I was given the opportunity to speak with one of the most established and dare I say, exotic people of our time. Our time meaning my age and my friends. My friends being invista-ble...I asked a random stranger and totally made up those first couple sentences. Anyhoo I asked this "stranger" (cough) Merry Mc (cough) many insightful questions:

Question: Would you ever eat a booger?
Answer: If I was starving to death and the only thing in the world left to eat was boogers, sure. I mean, I did it when I was a kid, cant be that bad

Question: Now how much boogers did you eat as a child?
Answer: I dont know

Question: A ton?
Answer: Nah. I didnt do it much.

Question: How about ten pounds?
Answer: (no response)

Question: Did you ever order a pound of boogers instead of a pound of turkey at the supermarket?
Answer: Nah, I'd feel silly. [I never order turkey]

Question: Did you ever go on a date with a booger, to a movie perhaps?
Answer: Nope. Never.

Question: Are you prejudice against boogers?
Answer: A little. Green isn't that great of a color to me. Does nothing for me.

Question: If Brad Pitt was made of boogers, would he still be attractive?
Answer: Probably not. Too slimy for my tastes.

Question: Do you like beef?
Answer: Not particularly.

Question: Do you like kittens?
Answer: Absolutely

Question: Do you like kittens with boogers?
Answer: Meh. You could clean the boogers. If it's a kitten made out of boogers, I'd rather a soft non booger one.

Question: What if your mom told you that you were adopted and you were actually a booger. How would you react?
Answer: I'd probably frown. Than learn to accept it.

Question: What would life as a booger be like?
Answer: Gooey.

Question: What would your hobbies include?
Answer: Same as a normal person. And avoiding being picked.

Question: Whats it like to be picked?
Answer: A piece of pie

THe EnD