After I pumped gallon after gallon of gasoline into my car at the Costco station the digital screen told me:

"Protect the Environment and Avoid Spills. Do Not Top Off."

I feel like it's inappropriate for a gas station to be telling me to protect the environment. As if spilling a drop will ruin the crop that grows in the ever abundant concrete fields. It should read:

"Protect the Environment and help fund Doc Brown's Flux Cupacitor or Buy a Hybrid."

Whatever happened to the Best Friend necklace? You know the one, a broken heart that on one side says "Be Fri" and the other "st ends." How come this was only available to me when I was in elementary school and we had our "holiday" shopping at school. Which by the way I purchased a lucky rabbit's foot year after year after getting my dad the generic dad gift, a cheap tool kit that was almost unusable. For mom, it was much easier, cheap earrings. The brother, well I already got a tool set, so maybe another rabbit foot? '

But I digress. Do we not cherish the need to claim our best friends anymore? As we get older our gifts turn to money and gift cards. Why not kick it oldschool and bring back the Best Friend necklace? I feel this is an untapped market that Tiffany's can make a pretty penny on. Then when it becomes the it thing, thanks to those shadow commericals (though that was for De Beer - damn you marketing for making me remember!), it can boost the economy by giving hustlers in NYC something else to make knockoff brands of.

Just imagine a shining 24K gold necklace with Best Friends written in diamonds....or at least you thought it was gold until it turned your neck green. Tricked again! If this happens, please note that you need a new Be Fri.

Today, Friday May 4, 2007 should be marked on our calanders and be remembered for years to come as the day that we held the proof in our hands that God really exists.

Behold, Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail that she can't get out of. I don't know about you but I am beelining it to church....