(A thank you to my cousin Patrick for the lead. Hopefully this time you won't leave a sassy comment demanding credit. Jerk.)
The Long Island bank robber who disguised himself as Darth Vader wasn't afraid to use force. Witnesses tell Newsday that when Vader entered the Chase bank in Setauket, everyone thought it was just a gag. A muscular customer at the counter jokingly tried to put his arms around Vader, at which point the 6'2" former Jedi threw him to the ground, pointed the gun at him and said, "I'll shoot you in the face. This isn't a joke." And for the first time in history, a grown man in a Star Wars costume successfully stopped people from laughing at him.
Turning back to the counter, Vader demanded cash from the teller. But as he waited for the hand-off, another woman entered the bank. Sensing a disturbance in the Force, he swung around and pointed his gun at her, declaring, "Not today, lady. Find a different bank." Grabbing the cash, he took off running east, knocking over a bagel shop customer who was as clumsy as he was stupid.
An Air Force veteran inside the bagel store who saw Vader run by tells Newsday he thinks the thief has military training, observing, "He knows what he's doing with the gun. He wasn't holding it like a cowboy." Suffolk county police have made no arrests, but they have dispatched one of their best rookies to the Dagobah system to dig up leads.
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