Compliments of my cousin Pat, I'd like to turn this post over to the news:


Monkey waste from zoo spills onto highway

MILWAUKEE - Some monkey business tied up traffic Tuesday for about three hours when a truck carrying waste from the zoo spilled its contents.

The spill of monkey waste and food, water and algae from a moat at the Milwaukee County Zoo occurred about 10:45 a.m., closing eastbound I-94 and southbound U.S. 45/I-894 until about 2:30 p.m., officials said.

Kim Brooks, a spokeswoman for the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department, said a latch securing the tank that held the waste broke on the truck.

"It's one of those things," she said. "You certainly don't want to be in the deputy's place" investigating the matter.

Jennifer Diliberti, public relations coordinator for the zoo, said the waste had been removed from the moat at the zoo's Macaque Island, a process done twice each year. It has a consistency of sludge and is dark brown to black in color, she said.

"I think it's comparable to any sort of sewage," she said. "One of the zookeepers said from a scale of one to 10, the smell's a nine."

The material had been "aged" at the zoo for 48 hours before being loaded into a Milwaukee County Parks Department truck for removal, she said.

That destroys any virus that might be in the material, she said.

"It doesn't pose any health problems," Diliberti said.

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I realized while reading that the writer really needs to find a new word for "said." I mean, come on, I know it's a story about poo so you probably got all excited to write it but that doesn't mean you can slack off.