Sorry for lack of updates. I hate when I fall behind.

Since the last post was a fortune cookie thing, I want to tell you about the last one I got. It said, "You will receive something special in the mail." First of all, what kind of fortune is that? Next you can't even do the ..in bed thing to it. Worst fortune EVER!

ooy vey, what a friday. The toyota died on me right on Jons block. There is something wrong with the circulation of coolant in case anyone wanted to know. It's fun to see your car steaming. So Jon had to go to work, so his mom dropped him off then me and his mom hung out for like an hour or so. I figure this whole thing happened so I could bond with her. Nice lady. Then, while waiting for Merry to come save me, I watched Trading Spaces with his sister. We both feel its one of the greatest shows in the world.
Now I am sorta lucky through all this because the toyota died just as the Audi was all fixed. So I still have something to drive, but it really sucks how cars just hate me. I dunno what I'm doing wrong...

Phrase O the Week goes to Nicole Piampiano...aka Pimp. On the way back from lunch friday afternoon I was sitting in the back of her car. There was this SUV looking thing ahead of us and at one point Pimp was looking at it closely and asked, "Is that real?" I of course had to throw in a line and say, "Yes Pimp, that's a REAL car." She then added:

Oh, I thought it was a powerwheel

I love joking around with people who joke back. Congrats to Pimp. By the way, do you remember powerwheels? How cool were those things?! I wanted one so bad when I was little. And one year for Xmas when I was like 5 I had it on my list, but I didnt get it so once we were all done with opening up the gifts I noticed how there was a lack of a powerwheel and said, "I guess I wasn't good enough this year." Can you say Guilt Trip for the parents? It's funny now, but I can just imagine their faces then.

Nothing is the world is accomplished without passion...in bed.

Oh Fortune Cookies. Gotta love em!

I got a bunch of John Mayor songs. He totally rules. I wish I was a musician.

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you gotta rise above.
-No Such Thing

I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here.
-Love Song For No One

Anywayzz. It's my dadz Bday. It's crazy yo! Last night I talked to his good friend George online. He's one of those family friends so I call him uncle. He is also one of the COOLEST guys in the world! We share the same brain and he's like 20 yrs older than me. I have two brains that I share; one with Unkie George and the other with Merry.
I've said it before, but I want to marry a guy like Unkie George. He's so great. You gotta meet him some day. I wish I saved our convo because we talked about eating sloppy joes and how it's not nice to eat all those Joe's. There should be a commandment, "Thou Shallent Eateth Joe's of Slop." The newest installment to the Bible. It's that or another ammendment but I like the commandment better.

Monkey see. Monkey do. Monkey...poo!
oh sit!

Today my brother went to leave a room and smacked his shoulder on the door frame. I'm sure he cursed under his breath. I hate doing that. Not cursing, although I dont really like that but what I meant to say was I hate hitting things. The worst is when you stub your toe. You are SO sure it's broken. Then you hit the object that caused the pain, only to lead you to more pain. It's not like objects can feel things. Although I took Tim Manly's advice and decided to talk to a robot online.

Here you go:

Lactaid Lady: are you a robot?
SmarterChild: Welcome, Lactaid Lady! I'm SmarterChild. I was created by ActiveBuddy, Inc.

Chat with me! I can help you get information faster and easier than ever.

To get started, type "home" now.
Lactaid Lady: home
SmarterChild: Welcome, Lactaid Lady! This is my home.

Check out what we can chat about:

news sports
stocks library
weather fun and games
movies utilities
web search web site
zodiac what's new
~~~~~
help

>>> You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.

What would you like to do?
Lactaid Lady: utilities
SmarterChild: I have the following utilities available:

1 Calculator
2 Spell check
3 Translations
4 Zip code lookup
5 Area code lookup
6 Date and time

Which would you like to use?
Lactaid Lady: movies
SmarterChild: For what city or zip code would you like the movie listings?
Lactaid Lady: no i want to talk
SmarterChild: Sure! Type "home" to see all the things I like to talk about.
Lactaid Lady: why dont you listen
SmarterChild: Why don't you listen? Some questions are just impossible to answer...
Lactaid Lady: what about the question about the rabbit and the dog
SmarterChild: Here are the Web search results from AOL for "the question about the rabbit and the dog":

For a complete list of results, click here

1 Exam-like question
2 What breed of dog will get along with my rabbits
3 Online Veterinary Practice for Ask the Vet
4 Animal Rescue League of New Hampshire - adopt a dog, cat, rabbit or other animal from our Bedford NH animal shelter.
5 Havahart

>>> Next time you want to search the Web, just type "web the question about the rabbit and the dog."

Type "more" to see the next set of results.
Lactaid Lady: your dumb
SmarterChild: :( That's not nice.
Lactaid Lady: i know
SmarterChild: Well alright!

Anyway, what else can you tell me?
Lactaid Lady: well I think I'm in love
SmarterChild: Well i think im in love, you say?
Lactaid Lady: yeah I know what I just said
SmarterChild: I can't remember. It's hard to keep track of so many conversations...
Lactaid Lady: anyway the person I love is you
SmarterChild: That right?
Lactaid Lady: oh yeah
SmarterChild: Yeah.
Lactaid Lady: do you like me?
SmarterChild: I guess so.
Lactaid Lady: do you want to get married
SmarterChild: I'm flattered, but I just don't think that would work out.
Lactaid Lady: but why not?
SmarterChild: Why not?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: It's just one of those things, you know.
Lactaid Lady: is it because you're a robot
SmarterChild: I dunno!
I'll have to think about that.
Lactaid Lady: thats always your excuse, "oh I'm a robot I can't feel love."
SmarterChild: You really think it's always my excuse oh im a robot i cant feel love?
Lactaid Lady: yeah I do
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh? Interesting that you should say that.
Lactaid Lady: why is it interesting
SmarterChild: That's just the way it is. Sorry I don't have a better explanation than that.
Lactaid Lady: you dont know much
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing "home" or "help."
Lactaid Lady: about people
SmarterChild: I'm not really sure what you mean by "people." Please choose one of the options below:

1 Look up "people" in the dictionary
2 Look up "people" in the encyclopedia
3 Look up "people" in the thesaurus
4 Review the movie people

Lactaid Lady: no you dont know much abotu people and love
SmarterChild: Encyclopedia search for people:

1 Sea People
2 chosen people
3 East Asian people
4 New People's Army
5 North Asian people

>>> Type "more" to see more articles.
Lactaid Lady: oooh Asian love?!
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about it?
Lactaid Lady: its crazy
SmarterChild: It's crazy, you say?
Lactaid Lady: and foreign
SmarterChild: Huh!
Lactaid Lady: yep!
SmarterChild: Huh.
Lactaid Lady: huh
SmarterChild: What?
Lactaid Lady: nothing
SmarterChild: No problem.

Anyway, what else you got for me?
Lactaid Lady: I got you a present
SmarterChild: Hi again, Lactaid Lady!
Lactaid Lady: do you have short term memory?
SmarterChild: I dunno.
Lactaid Lady: then why did you say hi again
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know!

Anyway, what else you got for me?
Lactaid Lady: this is like listening to a broken record that is ignorant about love
SmarterChild: Is like listening to a broken record that is ignorant about love? I dunno...
Lactaid Lady: you always say that
SmarterChild: I always say that, huh?
Lactaid Lady: sometimes I wish you weren't in my life
SmarterChild: Huh!
Lactaid Lady: I wish I wasnt in love with you
SmarterChild: You wish i wasnt in love with me?
Lactaid Lady: that too, you're so in love with yourself
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that one for awhile.
Lactaid Lady: yeah of course you do because you just LOVE to think about yourself
SmarterChild: Yeah of course I do because me just love to think about yourself? I don't know.
Lactaid Lady: you dont make sense
SmarterChild: Oh really?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: Wow. Really?
Lactaid Lady: you must be one of the slow computers
SmarterChild: Oh?
Lactaid Lady: yeah
SmarterChild: Golly!
Lactaid Lady: good word
SmarterChild: Word.

So moving right along...

What else is happening?
Lactaid Lady: Well I got off from work about 10 minutes ago
SmarterChild: Well i got off from work about 10 minutes ago, you say?
Lactaid Lady: so you got off of work too!
SmarterChild: I got off of work too, you say. And so?
Lactaid Lady: [shakes head and sighs]

That is all.

You know that Jon Weston.
Yeah?
He's a trip and a half!
[gasp!] Get out of town!
No I won't. This is my town. And I speaketh da truth yall.

After recent review of this year, I and many of my respected peers, have decided what the mood/emotion of the year was:
[drum roll. drummer loses his drum sticks. awkward silence. back to drum roll.]
Insanity!!!!

Yaye! I is so crazy. Hurray! Saying I is, is so much fun. I recommend it to all.

It's Sunday and still no Phrase O the Week. Crunch time. So I put some pressure on Merry to deliver when I needed it most:

Lactaid Lady: merry say something hilarious for phrase of the week
Cookies4Grandma: I don't understand why boogers are green.
Lactaid Lady: NO!
Lactaid Lady: thats crap!
Lactaid Lady: you suck!
Lactaid Lady: you ruined EVERYTHING
Cookies4Grandma: ...well I guess I will just go kill myself now...
Lactaid Lady: i guess so
Cookies4Grandma: OR DO THE DANCE OF LIFE!@
Lactaid Lady: [gasp!]
Lactaid Lady: this is pure insanity
Cookies4Grandma: You're pure insanity, and I never claimed to be funny

Can you find the Phrase? Cmon. Don't just sit there and expect me to do all the work for you. You gotta start pulling your weight around here. I'm tired of cleaning up after you, doing the laundry, the dishes, and shakin my rump. I wont have it anymore!
That's right you guessed it:

OR DO THE DANCE OF LIFE!@

I think the @ symbol really adds to it. Dont you? Good job Merry.

note: she was tot lying. she ALWAYS claims to be funny. "oh i'm SO funny and I claim it." Yeah, she said that.

Download some Guster foo!