Friday, April 05, 2002

Todays Longest Website Address goes to...
(Drum roll)

Mapquest!!
(hardcore Mapquest fans cheer and huge each other in victory)

Here it is:
http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&ct=NA&1ah=&1a=9+elm+st.&1p=&1c=Lake+Grove&1s=NY&1z=11775&1y=US&2ah=hrpu3pOULp306kwc3WYPJgtEjbEyetVNTNmR%252fxTO%252fCnpc4z6UdZk9Pyf7lNdbiTxV311LTnIEi5W%252b%252b3BC2NvRg%253d%253d&2a=74+Glen+Summer+Rd&2p=&2c=Holbrook&2s=NY&2z=11741&2y=US&lr=2&x=33&y=16

Its simply beautiful...


Thursday, April 04, 2002

A conversation for all the Mr.T lovers out there:

ISmellNY: Mr. T is so threatening.
ISmellNY: I wish he wasn't so T'ish
Lactaid Lady: wha?
Lactaid Lady: you crazy
ISmellNY: Your icon thingy.
ISmellNY: It's givin me the crreeeeep
ISmellNY: (s
ISmellNY: _
ISmellNY: )
Lactaid Lady: i know you are talkin bout my icon
Lactaid Lady: but its all jibba jabba
Lactaid Lady: i pity da foo that dont like T
ISmellNY: I pity da fool dat like Col.
Lactaid Lady: oh no you didnt...
Lactaid Lady: T dont like that
ISmellNY: T don't like this either.
Lactaid Lady: nope
ISmellNY: *punches Col in the mouth*
Lactaid Lady: You=dead
ISmellNY: Me=God's Son
Lactaid Lady: (checks with god) Nope
Lactaid Lady: he says you aint nut-ting
ISmellNY: Awwwwwwwww shit.
ISmellNY: It's on now!
Lactaid Lady: bring it!
ISmellNY: *Punches col in the shouler and kicks her in the thigh*
Lactaid Lady: you cant hurt me
Lactaid Lady: (col grows into the incredible hulk)
Lactaid Lady: (growls)
Lactaid Lady: ROAAAR!
ISmellNY: AHhhhhhhhh
ISmellNY: *runs*
ISmellNY signed off at 7:46:18 PM.
Lactaid Lady: ya damn right
For awhile I've been building this sandcastle. My own little kingdom. But this week an obnoxious bully keeps showing up. Continually knocking it down. Til all that's left is a pile of sand. You know how he reacts? He smiles and laughs at my misfortune. A gleam in his eye as he does it.

Just STOP god damn it! KNOCK IT OFF!

I just want to build a sandcastle. Tears of frustration. My efforts go to waste. Constant destruction of my dream. My life.
A pile of sand.

At least I have sand.

Come with me to a journey around...Question Corner!

Would you rather be a prostitute or a nun?
My answer: nun
Reason: I wouldnt be able to deal with having multiple partners in return for money. I'd feel skeevy

Who would you rather "do," Jay Leno or Dave Letterman?
My answer: Letterman
Reason: Well its mainly because I find him funnier and that he's from NY...otherwise the thought of it is pretty gross

Which would you chose: a bitter genie OR a cheese sandwich?
My answer: Cheese sandwich
Reason: Uhh...cheese RULES!

What's more awkward: walking in on someone in the bathroom OR giving an old person a sponge bath?
My answer: sponge bath
Reason: well, there are many. First of all I dont want to even go near the old genitalia. Second, there is a better chance to have eye contact more than once. Third, what if the old person has no shame...((Shiver))

Now that you are all disturbed at the thought of an old person naked in a tub of water...I will leave you.

Wednesday, April 03, 2002

Honesty time!!
Senior year is like an oxymoron. The beginning is so much fun. Then college rears its ugly head. We freak out. For me it's like I've been in this long hallway with a nice red door at the end that says College. You start to walk down this hallway once school begins. You pass kindergarden. Elementary school. Junior High...oh awkwardness. Then your a freshman. Oh the seniors are so cool! No, they just don't care. They act obnoxious cuz they can. They are leaving. So why care? All of a sudden this HUGE red door is right in my face. But there is black hole posted on the wall beside it. Like the ones cartoons use to escape. Escape. Escape reality. Cmon. Jump inside. So many fall apart at the end of this hallway. I look. I see it. I sigh and shake my head. What are you doing? I just look ahead. The knob is shiny and gold. I grab it. Turn...

Ben Folds Five = Good time Music

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

hmmm...dis what I'm tinkin' bout:

1. I need a hair cut soon. Will you do it?
2. I need to get a job. Would you hire me?
3. Holy Crap I'm actually going to california. Bonus: with my 2 best friends!
4. Aretha Franklin can really bring the house down
5. It's nice outside; I'll probably stay indoors with Mr.Television
6. (points finger up) To the Shower!!

Question O the Day:
Would you rather own a UFO or a Nimbus 2001 (for those who dont read Harry Potter, it's the brooms they fly on)?

Monday, April 01, 2002

Note: The last post deals with something that upset me, hence some of the irrational thoughts mentioned in my poem. It was pure emotion and it was how I felt/feel. Hopefully people don't take offense to it and realize it was a way of venting my reaction.

Plus: Did you know that I slept with Britney Spears and we're in love, lesbian love. We're going to adopt a baby!

Reality Check: April Fools!! Oh Man, you SO believe that was true!

"Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world, I feel I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in."
---Ricky Fitts from American Beauty

Sunday, March 31, 2002

Last night I had a lot of fun. Thank you to all the people who are my friends. I love you guys. But last night was also filled with a disheartening discovery. I didn't even see the scene, I wasnt ment to. I hear a voice that sounded like Liz tell me "Col...Dan" and I didnt want to follow them all onto the beach. I already knew. So I stood there alone in the cold. Disappointed. Annoyed. Confused.

Sad

Liz later told me that she didnt say anything to me. Someone didn't want me to see it, so I thank that guardian angel. But afterwards I kept thinging: So this is what it's come to. Yes, I know people change. Yes, I realize now there will only be a handful of people I will keep in touch with. But No, I dont understand you Dan. I'm starting to wonder if it was all a lie. That you played the part you needed to and now you moved on. I don't know the truth. The whole thing makes me want to cry. If you read this. This is for you:

The Great Actor

The great actor fooled us all
Vanishing line
Fact or Fiction
I thought you cared
Tricked me
Was it deception,
of the ugliest kind?

Lover of lies
Fake
Trained smile and charm
Did you really mean it,
or was it all for show?
When did your endurance faulter?
Was I attracted to a character?
Was it all make believe?
Is it possible,
that this monster is really you
Maybe I just never saw it
A gradual decay

Your complicated mind consumed you
But you barely put up a fight
Pick a personality
Even you belived the lies

Disappointment and Violation
Naive little me was dooped
The cover was perfect
The pages were blank

What a performance!
Congradulations,
You've won your Oscar
On to the next role
Don't worry
I'll be fine
No matter who you become
I'll always remember
The Great Actor...you were