I'm not sure if I told you this already, but I want to jump into a time machine with 20 bucks in my pocket so that way I could be like Rickie McRichington. I'd buy all this stuff and then when I travel back, they would be antiques so I'd be up like 1 milliontrazillion dollars. But then I bet people would be like, Hey Colleen, where did you get all that money and I would panic and say I won the lottery and they'd, oh can I see the ticket, and I'll be like no I through it out and they'll be all, Why did you do that? and I'll say what the hell get away from me you freaking gold digger!

Then I'll buy myself some ice ceem. Not ice cReam, ice ceem. Its so much better when you say it like a little kid. Little kids should rule the world.

[belch]

Ok everyone do yourself a favor and head over to www.homestarrunner.com. It's a hilarious website. There even have an icon for First time users, it's in the right top corner after the opening credits. Check out Strong Bad Emails. One you need to read is called sugarbob..you need to scroll down to do so...but it says Hizzy! So worth the scroll.

Today I...

Today I woke up and was all chilly n such. Betoss it was cold out side n all. So I got out and shutted da winda n whatnot. Climbs myself back into dee bed, and went back to sleepy. And guess qwhat? Qwhat? Now my feets be all chillies again. What the deal? Me no know. Peace out.

Sorry for the delay. As many of you know, I went home this weekend. Enjoyable and worth the chaos of traveling. And I got the Phrase O the Week.

This weeks Phrase, or technically last weeks, comes from The Hippy on the bus to the city. You see this man, let's call him Tod, had this sholder length gray hair with a matching beard, jeans, colorful t-shirt, and most important a straw hat. But this was so ordinary straw hat, in fact it wasnt even made of straw it was made of paper bags. And lucky us got to see him in the process since the bus BROKE down for a bit. Now among him telling jokes that werent really funny, telling people to pass on his message to run the air to the driver, putting away his bottle of vodka, and asking is anyone had a problem listening to the radio - he prefered classic...he told us bout his hats! How he made them by hand. To which I said, "that must help waste time."

And he responded:

Yeah I learned it in JAIL, gotta waste a lot of time there.

At the point Tony and I looked at each other in horror and telepathically sent the phrase Oh My God to each other. However, crazy paper bag wearing hippy, aka Tod, got off at the next stop. I couldnt tell if I was relieved or sad to see him go. I think it was mostly relief...or maybe that was gas.


I just thought of a new segment: Daily Shout Outs

Today: Shout out to my dog Parker.
Why: because he rules.

Phrase of the Day! This week its Kiehl...hurray for him. Hurray for kitties! Anyhoo..
Why its funny: cuz he did it in a little kid voice.
What he said: My toe hurts. You make my toe hurt. Go Away. I would like it if you died.

Its actually 4 phrases but who's counting?

Unsolved Mysteries: I got an email from my dad, however I have a feeling it might have been written by someone else. It's not just a hunch, its the fact that it was signed "The Muffin Master." Perhaps The Muffin Man took over my dad's body and claimed that he was the master of muffins for some reason. That Muffin Man, always getting into trouble. Silly goose...

My first year seminar teacher is from Boston and when he says "wicked" it makes me giggle.

A recent email from my past guidance counsler, Ms.Hance, reads:

Funny story, a parent saw the note that you wrote that I smelled like poo, she felt bad for me and didn't understand why you would write that, I tried to explain but it did not
work!!

Seriously, I laughed histerically to myself over that for a good minute. The note actually read that, "Ms.Hance smells like da poo, THUS she has no friends." But I mean cmon, did they want me to lie?! I think not.

I make a mix cd and it took me a combined 5 hours to put it all together. One because I am a perfectionist and Two I wanted it to be awesome and Three because I never used dem burners befo'
Technology is FUN!

The end result was entitled, As if it is my Job....The Mix

I ment to update last night but the site was being a BIG Meanie so I couldnt. Yesterday night the first episode of the improv show Quabble was taped. As I walked down to the Park School-where they tape it. I was really nervous for awhile, until I stepped onto the set. The only girl amongst the 3 seniors. I walked away feeling like I could fly, you gotta love a live audience. Now I feel more at ease, and I feel like I proved myself to only to them, but to me.

Then tonight I was coming back from Frequency, the MTV like show, and I walked passed the really cool fountains on the way back. They look so cool at night all lit up as they change colors. But as I walked by I noticed they werent the only things that were lit up. (Sniff Sniff) Thanks to Liz pointing out the pot smell at a concert, I knew what it was. How cute of them to be hanging by the fountain near the bushes! Gotta love the pot heads.

Also: I'm A coming home this very weekend. Yeah LI.

Peace SUCKA!

As I sat in my desk reading a book for class I came upon a sentence I would like to share:

Our German friend insists that we include some spaetzle and a load of pumpernickel bread, which gets its name from the verb pumpern, "to break wind," and Nickel, "the devil," because it was thought to be so hard to digest that even the devil would fart if he ate it.

This brings me to an interesting point, if the devil farted would it instantly be set ablaze? Perhaps only in hell it would turn to flames because of the intense heat, or maybe it would flame where ever he went because he's the devil n all. He would have to be proud of farting then, because there is no way he could deny it. Must be hard to be the devil.

So colleen what did you do all day?

Well, I read. Sometimes I would just pretend to be reading to get through the pages. Who writes books anyway?

Oh and I SO watched the Trading Spaces episode that they taped in my neighborhood and I got to meet Frank and Paige. Yeah Trading Spaces! If you dont know the show, but on TLC its on all the time and you will soon become a slave to interior design...with a twist.

Nothing more to say, so I just may, get some clay, and spray...it
It being the pit, or spit, that came with a kit, for sit-ting down
Down with the brown, of the clown, who lives in town, by the pound, and ate some ground...beef
Beef is chief in this reef...of coral
Coral is like the Moral of the story

Yeah that was some freestyle right there.

You see that brick holding my door open? Yeah, thats from a golf course!

Guess what?
I had fruity pebbles for breakfast. I bought myself a box last night. Do you remember those things? I do. And they RULE!
However they are less nutritional than Cherrios...go figure.

I really dont wanna talk about how I sold my soul to the devil, but it's really the most interesting thing I can think to tell you. Yeah, thats right, I am a slave to the dining hall. I was given the job of taking plates -which were as hot as hell...and we all know who lives there-and putting then at the different areas that needed them. Right away ppl were like oh that sucks, thats the worst job and I thought well it's not so bad, I get to walk around. Plus I get some exercise in my arms from holding the heavy hot ass plates.

Later on...

The person who is running the plates with me takes forever and keeps taking the light stuff-smaller plastic bowls. I was easily doing double the work she was and hid my hatred for her in a tight smile anytime we made eye contact. I just really hate when people slack off. This job also reminded me how much I hate people. The dining hall gets so freakin busy, I'm carrying these crazy hot plates, my arms hurt, I'm getting sweaty, and people don't know how to get out of the way...I envisioned myself tossing them out of the way or tossing a plate at their heads. See what work does?!!

Then I left. I thought it was 9:40 and was like...I'm outta here. Got to my room. Mr.Clock reads: 8:41. I'm all: CRAP! Get back down for another 15 mins. Those minutes were actually quite pleasant.

Later in the night:
I had late night dinner and enjoyed a shake. Because I EARNED it. Damn striaght.

Special thanks to:
My parents for the package
and Miss Maris for the sugar cookies AND zoo plates.

Mom, you got some stiff competition. Everywhere you go, Miss Marie is two steps ahead.

As Americans I know people want to forget the act that happened a year ago, but as human beings we must remember.

Recent News: My computer is void of Kazaa right now. It kinda messed up my computer at home so I'm alittle hesitant to download it. I wish there was some sort of super music man who could fly into my dorm room and take out his wand. A simple Tap would do the trick and my computer would be filled was a vast array of mad phat beats. Unfortunately Super Music Man is on vacation or something. Freakin' bum.

Last night my buddy Ben and I had some fun thinking of brand spankin' new ways to say poopin. None of you should be surprise by this. Let's cut to the chase, here they are:

Planting a tree
Feeding the fish
DING! My muffins are ready
Putting icing on the cake - that one I found hilarious and brought myself to tears especially when Ben said That makes No sense.
Squeezing out some brown - not as inventive, i admit
Time to take out the garbage
Crankin out some chocolate

this one I didnt invent, Kiehl shared it with me, so I'm passing it on.

Gotta drop the kids off at the pool

Thats all for now.

feilds is actually spelled fields, but of course...I dont know that.

*Refer to the last post to know what the F I'm talking about*

Under my Farja's request I must update the site. So SORRY that I havent updated, how crazy of me to like be out and about (said very sarcastically with extra jazzy hand motions to emphasize)

Hmm whats new?
Oh I got something!

As many of you probably read, I am a Field Producer for a show. Now I know you must be asking yourself:

What does a feild producer do?
Good Question. I pondered that same eternal question and thankfully sudhanshu was there to answer. Obviously we take shots of open feilds like wheat or corn. And then occassionally we have some people run through in slow motion to romantic music. However, in this case, the woman isnt running after the man as he thinks. Instead, she is running after her hat that blew off in the wind. That pesky wind. Always picking on those poor helpless hats. When is someone gonna kick the winds ass?

Someday...

Recent email made me want to post some of its contents. You have probably seen something like it before, but still...

Rejected Kid's Book Titles:

Robert: Dad's New Wife.
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share.
That's It, I'm Putting You up for Adoption.
Grandpa Gets a Casket.
Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear.
You Were an Accident.
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry.
Your Nightmares Are Real.
Kathy was So Bad that her Mom Stopped Loving Her.

If only they REALLY existed. I think I'd read the last one to my kid.

Sometin bout College: They (my building friends) always ask where I get my catch phrases from. I recently taught them "like its my job" although they didnt want to say "like" because they thought it was being used in a way that shows low intelligence, so i revised it for them. I (insert verb) as if it is my job. That soon evolved to include shat. Soon after, and they rejoiced was added. Allow me to present the lastest catch phrase of the week:

He shat himself as if it was his job, and they rejoiced.

Oh AND I have the Phrase O the Week! Its back. It deals with poop. A wonderful and totally colleen way of introducing a new season of POW.
setting: Inside dorm room as we discuss different ways and saying of poop. Droppin a duece was mentioned, to name one. Then Sara spoke
What'd she say?

She said: My uncle likes to say Pinching One Off

Laughter came shortly there after.

I realise if people actually think too much about poop they become biased against it. Just put your immature kid helmet on and re-read the post. Its so much more enjoyable. Yaye Poop!

Miss Marie is famous now. I got three, count em, THREE card from her. Ms.Marie is a hardcore card sender. Watch out.

So last night I'm about to fall asleep and before I do I had the idea of me being part of 4 ICTV shows in my head because it's crazy to me. And all of a sudden my brain has a little convo with itself.

Right side: What did I write on those applications?
Left side: I vaguely remember something about cookies...

I loves ma cookies. Although I am more a fan of sugar cookies than the traditional chocolate chip ones. Oreos are good, I've always liked them. I remember this picture of myself when I was maybe a year old and I'm in my walker thing and I have oreo ALL over my face.
Nothing has changed.

The booted avenger:

Last night a new creature was made. After an innocent little girl stepped in some radioactive mud on the side of the road, her foot swelled and transformed her. She was no longer a college student. She now had a job. To kick the CRAP out of crime. One step at a time.

Oh snap it rhymes.
Dr.Suess in da house!

Score! Last time the most annoying thing happened. I tried to post and it didnt let me, so I tried again and thought I was so smart when I copied it. I figured, hey, if it doesnt post again then I can surely copy and paste it from word. Only thing is...I get to word and I can't paste it. ((SHAKES FIST LIKE ITS MY JOB))

So my last post delt with me being a moron. It was mistaken identity. I thought this kid was someone that he wasnt, so I made a face at him when we made eye contact. Turns out it wasnt him. Cuz I stopped the kid I thought he was (Jesse) at a table behind me. Best thing was when I made the face, I was alone at the table cuz Sudhanshu went to get some ketchup. I wanted to go over to the kid and be all....YEAH! I'm crazy.

Even more awkward: I saw the kid again in my building lobby. He was playing monopoly. And guess what? They were all cursing at each other. What a wonderful way to destroy friendships. Got someone you dont EVER want to talk to agian, would you like a divorce? Play Monopoly. Works every time.

Flashback!!!
recent inside jokes with Liz:

1) Anyone who is your friend, punch them in the face
2) Hartwick college...pffff more like FARTwick

Current Events:

Last night I did some good ol' square dancing in the Ithaca Commons. It fun for the most part. Things that took away from the fun include bearded, shoeless, tie-dye wearing yippies spinning me like it was nobodys business. Then later on I broke it down. Doing the lawn mower, shopping cart, pencil shapener, the sprinkler, the ghetto arm fling that Dave could NEVER do right. So yeah I danced to the mad phat country tunes. And it was def country cuz I did it was a red truckers hat that just barely laid on my head. Kinda like the way my dad will wear it....but worse.

No offense to Dad. But I'm sure Mom would agree.

Please work....