If I were reincarnated into a fruit I think I'd be... a banana. It goes with lots of foods. It's yella. Grows on a cool tree. And monkeys eat it. Yeah monkeys!

Mike Myers IS Austin Powers IN Goldmember WHICH WAS soldout. Rats! Stupid summer that allows other people to go see movies at 12:30. People ruin everything. For instance nature. What have we done for her? I'll tell you what. We've taken a GIANT dump on her carpet and blamed it on the dog. And guess what? She doesnt even HAVE a dog. It'll be fun to see how our great great great grandkids will survive. I bet they'll lose. Mother Nature...more like mother-fer!
oh snap

I hope I didnt offend Mother Nature. I was only kidding. It's my job. Gotta pay dem bills or the man will disconnect ma phone.

This is what happens when you can't go sleepies. You ramble. My rambling is semi-coherent. At least I think so.

Examples of Sarcasm:
hey col
-Yes child?
let's say that hypothetically this old lady is walking near me and she keeps farting and it smells like old beef. What should I say?
-Ask her to continue to fart cuz it smells REAL good.

*this has been an example of sarcasm*
Paid for by the word pedagogic
-Hey, doesnt that mean educational?
You bet! Wow your smart. (mumbles under breath) dumbass..
-I heard that.

Today I...

bought lots of music. Not with money, but with magic. No I lied. I bought it with money. Like you can get anything with magic, jeez. Anyway this is what the music told me when we talked in my room. This is just between me and you so don't tell no body, ya hear?

Jimmy said:
it just takes some time
little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
everything everything will be just fine
everything everything will be alright

I dunno about you, but I believe him.

Then Coldplay was all:
so if you ever feel neglected
if you feel like all is lost
I'll be counting up my demons
hoping everythings not lost

Now I hear dat. word up.

Sometimes I wish... that the world was a giant cookie and everyone could eat it. There would be no hunger. The water would be milk. Milk and cookies for all. Happy people. Yum. I likes ma cookies. And of course in this world, I wouldnt be lactose intolerant. Hurray says Colleen. Hurray indeed.

Hey, what's the deal
-What chu talkin' 'bout Willis?
Yo, I don't even care.
-You do too.
I know.

I dont feel like writing about the last day of plane rides cuz i dont have my book with me. So later I'll have to time travel. Right now there are bigger fish to fry.

Scavanger hunt gone bad:
So last night chaos errupts due to the one and only Rays. We had to get a sprinkler head and on our second attempt Nick jumps out of the car and he is trying to unscrew it. He's out there for about 30 seconds when he drops it and runs to the car saying "They're Coming! They're Coming!" I look back to the house and see nothing. We start to drive. Back window shows two pretty built guys running after the car with a goal to kick the you know what outta us. We speed down the road. Turn at the light and pull into a gas station looking for more things on the list. A car pulls up near us and two guys get out. They look similar and I realize Holy Crap! that's them. Floor it out of there as they ask Where you going? No here. Like a bat out of hell til the safety of a residential area saves us.
All over a sprinkler head that we didnt even get.
*Needless to say, the hunt was over after that.*

Newsflash: In the local news, a gang of sign language gorillas came up to Ralph's Italian Ices. They caused quite the situation when they demanded we give them ALL of our banana ices. Good thing Jess T was there, she fought them off with her bare hands. So brave. That's what I told my boss anyway. We like to keep him on his toes. Who knows when the real gorillas will attack.

Hey Fudge Baby: we told Jess T to say, here is your fudge baby to this 20yr old kid who ordered a Triple Chocolate Ralphie. At first she resisted but then we all talked her into it. As she hands it to him she slips her words and says, "Hey fudge baby." We laughted histerically and the guy was really confused. I dont know if he'll ever come back. I hope so.
*note: fudge baby = poop*

Try our Fudge Babies...
They're DELICIOUS!

I was about to finish the last entry to calif and then the comp told me i couldn't so i shook my fist and now have to do it again.

Day Eleven: Last Full Day

Fact: Even God doesn't like Tara Reid.

Newsflash: Merry found dead from taking Unkie Val's glass.

Vivo Mexico!!

Missing Dog:
the toyota commercial with the dog chasing the non-moving car is always missed by one Liz Rivalsi.
I thought: maybe you're not ment to see it.
She thought: wow, that's so deep.

Theme song: smerfs...freakin' smerfs! (yeah thats right I spelled it wrong)

Here's the deal: in order for me to tell merry what liz and I took pictures of the previous night she had to get me butter for my roll.
Me: no buttah, no answers
Merry: I got your buttah right here (GRABS her bum)
*she was later pegged in the eye by a roll*

Barry White Impressions = My explosive laugh

We beat kidss that steal out kitty!
take the kittens....or the child

A convo about the kitty:
Liz: like a baby
Merry: like a bunny
Liz: like a baby bunny

Wait a sec: an add in the local paper for a food store had this to say, "We promise it's fresh, or it's free." Merry begged to ask, "Why would you want something free if it's not fresh?"

Time Flys: looking up at the clock in the porch.
OMG! It's 60 o'clock!
We missed our flight by 50 hours!
AHH! (hands go up and pinky's cross)

____________

now to get to present time, I am proud of my brother because of this new away message:

Auto response from ansky598: pillow-$5.00
blanket-$10.00
druling on both of them and dreaming of monkeys- priceless

aww, my insanity has rubbed off on him.

So sorry for the delay, I came back from cali on the 15th and then the 17th-19th I had to go to Ithaca Orientation which was cool. I'm excited for the fall. Anyway, back to bizness.

Day Ten:

Quote of the Day: Good thing you weren't giving me bricks. - Merry

Explaination: Merry sat on the floor and my aunt went to throw her a blanket and when she did merry sat up so it landed on her head, covering her suddenly.

And then she misunderstood:
Scene: the den couch
Character: Liz and Unkie Val
Dialoge:

Val: Liz...total friendship [gives Liz a piece of cheese]
Liz: [confused]
--Enter cat, who cheese was intended for to make him total friends with liz--
Liz: oh, I thought this was for OUR friendship.

Talkin' Smack: we went to a thrift store called Aaarmadillo. There the employees were talking about New Yawkas accents n such. I said, "New Yorkers don't talk like that." However, I twas not loud enough.

Merry is drunk:
1) Aw, I want hories to fly
[writer's note: Why wouldn't I NOT write hories?]
2) I was supposed to hit you a lot harder.
[I was hit with the lightest karate chop ever! Due to merry's poor depth perception]
3) on a note she writes I AM A HUGE BAGINA FACE and sticks it on me.
4) my leg now says F*
5) trust is broken: "I <3 +" is now on my leg
6) I <3 Kitties AFF, Merry <3 puppies AAF, Liz <3 Bunniez (or Bunnz) AAF

Only Liz Will Know: The Ten Years Theory is genius

Late Night stroll: pictures...can't tell you of what cuz then merry will know and we can't have that. Also found a rock.

Day Nine:

Who's Awake? - Col's awake...before noon!

Where'd we go? - Seal Beach, not for seals though. Aunt Kay and Uncle Joe remain some of the nicest people in the world. John Peter's kids are still adorable and goregous. Jonathon told blonde jokes, Andrea is the tanest person in the universe..its the egyptian in her.

Why aren't they home? - So we follow directions, get to their house, but it looked like their not home. So we go up and knock. No answer. Knock again. No answer. Open the mail slot to look in. No lights on. Liz sees an asian lady. So then we decide to wait in the car. About 5 mins later Merry asked if it was the right house. Liz checks. Yeah, we were off by one.
Imagine if those people were home?!

When are old men funny? - for "Uncle Pete" it's all the time. He encourages all to be crazy but careful. He tells jokes like it's his job. A fly was hanging around his hearing aid.

What accent? - New Yorkers have accents compared to cali folk. Subtle, like water, walking, strawberry, cherry, orange, chocolate. It was fun comparing. How do you say apple?

How about that music? - Jonathon asked if I ever heard of Snoop Dog.

Thats Tight!

Revelation: my group of friends have created our own language. We can't properly represent NY because even our fellow NYers would hear what we say and go...What?
ex) Tra, ser, def, tot, prob, aws, snap...

Day Eight:

Point/Counterpoint:
Merry and Liz - Wake up, Colleen
Colleen - No

My attempts to go back to sleep were sabotaged. However, my mom called and said to wake up, a truck came for me, I got a penny for my thoughts, and got to nap with a cucumber and tomato.

El Pollo Loco: Crazy chicken that didnt like my stomach so it hurty worty. But it was so goodie woodie.

Groundlings: the director lady had one HUGE dimple and would trail off at the end of her sentences with a mixture of excitement and clapping. Naturally we mocked her, even if she was sitting right next to us. Liz madeout with Benjamine Sommat from The Nanny. We all hid our upper lips. We basically ran the show. They took our suggestions of Underpants Factory and A Giant Meatball. Saw Micheal McDonald's underpants (he is Stewart from Mad TV).

Show Highlights:
The fairies that replaced her REAL son with a turd
You damn Jackass!
Old man Jeff - make him doubt himself...and the naps he took in the corner
See you next year!
This one's shaking
On top of old smokey all covered with cheese, I lost my poor hmmm-mmm.
Because I love you (huge gasp!)

Will she, Wont she?- Ya see, I sweat a lot. And even though some people look into deorderant n such, Merry and Liz assured me that suicide is the best answer. People like you more post mordem...aka dead.

Word of the day: The B word and Yeah!

Later on: smoked up a kitty, Merry hides her sass in her fass, and I'm the masta of da Rhyme.

"it's cuz their old." - Liz

Tomorrow: EARTHQUAKES!

Day Seven:

"Morning" Fun: had a hand-off. Merry won with a stomp o the foot. Liz gave in but alas! she stompted! Then tried to hide behind the fridge. But I said that I did it (guilty as charged). In other news, I cut the english muffin wrong so I stabbed myself.

Magic Mountain: Bets on the temp. were made; 101, 103, 107, 104. ooooh it was 102 as we stepped out of the car. So no one won. Thats junk. However, it was my first time feeling hundred digit weather. Yep! (once again, I speech real good) 1st corndog was eaten, freakin 4.50. I tried to take Liz's brain. Went on a water ride and OF COURSE I'm wearing a white tank top and OF COURSE, who is the 1st one soaked? uh, me. Merry hydroplaned on a puddle with her flip flops and splashed Liz on purpose! Thats SO mean! (Enter floor it music here) We then shared our American Pride. Proud to me an American...with nazi undertones.

Later: Watched "Is this your dog?" and Crank Yankers is ober

Oldschool AND Wonderful: (hick voice) I like beans

A Conversation: about David Letterman's redo of an Oprah show
Me: What's with the boo-hoo?
Liz: Oprah does that.
Me: Really?
Liz: I dunno.

Unkie Val is Crazy!:
example - guy dies and he says, "adios Mo-Fo" cept he DIDNT say mo-fo.
example again - Julia Roberts country singin Ex...appearently she couldnt french kiss him cuz her tongue would get stuck. I think HE madeout with him!

Infomercials: The Juice Man. Now what made this man think, "Hey, you know what? I'm gonna make my eyebrows insane." Maybe it was the chinese people. "Apple, ok. Apple."

Day Five:

A Late Start: woke up a couple times but only got up at 1:15. It's impressive, and sad.

Speech Probs: I can't speech at all today: example: snots!, godchild, gloss, dogfaced killa, etc.

Videotaped Virtual Tour of the digital casa: I got lost in Africa, saw children covered in cement, looked for a lost dog, pet a kitty, saw the white house, saw the clone garden...they were in the fetal stage

Unkie Ken Hangout Time: went to starlight chinese place and saw a wall of pictures of the customers. A baby was healthy and eating healthy, others looked like moviestar, and then merry stole the pic with two men who eat brown rice and it makes them more healthy. Saw a fish flop...a sad death. SVA vs SIA ( School of Imaginery Arts) blank walls n such, they imagine beating ppl up.

World Mysteries: I dont understand why ppl with beards of bees try to shave...with honey non the less. And why merry went cliff diving into a rocky quary. Some people confoose me.

A Shame: everyone has stolen something of zero value except for me and it's MY mission. What the F is that?

Discovery: sherbert is good

Did you hear that?: Freak whiste-er=Liz. Always Whistling!

Think bout dis: A crazy old fart. How does an old fart stay alive for that long. Rumor has it, they disapate into the air. I guess thats why its crazy.

Jimmy Newtron: the movie that will make your kids rape you. Hey, its happens

Homesickness strikes: Liz misses her na-na and the questions asked.

Liz's Revenge: she scared the crap out of Merry since her attempts on me over the years have been unsuccessful.

-----------------------

Day Six:

New Word: Muggin'

Real World Reruns Strike Again!: Yeah, they are addicting AND fun to watch

Mad Crazy Search For: Jam or some sort of Jelly to go on toast. In the search I found an evil tomato with horns and a butt.

Fun with Glasses: my glasses were making me look crazy cuz they were all crooked n such

Cruised: 'round Cali all by ourselves. Blasted the radio. Read a magazine. Realized how embarrassing it must be to buy old people diapers. There is no hiding that.

A Convo at the Dinner Table: Unkie Val eats bunnies. I made friends with a brick that I talk to. opposi thinking; right way is to puff at the air, wrong way is to puff and hmm....(gasp!) WRONG! -> this bred a teacher who is fired cuz they are always surprised and yelling at the kids...(gasp!) NOT TRUE!

Liz Killed Me: with lightsabers and limbs and killing knives

A New Game: we played a three person triangle coin game and the neighbors saw us. Note: Liz wants Nerf stuff.

White Gravy Sinerio: Aunt Donna said she was going to throw out the white gravy and Unkie Val got sad so he then ate more mash dtados to finish up some o the gravy before the mountain lion bears could get to it.

Facts:
1) Old Man and Humpback Whale are the same when acted out.
2) Bunnies wiggle their noses.

Uh-oh Skeetie-Os..she knows!: Aunt Donna told us that she got a faulty box of cookies from Knotts Berry Farm. They were mysteriously half eaten. We all agreed it was best for her to bring them back.

Day Four:

I woke up before Liz and Merry had a chance to stare at me. Ah, the tables have turned.

Knotts Berry: many "your mom" lines from Merry, Aunt Donna losing mental faith in us thus we got off Ghostrider but not before we saw 18+infinity ghosts. Then we became sluts for our old time picture...I mean we went for the "risque" setting. Liz accomplishes second mission; to get free cookies. I sneeze for attention, The Plunge bailed on us but not before making the What Am I Doing? game; some of the highlights: You're checking the nutritional labels of things..that was my guess at liz putting away books. THere was also the Underwear checker, the wild monkey that chased us, eating chocoleet pudding shakes

Back at the Hiz-ous: Liz tells me to "shut up," then proceeds to call me "insane"

New Q Word: Qwalking

Then I: forced Liz to look at evil and stole some cookies while Aunt Donna was sweepies.

Day Three:

Santa Monica Peir: so many big arse expensivo houses, T-bell and funnel cakes, Ferris Wheel; scary to lean all the way back, I licked the pole, and we hid our fun from the employees. Bought; sunglasses and zip up hoody. Named a boat the SS Poopsie, watched guys paint with their fingers, saw a crazy lady yell at no one, found a cool skirt..41 bucks...no thanks, 5 dollar palm reading; long life, work with mind, not rich or poor but happy, 3 kids, appearently my bf loves me more than I think since I'm "not getting the love I want", lucky days are sat and sunday. Can you say general?

On the way back: I dared Liz to steal a little street cone and she did, but the light we were stopped at turned green so she attempted to dive back into the car. Unfortunately she dove a bit high and hit her head on the car door. Don't worry, she's ok.

At the House: discussed The Real World...we agree that Tonya sucks. Liz then tripped as she sneezed. And I discovered that the walls give me immunity from the Rath of Liz.

A shocking discovery: There is something in the In and Out burgers. We think it's the cheese. It's laced. [for the east coasters, In and Out is an AMAZING burger place where everything is made fresh and its reasonable priced]
Case in point: Colleen throws up on me - Merry

Fun with the Letter Q: Qwhat? and Qwater

Watched The Others and shared stories of unexplained and contact with other worlds.

We discussed parents eternal power and I said how one day we will have that power..."and abuse it like the rest of them" - Merry
(no offense to all the rents out there)

Informercials: Before and After "Bring It Up" breasts...Awesome.

Time Travel! Going back to Day One and Two of the trip:

Day One:

Airports: need entertainment, too much like a library. Needs more disco and clapping. We clapped as people got off and got mostly confused looks. There was a handshake and in Nashville we got a lady to start to clap - she had no clue.

Arrival: early and we laid on the "crab grass" it's amazing to touch the plant life. Thick leaves, bright flowers, grapevine. Even the weeds are perdy. Everything is so vibrant, no cool colors hea! As Merry said, Californians would come to NY and upon seeing the dull house colors would say: "wha-what is this?"

New Vocab Word: fuzz=po-po. I had no clue. Go Merry! It's getting fuzzy in hea. PEACE!

Song O the Day: Sweatness by Jimmy Eat World; sung on the plane and the guy ahead had to know what I was listening to.

Missions:
Liz - VW van spottin' (check)
Merry - hug a kitty (check)
Me - steal sometin' (yet to occur)

Day Two:

Hollywood: OJ's hizous and crime scene, Crazy Orca house and weird roofs, Three stooges, Wax Museum, Discovering Unkie Val's non-use of signals when driving, Starbucks renaming me Colly, Citywalk; merry wets pants, Wizards, Blocking merry from touching garage ceiling

More Reason's Why I love Letterman: band played Battle of Who Could Care Less by Ben Folds plus, "What about monkeys?"

I am proud because: I found the sorcerer's stone! Yeah Extra Scenes! once again...I heart Snape

My sincere apologies for the lack of updates. I just dont get home early enough and my relatives are in the room that has the compooder so I can't update when I'd like to. However I am leaving you all again. But this time I'm hiring a bbsitter to look over you so I don't come home to a ruined couch and beer stains on my satin sheets. Holligans! Liz, Merry, and Myself (sounds like a tv show) are all going back to cali for ...oh..10 days. Jealous?! We're outta hea as of 12:35 tomorrow. But my aunt and uncle do have a compooder at their house. They are into modern technology so I'll be able to update. I plan on having Moments O the Vacation. And there will most likely bee tons of jokes make so picking the Phrase O the Week will prob be tough.

Before I go I'd like to do alittle segment known as: Thesaurus Time

Todays word: Ear aka concha [con-CHA!]
Next time you get water in your ear from going swimmies in da pool, tell everyone: Hey, I got some water in my conCHA!
[then shake like crazy to get it out]

Thesaurus Time brought to you by Lamp Shades.
Without dem shades, the light would KILL you.

I'm leavin' on a jet plane.

LATA FOOS

Graduation. Hot and long. Best part was going to see Trading Spaces, the TLC show where two sets of neighbors switch homes for 2 days and redo one room in each others house. They each get a designer and 1000 dollar budget. Such a great show. So once Jesse tells me that TS is in Lake Grove and that they met Ty, the coolest carpenter EVER!, I was all...We are going today to see it. Then at about 6 pm we left my graduation par-tay we went; Me, Merry, cousin Patrick, and my social issues teacher Ms.Ogozalek. The car ride itself was udderly hilarious since we wanted to take Ms.O's car; a stick shift toyota corrola like mine. We fine the house and low and behold who is on the porch...Frank the designer. Sweaty Frank who seems gay but isn't. So I'm all Frank! YEAH!! WOO-HOO. And then I ask to shake his hand. I did. Then we all talked to him about the show and whatnot for about 15 mins.

Met one of the homeowners and he, Sal, was really nice and invited us back to see his house when it was all done. So we did. And we saw Paige Davis..THE HOST! got her autograph. Saw the house that Frank did. Freakin so cool seeing behind the scenes. The episode will air Sept 28 for all those wanting to know.

And the Phrase O the Week goes to Ms. Ogozalek. On the way back from meeting Frank we discussed what she hear. Appearently when I said Frank! and asked to shake his hand {which he said he was sweaty and whipped his hand off before shakage} she heard it as:

Hey Fat Guy! Can you rub your fat on me?!

Crazy Ms.O. She doesnt know WHAT is going on. But she knows her stuff on bears. Bears that eat bears. And such. And all. And whatnot. And stuff. And etc.

You got the idea.

My friend Holly Ponticello sent me this email with some guys quotes that I THOUGHT I saved...but no. [hangs head in shame] Anyway they were amusing and they made you think.

Here you go:

If you catch an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do?

Can a vegitarian eat animal crackers?

and thats all I remember! Yaye! In other news, I did absolutely nothing today from 12-5:30. I think it's summer...but then I had to work. [insert Boo here] No I actually like work. But it's so cool not really having any responsibility to do anything at all. I just kinda slept and then ate some waffles and then watched some of The Outer Limits. I wish I had something clever to say....

Oh Conan O'Brien made a statue of himself and tried to get some NJ town to keep it. Ya know, if I made a statue of myself I think I'd have myself picking my nose in the statue since you dont see that everyday. I dunno why not. I mean cmon no matter how old you get you are always picking your nose. babies and kids have no shame. As you get older to try to hid it with a tissue and as you get older I think you care less and just go for it. Old people nose pick. It's a beauty.
Now that we have established what the pose will be, where shall I put it. Why not a foreign country. How about...the Waldbaums parking lot on Portion road. PERFECT! Ah, my life is so done.

I wanna be like Adam Sandler. Everytime he goes on Talk Shows or Awards stuff he wears t-shirts and regular pants and sneakers. Now I dont care so much about the pants I'd wear but I want to be wearing t-shirts and sneakers for the rest of my life. Maybe I just wont EVER wear pants. But the only job for that is a prostitute...oh man. Eh, I gotta do what I gotta do to make my dreams come true.

See ya on the flipside.
See ya, wouldnt want to BE ya!!!
oooooh snap!!
I don't really mean it, I just say things.

Some memories of Prom and after prom camping:

Prom:
1) searching for the chicken lady with the most amazing chicken EVER!
2) talking with jess rouge
3) dancing with ms. ogozalek and hearing her say "oh shit!"
4) dancing up on mrs. brush
5) going insane from the mad-phat beats
6) putting ALL my dinner on tonys plate and him not noticing at all
7) Nick humping the table
8) Singing to Dave
9) reminding ppl that Merry, Liz, and I all share food but not showers
10) cookie bars!

Camping:
1) BUM FIGHTS!
2) Jesse having a vagina toe and junk foot
3) The AMAZING Card Trick Liz...and her before trick speech
4) Diagnosis..death.
5) Is my penis darker? (to avoid confusion...I said this)
6) Hearing other campers yell to the obnoxious kids next to us who didnt know it was "Quiet Time"...the F word was used
7) Burning the food - bacon, eggs, strawberrys, bananas, apples, bags of chips...etc
8) Completion of my Quest to drink all the lactaid milk
9) "Making love" to the crumb cake with Liz, Tim, and Jon...in 5 second intervals
10) Befriending the chipmonks and domesticating them

There are more memories but I know the people outside of my circle o friends who were there when this all "went down" will be totally confused about this list o events. I hope everyone had a fun and safe after prom. Oh and our limo driver told us a story about Micheal Bolton...jealous?! I am SO not telling.

Graduation is this Saturday. It's gonna be crazy. I think it will hit me then how many people I won't really see again. I dunno if I'll cry. If I do, try not to be all AW! col is crying...cuz that will only make it worse. Either that or I'll punch you in the face.

My Aunt is in from Cali. There are 8 days and counting til we be out o hea and be ova dare.

Tim says funny things.

I forgot to tell all of y'all that the other day I took a sexy test at IHOP to see how sexy I was......appearently I am a sex maniac. How about them apples?

So Phrase O the Week goes to a man I just met today. I went with Jon to this collective graduation party in Westchester that had a lot of his family. I was warned about Uncle Don. I met Uncle Don. I was ready for the challenge. He made a comment about me being a redhead, and I couldnt let him believe a lie so I told him it was dyed. Then he was saying he could see the roots...which I then said was impostible cuz I just dyed it so there was no roots. He then added a humorously awkward comment about how you could tell if I was a REAL redhead. In his Uncle Don way he said to me:

Drop your draws.

Oh Uncle Don, he's so crazy. Jon's family is crazy and I love it. I feel so at home.

You can call me Ray, you can call me Jay, you can call me John, but dont' call me Ms. WebAHHH!
Don't worry it's ok to be confused.

I'd like to post some of Liz Rivalsi's work. I hope she doesn't mind. Please don't sue me!

i've got no thyroid
to digest me
to make me fat or make me thin
i had a thyroid
but now i'm less
there are no thyroids in me

hiho the merio
thats the only way to go
i want the world to know
nothing ever worries me

Hiho the merio
I'm as happy as can be
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me

I've got no thyroid
so i eat lots
i dont cook food, i dont smoke pot
they've got thyroids
but you can see
there are no thy-roids in me

you have no thyroid
your throat is free
to love me by the Zuider Zee
ya ya ya
if you would woo
i'd bust my thyroid in for you

you've got no thyroid
comme ce comme ca
i've got a thyroid
but entre nous
i'd cut my thyroid out for yous

down where the volga flows
theres a russian rendevous
where me and ivan go
but i'd rather go with you, hey!

It's kinda like watching an old man try to get up a flight of stairs; it's funny but awkward.

Keep up the good work Liz.

A humorous convo between Dan Ling and Myself at 1:30am:

methudman6: why are you up so late
Lactaid Lady: i dunno
Lactaid Lady: i just cant get myself to to go to sleep
Lactaid Lady: you?
methudman6: yes
methudman6: same thing
methudman6: and i'm like bored too
methudman6: but i dont' wanna sleep
methudman6: happens to me like everydya
Lactaid Lady: and the weird thing is....i love sleep
Lactaid Lady: yet, i avoid it
methudman6: yea
methudman6: i like being awake as much as i like sleeping
methudman6: lol
Lactaid Lady: i like being awake n all, but i mean...sleep
Lactaid Lady: oh man
Lactaid Lady: they need to bottle it
methudman6: yea
methudman6: drink that shit up
Lactaid Lady: lol
Lactaid Lady: it would be like water mixed with rufies
methudman6: rufies
methudman6: wats that
Lactaid Lady: date rape drug
Lactaid Lady: makes you sleepy and forget
methudman6: i don't wnana forget sex
Lactaid Lady: well we'll take out that in our Bottle O Sleep
Lactaid Lady: so ppl can sleep AND enjoy sex
methudman6: ahh yes
Lactaid Lady: can it get any better?!
methudman6: i don't think so baby
methudman6: let's start mixing those sleep drinks
Lactaid Lady: Otay, i'll make them secretly at work
methudman6: yessss
methudman6: i'll stop by
methudman6: and when i say
methudman6: i'll have a medium... hmm i'm so sleepy i can't rmemeber wha tflavor i wanted
methudman6: that's whenyou give it to me
methudman6: you will say
methudman6: well, i heard passion fruit is quite good
Lactaid Lady: and you say....
methudman6: and serve the wonderful sleep concoction
Lactaid Lady: then everyone else will be like...what is that?
Lactaid Lady: and i'll be like Smoothie O Sleep (cuz it wouldnt make sense to call it a bottle since it's not in a bottle)
methudman6: true
methudman6: truuuuuue
methudman6: man i'm really hungry
methudman6: lol
Lactaid Lady: and then the whole world will get hooked
methudman6: maybe i should eat something
Lactaid Lady: and then i'll slip rufies in and rape the world!
methudman6: ahhhhhhhh
Lactaid Lady: i mean....yeah you should eat something
methudman6: i don't mind being raped
methudman6: i don't have to forget about it
methudman6: don't waste any rufies on me
Lactaid Lady: ok cool

I kissed a lesbian (more on that later)

Tonight the good people at Volvo informed me that it was National Safety Month. Now I don't quiet understand this. Should I know more safety rules? Am I living a safe life? Eh, screw it. You know what I thought of right away....Mrytle the Safety Turtle, from the hit nickelodeon show Welcome Freshman. But I want you all to be aware that he was neither a real turtle, nor was he really safe. Wrap your mind around THAT one.

Editors Note: Liz Rivalsi DID win the Phrase O the Week. There was no other competition. For shame! GO LIZ!

Dictionary Tiempo!

todays word is: mid-most: being in or near the exact middle.
Now in sentence form: Mid-most is a stupid, stupid word that will NEVER be funny.

more on the lesbian kiss...
jon=lesbian
sthilly!

LAter Foo's