I recieved this is my email today:

dear colleen,

this is a hard one. now i'm partially to blame for your heritage. all i can say is , sorry. do you want to try changing your name? how about chan, its easy to spell which is to your benefit. remember you are relatively short so you could fake it. try walking around without contacts. all that squinting should convince people. and driving without any glasses should certify you as another crazy oriental on the road. perhaps carrying a eggroll around will help. i am expecting that you can handle the accent. well, i'm all out of prejudicial observations.

Love, Dad

Last night Yvone decided to rub the fact that I can't have asian babies in my face several times over. You see I randomly stated that I don't like being white, and I would like an asian baby. Yvone yelled that she could have them. I yelled that I would steal hers. She yelled that she would have more. I yelled that I'd eat her babies. She was distraught. I took back my statement cuz I can't eat babies that's just wrong. Then I asked if I couldnt have babies if she would give me her ova so I could have an asian baby. She said yes. I then said I was going to steal her ova. I will stop at nothing.

Dana wants to have a disclaimer that states, "Hey at least I didn't eat any babies." That way no matter what you REALLY did, it won't be that bad.

Also Dana and I would like to make up a new weather system that never tells you the temperature outside, we just use phrases that make NO sense. For example, "The plausibility is high for today." And people will pretend they know what it is cuz they don't want to seem dumb. Then I'll show a picture of a rock and say, look out kids here comes santa!

Today I shall call Congratulations Day for it tis the day in which I recieved 4 cards.
One - The Family including Stars
Two - Miss Marie and Mr.Tom
Three - Miss Marie and Mr.Tom
Four - Miss Marie and Mr.Tom

Appearently Miss Marie can't make up her mind on a card so she gave me ALL of them. So Mad Props to Ms.Marie and her indecisiveness. Woo!

Dear Weather,

Hi, it's Colleen. I don't mean to be mean but uh, what is your deal? I mean honestly, where do you get off. We all come back from spring break back to this fine area known as Ithaca and you tease us with some spring. Just when I'm getting used to it and getting all happy, you go and ruin it. There is like 4 inches of snow out there, did you fall asleep on the J-O-B?! Now I feel like those nice days didnt exist and you are F-ing with my head. I don't appreciate it at all. Now if you are upset the Julie got kicked off of American Idol this is no way to show it. If you want me to bake you a cake or something that's cool I'll do it, I just want the nice sun to come back outside.

Your human being,
Colleen Evanson

PS-Get yourself to the gym, you are getting a spare tire.

Weekend in Review:

Friday - after shooting a student film for four hours which consisted mostly of standing/sitting around in a crowded room of people progressively getting drunker (it was a party scene and there was a real party going on), I got back to my room and ate leftover food since I didnt eat dinner. I brought a sandwich wrap, applesauce, and a cookie back into Yvone's room. When I got to the sugar cookie I took it out of it's plastic cover and said, "cookie!" Yvone laughed and said that if I was a fattie she would be histerical. I discovered she loves fatties.
We came up with a new insult.
Johnny: Do you have self esteem?
Patty: (no response)
Johnny: Cuz you shouldn't.

Saturday: We hung out in the hallway..we have a lounge with chairs but its all the way down the hall, so the floor and walls will do. We asked a series of questions. Here you try!

1) Hypothetically if you were in a bathing suit and you passed by a pool full of drained cooked macaroni and there was no one else around, would you swim in it?
if yes cont. if not you are no fun
2) Now you finished swimming and you are hungry, would you eat some? (in all fairness there is no way you would have been able to touch every piece of macaroni)
if yes cont.
3) Now you have this big pool full of macaroni that you dont want to go to waste, would you send it to a third world country?
4) Would you tell them people swam in it? Would it be wrong not to tell them people swam in it?
5) Don't you think at some point the Kraft macaroni factory had "Swim in the Macaroni" Day?

Conclusion: We have all probably eaten macaroni that someone else has swam in. And you know what, I'm ok with that.

Sunday: I will never again eat the eggs served at brunch...they are waging war on my estomago (stomach). To Hell with you eggs!