Baja Day 5

Wake up to no electricity which means no hot water. Score. We get up and have tea in the AM as per usual – BSing on the front porch with the neighbors. At least once Lindsey tells Joe to shut up and he suggests perhaps throwing some kind of item at her. We eat some food before going on a jog. Turns out Liz likes small yellow mangos.

We jog to Susie and Phil’s house (last year's baja road trip couple) but they aren’t home. Dag! We jog another mile or two, head back home, stretch and pump iron aka rocks Liz found for another 20 mins or so. We are sweaty and it’s almost 11:30am. We eat something quick, then head over to the pool for volleyball (sign ups needed by 11:45am). Liz needs to do HW so she’ll work and I’ll play. Get there, power is down and internet down all over Baja turns out. Just in time for Liz’s homework. Somehow she thinks telling the teacher she was in baja and the whole place lost electricity won’t really work as a legit excuse for turning an assignment in late. 

Decide I don't need to shower since I'm going in the pool - exactly what the sign outside the pool tells me NOT to do. Whatevs, you're not the boss of me! San Diego's there. We hang out poolside, then get put on the same team. Turns out he’s 35, divorced and has 3 kids including a 16 year old daughter. He’s a big kid himself. And most likely owns more than one Ed Hardy item.

Our team dominates, undefeated. We get cocky, we get our ass kicked, then come back, then lose again. Overall a good run. San Diego tells me he washes windows for a living, I'm semi condescending when I say "oh cool." He then tells me he makes about $1,100 a week. Cue double take: "Say wha?!" Turns out his mom rents these resort condos on the beach:

If we want to make some spare money we can help and he’ll split it with us. Trabajo? Si, por favor!  It might have been the 2 margaritas in me but I excitedly pitch this proposition to Liz, bum rushing her with an enthusiastic "Get this!?" 

I figured this would be later this week. Nope, it's pretty much right after pool vball. Since we're high school kids without a license San Diego gives us a ride back to Joe and Lindsey's to tell them we found some work and not worry about feeding us. We'd call but they don't have cell phones or a working house phone since the power out. Oldschool mode of communication. And I kinda love it. Actually talking to people?! Having to meet at a previously established rendezvous point?! Es crazy no?

On the ride over to San Diego's condo he lives in with his mom aka his mom's condo he apologizes for the potentially awkward exchanges to come. We assure him it's cool. Before we can clean windows we get keys to the condos, have to take out the garbage, confiscate bedding for laundry, and take the equivalent of Craiglist photos of a 2 bedroom house for rent in the ranch. At 200/mo (or 125/mo if you know the right people) it's steal until inside and smells like old man. Pass.

We also take shots like this.

Working hard for the money.

We go to OXXO to get beer to make cleaning more fun aka buying Tecate and Boones which turns out is a high school/college drink because it's so sweet and cheap. I really am a freshman in college right now. Sangria delicious – also tons of sugar. Yum! 

Meet San Diego's puppy named Tank.

Proceed to have love affair. 

Meet San Diego's mom.

Proceed to have love affair with her shit ton of alcohol. We tequila taste. Then after we tried stuff and ask how we too can make our own homemade kahlua she asks how old we are. You know, just to make sure we're legal since we're now a little buzzed. Liz spots whipped cream vodka. I've never had it. All eyes go wide. Well you HAVE to taste it. Twist my arm. Down the hatch it, they wait for my reaction and inevitable love.

Liz's reply: "I’m sorry and you’re welcome.” San Diego's mom says don’t steal it. He steals it.

We don’t clean, instead we drive around on the beach and around the complex making the siren go off when we pass people, cause San Diego's truck has some kind of cop car alarm in it. Liz drives, we drink, she takes a few shots. There’s no rules in Mexico! We yell ALTO at the stop signs.

San Diego coaches Liz in driving over dunes before taking us on a beach run. He gets real, admits he’s on the run from the law or rather his parole officer, nothing too cray-cray.  There are dark things like suicides and ex-wives pregnant by other dudes while still married things happening. We walk into the muddy shore, feet sinking up to our ankles, like nasty high socks or something overpriced spas would offer. 

We go back to the house, quickly wash windows of ONE house right before the family arrives. No streak techniques thanks to some elbow grease. San Diego's mom steals back vodka from his car. Then she gives us the kalua and ameretto tequila to enjoy. Tells her son not to drink and drive. Catch 22 much? 

We head into town for dinner, opting not to shower, we are at the point of no return anyway. We go into town. It’s starting to get mobbed. People camping on beach, vendors on the street. Churros! Liz is grumpy bc she’s hungry. San Diego will eat where ever we want. We sit outside a little restaurant. Have amazing fish tacos that take awhile thanks to those damn Canadians hogging a huge table inside. We eat super hot salsa and chips. Liz gets a margarita, but has one complaint: There's not enough booze, the guy adds more til she’s satisfied and high fives him.

We order, I attempt Spanglish the girl brings another girl over who speaks English – I just didn’t want my fish breaded (and of course I don’t remember how to say it) We meet wondering white dudes. They eat with us. Travis and Sean - both Djs, both randomly came to San Felipe from Seattle. San Diego isn’t a fan of competition (despite convo about being just being friends at the pool). San Diego pays for us as a thank you since we really didn’t clean. It’s the best fish taco liz has had. I know you might be thinking - wait. Liz, the vegetarian ate fish? Well, she does if she's drunk enough.

We leave them. San Diego talks about how he thinks they are gay, he getting a condo and “partying” except it’s just the three of us. We find Sean and Travis again. We get churros, Liz calls the guy her novio and he gives her a TON of them.

She’s happy. We eat, dance in the street filled with people and live music.

A mexican man talks with us and shows his nieces (i think) that gringos dance. Yes, badly. He then talks to us in Spanish and turns out I know more than I realize. But I am not good at hablaring back. Comprendo? He tells each of us that tomorrow he’ll be there selling the best water but then changes it to tequila. Que? I go to make Liz’s dreams come true with a stuffed churro. But they are out of chocolate. Check minus.

We go back and forth from San Diego's parked truck to drink. Turns out Sean and Travis don’t drink – um, why are you in mexico? San Diego continues to pitch that they are gay. So does liz. Turns out they aren’t. Still, San Diego no gusta.

See Liz drink.

See Liz find street vendor with shiny bracelets - almost free! (which is what they all tell you. It's part of their sale happening today only... but probs tomorrow also). 

See Liz get swindled. "What's that you're selling them for the exact amount of money I have?! Get out!" 

See Liz immediately regret that decision as Sean and Travis look on.

Liz then tries to resell them. Finds another vendor who almost gives her 50 pesos. She's about to close the deal, he inspects and tells her it’s bad stuff. He then gives her a butterfly bracelet for free. Mi Novio! I have a three minute long video of this all going down which remains my favorite video of the entire trip. 

We walk around, drink, BS, decide to ride back on the beach, almost go off a cliff edge to the water. Don't worry mom it would have only been like a 4 feet drop. We then safely find the beach, listening to  Weezer as we drive feet away from the water.

We decide to call it a night. San Diego is oddly bummed we don’t want to go back to a big condo and party with him, just the three of us. Don't worry, I'd take the couch. Liz aptly replies, "Yeah ok, guy we just met." It was all fun and games til he couldn’t close the sale. He does give us the Kalua to finish but his mom does need the bottle back. We admire our collection of booze from boys showing us a good time.