Sunday, July 24, 2011


"So what do you do?"
ME: "I work for the state of California."
"Like in government?"
ME: "Uh. yeah."

Unemployment - or shall I say FUNemployment has treated me well. Many a time I have posted pictures of me out in the middle of the day doing things that annoy my friends. I've been a very busy bee despite avoiding punching in and out everyday. You don't make much on unemployment but that means you just don't spend as much.

How do you do this in a capitalist consumer culture? Here are a few tips that have served me well.

1. Save those gift cards. If you know you won't be working at some point, hold off on using gift cards when you are making money. Plan ahead, yo.
Example: At Christmas I got an H&M gift card. It's now July and I still haven't used it. Not because I don't love H&M (cause I do), but because I'm assessing what summer time clothes I'll be needing (more shorts!). And let's be honest, when you don't have to get dressed to go to work, sometimes, you straight up DON'T get dressed.



2. Visit Family. My aunt never fails to cook way too much food and I am more than happen to take home a care package that she is more than willing to give me. Lucky for me I have some family in destination locations (Baja Mexico, San Fran) so I took the time to actually buy those cheaper plane tickets for the mid week and stay fo' free. Can you say, "mooch?" I can.



3. Go to any type of party; birthday, anniversary, engagment, bat mitzvah...
Save that meal, eat someone else's spread. Living in LA means there are usally healthy options at parties and a bunch of skinny bitches who won't eat at all meaning... more leftovers. So eat, drink, and be merry - for at the end of the party the host will probs ask if you'll take something home. Don't get trigger happy. Play it cool. "Sure, if no one else wants it. I mean, I don't want it to go to waste..."



4. Go on dates. Hopefully ones with better plot lines than the above movie (sorry, Tina!) This works more for da ladies. I've been dating and no, I have not paid though I do offer, but let's be honest, the men pay. Sometimes you get a movie AND a meal. What?! Bonus if you actually enjoy the company... (How jaded/bitter did that make me seem?)


5. Lunches with working friends. You know that friend who can expense everything? Yeah, that's the one you want to meet up with. Bring your money, expecting to pay and then act surprised when they say they got it, or rather, the company's got it. Gracefully accept.
Also - working on a TV show there is no shortage of food everywhere. So I MAY have strategically went back up to the old offices to get some more almonds, cereal bars, apples/bananas, and trail mixes once I was out of the stuff I took when they closed our offices. "Hey old co-workers? Oh, it's lunch time? Sure I guess I'll join..."



6. Pay it forward. I went out to eat with a bunch of friends who then happily paid for my meal. When I tried to wave them off they said I bought them dinner when they weren't working so they are paying me back. Yeah good deeds! So once I get back on the working wagon, I'm paying, but it always comes back.

And that's how I roll.

1 comment:

Patrick said...

Who did you mooch off of in SF?

...

Oh.