As Mayor of this town, I declare this day....(dramatic pause for effect) "Fun with Faces Day" (expression goes from happy to sad to blushing to angry to big happy face with sunglasses)

That is all.

So it's Christmas eve and what does Colleen's brain think? - "It don't feel like christmas"

I have never not felt so apathetic about christmas before, and i can't tell why, although it might be the developing cold i received this morning...jee I wonder who i got that from (cough) Merry (cough). But it's ok I won't hold a grudge (turns around and angrily mutters to self) ANYWAY...There must be an unbalance in the cosmos. Its been "cold" for a total of about 5 days this whole "winter." Mother nature is pullin a fast one on us. She's all...ha ha it's all warm n such, and we're all...whaaaaa? But i did see Die Hard for the first time today, i am very deprived in the classic movie section, for I am yet to see Braveheart. (many of you prob just went WHAT! or gasped/winced at the thought...but alas it is true) But we can cross Die Hard off the list now. And i must say i didn't watch it just cuz i hadn't seen it. There is a subplot here, I watched it to see my buddy Alan Rickman. He's so cool. I want to shake his hand.

-Your mission if you choose to accept it is to download the Drunken Christmas Carol that has been played on the radio station of Z100. Upon downloading it, listen to the masterful lyrics. Superb and Fantastically Fruity (just how i like my men). On behalf of the "drunken singer" I'd like to say: Merry Gimmas!

**Your computer will self destruct in Five, Four, Three, (run!) Two, (are you insane, still sitting there!) One...**

You didnt think I'd really have the ability to rig explosives to your computer now did you?

KA-BOOM!

Lots of creativity this week. 2 reinventions of well known songs, and one creation of a new magical character of sorts.

1st song was in Economics where we must fight to keep from going insane. Merry and I were getting quiet bored and as such started to say things to entertain ourselves. Upon realizing Mr.Spelmen was a true economist i said: Ya'll can't deny it, he's an economist.
(then mer chimed in) You don't wanna (noise of letter F) with him.

Then in Digital Media Jesse and I created the Sarcastic Dry Comment Fairy. She appears in an instant, says something like, "hey, thats a real nice shirt you got there." Then enthusiastically vanishes. Instead of been cheerful and saying nice things, she's sarcastic and saves all her energy for when she disappears.

And lastly on the way back from Senior Wills, there was a radio in there and the last song we heard was "little did she know she kissed a hero." So on the way to the car i think I changed the words and then Liz sang them with such grace..."Little did she know she kissed her poopsie." And that line awards her the Phrase O da Week. Congrats Liz.

Speakin o poopsie, i really dont have a definition for it. Its not poop and it's not sie...I really need to define it. Cuz right now it could be considered junk (the vaguest word in the english language)

For the honor of Ms.Hance (who may visit this very site tonight, if she can unlock the mystery of technology) I shall tell you about the ever exciting Magical Elves.

Did ya'll hear 'bout dem Magical Elves yet? Well, all you gots to do is find a picture of one (your best bet is to have a friend draw a picture, you can't draw your own, it doesnt work that way). So once you got yourself a picture, place it in front of you. Stare into the eyes for a moment (to capture the magic). Then you must WILL the elf off the paper. This procedure can become long and tedious if you don't know what you're doing. To will them out, think of Elf Land and the type of things your elf has, or would like to have. Each elf is different though, so if your friend gets his/hers to come out, dont try to cheat and do what they did. Once you guess right....POOF! Out he comes to grant all the wishes your lil heart desires.
(no gaurantee that you're eld won't turn evil. Life expectency: 6months-3yrs)

First and formost Alan Rickman rules (for those of you who don't know, hes an actor)

I am getting progressively lazy..
Yousay: You? Lazy?
I reply: I know! It's crazy
..Half way throught the week in which i am controlling my fate...my fate of waking up that is. My alarm clock is normally set for 6:15, BUT I denied the Gods and turned it to 6:21, as such, giving my more time to sleepy. Then, tuesday morning a sound went off indicating it was time to get up, this time at 6:21. Again, I rebelled, setting it for 6:30 I then re-engaged sleepy time. At this rate, by Friday I won't get to school on time. I defy you stars!!
Speakin o which, the remake of Romeo + Juliet is SUCH a great movie. The style, setting, colors, the raspberry flavored drink that Juliet complains about, cuz she'd rather any other flavor except that (rumors on the street is that she fancies cherry)

Quick shout out to Passions. Quality crap. Once you watch...well, nothing happens.

On behalf of "Our Family," I'd like to say we are all happy to hear about this lady who has wondered into Tony's life. You deserve it T-sac.

Now it's saturday and I wasn't home on Friday cuz I have a life (wink wink) but here is the phrase o the week. It's brought to all of y'all from the ancient talking turtle from The Never Ending Story. While discussing "the nothing" with Atreau (thats prob spelled wrong..but he's the worrier kid), he said:
--We don't care so much that we don't care.
Now thats a whole lot of Not caring going on.

I have so much junk to write and do this weekend, it's times like this when I wish I had a time machine so I could just skip ahead of doing all that work. That, and I have always wanted to jump in a time machine when i had 20 bucks in my pocket so when i arrived in the 1800s i would be the richest kid in town.

Man I want a time machine...

And now...

What do the rich folk do,
When they've lost a stock-share or two?
..eh screw it, it's too hard to write a song that matches the magic found in "What do the simple folk do?" \
Billy Joel dropped a coal in a stocking, Are you mocking..me? Pop pop fizz fizz oh what a relief it's not. For my stomach remains in a knot. Watch out for that Robot..it'll get ya. Apples are green, you know what I mean, Mr. Clean?
Monkey see, monkey do, monkey eats stew.
Yuck...stew.

Enough of that, back to stuff that makes sense, like airbound rocks, and exploding fish.

I decided to look up some words today...you know expand my vocabulary.

pantie/panty- pl.panties: a woman's or child's undergarment covering the lower trunk and made with closed crotch

pimp: a man who solicits clients for a prostitute

poop(1): an eclosed superstructure at the stern of a ship
poop(2): slang: information
**these definitions are SO wrong

monkey: a primate mammal other than man; one of the smaller, longer-tailed, and usually more arboreal primates as contrasted with the apes

flatulence: the release of gas from the body

booby- plu-boobies: an awkward ineffective person: dope

**Zee Poopsie** Thats right, you'll be seeing that in the yearbook, i'm getting my 16 cents worth.

Song o the week: Chinese Rappa's Delight-Tai Mai Shu

Take a glimpse, if you dare, into a misty conversation in the night.

Lactaid Lady: i wish i could be like Hamlet and pretend to be crazy
Cookies4Grandma: you can...
Cookies4Grandma: but i don't know where that would get you... your not seeking revenge on your uncle for killing your father
Lactaid Lady: rats!
Cookies4Grandma: i mean, unless there is something i don't konw about
(dun Dun DUN)

Are you starting to question my past? If i have any skeletons in my closet? If you shouldnt have eaten that (insert food product hea)?
--Ah hA! I thought so...For there is method to my madness, or is there?

I started the third Harry Potter book today. Let's see how long it takes to read dis one.

There are taxes on everything now a days, cept air...and poop. Can you imagine a poop tax? Every time you go to poop you have to pay a nickel, maybe more depending on the economy. And what happens to those who can't afford this tax, you ask? Well...it's a horrible way to die, Poop Implosion. The poop has no where else to go, like a wondering bum, so it simply explodes. Many don't know this but poop is actually explosive. When it's inside of your body for too long, it travels upward and once it hits some organs..BAM!! It seems harmless when it's outside of the body, because the air neutralizes it, but inside, its a time bomb. So if you can't afford to poop, you better pray they inforce an air tax first....

There is a product in the market known as the Monkey Bike, I am like "Wow!, I don't believe!"

AHH I have delays on this site like it's my job or something. Before I start I would like to tell all that Thursday, Dec 6, 2001 is a day that shall live in infamy forever in my life. IT was the greatest day o my life. I actually got to go on a braodway stage and preform a monologue. It was the greatest feeling in the world making all those people laugh. Without a doubt it's what I want to do for the rest of my life.

But back to business, I noticed Friday has passes and I left you all out in the cold with no Phrase O the Week. So here it comes now.
This week's phrase is from the ever so talented, Liz Rivalsi. There is no use in explaining it cuz it really makes no sense.
--(As she raises her hand and draws it across her face she says) "Ah, cancer. (Then goes to sleep)
Thank you Liz.

Everyone is getting a big box o Love for Xmas, for it is all i can afford. (insert sad face hea)

...Grandma has figured out how to use the internet..and she even has a site going. All hell is breaking loose!

I apologize for all who are close to me this week as I find myself not wanting to be around people at times so far this week, even my good friends. I don't know why. So i'm sorry if I come off "cold" I dont want to be. I'm starting to get annoyed at myself, cuz I'm aware of this "problem" but it seems I don't know how to get out of this mood. Maybe if I pet Zee Kitty, on Zee Place Mat I will feel Zee Better.

FightClub is the craziest movie ever. Pixies: Where's my mind?

I am deepy sorry for my lack of phrase o the week for y'all, I twas so busy chiz-illin wit my homes. But alas! no more excuses. I will make it up to you right now, by announcing an unpresidented event in the history of Kickin it Oldschool. I am giving you a triple Phrase o da week!!

Merry has not been given the honor of this but now gets two! Due to her hilarious week of crazy talk. The first came on Sunday, while discussing ghetto phrases where her mom didnt believe "holla!" was one of them. Her mom said guys at work told her new things and one of them was how pounding someone instead of high fiving, and Ms.Marie (her mom) held out her fist for mer and mer says:
--Mom, I will NOT pound you.

Then on Wed I went over there agian to say Happy B-Day to Ms.Marie, and Mer and I were watching it and i wouldnt give her the remote unless she took off her pants, but she wouldnt do it unless the world was watching. So I invited the world into her room and she said:
--But then i wont have any PANTS on!! (in some crazy accent)

The Last night Mr. Jesse Goldman was talkin to me about the SAT circles that you answer the questions with, he said the following:
--You have to fill then in full and black. Just like I'd like my women.

Personally I like my men, Fantasically Fruity...like ice pops.

Oh and I enjoy dancing to the Mad Phat Beats whenever possible, (makes vulgar hand motion)

Sorry for the lack O updates...it's Harry Potter's fault. He made me read (bites lip, trying to hold back the tears)...and see the movie. GASP

Oh the mystery of the rubber pencil and/or pen. A shake o the wrist and you can change its composition. I saw Tony do it the other day in economics, working his magic. I think people want to think its an optical illusion, they cant accept the fact that it really turns to rubber...trust me, i know. I bet if I was big and strong enough to pick up a car and shake it around, it would turn to rubber. I could become a superhero...rename myself the Rubber Bandit. I could have the ability to change everyday things to rubber. It would be very safe for the kiddies....can't hurt yo'self with rubber.

Alan Rickman as Professor Snape...amazing. (Harry Potter character, for those of you who dont know...::raises eyebrow::)

You know what my name means? Colleen: Definition-Girl. How undescriptive. I'm jealous of people whose names actually mean something which is like...oh let's see...everyone! My name should just be Blank. I'm empty. Well not empty...just you know, girl. Which is pretty ironic for me. Good job parents. I'm So not your typical girl, never have been. Played with Ninja Turtles (the heros in a half shell...turtle power!) instead of Barbies, always wear sneakers (that i steal from my friends..mu-haha), perfected the one handed fart noise-thanks cousin Adam and Eric, and I rate my burps...YEP, I'm a girl. (Sits back in the chair all proud-like)

And now like the rest of the nation I am caught in this Harry Potter deal. Started reading the book last night, read some in creative writing, and then for 2 hours when I got home. I've never been so into a book since Goosebumps...remember those. Hmm..I'm starting to question my reading level...

Writing college essays is a challenge to make fun. I try to make boring things into fun things so I want to do them. Right now this challenge is being heavily procrastinated. This Emerson one is killing me, "write about your history." I'm trying to creatively involve some life aspects, and achievements to make my life sound adventurous. Mayby I'll just pretend I am Indiana Jones on my way to the Temple of Doom. Talk about my trustly whip and ability to always pick up a fetchin young lady while fighting off possessed mummies. It's not as easy as it sounds so stop rolling your eyes. You think I like having to save people all the time, like I'm a superhero or something. I'm only human, and this world asks too much of me....so i declare upon this day, the 25th of November, my retirement from the Jones Family Business. (Guy is heard saying WHA?!)

-No Doubt: Tragic Kingdom. Such a good CD. It was reborn yesterday for a car ride, and now I want to listen to it but cannot, for it is inside of Merry's CD player. RATS!

Good ol' mom. It was her Bday on Wed the 21st, and what did she want you might ask...boring things. No offense to my mom but as people in general age their creativity seems to fade. Earings, stuff for the car, a deer whistle- i have NO idea what that is but it was on the list, shirts, turtleneck. Actually I dont think earings was even on the list this year. My dad is the same way though with this stuff-he just loves his turtlenecks. But as they get older (cough) 45 (cough) there desire for fun/non-boring things dies. I should get her some poopsie or maybe renew some AMAZING artwork I did in kindergarden of a rainbow and a sun. It's a challenge to make shoppin interesting year after year, it's wearing me out. I question if i have the stamina to continue...I'm alone on this, my brother is of NO help what so ever. But I will previal...i hope. (bites lip)

I'm out like an obese man after eating a thanksgiving meal

1st things 1st...Phrase O Da Week!!

This week it is brought to you by Heather Hadgeoff. While discussing a student in our school, who for dignity purposes will remain unknown, she said:
"She used to fart uncontrollably"
--the opposite of controlled farting.

Now back to the usual business...

Time is crazy thing. Techniquely it's always constant. Each second measured, but you can't base everything on an exact science like that. Time can take forever when it wants to; like when you're running late, you have this drawn out time where nothing gets accomplished. Yet, other times you are early and you waste time just waiting. So I have come to the conclusion that time is a human entity in the way it goes along in a daily routine. Most of the ..time..(laughs at self because I'm writing about time so its funny to use it in that sentence..) Anyway, it usually runs fine but there are points where it is behind or ahead of schedual. Maybe when a week seems to be crawling along..its because time hurt itself playin ultimate frizbee, or it has the cold, or is depressed b/c time is alone. There is no other TIME, just one. One lone soul. So don't get mad at the clock, it's only human. Hate the game, not the playa.

tra

Let's discuss a compound word. Cornbread. Corn. Bread. Corn- a food source which is consistantly yellow, with options on comsumption: Choose between its natural creation of a cob or the individual pixels removed. Then we have Bread: Composed of yeast, with a sponge like appearance. Comes in assorted variations. I.E.-Wheat, Rye, White, Potato, Raisin, etc. Options of toasting come with it as well. It's commonly used when constructing a "sandwich." When you combine both these substances you get a magnificent carbon based meal. A delight for the tummy. Oh so yummy. In the words of Chris Rock- "Aint nothing wrong wit dat!"

Recent polls show the following:
IN: When Mother Nature makes sense
OUT: When Mother Nature is drunk and the weather goes all over da place

IN: Da poopsie
OUT: pee pee

IN: Writing notes to yourself
OUT: Getting a note from someone

Word Big Bird. Big bird. He was yella, like this fella I once knew, who, lived in a shoe. It was brown and he would always flush it down. Down a river. There's a fiber, he lies, he flies...he dies. And thus is life. Don't be a knife they are too sharp so play a harp in the orchestra. Music is key, don't get stung by that bee, for he, is the King and here's the thing...the royalty will not save thee from the fires of hell. So very well, ring my bell, and I will come a-runnin'. Ain't that som'em?

Funny ting I heard: Guys are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicaped.
--its funny...cuz it's true.