This weekend is kind of a big deal for me. As some may have heard, the TV show I work on is finally coming back - after a 7.5 month hiatus. And I have a new position this season. (I went from showrunner assistant to writer assistant: BOO-YA).
Today I realized that this will be my first REAL weekend since I start work on Monday. Not that I really slept in too late and I didn't today because I had a Kung Fu lesson at 8am. Yeah, you heard me. Though at this point, I doubt anyone is surprised. This is what happens when I read a book in the park. Some Shifu (aka Kung Fu master) comes up and asks if I want to learn Kung Fu.
Shrug. "Yeah, ok."
Best part is, his name is Mr. Smith, like Agent Smith from The Matrix where Keanu famously realizes, "Woah. I know Kung Fu."
Moving on - Now I'm very happy to be back to work, I miss the feeling of doing things and not watching Hulu in the middle of the day. Sidenote: I would often judge the productivity of my days by the amount of things I watched online. But let's be honest, plenty of working people do that anyway.
But this last week was tricky. I needed to get done all the things I SAID I'd do and WANTED to do but never did in my one-million days off. Like skydiving or using that massage coupon I found or going to Ireland. Damn! So now it's boiled down to mostly errands. And when else will I have the chance to grocery shop in the afternoon? (Isn't my life super exciting?!) Yet on the other hand it's my LAST free Friday. I should relax, drink wine, try that free sample of cheese from Whole Foods (I wasn't kidding about the grocery store).
I have a feeling that come Sunday night I will have a hard time going to sleep. Mostly out of excitement but also out of knowing that when I wake up on Monday, things won't be the same. Ever again.
That is... IF I wake up...
FADE TO BLACK
"TO BE CONTINUED..."
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Last weekend my roomie-bestie Merry and I went on a hike. Once upon a time when I first moved to LA I was a part of a group that went every Sunday. It was sort of networky-ish in that everyone who was in the group worked in the entertainment industry. There was a core 4-5 of us who went all the time and then we got lazy and I started to go to Farmers Markets instead. We also expanded the group and here and there people would show up who were kind of annoying and messed up our conversation flow we were used to effortlessly having. I know that sounds kind of mean but it's true. Truth hurts, people!
So when Merry told me about people she knew starting up another hiking group I was down to get my hike on once again. The one slight hiccup is that sometimes these "others" will party late and be hung over so come Sunday the 9am hike becomes more like 10:30am or 11am. There's also a geography issue since most of them don't live with Merry and I in the valley. "Let me get this straight, I have DRIVE to Santa Monica? Ugh, it's so far..."
Whining aside, sometimes Merry and I employ the KISS system (Keep It Simple Stupid) and just do a hike that is about 3 miles away from our apartment. This is exactly what we did last Sunday.
So we roll up, I got my camelback, she's got her bottle of water. We set off to concur Fryman. Last time the two of us were there we decided to make it interesting and count the number of people we lapped while hiking - totally unbeknownst to them. Negative points if you yourself get lapped. The beginning of the hike is mostly uphill so it's a tough start. Regardless, last trip we SMOKED 22 suckers!
This time we were determined to beat the record. So we set off at a brisk pace. Mostly everyone is heading downhill so they are passing us on the opposite side - doesn't effect our score but annoying when they are running down a hill and you are walking up a hill, breathing heavy.
Finally we spot our first couple of people to pass. We speed up a bit in the anticipation. And there's an easy first 2 on the board. We pass another couple. 4: booyah! Then there's a fat dude who was faster than anticipated, he's probably trying to get back in shape so good for him but we're still going to kick his ass. And we're at 5.
But it's then, behind us, I hear some clanking, like a water bottle on a keyring. I glance behind. There's some skinny chick, around 30, in a DRESS of all things, coming up the rear. Immediately I turn to Merry and say, "We are not going to be passed by some chick in a dress." She concurs. We take it up a notch to keep our lead. But she's keeping up, even getting closer. WTF?!
Then she stops to fix her hair. We keep going. Talking some smack along the lines of, "Yeah that's right." and "Not in my house!" Merry and I settle into a nice pace. We chit chat here and there, pass more people. We get up to around 12 or so when --
CLANK, CLANK. I hear it again. I took behind me and NO WAY. Here she comes again. We speed up. We're going pretty fast now, like Mall Walker speed. We're heading downhill for a patch and there's come confusion as people pass us going the other way as we pass people going our way to add to our total. It's here she strikes.
Freaking Dress PASSES US. As she does I have a full view of her exposed back and can't help but notice she's not even wearing a bra. This is unacceptable to me. I'm NOT going to be out hike-walked by some skinny ho who can't be bothered to wear any appropriate hiking attire.
Merry and I pick up our pace but we can't seem to catch her. We blame the fact that she's so damn skinny, her lack of body fat is making her aerodynamic. For sure, that's DEFINITELY what it is. And a clear violation of our made up rules. We take comfort that if put in a cage match, we'd kick her ass fo' sho.
As she gets farther away we grumble less and eventually let it go. But the cut is fresh and we sure as hell won't let anyone else pass us. We're booking now. We reach 22 in record time. Still with some hike left we haul ass and at times are full on speed walking, sweating like crazy and out of breath - so much for a nice casual hike.
We get to the end of the dirt trail and pass our last person bringing the count up to 30. We decide to just head back to the car instead of doing another part of the hike, partly because we're tired from doing 3 mile hike in what felt like 20 mins.
The rest of the hike is all downhill through a residential neighborhood. We pass 7 more people when we spot her. Freaking Dress. There she is, in our sights. We just broke our record but this would be the icing on the cake.
We try for it. We get about 50 yards but she disappears again around a corner. So instead we fantasize about throwing a rock at her which hits her in the head, thus causing her to face plant onto the concrete street. As we pass we make a mocking frowny face and say "Ough" as in "Aw that must hurt.." We don't offer help and we add her to our pass tally.
It's here I'd like to state we are not mean people in general. We are quite delightful. What can I say, competition fuels us. In a way, Dress was a great motivator for us that day. But we'd never admit that. I mean, after all, she is now our sworn enemy... arch nemesis, even.
So when Merry told me about people she knew starting up another hiking group I was down to get my hike on once again. The one slight hiccup is that sometimes these "others" will party late and be hung over so come Sunday the 9am hike becomes more like 10:30am or 11am. There's also a geography issue since most of them don't live with Merry and I in the valley. "Let me get this straight, I have DRIVE to Santa Monica? Ugh, it's so far..."
Whining aside, sometimes Merry and I employ the KISS system (Keep It Simple Stupid) and just do a hike that is about 3 miles away from our apartment. This is exactly what we did last Sunday.
So we roll up, I got my camelback, she's got her bottle of water. We set off to concur Fryman. Last time the two of us were there we decided to make it interesting and count the number of people we lapped while hiking - totally unbeknownst to them. Negative points if you yourself get lapped. The beginning of the hike is mostly uphill so it's a tough start. Regardless, last trip we SMOKED 22 suckers!
This time we were determined to beat the record. So we set off at a brisk pace. Mostly everyone is heading downhill so they are passing us on the opposite side - doesn't effect our score but annoying when they are running down a hill and you are walking up a hill, breathing heavy.
Finally we spot our first couple of people to pass. We speed up a bit in the anticipation. And there's an easy first 2 on the board. We pass another couple. 4: booyah! Then there's a fat dude who was faster than anticipated, he's probably trying to get back in shape so good for him but we're still going to kick his ass. And we're at 5.
But it's then, behind us, I hear some clanking, like a water bottle on a keyring. I glance behind. There's some skinny chick, around 30, in a DRESS of all things, coming up the rear. Immediately I turn to Merry and say, "We are not going to be passed by some chick in a dress." She concurs. We take it up a notch to keep our lead. But she's keeping up, even getting closer. WTF?!
Then she stops to fix her hair. We keep going. Talking some smack along the lines of, "Yeah that's right." and "Not in my house!" Merry and I settle into a nice pace. We chit chat here and there, pass more people. We get up to around 12 or so when --
CLANK, CLANK. I hear it again. I took behind me and NO WAY. Here she comes again. We speed up. We're going pretty fast now, like Mall Walker speed. We're heading downhill for a patch and there's come confusion as people pass us going the other way as we pass people going our way to add to our total. It's here she strikes.
Freaking Dress PASSES US. As she does I have a full view of her exposed back and can't help but notice she's not even wearing a bra. This is unacceptable to me. I'm NOT going to be out hike-walked by some skinny ho who can't be bothered to wear any appropriate hiking attire.
Merry and I pick up our pace but we can't seem to catch her. We blame the fact that she's so damn skinny, her lack of body fat is making her aerodynamic. For sure, that's DEFINITELY what it is. And a clear violation of our made up rules. We take comfort that if put in a cage match, we'd kick her ass fo' sho.
As she gets farther away we grumble less and eventually let it go. But the cut is fresh and we sure as hell won't let anyone else pass us. We're booking now. We reach 22 in record time. Still with some hike left we haul ass and at times are full on speed walking, sweating like crazy and out of breath - so much for a nice casual hike.
We get to the end of the dirt trail and pass our last person bringing the count up to 30. We decide to just head back to the car instead of doing another part of the hike, partly because we're tired from doing 3 mile hike in what felt like 20 mins.
The rest of the hike is all downhill through a residential neighborhood. We pass 7 more people when we spot her. Freaking Dress. There she is, in our sights. We just broke our record but this would be the icing on the cake.
We try for it. We get about 50 yards but she disappears again around a corner. So instead we fantasize about throwing a rock at her which hits her in the head, thus causing her to face plant onto the concrete street. As we pass we make a mocking frowny face and say "Ough" as in "Aw that must hurt.." We don't offer help and we add her to our pass tally.
It's here I'd like to state we are not mean people in general. We are quite delightful. What can I say, competition fuels us. In a way, Dress was a great motivator for us that day. But we'd never admit that. I mean, after all, she is now our sworn enemy... arch nemesis, even.
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