Oh snap guess who won Phrase O the Week? Uh, yeah ME! That's right, I say funny things...

So Liz wanted to know how many eyes ants have. I sadly had to break the news to her that they indeed had none. Now she didnt just ask this for no reason, ya see she has to make a children's book..equipped with drawings. So I told her she could still draw eyes on these ants and totally mess with the childs education by showing them a picture of a lie. She then said, "thats what i'm thinking itd be stupid if it didnt have no eyes." To which I replied:

Yeah...just like blind people

Thats right, blind people are stupid. I don't care. They won't read what I have to say. And you know why? Because they can't see. HA HA!!

*I then lost my vision for the next hour*

I find this humorus, hopefully you will too. I call it, Love of a Lifetime:
Snape143=Me
FJive45=Liz
Parker=my dog

Snape143: do you like the puppy
Snape143: mr.parker
FJive45: is he asking
FJive45: man hes so insecure
Snape143: i know
Snape143: he wants to know
Snape143: he wants to take you to the prom
FJive45: he does?...
FJive45: i...dont even know how to respond
FJive45: wait yes i do...
FJive45: NO
FJive45: HE'S A DOG YOU FREAK!!!
FJive45: stop hiding behind your dog and ask me yourself!
Snape143: no parker wants to know
Snape143: not me..
Snape143: i swear!
Snape143: i-i have a date
FJive45: ...
FJive45: umm
FJive45: you WOULD!
Snape143: your just jealous!
Snape143: and I love you!
FJive45: your just a slut!
FJive45: and i love sluts!
Snape143: [gasp]
Snape143: well then we must marry
FJive45: what happens now
FJive45: AH!
FJive45: of couuuurse
Snape143: who wants to be the man?
FJive45: hmm
FJive45: shotty woman!
Snape143: damn
Snape143: but i'm the slut
Snape143: how does that work?
Snape143: you have to be slutty then
FJive45: why do you make our relationship so complicated we JUST want to get married
FJive45: you're alllways diong this!
FJive45: i'm going to beat you y'hear me!
Snape143: i want out of this relationship, you are suffocating me!
FJive45: fine!
Snape143: you never let me be the lady!
Snape143: you BITCH!
FJive45: there isnt a smiley in the smily box for what i am feeling right now!
Snape143: oh boo woo! :'(
FJive45: ooloo
FJive45: HA!
FJive45: figure that ouy!
Snape143: you are SO difficult
Snape143: i dunno why i fell for you
FJive45: its the BIRD!!
Snape143: i coulda been a dancer!
FJive45: i let you be a stripper
FJive45: nothing is ever enough for you
Snape143: i dont wanna strip no mo
Snape143: i feel iky
FJive45: what are you a nun or something
Snape143: no your the nun
Snape143: and a disturbed one since you made me strip
Snape143: made me get up there and dance for cash
FJive45: you were always hocked up on coke! what was i suppose to do!
Snape143: hey you leave the coke out of this
FJive45: i hata youa
Snape143: i hate you
Snape143: its OVER!
FJive45: :-*pssssh whatev
Snape143: [hands you divorce papers]
FJive45: ::pees on divorce papers::
Snape143: GROSS!
Snape143: [drops a duce on your carpet]
FJive45: EVEN GROSSER!
FJive45: if a duce is what i think it is!
Snape143: yeah thats right!
FJive45: i cant belieeeeve i even thought about names for our ten thousand babies

Don't worry I didnt have ten thousand babies, only nine thousand nine hundred and thirty four.

I was given the opportunity to speak with one of the most established and dare I say, exotic people of our time. Our time meaning my age and my friends. My friends being invista-ble...I asked a random stranger and totally made up those first couple sentences. Anyhoo I asked this "stranger" (cough) Merry Mc (cough) many insightful questions:

Question: Would you ever eat a booger?
Answer: If I was starving to death and the only thing in the world left to eat was boogers, sure. I mean, I did it when I was a kid, cant be that bad

Question: Now how much boogers did you eat as a child?
Answer: I dont know

Question: A ton?
Answer: Nah. I didnt do it much.

Question: How about ten pounds?
Answer: (no response)

Question: Did you ever order a pound of boogers instead of a pound of turkey at the supermarket?
Answer: Nah, I'd feel silly. [I never order turkey]

Question: Did you ever go on a date with a booger, to a movie perhaps?
Answer: Nope. Never.

Question: Are you prejudice against boogers?
Answer: A little. Green isn't that great of a color to me. Does nothing for me.

Question: If Brad Pitt was made of boogers, would he still be attractive?
Answer: Probably not. Too slimy for my tastes.

Question: Do you like beef?
Answer: Not particularly.

Question: Do you like kittens?
Answer: Absolutely

Question: Do you like kittens with boogers?
Answer: Meh. You could clean the boogers. If it's a kitten made out of boogers, I'd rather a soft non booger one.

Question: What if your mom told you that you were adopted and you were actually a booger. How would you react?
Answer: I'd probably frown. Than learn to accept it.

Question: What would life as a booger be like?
Answer: Gooey.

Question: What would your hobbies include?
Answer: Same as a normal person. And avoiding being picked.

Question: Whats it like to be picked?
Answer: A piece of pie

THe EnD

Todays Random Fact O the Day is from Ms. Liz Rivalsi

"air is sold in mexico city for $1.15 a minute by sidewalk vendors."

She knows so much about other cultures. I think its cuz she watches The Learning Channel...that or porn. I'm not sure which...

Ladies and gentlemen:

aoyiu otuaso fhaoyou oauistoijhaslookoaijfdl rtaelikeoaisejwif jaapenislkmpaoitj'aeinf
quote from nerdroid...super nerd, super hero

to quote Billy Madison: I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!

Yeah thats right, I just won the 2nd grade spelling bee! What now fool?!

Now for the real deal. I noticed that my posts were getting annoying to read. You had to scroll over to read the whole thing. I dunno about you but i find this agitating. Agitating enough to find a way to fix it. Now in case it still appears the same way...allz you gotta do it click on the [+] thing after my name. Yaye! all fixed!

Ithaca or Marymount? Where is my destiny? I think if I flip a coin it would be easier.

[goes on a search for a quarter. naturally i bring a shovel with me on this journy. it's just not a journey without a shovel. thankful i find a quarter and hold it up victoriously.]

Heads its Marymount, Tales its Ithaca...

[tosses future. it tumlbes. its shines. it lands in my palm. deep breath.]

Outcome: Tales

Hurray I is sick. Bronchitis and sinus infection are throwing a HUGE party in my body. And they thought they would get away with it..D.C. is the Devil! Stupid senior trip almost negated itself. Lots O fun, but nasty disease all over da place. But this party is starting to crash. Mr.Sinus is hung over. Bronchitis is passed out on the couch. They are SO going to be kicked out. No one uses me and gets to throw parties in...me. (awkward pause) Yeah. Ok. So...uh, how was your day? (forced smile)

Oh and I know why guys like golf. I analyzed the game. Ok check this out. Now they hit a ball with a stick and hope it goes in a hole. And the hole seems unattainable. The object of the game is to get the ball in the hole with the least amount of hits. Hmmm...get the ball in the hole with the least amount of trying...what ever could that mean??

Saying O the Senior Trip: anything that dealt with F-ing like a Banshee. For example, as Merry stated oh so calmly: Oh I F like a banshee.

Today I got some feedback to the post made on 4/9. Appearently the following line troubled the mind of one Elizabeth Mary Rivalsi: You know, if I did become a boy I wonder which side I would tend to keep my "package" on. Left or right?

We here at Kickin' it Oldschool would like to apologize to her and all those offended by boy junk. But hey its not my fault cuz I have a gine.

Seeing that I am a senior I will be attending the Senior Trip to D.C. I expect fun and good times to be had by all. Knowing that I will not be around this weekend I will give you the Phrase O the Week. This weeks goes to Tony. He said it about 10 minutes ago while breaking into his house. He managed to lock himself outside his house and had to go in threw a window. Unfortunately the only window open had a dresser blocking half of it so he had to squeeze inside. Once inside he had this to say about the experience:

It's like being born.

Congratulations its a boy! I also have an extra special treat for you guys. There was a Song and Dance O the Week performed by Mr. Jesse Goldman and myself. This MASTER PIECE was born in our video class. Jesse kept crossing his feet to each side and on the spot I came up with a beautiful song to go with it. It goes a lil something like a-dis:

It's so pretty
It's so pretty
It's so pretty
I love it

Even if you see it, I bet you still will have no idea what's going on. Don't worry. It's ok to be confused. And speaking of confused you bet I will be totally out of it tomorrow when I have to be at the school at 4am for the trip. I'm telling you right now, if anyone is awake on my bus and being a total jackass, I WILL kill them. Don't even go out searching for the murderer, it will be me. No one talks...or else! (narrows eyes and slowly beats hand with fist)

Now I'm off to pack. Happy weekend to all, and to all a good night...

Mad-Phat Beat: Sugar Ray-Live and Direct

(Leans in and whispers) Hey uh..check this out: http://members.aol.com/johnk0/godkills.jpg

It will make you think...sorta

Did you know?:

Oysters can change from one gender to another and back again.

It's too bad I can't do that. I wonder what kind of boy I would be. Would I be hot? or cold? Would I be able to regulate my body temperature or would it fluckuate...did i spell that right? I bet not. Maybe if I were a boy I could spell words right. You know, if I did become a boy I wonder which side I would tend to keep my "package" on. Left or right? I think i'd be a right kinda person.
Oh boy junk...

A quiet evening with friends is the best tonic for a long day....in bed (giggles)

I apologize to all those who are fans of the Oldschool and like to kick it. I tried to write my Phrase o the Week yesterday but Mr.Server was just "too busy" for me. Whatever! He always makes time for everybody else. I think he doesnt know how to love me...

Anyway Last weeks Phrase O the Week is brought to you by the comedic genius that is Conan O'Brien. While doing his skit of In The Year 2000..(no it wasnt a rerun, he still does it now) he often takes a glimpse of what the future holds. This is one of the things he had to say:

Instead of saying 'Thank you' when someone tells you that you have something in your teeth, the new response will be: 'I can't believe I ate all those old people.'

Thank you Conan. We all need alittle old people in our diet. They are high in fiber.

A song for you: Hanging 'round by Counting Crows..oh they be hanging 'round

Todays Longest Website Address goes to...
(Drum roll)

Mapquest!!
(hardcore Mapquest fans cheer and huge each other in victory)

Here it is:
http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&ct=NA&1ah=&1a=9+elm+st.&1p=&1c=Lake+Grove&1s=NY&1z=11775&1y=US&2ah=hrpu3pOULp306kwc3WYPJgtEjbEyetVNTNmR%252fxTO%252fCnpc4z6UdZk9Pyf7lNdbiTxV311LTnIEi5W%252b%252b3BC2NvRg%253d%253d&2a=74+Glen+Summer+Rd&2p=&2c=Holbrook&2s=NY&2z=11741&2y=US&lr=2&x=33&y=16

Its simply beautiful...

A conversation for all the Mr.T lovers out there:

ISmellNY: Mr. T is so threatening.
ISmellNY: I wish he wasn't so T'ish
Lactaid Lady: wha?
Lactaid Lady: you crazy
ISmellNY: Your icon thingy.
ISmellNY: It's givin me the crreeeeep
ISmellNY: (s
ISmellNY: _
ISmellNY: )
Lactaid Lady: i know you are talkin bout my icon
Lactaid Lady: but its all jibba jabba
Lactaid Lady: i pity da foo that dont like T
ISmellNY: I pity da fool dat like Col.
Lactaid Lady: oh no you didnt...
Lactaid Lady: T dont like that
ISmellNY: T don't like this either.
Lactaid Lady: nope
ISmellNY: *punches Col in the mouth*
Lactaid Lady: You=dead
ISmellNY: Me=God's Son
Lactaid Lady: (checks with god) Nope
Lactaid Lady: he says you aint nut-ting
ISmellNY: Awwwwwwwww shit.
ISmellNY: It's on now!
Lactaid Lady: bring it!
ISmellNY: *Punches col in the shouler and kicks her in the thigh*
Lactaid Lady: you cant hurt me
Lactaid Lady: (col grows into the incredible hulk)
Lactaid Lady: (growls)
Lactaid Lady: ROAAAR!
ISmellNY: AHhhhhhhhh
ISmellNY: *runs*
ISmellNY signed off at 7:46:18 PM.
Lactaid Lady: ya damn right

For awhile I've been building this sandcastle. My own little kingdom. But this week an obnoxious bully keeps showing up. Continually knocking it down. Til all that's left is a pile of sand. You know how he reacts? He smiles and laughs at my misfortune. A gleam in his eye as he does it.

Just STOP god damn it! KNOCK IT OFF!

I just want to build a sandcastle. Tears of frustration. My efforts go to waste. Constant destruction of my dream. My life.
A pile of sand.

At least I have sand.

Come with me to a journey around...Question Corner!

Would you rather be a prostitute or a nun?
My answer: nun
Reason: I wouldnt be able to deal with having multiple partners in return for money. I'd feel skeevy

Who would you rather "do," Jay Leno or Dave Letterman?
My answer: Letterman
Reason: Well its mainly because I find him funnier and that he's from NY...otherwise the thought of it is pretty gross

Which would you chose: a bitter genie OR a cheese sandwich?
My answer: Cheese sandwich
Reason: Uhh...cheese RULES!

What's more awkward: walking in on someone in the bathroom OR giving an old person a sponge bath?
My answer: sponge bath
Reason: well, there are many. First of all I dont want to even go near the old genitalia. Second, there is a better chance to have eye contact more than once. Third, what if the old person has no shame...((Shiver))

Now that you are all disturbed at the thought of an old person naked in a tub of water...I will leave you.

Honesty time!!
Senior year is like an oxymoron. The beginning is so much fun. Then college rears its ugly head. We freak out. For me it's like I've been in this long hallway with a nice red door at the end that says College. You start to walk down this hallway once school begins. You pass kindergarden. Elementary school. Junior High...oh awkwardness. Then your a freshman. Oh the seniors are so cool! No, they just don't care. They act obnoxious cuz they can. They are leaving. So why care? All of a sudden this HUGE red door is right in my face. But there is black hole posted on the wall beside it. Like the ones cartoons use to escape. Escape. Escape reality. Cmon. Jump inside. So many fall apart at the end of this hallway. I look. I see it. I sigh and shake my head. What are you doing? I just look ahead. The knob is shiny and gold. I grab it. Turn...

Ben Folds Five = Good time Music

hmmm...dis what I'm tinkin' bout:

1. I need a hair cut soon. Will you do it?
2. I need to get a job. Would you hire me?
3. Holy Crap I'm actually going to california. Bonus: with my 2 best friends!
4. Aretha Franklin can really bring the house down
5. It's nice outside; I'll probably stay indoors with Mr.Television
6. (points finger up) To the Shower!!

Question O the Day:
Would you rather own a UFO or a Nimbus 2001 (for those who dont read Harry Potter, it's the brooms they fly on)?

Note: The last post deals with something that upset me, hence some of the irrational thoughts mentioned in my poem. It was pure emotion and it was how I felt/feel. Hopefully people don't take offense to it and realize it was a way of venting my reaction.

Plus: Did you know that I slept with Britney Spears and we're in love, lesbian love. We're going to adopt a baby!

Reality Check: April Fools!! Oh Man, you SO believe that was true!

"Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world, I feel I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in."
---Ricky Fitts from American Beauty