Currently I'm working on a Television Studio lot in Studio City known as "CBS Radford." This is amazing for several reasons.

1. I am working again.
2. It's 2 miles from my apartment so I bike to work.
3. It's also where they shoot "Hot in Cleveland" starring Betty White.

That's right people. Now, I don't watch the show because I tried once and it sucked except for when Betty White was on, but even then she didn't have much to work with. However, they shoot the show every Friday night according to the security guys. It is my plan in the next few weeks to befriend Betty.

How will I do this, you ask? It's simple. First I will find where they shoot: CHECK. Then I'll find her dressing room: DONE AND DONE. Then I'll have one of my friends "mug" Betty and I'll show up and save her:

Me: "Hey You! Quit man handling Betty White!"
Insert awkward karate chop, the "mugger" falls to the floor.

Betty: "OMG. thank you so much!"
Me: "For being a friend?"
Betty: "Traveling down the road AND back again."
Me: "My heart is true. I'm a pal and a confidant."

Then we high five jump into a freeze frame.
End Credits

I don't see how this plan could go wrong.