Let's take a moment to discuss stalkers. Yes, thanks to things like the interwebz (aka information superhighway), and Facebook you can find just about anybody. But remember the good ol' days before that? When you had to be crazy enough to hop on a plane, fly to LA, get a star map, go on a tour to scope out the house, then return later under cover of darkness. Or so I assume. It's quiet an investment.

Now - boop, bop, beep - enter key - and behold! semi nude, blurry photo of what's her face.

But regardless if you are an oldschool or newschool stalker, does it really work out? For example, the guy who went for Jodie Foster years ago. I mean, dude, she's still gay, at best you are a friend. I doubt celebs are impressed with the ability to jump the fence to their house and your juking skillz as their security tackles you to the ground. Oh, hello Court Order, so nice to see you again.

Has any celeb ever said, "Wow, you are too legit to quit. You really do care. Let's go enjoy the endless salad bar at Olive Garden." Even Courtney Love isn't that crazy, nor classy enough for the likes of the fine italian cuisine of said chain restaurants.

By the way I want to throw it out there I think I'd make a great non threatening stalker. I think I'd try to just move in and be the new neighbor. Though I'm sure I couldn't afford a house in the B. Hills, so maybe I'd just sneak onto their neighbor's yard with a hose and be outside in my PJs, you know, watering. They come out to get the paper and I'm all too cool for school:

ME: "Hi there. I'm not at all flustered by your presence what so ever."
CELEB: Good morning charming young lass. Say would you like to join me at (insert name dropping event)?
ME: "What's that you're having a BBQ and I'm invited? I have to see that I'm free."

It's only a matter of time, Pat Sajak.