There was still some grumblings yesterday but not as bad, however, the day was so crazy I didn't really eat much so that probably helped. I did have some time for research and guess what?

Apples AND pears can both make you gassy. And so does basically EVERYTHING else I've been eating. I'm like a gas factory. Here's what I learned from the information superhighway.

First of all when you google search "foods that" the first auto fill is "cause gas." So I'm not alone in my plight. Also, "most people do not realize that passing gas 14 to 23 times a day is normal." Perhaps I need to keep a count.

• Foods that may cause gas include
• beans (good for your heart, more you eat, more you...)
  
• vegetables, such as broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, artichokes, and asparagus (aka Colleen's lunch)
  
• fruits, such as pears, apples, and peaches (aka Colleen's snacks)
  
• whole grains, such as whole wheat and bran (aka Colleen's breakfast)
  
• soft drinks and fruit drinks
  
• milk and milk products, such as cheese and ice cream, and packaged foods prepared with lactose, such as bread, cereal, and salad dressing (this is no surprise)
  
• foods containing sorbitol, such as dietetic foods and sugar-free candies and gums (def chewing 2-3 sticks a gum a day)

So basically ALL of my theories were right. But what exactly am I supposed to eat? This covers most foods. Except candy. How curious I discover this on the weekend of Halloween. Coincidence? I think not. I think someone is trying to Incept this idea into my head to make me buy more candy. Well I refuse! You're going to have to go at least 3 levels into my subconscious and avoid any reference to Umpah Lumpah's from the original Charlie and the Chocolate factory because those suckers still creep me out. You will never convince me they just rolled Violet away to the juicer. No, sir. You just can't trust someone with orange skin and green hair. There, I said it.

Ok so I think I placebo'ed myself into thinking it was the apples. I mean, it's an apple. C'mon! But I have to say I FELT better til around 4ish when there was some mild rumbling. Then I went to play ultimate frisbee around 8:30pm til 10:00pm. There were some sneak attacks during the game but nothing major. Then around 12:30am there was some more significant grumbling.

Now I believe it takes 6-8 hours to digest stuff so technically whatever made me feel gassy around midnight would have been eaten around 4-6pm. What did I eat? Well, I had some remaining hummus from the take out we ordered. Then half a turkey and avocado sammich. And for dinner I basically ate a bowl of cereal with soy milk on the set around 7:30pm. Now the hummus and turkey sandwich were from a restaurant so that could have affected me just cause I didn't make it myself.

Though the timetable might be off I'm starting to suspect perhaps cereal is causing this? I usually eat stuff high in fiber with a little mix of granola and some sliced strawberries in almond milk in the morning around 8am. Perhaps my body can no longer handle the fiber? Lactose intolerance makes no sense either because it's not technically milk. Also I already beat that once and if need be I'll do it again.

Now the mild gas attack at 3:30pm/4pm could only really have been caused by the cereal in the morning right? Although I did have about half an Asian Pear around 10:30am. Then later I had cereal on set which was Kashi brand. Haven't eaten that in a LONG time so that could be it.

The only thing that doesn't make sense about that is I've been eating that same breakfast for longer than 1 week and a half. I loves me some cereal, so you can image how difficult it was for me to NOT eat it this morning. Instead I ate the other half of the Asian Pear - hopefully if I get gassy I can say it's the pear but again it's not a new item to my diet.

I just realized that my love of pumpkin flavored items could be the cause. It's that time of year and I basically can't help myself especially when it comes to the fro-yo. Not gonna lie, last week I think I had some form of it just about every day. Perhaps THAT'S IT?! But again, only problem is I didn't eat that at all yesterday. Nor does it make sense in the timing per my digestive cycle.

I'm grasping at straws here and I REALLY don't want to do one of those super Hollywood things and turn to a cleanse for help. Mostly because I don't think I can handle eating nothing but lemon water for more than a day.

The mystery continues.

I'm gonna get real with you guys right now. It should come as NO surprise that I do indeed own the book whose art is displayed to the left. It should also not surprise you that I think farts are hilarious. What can I say - I'm forever five years old. And though I find the IDEA of farts enjoyable the reality is sometimes they aren't so fun. Case in point, the overwhelming stench of a dog fart that creeps in on you like a ninja. The story of it is great to share but the experience singes your nose hairs.

Now I'm not one of those women who will pretend they don't poop or fart. And I don't consider myself a gassy person in general BUT as of late it's a bit of an issue. Mostly since it's in the form of the silent but deadly variety. This has been happening for the past week and it's really unacceptable so I've tasked myself to figure out what exactly is happening.

"You are what you eat." That's the basis of my theory on where this gas is coming from. Lately I've been eating more of a vegetarian diet but that's been going on for at least 5 months without incident so it MUST be something NEW that I'm eating or eating too much of. I'm playing detective Goldie Locks at this point.

At first I thought maybe it's the catered lunch at work, but I've eaten the fish and veggies before. However, to rule it out I tried one day no fish. Same result. One day no tofu. Same result. One day no fruit after lunch. Same result. One day no mixed nuts. Same result. So yesterday since we are filming on location we had to order lunch and I brought my own. I made a sandwich I've eaten a thousand times before. Nothing happened til later in the afternoon, later than usual.
I thought, "what did I eat later today than I usually do? And is this thing a newer item?"

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but it seems for me it keeps the gas coming this a-way. Or at least that's my CURRENT theory. Apples are now in season and I've just recently starting buying fresh ones at the farmers market. Enough to last me the week. And I've been eating one a day, usually around 10:30am when I get hunggies but yesterday I had it later in the day. So my logic tells me the apple might be the cause which is sad because I love me the farmers market apples but perhaps they are just TOO fresh for me to handle.

Therefore, today's test: No apple and God willing, no gas. I'll let you know how it goes...

Riddle me this: When the queue for any DVD service such as Netflix or the dead carcass of Blockbuster tells you there is a "long wait" for a DVD, what happens? From what very little I picked up on in my high school economics class I'm pretty sure the demand has exceeded the supply.

Here's an example:
My co-worker Alexander was hoping to watch the old Tron before the new movie comes out (which I have mixed feelings on). He said Tron went from "long wait" to "unavailable."

Well that's just a lie. They HAD it before. Did some nerd decide to keep it and pay the overpriced 30 dollar charge? It's happened to me before. There is NO WAY a disc of The Sopranos cost that much. It's one disc not the whole set and besides I DID GIVE IT BACK! But I digress...

This "long wait" must mean there are some people at the front of that line. I'm sure they won't just step out of line, I mean they are SO close. But with something like Netflix, how would you know where in line you were? And could it be Alexander has been told it's unavailable now in order for him to give up hope and take it off his queue?

So to all those ready to give up I quote the words of Wilson Phillips, "I know that there is pain but cha hold on for one more day and break free from the chains." Because someday, somebody is gonna turn around and give that disc back and it'll be like finding a $20 in an old pair of jeans. Truly glorious.

Otherwise I turn to my fail safe answer: The internet. I'm sure Tron is just a torrent away. If only I knew how to download those things. I just fall short of being savvy enough.