Did you know that Town House Crackers are the BEST Crackers in the WORLD?!

Evidence:
1) Kings eat them
2) God eats on the weekends and made up the story about the snake who tricked Adam and Eve. The truth is that they chose the apples over the crackers...we cant have that.
3) Lincoln was shot cuz he ate popcorn at the theatre instead of Town House Crackers
4) You know why Alan Rickman is so great? No not from the Great Juice or Fanastic Steak....its cuz o' the Town Hiz-ous Crack-azz, son!

Best thing for beginning 2002: Alan Rickman eating Town House Crackers with Cream cheese while feeding his pet bat a bowl of wax fruit as he watches Trading Spaces and listening to Dashboard Confessional.

Can do. Will do. DONE!
-Jack Stone (lego legend)