Sorry for the servere delay in updates. I have been rather busy with RA stuff, checking rooms, making door tags, making staff shirts, all the while going to sessions from about 9am-5pm....then staff meeting til about 10pm. But its been a lot of fun working with the awesome staff I have.

So now without further hesitation I'd like to add another splendid essay here from Orientation. This one is from the last session (6). And for those who dont know, I wrote several essays over the course of Orientation since I had to proctor the writing placement exam.
Enjoy!

There are over a billion people on this planet we have entitled Earth. Some may think the official number is more like a ba-jillion, but you are wrong my friend. With all those people milling around there are millions, dare I say billions of J-O-Bs. There are po-pos (police), drug dealers, and people who make you pay 10 bucks to see their shorter "radio-active" leg. However, in the town of Ithaca New York, Ithaca College pays 20 students each summer to orientate incoming freshman. These are what on may call Orientation Leaders...I, Colleen Evanson, am on o' dem leaders.
Now there comes a time in each Leaders life when they look back over the past three weeks and think, "damn sloppy joes are REAL good" as well as "what have I done with this life?" Well, self, to answer that I'd say you learned an awful lot about people, like how much you HATE them. IT's actually quite easy to hate another human being. For example, they may be stupid, ugly, no intelligent and/or pretty, or simply not attractive. These unfortunate souls may hopefully approach you and ask a question like, "where is the bathroom?" Where is the bathroom?! Damn, you are DUMB. Usually I make up directions with a smile on my face and then once they turn around I roll my eyes in disgust and if I'm feeling up to it raise my middle finger ever so slowly.
Stupidity doesn't discriminate; parents, students, even other OLs. I might not live in what federal law considers a house, or be able to read above a 4th grade level, or pay for things with I go shopping, but I still have - well ok I'll be frank (but my name is still Colleen) I'm better than you. There I said it. I be you my old speak N spell that if there were some type of way to measure how awesome I am the test or measuring apparatus would 'splode all over because I am so awesome it can't handle all the coolness. You know what, I feel like my last sentence may not be able to convey how amazing and better than you I am and I feel like I'm being judged so how about this...
Once I held my breath under water for like almost 30 seconds. That's half a minute for all of you stupids. Technically it was like 26 seconds but that's cuz Billy didn't start as soon as my head was under water and also Billy counts unfairly slow. Regardless, it was 30 seconds, so suck on that for awhile and if that's too sour them how about this. It will blow your mind. I...I can fly. I usually don't tell most people cuz they dont think it's possible but it is if you are awesome enough, and guess what amigo..I am. In fact if you could fly, which I doubt, I could fly real much higher than you and like fly into the ocean and stay under for about 35 seconds, and I totally will as long as Billy doesn't count cuz I've been practicing in my "bath tub," which the federal government tells me I can't go in since it's appearently a water fountain. But whatever people willingly throw their money out. Just the other day I bought a dime bag with it so HA! MOR-ONs.
In conclusion I wear a black polo with a collar and that deems me officially better than you and if you want to try and stay under water for over 35 seconds, bring it! I'll be at the Ithaca College pool, sucker. Be prepared to like lose and stuff.

The End
I feel the need to express I have never bathed in a fountain nor have I ever bought drugs. Some people, despite knowing me long periods of time will still ask if these stories are true.