Last night I watched one of the weirdest things I've ever seen on TV. Second to that man who had a tree branch up his ass is MTV's True Life series. This one was called, I have a phobia. It showcased 4 people; one afraid of cats, talking to girls, flying, and of course...midgets.

What?

You want to know her rational behind it. She said, "they could be anywhere and jump out and attach themselves to my leg or something."
I can't even tell you how many times midgets have just jumped from the bushes and grabbed my leg and held on for MILES.

Throughout the show I kept thinking..."Wow, I'm so lucky I'm not you."

I would just like to have it known that I just listened to Can't Touch This by MC Hammer in my room. There was many a head bobble.

I havent updated because I dont feel like I have anything interesting to report on. Things keep moving, my weeks are so packed that suddenly I'm like.."Holy crap! It's Wed, the week is half over."

I was leaving to go to class and one of my residents came out of her room with pig tales and a pink spandex jumper. It was like she was taken straight out of an 80s exercise video. I stopped short and actually said, "What the...?"

She told me it was exaggeration day in her class. She seemed embarrassed, and rightfully so...But I told her it was awesome.

My residents are really cool.

I hath recently discovered how odd my little toe is. Its trying to burrow under my other toe. I am a freak of nature....woe is me. It's like this little fetus.

I recently was struck down by an evil evil cold virus. I felt like crap for the past two days, I'm a bit better now, but that idea of writing when i couldnt even breath kinda stopped me. Sleep took the "update blog" time.

I found it rather amusing since my nose was so clogged its harder to breath and I didnt want to breath threw my mouth bc then my throat would get sore and dry...which it already was, so I attempted to just breath threw the one side of my nose that wasn't clogged and I would get so fatigued. I felt like a fat kid trying to get up a flight of stairs...only it wasn't a flight but rather 4/5 stairs. How sad is that?

Ok I must away...with lots of tissues. Yay goobers!

I went to 80s night at the Haunt last night. Oh wow. Ain't nothing like shaking it to Billy Jean.

Also...If i were in charge, I'd call blueberries purpleberries, because after all....they ARE purple. A dark purple, but purple none the less.

Updates are few and far between. Of this I am aware. Fix this I must, but time to do it I have not.

Ok enough Yoda talk. Yesterday had the first taping for Backstage....my college TV show I'm producing this year. OMG it was INSANE. We get into the studio at 8:45pm, we have the studio until 11pm. We were going to tape it at 10pm. But no...the still store (which is like the litte box thing next to the reporters in the news) was taking FOREVER cuz there were so many. So after about 32 of them, I said screw it, we dont have time. We didnt get to do a complete run through of the show. It was 10:25, we pushed back taping til 10:30pm. I wasnt sure if we'd have enough time to get out of the studio by 11, if we didnt I would be in trouble. The show is a half hour long. We just went for it.

And it was amazing. There was such a high probability of disaster and it went swimmingly. My talent rocks the house, writing was great. Still stores worked.

I was so stressed and so in shock that we pulled it off that I almost went into shock. I couldnt believe I pulled it off. Oh boy. Producin' be crazy. Then after been exhausted...I couldnt go to bed. I kept thinking about the show, what to improve. My brain wouldnt shut down. Really annoying.

But I am very happy. Anyone from Ithaca College reads this, we are airing the show tonight, 6:30pm on Channel 16. watch it, it's good stuff.

over and out

YIKES!!! Never had I ever imagined such a situation would occur in my life. As some may know I have an away message which makes reference to my lactose intolerance and the way it transformed me into a superhero. Because of what happened I dont want to name myself because this guy might find it somewhere.

Confused?

Ok here it is. I'm minding my own business at 130am and I get this IM from Tigerbiker922. He is doing this role playing thing where he is a superhero known as Wonderboy. He tells me his story. We are joking around like friends. I figure it's someone from school got my SN and is messing with me. OH no, its a 39 year old man who gave me a description of himself and then proceeded to ask me my age...this is a little portion of it:

Lactaid Lady: 19
Tigerbiker922: college student?
Lactaid Lady: yep
Tigerbiker922: wanna trade pics just for fun?

Now up til that point I thought, ok he's 39 maybe he's cool, maybe he's still living in my parents houseing surfing the next night and day to seek human contact through computers. Maybe he's not a HUGE nerd.

Nope. He was, and he was also creepy. Yaye for me. I'm SO glad I got hit by the world's finest.

For the second installment of the Theatre Teacher Cronicals...

He dressed up as a pimp in a leapard print robe with shimmering red around the cuffs and along the bottom. As if that weren't enough, a wig also got involved along with a witch hat.

Quotes:

"Cursed, spoiled again!"
"'F' this, 'F' that."

Note: some of these are out of context. And he didnt drop the F-bomb, just used the letter.

I finally got my media book today that cost a pretty penny. So now I must put it to use.
If you are looking for an interesting thing to do, I suggest looking up Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts. Here are some I heard recently:

Consider the dandelion, while you do that I'll be over here going through ALL your stuff.

The earliest fly swatter was probably a flat surface with a long stick attached to it.


That's all I remember. Do the rest on your own.

Today in Intro to Theatre....my STUNNING hour 15 min lecture class with 300 ppl...I decided to make use of my time by writing a few comments down about my teacher. To Preface...He is young and new at this. He often makes jokes that arent funny which after the moment of silence he follows with a nervous, "So anyway," or "Eh Whatever."
I did my evaluation is elementary school teacher style.

Comments: Jim often strays away from the topic with stories of himself. Must learn to stay on task. He has an hour and 15 mins and we only get to HW question 2 out of 5.
Bravo.

In addition there are some fun quotes:

"I can touch you. I can sit on someone's lap. I can do anything"
"I can't fart on cue"
"Danish castles are dangerous places."

Thank you and good night!

I have a relatively new pair of pants and the fly is constantly a little down. It's really annoying. I have to keep zipping it back while its halfway down because if I ignore it for too long it will go all the way down. However, the material covering the fly works as such that it is hard to see that its down. So to some, it will look like I am constantly touching my crotch. And to that I say, Excellent.

what up G's? Aint nothing new going on 'round hea. Sorry for lack of updates, I know how it may trouble you so. But alas, I am at a loss as to what to write. I am staying busy with school, working, and the like. I love that phrase..."and the like" Who came up with that? I'd like to meet them and say "hey, thats a stupid phrase, you are the last person who should be thinking up saying. Have you done any other work or are you a one hit wonder." I hope he/she doesnt read this site and start to cry.

Read this, it will make you happy.

http://www.february-7.com/features/conan.htm

I read a story today that went like this...

There once was a boy named Internet and one day he got lost and NEVER came back.

Well HOLD THE PRESSES cuz he's back in town!

In other news, while waking up this morning I was perplexed as to how deaf people wake up. Seriously, they can't hear the alarm. Does their bed shake? Does someone have to come and wake them up? Anyone know?

ok i'm gonna hang out with ma friend Internet.

Ok so here is the deal. Ithaca College has no internet right now bc of this thing known as the Blaster virus. I'm only able to access it since I am an RA and can use the official offices with compooders in it. So it might be awhile before I can really update. Its all busy-like now that the residents moved it. but at least I can walk without a limp. Toe is A-OK.

I'm hungry...it seems the cheerios I ate an hour ago will not surfice for the night.
DRAT!

Oh and David Sedaris is coming to Ithaca soon. How amazing?! He's a writer and his sister did that show Strangers with Candy. I am so excited that I could see him perform some readings from his book. Rock!

Warning! Since my injury of last week there has been many more instances. This raises concerns and talks of a curse. Could it be that just my toe being injured somehow off set the world's rotation causing people to walk into things? It's a big possibility. Since my injury, a fellow staff member hit her foot and bruised it. My ENTIRE immediate family has hit their toe. Another RA dropped a bottle on his, and Yvone hit hers as well. Now either this is some weird phenomenon OR everyone things it's "hip" to injury the toe region.

If that is the case. Tisk tisk America...and the World. POSERS! Get your own way to hurt yourself.

I'm so graceful it hurts.

Literally. Because I have mastered the skill of walking up stairs SO Well I am capable of stubbing my big toe so badly it bleeds, oozes white blood cells, hurts like a bitch enough for me to leave RA training go to the Health Center and have the Doctor tell me that there is blood under my nail that is causing pressure and lots of pain. Only I can have a lame store of falling UP the stairs, busting my toe, have it NOT be broken but get the most pain I could from something that in the long run wont cause future hospital visits.

GO ME!

Oh no....I did it again. Allow me to explain. I picked a theme for my door tags today to be Saved by the Bell because honestly, Who didnt love that show? I can't go wrong. So I decide, 'hey I'll hop online and see if I can find some pictures of the cast.' Head to google and there is this quiz to tell you which character you would be. I take it. And what does Colleen get?

A.C. Slater...a MAN! A JOCK! This definately doesnt help my lesbian complex

I had to pack to go back to college. It's for RA training so they snatch 2 weeks of summer for that. And this time I got lost. Went with Merry and we had no problem, but that was bc there wasnt insane traffic on the LIE and the Cross Island had an exit sign. So then I turned around and took it South figuring it would be ok since I was going the other way. Nope. I then took it north, didnt see signs for the Trogs Neck, so I went south again. Then, I dont even know how, I was at JFK in the cargo area or something. I was on the verge of freaking out hardcore after I couldnt find my mom's cell phone that she gave me in case such a situation should arrive.
So I asked ppl at the terminal how to get there, and BAM then in was easy as pie.

We get to name our vacuume. Naturally calling it Your Mom would be hilarious but some might take offense. As such, Herbert is a very big possibility.

On a "What the Hell?!" note: I still can't access my ithaca mail account on my computer, so Dana I feel your pain. I can go on other computer and it works but mine doesnt want me to check my mail. Maybe I got a bad email that might hurt my feelings so this fine machine is trying to save me from emotional turmoil.
Yo no se.*

*Spanish, Transation: I don't know.

See you learn something everyday.