Friday, April 19, 2002

Oh snap guess who won Phrase O the Week? Uh, yeah ME! That's right, I say funny things...

So Liz wanted to know how many eyes ants have. I sadly had to break the news to her that they indeed had none. Now she didnt just ask this for no reason, ya see she has to make a children's book..equipped with drawings. So I told her she could still draw eyes on these ants and totally mess with the childs education by showing them a picture of a lie. She then said, "thats what i'm thinking itd be stupid if it didnt have no eyes." To which I replied:

Yeah...just like blind people

Thats right, blind people are stupid. I don't care. They won't read what I have to say. And you know why? Because they can't see. HA HA!!

*I then lost my vision for the next hour*
I find this humorus, hopefully you will too. I call it, Love of a Lifetime:
Snape143=Me
FJive45=Liz
Parker=my dog

Snape143: do you like the puppy
Snape143: mr.parker
FJive45: is he asking
FJive45: man hes so insecure
Snape143: i know
Snape143: he wants to know
Snape143: he wants to take you to the prom
FJive45: he does?...
FJive45: i...dont even know how to respond
FJive45: wait yes i do...
FJive45: NO
FJive45: HE'S A DOG YOU FREAK!!!
FJive45: stop hiding behind your dog and ask me yourself!
Snape143: no parker wants to know
Snape143: not me..
Snape143: i swear!
Snape143: i-i have a date
FJive45: ...
FJive45: umm
FJive45: you WOULD!
Snape143: your just jealous!
Snape143: and I love you!
FJive45: your just a slut!
FJive45: and i love sluts!
Snape143: [gasp]
Snape143: well then we must marry
FJive45: what happens now
FJive45: AH!
FJive45: of couuuurse
Snape143: who wants to be the man?
FJive45: hmm
FJive45: shotty woman!
Snape143: damn
Snape143: but i'm the slut
Snape143: how does that work?
Snape143: you have to be slutty then
FJive45: why do you make our relationship so complicated we JUST want to get married
FJive45: you're alllways diong this!
FJive45: i'm going to beat you y'hear me!
Snape143: i want out of this relationship, you are suffocating me!
FJive45: fine!
Snape143: you never let me be the lady!
Snape143: you BITCH!
FJive45: there isnt a smiley in the smily box for what i am feeling right now!
Snape143: oh boo woo! :'(
FJive45: ooloo
FJive45: HA!
FJive45: figure that ouy!
Snape143: you are SO difficult
Snape143: i dunno why i fell for you
FJive45: its the BIRD!!
Snape143: i coulda been a dancer!
FJive45: i let you be a stripper
FJive45: nothing is ever enough for you
Snape143: i dont wanna strip no mo
Snape143: i feel iky
FJive45: what are you a nun or something
Snape143: no your the nun
Snape143: and a disturbed one since you made me strip
Snape143: made me get up there and dance for cash
FJive45: you were always hocked up on coke! what was i suppose to do!
Snape143: hey you leave the coke out of this
FJive45: i hata youa
Snape143: i hate you
Snape143: its OVER!
FJive45: :-*pssssh whatev
Snape143: [hands you divorce papers]
FJive45: ::pees on divorce papers::
Snape143: GROSS!
Snape143: [drops a duce on your carpet]
FJive45: EVEN GROSSER!
FJive45: if a duce is what i think it is!
Snape143: yeah thats right!
FJive45: i cant belieeeeve i even thought about names for our ten thousand babies

Don't worry I didnt have ten thousand babies, only nine thousand nine hundred and thirty four.


Wednesday, April 17, 2002

I was given the opportunity to speak with one of the most established and dare I say, exotic people of our time. Our time meaning my age and my friends. My friends being invista-ble...I asked a random stranger and totally made up those first couple sentences. Anyhoo I asked this "stranger" (cough) Merry Mc (cough) many insightful questions:

Question: Would you ever eat a booger?
Answer: If I was starving to death and the only thing in the world left to eat was boogers, sure. I mean, I did it when I was a kid, cant be that bad

Question: Now how much boogers did you eat as a child?
Answer: I dont know

Question: A ton?
Answer: Nah. I didnt do it much.

Question: How about ten pounds?
Answer: (no response)

Question: Did you ever order a pound of boogers instead of a pound of turkey at the supermarket?
Answer: Nah, I'd feel silly. [I never order turkey]

Question: Did you ever go on a date with a booger, to a movie perhaps?
Answer: Nope. Never.

Question: Are you prejudice against boogers?
Answer: A little. Green isn't that great of a color to me. Does nothing for me.

Question: If Brad Pitt was made of boogers, would he still be attractive?
Answer: Probably not. Too slimy for my tastes.

Question: Do you like beef?
Answer: Not particularly.

Question: Do you like kittens?
Answer: Absolutely

Question: Do you like kittens with boogers?
Answer: Meh. You could clean the boogers. If it's a kitten made out of boogers, I'd rather a soft non booger one.

Question: What if your mom told you that you were adopted and you were actually a booger. How would you react?
Answer: I'd probably frown. Than learn to accept it.

Question: What would life as a booger be like?
Answer: Gooey.

Question: What would your hobbies include?
Answer: Same as a normal person. And avoiding being picked.

Question: Whats it like to be picked?
Answer: A piece of pie

THe EnD






Todays Random Fact O the Day is from Ms. Liz Rivalsi

"air is sold in mexico city for $1.15 a minute by sidewalk vendors."

She knows so much about other cultures. I think its cuz she watches The Learning Channel...that or porn. I'm not sure which...

Tuesday, April 16, 2002

Ladies and gentlemen:

aoyiu otuaso fhaoyou oauistoijhaslookoaijfdl rtaelikeoaisejwif jaapenislkmpaoitj'aeinf
quote from nerdroid...super nerd, super hero



to quote Billy Madison: I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!

Yeah thats right, I just won the 2nd grade spelling bee! What now fool?!

Now for the real deal. I noticed that my posts were getting annoying to read. You had to scroll over to read the whole thing. I dunno about you but i find this agitating. Agitating enough to find a way to fix it. Now in case it still appears the same way...allz you gotta do it click on the [+] thing after my name. Yaye! all fixed!

Ithaca or Marymount? Where is my destiny? I think if I flip a coin it would be easier.

[goes on a search for a quarter. naturally i bring a shovel with me on this journy. it's just not a journey without a shovel. thankful i find a quarter and hold it up victoriously.]

Heads its Marymount, Tales its Ithaca...

[tosses future. it tumlbes. its shines. it lands in my palm. deep breath.]

Outcome: Tales



Hurray I is sick. Bronchitis and sinus infection are throwing a HUGE party in my body. And they thought they would get away with it..D.C. is the Devil! Stupid senior trip almost negated itself. Lots O fun, but nasty disease all over da place. But this party is starting to crash. Mr.Sinus is hung over. Bronchitis is passed out on the couch. They are SO going to be kicked out. No one uses me and gets to throw parties in...me. (awkward pause) Yeah. Ok. So...uh, how was your day? (forced smile)

Oh and I know why guys like golf. I analyzed the game. Ok check this out. Now they hit a ball with a stick and hope it goes in a hole. And the hole seems unattainable. The object of the game is to get the ball in the hole with the least amount of hits. Hmmm...get the ball in the hole with the least amount of trying...what ever could that mean??

Saying O the Senior Trip: anything that dealt with F-ing like a Banshee. For example, as Merry stated oh so calmly: Oh I F like a banshee.