Yesterday I farted on Yvone at least 7 times. I mean, yes, I am pretty gassy but that was unheard of. They just kept coming so I was like...ok share the wealth. Ben told me I was grosser than any of his guy friends. Soon after that I began to burp.

Yvone had this to say about her experience:

"I want to be like you so I can fart on people. It's so beautiful and meaningful. It's like your sharing yourself with other people because you are a very giving person."

"Oh my god, you burped and then you farted. You are amazing. You are God."

Now I know I aint no God, but I think the reason for all my gas is being lactose intolerant. My stomach kinda sucks. And guess what I had yesterday! Ice-cream and I had only one pill with me so I think that one pill took away the pain but didnt stop the flatulance.

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This morning I was eating an english muffin that I put jelly and butter on. At one point I went to take a bit and some of the filling fell out. Hmm..where did it go? Yeah, right on my pants. But not only was it on my pants but it landed on the best spot, right on the crotch. I mean this thing hit the seam. It's crazy. I haven't changed my pants yet.