Recent email made me want to post some of its contents. You have probably seen something like it before, but still...

Rejected Kid's Book Titles:

Robert: Dad's New Wife.
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share.
That's It, I'm Putting You up for Adoption.
Grandpa Gets a Casket.
Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear.
You Were an Accident.
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry.
Your Nightmares Are Real.
Kathy was So Bad that her Mom Stopped Loving Her.

If only they REALLY existed. I think I'd read the last one to my kid.

Sometin bout College: They (my building friends) always ask where I get my catch phrases from. I recently taught them "like its my job" although they didnt want to say "like" because they thought it was being used in a way that shows low intelligence, so i revised it for them. I (insert verb) as if it is my job. That soon evolved to include shat. Soon after, and they rejoiced was added. Allow me to present the lastest catch phrase of the week:

He shat himself as if it was his job, and they rejoiced.

Oh AND I have the Phrase O the Week! Its back. It deals with poop. A wonderful and totally colleen way of introducing a new season of POW.
setting: Inside dorm room as we discuss different ways and saying of poop. Droppin a duece was mentioned, to name one. Then Sara spoke
What'd she say?

She said: My uncle likes to say Pinching One Off

Laughter came shortly there after.

I realise if people actually think too much about poop they become biased against it. Just put your immature kid helmet on and re-read the post. Its so much more enjoyable. Yaye Poop!

Miss Marie is famous now. I got three, count em, THREE card from her. Ms.Marie is a hardcore card sender. Watch out.

So last night I'm about to fall asleep and before I do I had the idea of me being part of 4 ICTV shows in my head because it's crazy to me. And all of a sudden my brain has a little convo with itself.

Right side: What did I write on those applications?
Left side: I vaguely remember something about cookies...

I loves ma cookies. Although I am more a fan of sugar cookies than the traditional chocolate chip ones. Oreos are good, I've always liked them. I remember this picture of myself when I was maybe a year old and I'm in my walker thing and I have oreo ALL over my face.
Nothing has changed.

The booted avenger:

Last night a new creature was made. After an innocent little girl stepped in some radioactive mud on the side of the road, her foot swelled and transformed her. She was no longer a college student. She now had a job. To kick the CRAP out of crime. One step at a time.

Oh snap it rhymes.
Dr.Suess in da house!

Score! Last time the most annoying thing happened. I tried to post and it didnt let me, so I tried again and thought I was so smart when I copied it. I figured, hey, if it doesnt post again then I can surely copy and paste it from word. Only thing is...I get to word and I can't paste it. ((SHAKES FIST LIKE ITS MY JOB))

So my last post delt with me being a moron. It was mistaken identity. I thought this kid was someone that he wasnt, so I made a face at him when we made eye contact. Turns out it wasnt him. Cuz I stopped the kid I thought he was (Jesse) at a table behind me. Best thing was when I made the face, I was alone at the table cuz Sudhanshu went to get some ketchup. I wanted to go over to the kid and be all....YEAH! I'm crazy.

Even more awkward: I saw the kid again in my building lobby. He was playing monopoly. And guess what? They were all cursing at each other. What a wonderful way to destroy friendships. Got someone you dont EVER want to talk to agian, would you like a divorce? Play Monopoly. Works every time.

Flashback!!!
recent inside jokes with Liz:

1) Anyone who is your friend, punch them in the face
2) Hartwick college...pffff more like FARTwick

Current Events:

Last night I did some good ol' square dancing in the Ithaca Commons. It fun for the most part. Things that took away from the fun include bearded, shoeless, tie-dye wearing yippies spinning me like it was nobodys business. Then later on I broke it down. Doing the lawn mower, shopping cart, pencil shapener, the sprinkler, the ghetto arm fling that Dave could NEVER do right. So yeah I danced to the mad phat country tunes. And it was def country cuz I did it was a red truckers hat that just barely laid on my head. Kinda like the way my dad will wear it....but worse.

No offense to Dad. But I'm sure Mom would agree.

Please work....

Ca-razy

Road Tripped it up to see the one, the only, notorious L-I-Z. It was fun when the bus fair is 65 cents, can't be a dollar or even better FREE. No we have to be difficult and make you pay 65 cents and we dont give you change. Hey Oneonta, you SUCK!!! Thats right, I'm NEVER going there again. I can't believe liz can tolerate their ignorance of bus fees. God Bless her.
Oh they also have these house things. So weird.
It was def good to be around ppl with my sense of humor. Felt like home.

I hope I am ready for this jelly: It's time for me to vent. I have a lot of classes on mondays, I also got casted in this improv show that I want to do more than my classes and I'm afraid I wont be able to do it because I might have my film class. Then I'm also a field producer, a f-ing producer that means I'm in charge of stuff. Then I might do some writing for a latenight talk show, and I might get to be a co-host for an MTV-like show. I am like taking over the Ithaca College TV station, slowly and skillfully. Like a cat.
"You're a cat" - Nick Ray
Hopefully I'm not in over my head. The ICTV is something I really want to do well but I also need to do well in regular ol' college. The overachiever I am, I just hope I dont pass out. That would suck.

(deep breath)


(exhale)

The little people: Thanks to Ms.Marie for the card. It was nice to hear from my homies in Rouge. Word to the doobies.

ok thats all class, you may leave now.