worth more points
When I have a question,
I ask the teacher
Sometimes it's fun
Sometimes I hate it
When it comes to a test, I go blank
Not enough studying
I don't remember the equation
But then again...
I was never good at math.
Note: Yes, I am single. Stupid Math!
Relationships are math problems to me
There are different ways to go about it
Certain topics I am good at
But if I don't pay attention - I'm screwed
There is only one right answer
The longer problems are always more difficult,
but worth more points
When I have a question,
I ask the teacher
Sometimes it's fun
Sometimes I hate it
When it comes to a test, I go blank
Not enough studying
I don't remember the equation
But then again...
I was never good at math.
Note: Yes, I am single. Stupid Math!
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Monday, April 29, 2002
Sometimes I try to be different a little too much. I get annoyed when I fall into the norms of emotions and the times that "everyone goes through." I dont want to go through what everyone else does. I want to be super human. Being a perfectionest is really starting to wear me away. How can I have perfection when there is nothing left?
[Shakes fist at Life]
Anyway, I woke up this morning in total confusion. I had no idea why my alarm was set. And then the realization sunk in, with a growl...school! Freakin mondays. If only I went to bed before eleven something, the whole tired issue wouldnt be an issue. I would have wonderful bounds of sleep and wake up refreshed. But you see there are these things called TV and internet. These things call to me and I always answer (it would be rude not to) and then I have problems leaving. But I can't get rid of it cuz I can't live without it. There is no life without entertaining technology. I think it's taking over my brain and eventually I'll never want to sleep. How terrible.
I love this song: Baba O'Reilly by The Who
You might remember this little ditty from the American Beauty Movie Trailer or not depending on your memory...
[Shakes fist at Life]
Anyway, I woke up this morning in total confusion. I had no idea why my alarm was set. And then the realization sunk in, with a growl...school! Freakin mondays. If only I went to bed before eleven something, the whole tired issue wouldnt be an issue. I would have wonderful bounds of sleep and wake up refreshed. But you see there are these things called TV and internet. These things call to me and I always answer (it would be rude not to) and then I have problems leaving. But I can't get rid of it cuz I can't live without it. There is no life without entertaining technology. I think it's taking over my brain and eventually I'll never want to sleep. How terrible.
I love this song: Baba O'Reilly by The Who
You might remember this little ditty from the American Beauty Movie Trailer or not depending on your memory...
Sunday, April 28, 2002
Happy belated Phrase O the Week. This week's is from the talented Liz. You see, I was doing what basically all 13-30 year olds do at 8 on a Sunday..watch the Simpsons. I quoted a line from the show [i just cant live without rage-a-hol] to Liz who was online at the time thinking she was watching. But Liz fo-dot that Simpsons were on: a crime punishable by death if caught by the po-po. I told her she was a failure. To which she replied:
i accept my failureism
Congrads to Liz and her ability to do EVERYTHING wrong. [thumbs up]
i accept my failureism
Congrads to Liz and her ability to do EVERYTHING wrong. [thumbs up]
Saturday, April 27, 2002
If a conversation occured between two people who had short term memory loss and were prone to lying I think it would sound something like this:
-Lactaid Lady=Me
-Cookies4Grandma=Merry
Lactaid Lady: what is up
Cookies4Grandma: nm u
Lactaid Lady: not much
Lactaid Lady: u
Cookies4Grandma: not much, you?
Lactaid Lady: nothing really
Lactaid Lady: u?
Cookies4Grandma: Meh.. you know, nothing much. You?
Lactaid Lady: i'm alright, same ol same ol...how about yourself?
Cookies4Grandma: You konw, pretty good, nothing relaly though. How about you?
Lactaid Lady: you know i was wondering how i was doing so i asked myself and i answered...ya know, i'm doing Otay...you?
Cookies4Grandma: You konw, I did something rather similar. But I answered, pretty good, can't complain - you
Lactaid Lady: I was thinking of traveling the world but then i decided to do nothing instead...y tu?
Cookies4Grandma: I was thinking of running for president, but than I decided to be lazy instead, you?
Lactaid Lady: I got a bad case of road rage and planned out this old lady's death but then i fell asleep...you?
Cookies4Grandma: I got really really hungry and since ther eis no food in my house decided to turn to cannibalism, than I found a sandwich. You?
Lactaid Lady: my neighbors dog keeps dumping on my lawn so I was about to got out to their lawn and drop a duce onto it...but then i saw their dog get hit by a car...what happened on your end?
Cookies4Grandma: Well, the house next door was set ablaze, and I was thinking of trying to save the burning victims, than I saw a little kitty playing iwth a ball of yarn, and decided to snatch it. So I took the kitty home and played with it. How about you, anythign exciting?
Lactaid Lady: i played a game of checkers against this homeless guy but it turns out he was cheating so i was about to set his box on fire when out of no where comes this little monkey with a red ballon walks out and talks abotu keeping the peace so i put my arm around the homeless bum and walked in to my house...and killed him there and hid the body...hows life treating you?
Cookies4Grandma: You know, life is pretty good. I set my neighbors house ablaze and stole their kitten. I was going to save them.... but they wouldn't have let me keep the kitten. So I left them in the fire. But, how can life get much better? I mean, c'mon, I have a kitten! How about you?
Cookies4Grandma: I guess nothing with you.
Lactaid Lady: well i was walking around my neighborhood when i see this bright light out of no where...and it turns out it was a flying saucer. Parked itself over my house and abducted my WHOLE family...and i just sat there..smoking a ciggy-but
Lactaid Lady: there was nothing i could do ya know
Lactaid Lady: but what abotu you?
Cookies4Grandma: You know. Absolutely nothing. Besides the fact that I stole a tank from the US Army, ran it into the side of a bank and stole all the money. Now I'm on the run from the fuzz, avoiding the po-po, and running from the cops. My family supports me though. So... y'know.
The End
-Lactaid Lady=Me
-Cookies4Grandma=Merry
Lactaid Lady: what is up
Cookies4Grandma: nm u
Lactaid Lady: not much
Lactaid Lady: u
Cookies4Grandma: not much, you?
Lactaid Lady: nothing really
Lactaid Lady: u?
Cookies4Grandma: Meh.. you know, nothing much. You?
Lactaid Lady: i'm alright, same ol same ol...how about yourself?
Cookies4Grandma: You konw, pretty good, nothing relaly though. How about you?
Lactaid Lady: you know i was wondering how i was doing so i asked myself and i answered...ya know, i'm doing Otay...you?
Cookies4Grandma: You konw, I did something rather similar. But I answered, pretty good, can't complain - you
Lactaid Lady: I was thinking of traveling the world but then i decided to do nothing instead...y tu?
Cookies4Grandma: I was thinking of running for president, but than I decided to be lazy instead, you?
Lactaid Lady: I got a bad case of road rage and planned out this old lady's death but then i fell asleep...you?
Cookies4Grandma: I got really really hungry and since ther eis no food in my house decided to turn to cannibalism, than I found a sandwich. You?
Lactaid Lady: my neighbors dog keeps dumping on my lawn so I was about to got out to their lawn and drop a duce onto it...but then i saw their dog get hit by a car...what happened on your end?
Cookies4Grandma: Well, the house next door was set ablaze, and I was thinking of trying to save the burning victims, than I saw a little kitty playing iwth a ball of yarn, and decided to snatch it. So I took the kitty home and played with it. How about you, anythign exciting?
Lactaid Lady: i played a game of checkers against this homeless guy but it turns out he was cheating so i was about to set his box on fire when out of no where comes this little monkey with a red ballon walks out and talks abotu keeping the peace so i put my arm around the homeless bum and walked in to my house...and killed him there and hid the body...hows life treating you?
Cookies4Grandma: You know, life is pretty good. I set my neighbors house ablaze and stole their kitten. I was going to save them.... but they wouldn't have let me keep the kitten. So I left them in the fire. But, how can life get much better? I mean, c'mon, I have a kitten! How about you?
Cookies4Grandma: I guess nothing with you.
Lactaid Lady: well i was walking around my neighborhood when i see this bright light out of no where...and it turns out it was a flying saucer. Parked itself over my house and abducted my WHOLE family...and i just sat there..smoking a ciggy-but
Lactaid Lady: there was nothing i could do ya know
Lactaid Lady: but what abotu you?
Cookies4Grandma: You know. Absolutely nothing. Besides the fact that I stole a tank from the US Army, ran it into the side of a bank and stole all the money. Now I'm on the run from the fuzz, avoiding the po-po, and running from the cops. My family supports me though. So... y'know.
The End
Random Tings:
1) I need a haircut
2) TV is good
3) My cat is sitting on my lap
4) India is overpopulated
5) Does soda cause cancer?
6) Ketchup was a good invention
7) I hate spiders but kinda like spiderman from what I've seen
Dictionary Tiempo!! [randomly looked up]
tortoni: ice cream made of heavy cream often with minced almonds and chopped cherries and flavored with rum.
i.e.- After the ice cream man said he doesn't sell tortoni to kids, I followed him home and burn his house down.
Todays Word of the Day is:
Diaper...Have you changed a diaper today?
1) I need a haircut
2) TV is good
3) My cat is sitting on my lap
4) India is overpopulated
5) Does soda cause cancer?
6) Ketchup was a good invention
7) I hate spiders but kinda like spiderman from what I've seen
Dictionary Tiempo!! [randomly looked up]
tortoni: ice cream made of heavy cream often with minced almonds and chopped cherries and flavored with rum.
i.e.- After the ice cream man said he doesn't sell tortoni to kids, I followed him home and burn his house down.
Todays Word of the Day is:
Diaper...Have you changed a diaper today?
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
I must introduce you all to someone VERY close to my heart...
Mr. Skid. Full name: Mr. Skid with the shoes. He's married to Ms. Slip with the grip. They are in love and together created a being. Some call him the Slip-Skid Kid. They call him Johnny. Johnny wears his shoes with the grip everywhere he goes: school, the mall, the movies, his grandma's house, strip clubs...
Now Mr. Skid with the shoes was in trouble, he almost lost his j-o-b because the lining on his shoes gave way. He just loved those shoes so much he didnt want to replace them, but he almost killed Joe Pudding. We all know how important Joe Pudding is...without him who would eat all that pudding made by Bill Cosby? So Mr. Skid with his flimsy shoes skids right into Joe Pudding as he was taking a giant spoon full of, you guessed it...pudding. He starts to choke and thankfully Sally No-choke just punched into work, rounded the corner in an all out dash (cuz she can sense the choking) and saves Joe Puddings life.
Needless to say, Mr. Skid got himself a new pair of shoes the next day.
Hey you, listen to this: All Over Again by Phantom Planet...its crazy
Mr. Skid. Full name: Mr. Skid with the shoes. He's married to Ms. Slip with the grip. They are in love and together created a being. Some call him the Slip-Skid Kid. They call him Johnny. Johnny wears his shoes with the grip everywhere he goes: school, the mall, the movies, his grandma's house, strip clubs...
Now Mr. Skid with the shoes was in trouble, he almost lost his j-o-b because the lining on his shoes gave way. He just loved those shoes so much he didnt want to replace them, but he almost killed Joe Pudding. We all know how important Joe Pudding is...without him who would eat all that pudding made by Bill Cosby? So Mr. Skid with his flimsy shoes skids right into Joe Pudding as he was taking a giant spoon full of, you guessed it...pudding. He starts to choke and thankfully Sally No-choke just punched into work, rounded the corner in an all out dash (cuz she can sense the choking) and saves Joe Puddings life.
Needless to say, Mr. Skid got himself a new pair of shoes the next day.
Hey you, listen to this: All Over Again by Phantom Planet...its crazy
Monday, April 22, 2002
"My dad says that childhood is the happiest time of my life, but I think he's wrong. My mom's right she says, "Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. Thats what mama used to say. She said, 'Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Just give hope the chance to float up, and it will.'"
--Hope Floats; yeah it was a cute movie. We all need some southern twang thrown in there, even if you are from NY
--Hope Floats; yeah it was a cute movie. We all need some southern twang thrown in there, even if you are from NY
Sunday, April 21, 2002
I'm sitting here singing and groovin' to Kate by Ben Folds Five and I start to think about the awesome talk I had with a certain KATE! This Kate being of course, the one and only, Katie Woz. We haven't hung out much but whenever we do we have such real conversations about life and people and peanut butter...well not yet, we dont get THAT serious. I realize how much I value her friendship. Its cool meeting someone new; sharing stories and ideas and beliefs. Thats what life is really all about. Even though people in general suck, but individuals are so worth the time. Thanks to Katie. You had me at hello....
Its sad to say but I can't wait to go away to college now. I need a change. I need to grow up and write the next chapter of my life. I'm getting antsy. I'm tired of having to wait around. Things get boring and decay. Senior year is not what its cracked up to be. Yeah the work load is pretty easy but its the most emotionally draining year of your life. Right now I'm just searching for something. And I value the simple things I always took for granted; the sound of rain, dinner with my family, the trees, the flowers, watching Everybody Loves Raymond with my mom. There really is so much beauty in the world. It sounds trite but you just have to see it. Gotta have the "magic eye." I see these things and I think, I'll be ok. I'm getting closer to finding my Peace of Mind. You should try it sometime.
Its sad to say but I can't wait to go away to college now. I need a change. I need to grow up and write the next chapter of my life. I'm getting antsy. I'm tired of having to wait around. Things get boring and decay. Senior year is not what its cracked up to be. Yeah the work load is pretty easy but its the most emotionally draining year of your life. Right now I'm just searching for something. And I value the simple things I always took for granted; the sound of rain, dinner with my family, the trees, the flowers, watching Everybody Loves Raymond with my mom. There really is so much beauty in the world. It sounds trite but you just have to see it. Gotta have the "magic eye." I see these things and I think, I'll be ok. I'm getting closer to finding my Peace of Mind. You should try it sometime.
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