Word up.
I've recently decided I'mmo put together to "book" of things I've written. This will include many of these posts. I've been going through old posts and have realized that I'm hilarious. And I mean that in the most egotistical way imaginable. I can tell why people come crawling back day after day because they just aren't capable of the comedy that seems to just ooze from my GORGEOUS self. In case you didn't pick up from that last sentence, I'm also aREAL good looking. So good looking that others try to steal my face. It's true! When they do I take out my bible and tell them that it tis a sin to be full of envy and to steal. So I'm also kinda like a saint, preaching the good word n such.
Saint Lady Fantastic. I'd like to see the following things in my stain glass mural:
1. a kitty
2. french toast
3. a hummer
4. tony danza
5. a mullet on either myself or tony danza
Send your art work to the Church of Awesome care of:
Lady Fantastic/Colleen Evanson
Ithaca College - Tallcott 101
Ithaca, NY 14850
8 comments:
Now we can leave you comments? I'm SO going to take advantage of that. I'll do so by correcting your spelling and grammar, and by generally being the dork that I am. Let's begin.
Word up. {To what point, exactly, is the word ascending? And what is the word?}
I've recently decided I'mmo {This is an unfamiliar contraction. Does it stand for "I ammo," as in loading a weapon?} put together to {Likely you meant "a" here.} "book" of things I've written. This will include many of these posts. I've been going through old posts and have realized that I'm hilarious. And I mean that in the most egotistical way imaginable. I can tell why people come crawling back day after day{:} because they just aren't capable of the comedy that seems to just ooze from my GORGEOUS {Using capital letters for emphasis may be becoming a staple of Internet communication, but it's still considered a faux pas in most books. Watch for it while assembling your own book.} self. In case you didn't pick up from that last sentence, I'm also aREAL {Lose the beginning "a."} good looking. So good looking that others try to steal my face. It's true! {Adding an exclamatory statement to immediately back up your own argument smacks of insincerity and lack of a true conceit. Humorously enough, the statement emphasizes your conceitedness. Guffaw.} When they do I take out my bible {When speaking of the Christian Bible, it's the generally accepted practice to capitalize the word.} and tell them that it tis {Either you misspelled "is" or you decided to use the antiquated contraction for "it is," "'tis." If your intent was the latter, you may lose the preceding "it" -- and don't forget that "'tis" needs its apostrophe!} a sin to be full of envy and to steal. So I'm also kinda {kind of} like a saint, preaching the good word n {and} such.
Saint Lady Fantastic. I'd like to see the following things in my stain{ed} glass mural:
1. a kitty
2. french toast
3. a hummer (While I'm shocked at your implied approval of such an ecologically unsound vehicle, I must remind you that as a proper noun, "Hummer" should be capitalized.}
4. tony danza {Although it's debatable as to whether "Tony Danza" is a proper noun, it is still appropriate to capitalize his name.}
5. a mullet on either myself or tony danza {See note under number 4, above.}
Send your art work to the Church of Awesome{,} care of:
Lady Fantastic/Colleen Evanson
Ithaca College - Tallcott 101
Ithaca, NY 14850
This is Merry:
Ok, so I have to say, Cousin Pat, I literally laughed out loud in a room full of people while reading your editorial comments. Very clever.
Colleen, scoop him up - hire him as your editor and I will be the manager... for this book of course. Together, we will make MILLIONS.
...and take over the world.
Think about it.
Dear Colleen,
I am amazed by this post, and by the corrections Pat posted (Btw, I don't know who you are, Mr. Pat, but you are funny. So I like you).
I totally hope you continue to bring joy to my life, Saint Lady Fantastic. I love you, miss you, and sooo wish we could hang out before Thanksgiving. Should u have any openings in your schedule, let me know. Let's see if we can make some magic.
Yes. I am begging for you attention. Haha.
Oh. I hope you haven't found yourself another Asian to replace me. That would be real annoying, and I'd have to take away your right to own my third child.
I am dead serious like whoa!
http://www.marmalade.ca/images/boing.gif
Here's a kitty you can put in your stained glass window.
- Courtesy of your other cousin, Brian, the Destroyer of Worlds and Purveyor of Shiny Things
Pat you are hysterical.
I agree with Merry about you being hired as the editor. Now in thanks for that recommendation and compliment I will accept the favor of you writing ALL my papers for school hence forth. Of course I will keep myself anonymous for the sheer backlash of fan mail after posting to a public website, but trust me, compliments from someone of my status is worth your labor.
3, 3 paged papers with the topics of "mayan civilizations" "Platos republic" and "Just how much Liz rules" can be mailed to
Anonymously Liz Riv
2A318 Monroe Hall
Geneseo NY 14454
You have one week. Please make then comical and informative.
You're welcome,
-anonymous
I'm glad to see that my skills are in demand.
Merry, I like the way you think. Editorial control of Col's book will make us as rich as that guy who invented sliced bread. Everyone's always talking about that stuff. And how great it is.
As for Anonymously Liz Riv, I didn't take a week to write your essays, as that would be time consuming and would no doubt earn me a Pulitzer Prize -- and I've got enough of those already. So, instead, I spent an hour yesterday while I was bored and churned out all three.
I'm too cheap for a stamp and an envelope, so enjoy: http://www.semicaged.com/written/
whHA! ::literally giggling with delight that these papers were actually written so loud that I woke up my roommate who asked if I was crying::
Now Pat, while I enjoyed every 3-4 paged essay written my professors and doctors here at the University had some trouble grasping them. Words like "fanfic" "flummoxed" and "curmudgeon" they found offensive and not understandable without the use of dictionary.com. While I still have yet to look up curmudgeon I'm sure its fine and good on the long island of Long Island it is not however appreciated to out wit the professors of whom assigned this paper. (That’s kind of an understatement. Professor Clifford Hoyt was actually pretty pissed he was referenced and slandered…if that’s a word). As for my grade I have received all "see me's!!" and in my vast experience of receiving and never showing up to those "see me's" I can only assume that they wish to offer praise in person for my breathtaking writing skills and for this reason and my humble humble nature I ignore the request and take the A+++ as I was intended. So thank you and rejoice in your accomplishments, it may have question marks all over it, it may have my name on it, and you may have only contributed a minute amount we both have done well and shall receive letters and praise for centuries to come.
Hi Col!
Absolutely anonymously yours,
Elizabeth Mary Rivalsi aka liz aka faceoff liz aka proud care taker of Professor Snuggleton
p.s. I’d like to reiterate: jason fitzpatrick and his smug little angelic face are going DOWN
Post a Comment