Saturday, April 27, 2002

If a conversation occured between two people who had short term memory loss and were prone to lying I think it would sound something like this:
-Lactaid Lady=Me
-Cookies4Grandma=Merry

Lactaid Lady: what is up
Cookies4Grandma: nm u
Lactaid Lady: not much
Lactaid Lady: u
Cookies4Grandma: not much, you?
Lactaid Lady: nothing really
Lactaid Lady: u?
Cookies4Grandma: Meh.. you know, nothing much. You?
Lactaid Lady: i'm alright, same ol same ol...how about yourself?
Cookies4Grandma: You konw, pretty good, nothing relaly though. How about you?
Lactaid Lady: you know i was wondering how i was doing so i asked myself and i answered...ya know, i'm doing Otay...you?
Cookies4Grandma: You konw, I did something rather similar. But I answered, pretty good, can't complain - you
Lactaid Lady: I was thinking of traveling the world but then i decided to do nothing instead...y tu?
Cookies4Grandma: I was thinking of running for president, but than I decided to be lazy instead, you?
Lactaid Lady: I got a bad case of road rage and planned out this old lady's death but then i fell asleep...you?
Cookies4Grandma: I got really really hungry and since ther eis no food in my house decided to turn to cannibalism, than I found a sandwich. You?
Lactaid Lady: my neighbors dog keeps dumping on my lawn so I was about to got out to their lawn and drop a duce onto it...but then i saw their dog get hit by a car...what happened on your end?
Cookies4Grandma: Well, the house next door was set ablaze, and I was thinking of trying to save the burning victims, than I saw a little kitty playing iwth a ball of yarn, and decided to snatch it. So I took the kitty home and played with it. How about you, anythign exciting?
Lactaid Lady: i played a game of checkers against this homeless guy but it turns out he was cheating so i was about to set his box on fire when out of no where comes this little monkey with a red ballon walks out and talks abotu keeping the peace so i put my arm around the homeless bum and walked in to my house...and killed him there and hid the body...hows life treating you?
Cookies4Grandma: You know, life is pretty good. I set my neighbors house ablaze and stole their kitten. I was going to save them.... but they wouldn't have let me keep the kitten. So I left them in the fire. But, how can life get much better? I mean, c'mon, I have a kitten! How about you?
Cookies4Grandma: I guess nothing with you.
Lactaid Lady: well i was walking around my neighborhood when i see this bright light out of no where...and it turns out it was a flying saucer. Parked itself over my house and abducted my WHOLE family...and i just sat there..smoking a ciggy-but
Lactaid Lady: there was nothing i could do ya know
Lactaid Lady: but what abotu you?
Cookies4Grandma: You know. Absolutely nothing. Besides the fact that I stole a tank from the US Army, ran it into the side of a bank and stole all the money. Now I'm on the run from the fuzz, avoiding the po-po, and running from the cops. My family supports me though. So... y'know.

The End


Random Tings:

1) I need a haircut
2) TV is good
3) My cat is sitting on my lap
4) India is overpopulated
5) Does soda cause cancer?
6) Ketchup was a good invention
7) I hate spiders but kinda like spiderman from what I've seen

Dictionary Tiempo!! [randomly looked up]

tortoni: ice cream made of heavy cream often with minced almonds and chopped cherries and flavored with rum.
i.e.- After the ice cream man said he doesn't sell tortoni to kids, I followed him home and burn his house down.

Todays Word of the Day is:
Diaper...Have you changed a diaper today?







Wednesday, April 24, 2002

I must introduce you all to someone VERY close to my heart...

Mr. Skid. Full name: Mr. Skid with the shoes. He's married to Ms. Slip with the grip. They are in love and together created a being. Some call him the Slip-Skid Kid. They call him Johnny. Johnny wears his shoes with the grip everywhere he goes: school, the mall, the movies, his grandma's house, strip clubs...

Now Mr. Skid with the shoes was in trouble, he almost lost his j-o-b because the lining on his shoes gave way. He just loved those shoes so much he didnt want to replace them, but he almost killed Joe Pudding. We all know how important Joe Pudding is...without him who would eat all that pudding made by Bill Cosby? So Mr. Skid with his flimsy shoes skids right into Joe Pudding as he was taking a giant spoon full of, you guessed it...pudding. He starts to choke and thankfully Sally No-choke just punched into work, rounded the corner in an all out dash (cuz she can sense the choking) and saves Joe Puddings life.

Needless to say, Mr. Skid got himself a new pair of shoes the next day.

Hey you, listen to this: All Over Again by Phantom Planet...its crazy



Monday, April 22, 2002

"My dad says that childhood is the happiest time of my life, but I think he's wrong. My mom's right she says, "Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. Thats what mama used to say. She said, 'Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. You need to remember that when you find yourself at the beginning. Just give hope the chance to float up, and it will.'"

--Hope Floats; yeah it was a cute movie. We all need some southern twang thrown in there, even if you are from NY

Sunday, April 21, 2002

I'm sitting here singing and groovin' to Kate by Ben Folds Five and I start to think about the awesome talk I had with a certain KATE! This Kate being of course, the one and only, Katie Woz. We haven't hung out much but whenever we do we have such real conversations about life and people and peanut butter...well not yet, we dont get THAT serious. I realize how much I value her friendship. Its cool meeting someone new; sharing stories and ideas and beliefs. Thats what life is really all about. Even though people in general suck, but individuals are so worth the time. Thanks to Katie. You had me at hello....

Its sad to say but I can't wait to go away to college now. I need a change. I need to grow up and write the next chapter of my life. I'm getting antsy. I'm tired of having to wait around. Things get boring and decay. Senior year is not what its cracked up to be. Yeah the work load is pretty easy but its the most emotionally draining year of your life. Right now I'm just searching for something. And I value the simple things I always took for granted; the sound of rain, dinner with my family, the trees, the flowers, watching Everybody Loves Raymond with my mom. There really is so much beauty in the world. It sounds trite but you just have to see it. Gotta have the "magic eye." I see these things and I think, I'll be ok. I'm getting closer to finding my Peace of Mind. You should try it sometime.