Thursday, October 04, 2001

Sorry there was no dose of funny yesterday, the site decided to be junk again and not let me update.
But i'll give ya some great stuff today to make up for it

Lets not forget about the impending danger of being hit by an ansteroid. Not like an asteroid hitting earth, thats juibba jabba, i'm talkin about getting hit in the head. And impact zone on your skull. You're walkin down the street mindin your own biz when BAM! you're been hit upstyle by a rock from outer space. And there is really no insurance for it. Its the luck of the draw. And there is usually a high rate of death if the rock is big. Not all of them burn up in the atmosphere. We need a defense system, like an umbrella hat..cept its made of metal. The majority of people are hit in the head so that makes sense. Or it could be major Junk and just be an umbrella hat covered by tin foil but make it look all medal n such in the infomercials. Get some cheesy actors in there (* inside note:danielle gets excited over the use of cheesy). I can see it now (you enter my mind)
::Guy walkin down the street::
--Announcer: Has this ever happened to you or someone you know?
::Suddenly asteroid comes out of NO WHERE, hits directly, there is a Boom and cloud of smoke. All thats left is a pile o ashes. We hear a voice say: What the..::
--Announcer: Say goodbye to sudden death and hello to Anti-Asteroid Iniolation (Show hat rotatin 'round like its nobody's business thru use of special effects or string, depends on budget)
::Show another guy jogging along and wearing hat, asteroid comes at him all mad, it hits the hat and falls to the ground. Guy continues to live, turns to camera, thumbs up: Thank you Anti-Asteroid Iniolation!

*Tot ser quote- "Keep your words nice and sweet. You may have to eat them someday."-Anon.

*Wise words from Conan, O'Brien that is: "If you laugh at yourself loud and hard everytime you fall, people will think you're drunk."

Great songs at the moment: Coldplay-Everythings Not Lost, Spies.....Wyclef-Gone til November......Weezer- Photograph

Site to check out that will make you laugh while I'm away.. T'inator (it changes any website into the language of Mr.T..FOO!) And as I just stated I will be away for the weekend, going upstate. You got the house to yourself, No parties!

Tuesday, October 02, 2001

This is from yesterday..

10/1/01...Check out that date. Its like binary code. I hope the govt doesnt come after me b/c I made this revelation. I'll have to watch my back. I dont see any objects like trees or garbage cans following me around. But this could be a new top secret, very hush hush, operation. My pen could be bugged...(eyes down pen. Rips it apart...finds nothing. resembles it.) well no bug in the pen. They could have taken over all the cameras in the school. So I'll have to turn invisible in the halls. Or hide in the mass of people.
I cant get caught. I'm like a secret biological weapon of crazy tings. They'll probably clone me and make an army. Then send a whole lot of "Me's" to Afganistan. Then the whole world will catch on fire from the insanity. And the anti-violence "Me's" (who pretended to be killin machines while being trained) will revolt. They'll try and talk the evil "Me's" into not killin, but thats all they know so it might take awhile. Geez, I hope I dont get found. All hell will break loose.

Monday, October 01, 2001

Scuba Steve suggests changing the spelling of "Junk" to "JunCK"...it will go into consideration.
Note: Scuba Steve=my dad
Random thoughts:

Funny word: 'Splode

My mom said "oh snap" yesterday. I think i'm a bad influence on her.

We need a cure for the common cold. I dont have one yet (knock on wood) but
i mean cmon, those scientists have had no luck with cancer and they have
worked on that for what? 10 yrs. enough of that business. We need to find
a cure for the cold, get some money flowing there. Not everyone gets cancer.
(i apologize for that last statement if i offended anyone. I think i
offended myself cuz i am mumbling "thats horrible")

Wouldnt it be funny if someone with no soul yelled obsentities at old
people. But the old people would have to be either senile or cant hear, so
that way they would forget what just happened or not hear it. (that one was
mainly for liz, she knows what i'm talkin about)

Now get your DAMN hands up! - brought to you by H to the izzle.

New Phrase: Thats JUNK! (this site was absolute junk yesterday when it wouldnt let me update)

And on that note i'll bit you adue..(that CANT be spelled right)

Song O the Day: Bang Bang by Dispatch