Halloween is just 'round the corner so I'd like to give some tips I learned from second grade.
List 4 safety rules to remember when trck or treating.
1. Olwas wock for strads.
2. Olwas chek your candy.
3. Olwas go with a gronup.
4. Don't go with strads.
I think it's safe to say let's just avoid the strads all together. They are just bad news. Strads of course being strangers, or at least that's what I think I'm talking about, in my secret twin language.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Recently I have been going through my second grade journal and I found some seasonally appropriate gems. Enjoy:
Second Grade Journal Entry
List 4 things you know about Christopher Columbus.
1. He sald the seven seas.
2. He fawnd amerak.
3. He was a kind man.
4. He was a brav man.
Not only did Columbus discover America (cough) lies (cough), he also found a nation similar in spelling but not capitalized. God Bless amerak. I'm also a fan of how much they lie to us at that age. Sorry kids but as you get older you will learn that Columbus was really quite a douche.
Then at the bottom of the page:
Kate das
4+4=8
4+3=7
In case you weren't aware.
Second Grade Journal Entry
List 4 things you know about Christopher Columbus.
1. He sald the seven seas.
2. He fawnd amerak.
3. He was a kind man.
4. He was a brav man.
Not only did Columbus discover America (cough) lies (cough), he also found a nation similar in spelling but not capitalized. God Bless amerak. I'm also a fan of how much they lie to us at that age. Sorry kids but as you get older you will learn that Columbus was really quite a douche.
Then at the bottom of the page:
Kate das
4+4=8
4+3=7
In case you weren't aware.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Not sure about you but I can't wait for the completion of the Harry Potter world in Florida. Basically my mind will 'splode seeing Hogwarts come to life. It'll be a hardcore nerd out, the likes of which I may never recover.
Let me break it down for you: I want to be a wizard and when I set foot in there I'll believe I shall become one However, being a Muggle, it's not going to happen. That's just the hard truth of the matter. Therefore I shall submit my application to be the guidence counselor of Hogwarts. Perhaps the exposure to magic will allow me to become one, but if not, I'll just live vigariously through the students aka failed actors hired by Warner Bros to fill the place. Whatever works.
Let me break it down for you: I want to be a wizard and when I set foot in there I'll believe I shall become one However, being a Muggle, it's not going to happen. That's just the hard truth of the matter. Therefore I shall submit my application to be the guidence counselor of Hogwarts. Perhaps the exposure to magic will allow me to become one, but if not, I'll just live vigariously through the students aka failed actors hired by Warner Bros to fill the place. Whatever works.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Whilst on my way to the Farmer's Market this morning I walked by a couple of homeless guys. After I had gotten at least 5 feet away one of them yelled out, "We need change!"
I thought, "Literal or figurative?" Then a second later I heard from his grizzled, bearded, dirty friend, "Bitch!"
When I turned around with a look of "Really?" He then followed up with, "Slut!"
First of all, me not giving you money doesn't make me a slut. Get your insults right. Second, if you are homeless and want people to give you money you need another strategy.
I thought, "Literal or figurative?" Then a second later I heard from his grizzled, bearded, dirty friend, "Bitch!"
When I turned around with a look of "Really?" He then followed up with, "Slut!"
First of all, me not giving you money doesn't make me a slut. Get your insults right. Second, if you are homeless and want people to give you money you need another strategy.
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