Yesterday I went to a dinner party hosted by my lovely ultimate frisbee friend Miles. He totes classed it up by having food on actual plates like from Crate & Barrel. He don't mess. There was also a giant bowl of homemade guacamole so I was more than pleased. I also learned I could shorten fancy to fance which I do plan to use in my lexicon.

Several other great things occurred:

1. A bunch of us came up with the term Gayzies for gay best friend - feel free to use on the regular.

2. It was decided I would become a mutlimillionaire after selling two shows. One is a reality show rip off of the Food Network shows where they take people who can't cook and try to teach them how to not suck at it. Only mine will be for people who can't make clothes but they have to do Project Runway like challenges without guildance so there will be a lot of things put together in a tizzy with tape and staples - hosted by Cindy Lauper. THEN I also have "Topical Grandmas" - it's like the view but with a couple of old white ladies talkin' bout Lady Gaga and cameltoes. Betty White will FOR SURE be one of the hosts.

3. Miles had an actual newspaper out for people to read and this happened:

*Please note I didn't do either on of these but I def giggled at them.

All in all a pretty successful night...

Facebook needs to not be so accessible at work. It's counter productive.

I've been on "hiatus" now from my show for about a month but because I work for the executive producers I don't get time off. What I do get is an office and at times, like today, and entire floor to myself. I don't mind the quiet but I am WAY less productive when I don't have a million things to do. Somehow doing 15 things is better than only 2 things.

Yesterday my one boss handed me his water and power bill to mail. I pleasantly said, "yeah sure," and then threw it into the recycle bin right in front of him. We then mused that I did that every time he handed me things to do. I'd totally do it if I...

1. Didn't like him
2. Didn't like getting paid
3. Was that JetBlue flight attendant who didn't want to work no mo'

See you later, suckers. Fly United!

"And where did you go, young lady? Why haven't you been here to write hilarious little diddies for me to giggle at! Me get angry!"

That was my impression of you. Pretty good, right?

Sorry, my adoring public, for keeping you at bay. I was away losing my mind in Orlando, Florida at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Yeah you heard me. I went to Hogwarts.


Window shopped in Hogsmeade.


Drank me some frozen butterbeer. And it was delish.


If you aren't jealous yet, you should be. If you aren't a fan of Harry Potter, I'm not sure how we are friends.

I'll have more vacation tid bits for you soon. But first I want to share with you my favorites from the SkyMall that was in the seat. First of all, I flew Southwest and you REALLY take for granted the multimedia that every other airline uses now a days. We are so A.D.D. now it's ridiculous. A whole day of flying without being forced to watch a mediocre movie/reality tv shows? You expect me to read an actual book? That's just ridiculous. But when you do give in and read SkyMall the best part is, the actual copy of it tells you to take it, they have more. They actually encourage stealing.

Anyway here were a few jems I just couldn't resist documenting:

1. Face Trainer
"Your face. Naturally fit." You ladies may laugh but I know the inside scoop on Hollywood youth treatments and wrapping your face in an ace bandage is super advanced technology that works.

2. Zombies!
It's basically a fake zombie statue for your yard. Now, I know if I saw this late at night after a long day at work I'd probs get out my trusty shotgun and shoot it, believing the Zombie apocolypse had begun. Either that or yelp and throw my keys at it before running away.

3. Pet High Chair


I'm pretty sure he's eating some kind of dessert that is rightfully made for humans. Unacceptable.