Thursday, September 29, 2005

Second Grade Journal entry:

There is no title but the whole page is taken up with a glorious story

Some fishermen were keching fish in there bouts. One fishermen cuat a big fish. The fish was about three feet long. When he got home. Insted of his family eating the fish. The fishermen's dog grabed the fish out of the fishermen's hand and eta the fish for dinner. The next day the fishermen couldn't find his fishing pole. His little boy Anthony had the fishing pole. His twin girls toled there dad that Anthony had the fishing pole. And him and his dog and twin girls lived happily ever after.

First of all half the sentences should be commas. Second, the story lacks an actual story. Clearly there is a "fishermen" because I write that about 40 times, but who is he, what is his motivation to fish, especially if his dog steals their food. Does he like the dog? Why does he keep him about. Who is Anthony deep down? Why did he steal the pole?
Perhaps my biggest question, where did these twin girls come from?

No comments: