Lactaid Lady: josh would you ever take a dump, catch it in a bag on the way into the toilet and then shake it out onto someone's lawn?
ISmellNY: maybe
ISmellNY: depends
Lactaid Lady: on what?
Lactaid Lady: if it was ziplock...
ISmellNY: i'd like paper more
Lactaid Lady: ok so you'd crouch in your bathroom and dump on some newspaper
ISmellNY: sure
Lactaid Lady: then throw it on someone's lawn
ISmellNY: sure
ISmellNY: why?
Lactaid Lady: i dunno i think it would be hilarious if someone actually did that
Lactaid Lady: i mean, what a great story to tell my kids
Saturday, January 04, 2003
Friday, January 03, 2003
Yeah so I think I'm addicted to Hot Fries. It all starts with one fry, then I'm all eating the whole damn bag. The other day I bought 2 big bags of them and that same day I ate one whole bag by myself. I then waited til later this night to eat the rest of the hot fries that my brother opened. And I think tomorrow I'll go out and buy s'mo. I hope they make a patch and I can get myself out of this potential road to disaster ASAP. First its just one bag a day, then suddenly I blow all my money on it, and I'm selling my parents bed for cash to buy up all the bags at 7-11. Then I'm living on the streets dancing on a box to make ends meat...so I can buy bags. Then I'm heating the fries on a spoon and shooting it up.
And so today's lesson is not to throw carrots at old people.
And so today's lesson is not to throw carrots at old people.
Thursday, January 02, 2003
I apologize for no updates in the past days. I have totally forgotten about the Phrase O the Week. I've decided who it will go to.
This week it goes to Merry. You see in the beginning of the week...or was it last week? Eh, whatev. She wanted to go to a diner. But there were some conditions of going. You see Merry doesnt like to take these things called "showers" very often and won't deny that. One fine day she asked me to go to the diner with her wearing pjs cuz she hadn't showered OR changed even though it was about 3pm. I said ok fine, I'll change back for you. After that Sudhanshu was saying how great it would be if him and I didnt change and Merry had. He couldnt wait to see her face, because he's the devil. Then as we were discussing her reaction if we showed up wearing regular clothes Merry said:
if you show up without pjs on I will cut your face off with a knife
Aw, Mer...that's SO sweet. You'd do that, just for me? Wow. We are special friends. Nothing says lovin' like a slash to the face.
Note: Her statement single handedly scared me into at least wearing PJ pants instead of not changing at all as Sudie had wanted.
This week it goes to Merry. You see in the beginning of the week...or was it last week? Eh, whatev. She wanted to go to a diner. But there were some conditions of going. You see Merry doesnt like to take these things called "showers" very often and won't deny that. One fine day she asked me to go to the diner with her wearing pjs cuz she hadn't showered OR changed even though it was about 3pm. I said ok fine, I'll change back for you. After that Sudhanshu was saying how great it would be if him and I didnt change and Merry had. He couldnt wait to see her face, because he's the devil. Then as we were discussing her reaction if we showed up wearing regular clothes Merry said:
if you show up without pjs on I will cut your face off with a knife
Aw, Mer...that's SO sweet. You'd do that, just for me? Wow. We are special friends. Nothing says lovin' like a slash to the face.
Note: Her statement single handedly scared me into at least wearing PJ pants instead of not changing at all as Sudie had wanted.
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Breakin' da law!
A car drives up to the stoplight. Straight ahead its empty. No one is behind me. All clear to the left. On the right headlights shine from the police car. The girl inside laughs.
Colleen: I was thinking of going through the light if it wasn't for that po-po.
A moment passes, the cop goes over the hill. Another set of headlights approaches and passes through the green light. The toyota sits still at the red.
Colleen: I hate this light. No one is ever around and its still red.
She looks around again. No one is around.
Colleen: (to Tim) What do you think?
Tim: Do it.
The toyota goes through the red light. Soon after there are sounds of rejoicing and claims of being bad ass.
A car drives up to the stoplight. Straight ahead its empty. No one is behind me. All clear to the left. On the right headlights shine from the police car. The girl inside laughs.
Colleen: I was thinking of going through the light if it wasn't for that po-po.
A moment passes, the cop goes over the hill. Another set of headlights approaches and passes through the green light. The toyota sits still at the red.
Colleen: I hate this light. No one is ever around and its still red.
She looks around again. No one is around.
Colleen: (to Tim) What do you think?
Tim: Do it.
The toyota goes through the red light. Soon after there are sounds of rejoicing and claims of being bad ass.
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