Friday, July 23, 2010

And so it continues...
(A thank you to my cousin Patrick for the lead. Hopefully this time you won't leave a sassy comment demanding credit. Jerk.)


The Long Island bank robber who disguised himself as Darth Vader wasn't afraid to use force. Witnesses tell Newsday that when Vader entered the Chase bank in Setauket, everyone thought it was just a gag. A muscular customer at the counter jokingly tried to put his arms around Vader, at which point the 6'2" former Jedi threw him to the ground, pointed the gun at him and said, "I'll shoot you in the face. This isn't a joke." And for the first time in history, a grown man in a Star Wars costume successfully stopped people from laughing at him.

Turning back to the counter, Vader demanded cash from the teller. But as he waited for the hand-off, another woman entered the bank. Sensing a disturbance in the Force, he swung around and pointed his gun at her, declaring, "Not today, lady. Find a different bank." Grabbing the cash, he took off running east, knocking over a bagel shop customer who was as clumsy as he was stupid.

An Air Force veteran inside the bagel store who saw Vader run by tells Newsday he thinks the thief has military training, observing, "He knows what he's doing with the gun. He wasn't holding it like a cowboy." Suffolk county police have made no arrests, but they have dispatched one of their best rookies to the Dagobah system to dig up leads.

MY COMMENT: Well of course he wasn't holding the gun "like a cowboy." Hello, he's a Sith. There aren't any cowboys in space, unless you are Han Solo. Also I'd like to go on record to say that I'll be super bummed if this turns out to not be real.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I apologize as THIS should have been my last post to keep with the Star Wars theme. Big shout out to my home of Long Island for this story. And I quote from Newsday:

It seems the Empire has fallen on hard times. Presumably to get finishing funds for his latest Death Star, Darth Vader—or a man pretending to be Darth Vader?—was reduced to robbing a bank on Long Island this morning. Impotent Rebel Alliance security forces tell Newsday (paywall) that Vader marched into a Chase bank in Setauket around 11:30 a.m. today. Brandishing a completely unnecessary handgun—as he had the power to choke the oxygen out every teller's throat—the fallen Jedi demanded cash.

It's unclear whether he also found their lack of faith disturbing, but one Rebel policeman says, "The teller complied with the robber's demands and gave him money from the drawer." Vader is described as 6 feet, 2 inches tall, also wearing camouflage pants, and was last seen boarding a starfighter headed in the direction of Long Island's sinister Sith stronghold, in Valley Stream. (Isn't this also where Improv Everywhere has their headquarters?) Below, a surveillance photo from the teller's point of view:

I'm not sure if I LOVE the fact that this happened or the article itself with all its Star Wars references.
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I believe I've already done a rant or two about how annoyed I get when I see people younger than me being super successful - i.e. athletes or actually talented actors/musicians. Especially when it comes to the Olympics and they are like 14 and winning gold metals. Don't get me wrong, I'm also impressed and inspired, but then feel like a chump.

But every so often there comes one of these youngins in the limelight that makes me feel really good about myself. Currently, Lindsay Lohan is that person.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sorry for the delay. I have been quite busy the past few weeks and also just got over some mini flu like thing that mostly made me feel uncomfortable and forced me into a diet of crackers/dry cereal. As someone who LOVES food, it was very tragic for me as everyday felt like a waste of a good meal. But alas, I am back!

I'll keep this post short and sweet. I discovered this little gem today. It seems someone managed to improve something that was already pretty awesome...

Um, yes please.