Now that I'm driving 50 miles a day I realize how much I hate LA drivers. This is nothing new but it's just more apparent to me now. Basically no one should be driving except me and a select group of friends and co-workers. I basically need to run for office to be Queen of the Universe. I'd be an awesome dictator.

Mandatory watching of GOOD tv, see you later dumb reality shows (aka The Hills). Forced midday work naps. Execute Paris Hilton, this character named Snookie, Ryan Seacrest, and Glenn Beck. Re-instate Conan O'Brien. Free chipwich Fridays (ice cream sandwiched between two cookies of your choosing). Disband the Democrates and Republicans and form a new gov't called Awesometown, where we aim to keep it real. Demand flying energy efficient cars, DeLorean or no. Outlaw autotuning of songs. Discontinue air sealed plastic wrapping of products. And have a redo of the Seinfeld finale. I mean, jail? Really? Also while we're on the subject, Lost would need to prove they aren't going to piss me off when they wrap up and I won't allow the season to end until there is a satisfying ending. So get your ish together!

And that's just for my first month! Image what I can do for a few years or at least til I'm bored and don't want to do it anymore. My contract will have a golden parachute clause. I'm kinda fickle; please see above.